Future Progressive: The Speedfics and Drabbles of Present Perfect

by PresentPerfect

Rainbow Dash Gets a Big Ball of Lame Stuck in Her Throat

Rainbow Dash Gets a Big Ball of Lame Stuck in Her Throat
by Present Perfect

"Okay," Twilight said, rustling her wings, "who wants to explain how this one got started?"

Rainbow Dash massaged her neck, glaring balefully at the large, spit-covered yellow wad nearby. Applejack kicked a hoof and stared at the ground. Rarity tried very hard to look anywhere but at another pony. Pinkie Pie bounced up and down, holding one of her hooves up.

"Ooh! Ooh!"

"Yes, Pinkie?"

Pinkie hopped into the middle of the area. "Okay, so, today was National Catch Stuff in Your Mouth Day--"

"A holiday you made up, I should add," said Applejack.

"Not the point! The point is, I'm way good at catching stuff in my mouth, so I usually organize instead of participate!" Pinkie hopped onto one forehoof. "And since Dashie likes contests, she started trying to see what all she could catch in her mouth. She's real good at pie-catching, that's my favorite!"

Twilight's face morphed into its usual flabbergasted-because-Pinkie-Pie state. "Uh-huh, and..."

"Aaaand!" Pinkie twirled and hopped onto her hind legs. "Applejack showed up next, and she and Rainbow Dash got really into the whole competition thing. Y'know, like they do."

"I, uh, mighta gone a little overboard there," Applejack said to nopony in particular.

"Yes indeedly-do! But things didn't take a turn for the worst until we got over near Carousel Boutique." Pinkie stuck out her tongue. "I kinda dunno what happened then."

Twilight turned to Rarity. "Rarity, can you shed any light on the situation?"

Rarity flinched. "Honestly, Twilight, I was there, but I have no idea how it happened." Her lower lip jutted out. "Yet I still feel it was my fault somehow. I just cannot for the life of me figure out how Rainbow Dash was able to swallow an entire bolt of my best gold lamé! Ohh, and I was planning to use as an accent for a series of suits commissioned by Neighberaci, and now it's ruined!" Rarity flung herself to the pavement, weeping loudly.

"Ah-huh." Twilight began chewing on her lip. "Well, maybe Rainbow Dash can explain. That is, if you're feeling up to it, Rainbow."

Rainbow nodded and stood, her movements slow.

"Care to enlighten us as to exactly what happened?"

"It was--" Rainbow croaked, stopping to cough violently. She spat out several gold threads as the others closed in.

"It was..."

"Yes?" they chorused.

"It was..."

"Yeeees?" Pinkie leaned too far forward, falling on her face with a "Whoa!"

Rainbow sighed. "It sucked."

Without a clear answer, the incident was written off as another "Ponyville, am I right?" escapade. Rainbow Dash made a full recovery after a day spent taking it easy. Fluttershy was inwardly thankful that the damage to Rainbow's throat meant she wasn't in any shape to complain. Pinkie was inordinately displeased about something for the rest of the day, for reasons nopony could discern.

Author's Note:

This fic is a riff on a line from Three's a Crowd so obscure, I had to go back and remind myself just what it was. That's all I really have to say about it other than it's kind of not really a story. At least I didn't end with them going to get ice cream.

Maybe I should have.

15th place finalist in the April 2014 Writeoff, "One Little Mistake".

Comments

[Admiral Biscuit]

This is lame.

[Cursed Quill]

turn for the worst

worse