Weak, Powerless, Mortal
The Hour of Twilight has been averted, but at a terrible price; The Dragon Aspects, Patrons of Their Flights, have been stripped of their powers and have been turned mortal. They have no more faith in themselves now that the gifts granted to them by the Titans have been taken from them and they just wish to abandon all that they had struggled so hard to achieve, but the Titans upon seeing their children in this way won't have any of it and one by one, send an Aspect, in a new body, on a mission on the Titan's most peaceful, but most dangerous world; Equis, home of the ponies.
Cover Image is whichever Aspect were on so is subject to change.
Chapters (2)
Hmmm, interesting. Never seen a crossover with the dragon aspects.
Point to you.
Though, do separate the dialogue. If a new person starts talking, it goes into it's own paragraph or such. Don' cram multiple people into one paragraph. Makes it a bit confusing.
Other then that, nothing bad. Keep up the good work. (Tracking.)
Please make this awesome.
2668513 Is it not already?
2668504 Ya i'm not the best writer and to tell the truth, this is the most effort I've ever put into one of my stories, i'll see what I can do
2668518
Hah, it's only 1.6k words my friend! An awesome fic this does not make. We need,
curtratcliffe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/moar-baby.jpg
2668525 My brain gets lazy sometimes
2668548
Hah that's alright, just don't abandon it sire!
2668550 I don't plan on it and Spike is gonna develop another crush soon XD
2668521 Don't beat yourself up. I think it's good so far. Just a little tid-bit like I said before and you'll be as right as rain.
2668559 Love that saying, right as rain
alright show me what you got buddy, i've been away from WoW for a long time but there is still shit like this (Wow story wise not your stuff...just getting context right) that i remember
2668771 Ya, but we finally killed all the past villains so we get new ones now
Oh my...
2679569 Oh my, good or bad?
2679756 Oh this is good. It's very good indeed.
Hate to be nitpicky... alright, I don't, but this here:
I think you may have made a small mistake there. Besides that, there's a lot of mistakes to be had here (like in some places you wrote 'their' when you really meant 'they're' - common mistake, sure).
By the way, this isn't as much as a mistake on your part as it is a personal opinion of mine, but I think Alexstrasza's brooding could've lasted a lot longer. For example, she flies around to contemplate and to observe more than just a mere human village. Just having one of the Pantheon (who may or may not even be present on - let alone caring about - Azeroth anymore) spontaneously punting her into Equestria makes it seem like you just wanted to rush the plot and get to the ponies as fast as possible. Granted, we do want to see the ponies but a little character development and reflecting her personality at the start would do the story some good (it would especially help the readers who knows next to nothing about her find her more likable as a protagonist).
That's just an opinion though. Carry on as you were.
One thing I forgot to mention: don't have two characters speak in the same paragraph (you did that a few times). It only serves to confuse and make the reading experience less enjoyable.
EDIT: In fact, you did it with all the characters' dialogue.
2684387 Well, I didn't really know how to extend the brooding anymore then I already did and I wanted to let people get to learn Alexstrasza while the story went on and she is obviously going to be really angry and quite loud at first then she kinda calms down through the story
2684400 I already had someone tell me that so don't worry, chapter 2 makes an honest effort against that
2684407 Good. Because like I said, it really puts a damper on the viewer's reading experience. My advice is to just rewrite the first chapter and take on the matter of separate dialogue and grammatical issues. Other than that, the story's interesting.
2684418 I will revise the chapters once Alexstrasza's saga is complete and before Ysera's saga begins and revision will go through like that
2684428 Sounds like a good idea.
so where is chapter2 ?
2810666 Being painstakingly forged by the Ironforge Dwarves and enchanted by Wrathion
What i would fell awsume is that other than spike. they recognize her somewhat as a dragon Perhaps.
You're still squashing the characters' dialogue together. When a new character speaks, always break into a new paragraph. Otherwise it just makes it harder to understand who's talking and when (yes, I did say the same in my comment in the previous chapter, but this fundamental rule of literature cannot go ignored).
2813060 Didn't you notice the decrease in times I did that, that was the way i've tended to write and i'm easing my self out of that habit, ok?
2813013 Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow might seeing as they have spent the most time among dragons
2813069 No excuses: it doesn't matter if you've improved on punctuation when you're deliberately still making mistakes on it. It's like picking up a rock, throwing it at a window and saying "Yes, I threw a rock at the window, but it wasn't a big rock". Either way, the glass breaks.
Yes, I can see you have improved; but a good fic, no matter how interesting the plot is and how solid of a story it contains, is built upon well-constructed grammar, punctuation and spelling. Just take time to correct any mistakes and errors before posting chapters. It may be a lot of work at times but it's worth it.
2813135 I thought we went over the revise later thing
2813135 I thought we went over the revise later thing
2813217 Alright. Revising all of it later will be more work at once, though.
I have a question. Will Wrathion be in this at all?
3117104 I'm not even sure, I thought about it but I couldn't think of someone for him to go with, I have a system
Alex-Fluttershy
Ysera-Pinkie
Kalec-Twilight
and Nozdormu I don't think i'll add either
i think he should be with rainbow since Wrathion is preaty powerful and a little cocky it may be a good match
3120266 I agree and maybe Nozdormu can go with Rarity, their both pretty patient and intelligent
or applejack.
3136692 Hm, maybe
so, bar the fact that there was a author comment within 23 hrs. of this question, will an update be coming soon?
3141441 I don't think their will be for atleast a month
3141582 awww
3141974 I'm terribly sorry
3147037 meh, whatever, as long as the chapter is good and the shipping isn't awful it will be worth it.
3147211 I will only ship one of the Aspects!
Is this dead
All the aspects are going to the pony world?
I like it.
More of this, please. ^w^