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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The grammar... is so horrendous, well at least is your first clop fic, hopefully you will improve that. Also, his name is Spike, not Spikes.
That was a nice little story. I kinda figured the ending.
Some pretty glaring spelling, grammar and pacing issues here, but for a first time that's to be expected.
In the morning, if you want, i'll pick over this in more detail, hopefully fixing a few of your errors and helping you as an author, 'cause you seem to have potential.
looks like you spike are going to become applejacks new pair of boots and maybe a dragon wing stew for big mac and granny smith is about to have the first dragon apple(draple?) pie ever
so in the words of the greats:
assets.diylol.com/hfs/ceb/284/c66/resized/chuck-norris-meme-generator-bro-you-re-fucked-ba580d.jpg
Wait it's not what it looks like, we were... uh... going over multiplication tables...
Umm hi apple jake hehehheh I know what it looks like but realy ummmm...... Okay I admit it is it what it looks like!!! No hideing it lol
Well spikes a goner....... It's not bad for a first, but try to be more descriptive in your writing .... I had a very hard time visualizing the story unfold.
2679114
agreed more detail but make it subtle so it flows well. sometimes there is such thing as too much detail .........but try to prove it to twilight sparkle the master of too much detail and you will end up at war.
Well........ It's kinda good. I'm a terrible clopfic writer so, I'd say it's fine
This is pretty good and I have not seen a lot of spike and applebloom so I would say this is pretty creative.
Good work for a first.
Dont leve us hangen
Very nice story and that endig was really funny cant wait for the sequel
Saw the ending coming a mile away but I still chuckled a bit. Not bad.
Applejack is pissed.
Good story. Just need to be space out...make it hard to read.
busted
I saw the end coming, but still laughed! Should have had a pre reader/ editor, but nice job for your first clop fic!
who didn't see that last part coming lol
A stated by some black person from some movie...damn!
that was good. probably my favorite pairing. simply because it seems possible.
Sequel!!!!!!!!!!!! This could be a really good story if you wanted it to be.
2721630 I agree completely
Lmao spike done fucked up
I wish it was longer. the ending was predictable(I'm not saying its not good but if Big Mac came in instead and he got his ass beat that would have worked as well) and I wish the there was more detail with the Sex and it was not rushed.
I meant if spike got his ass whooped by Big Mac that would be funny as hell
They were already naked to begin with and whens the next chapter coming?
Dragons don't sweat ND ponies don't wear clothes...
Boiception
Your ending the story but it could have some pretty good chapters added
Not bad for a first try. I look forward to future attempts.
more!!!
When i started reading it i was like [http://youtu.be/YIQguao8Gfw]Then when i got to the ending i was like
3116450 and technicolor-ed cartoon ponies/dragons don't exist. MINDFREAK
Some spelling and grammer mistakes but overall fun to read
3116450
I've seen Spike sweat in the show before. And I'm pretty sure Rarity would disagree with the second part of your statement