Friendship is Serious

by The card holder

The Start of Something Serious

Twilight Sparkle placed the book on a desk, preparing to read it. As bad as this "Mental" person was, at least he gave her library a generous selection of new books. Sure, it was because he thought that the ponies would be of no threat to him whatsoever, but she was hoping that his overconfidence would lead to his downfall.

Glancing out the window, Twilight sighed. The sight of the usual band of different alien creatures roaming about reminded her of her failure months ago...

Although, it wasn't really their fault; The Elements of Harmony had failed to stop Nightmare Moon that fateful day, but after a month of endless night, a foolproof plan was formed in order to finally defeat her.

How was the resistance she led supposed to know that they would be beaten to the punch by an evil alien overlord?

In a matter of moments, Nightmare Moon had been rather viciously killed (Princess Luna along with her...), and Mental began sending out his forces to occupy various towns across Equestria. Since Celestia was still nowhere to be found, it had seemed rather nice of him at the time to set the sun and moon on a permanent revolution around the planet.

Of course, this act of kindness was forgotten once he began the complete eradication of all other countries on the planet. Equestria was spared from this for some reason, though nopony thought it was for anything good.

For these reasons, Twilight had been looking for ways to overthrow him, but all of the methods she thought of seemed doomed to fail. If the griffin kingdoms were wiped out in less than a week, what chance would a rag-tag bunch of ponies have?

What they would need is a secret weapon. Something- Or, perhaps, someone- that could help them.

As it was, she had found just that: one of the books talked about a force that "single-handedly prevented the expansion of Mental's armies to certain planets". Hopefully, this would mean that this force would help them. All Twilight needed was for the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony to arrive, and bring with them the thing she would need to pull this off...

A knock on the door alerted her to their arrival. Looking out the window, she saw the five ponies she met on her first day in Ponyville, who were also the other five bearers of the Elements and the other members of the former resistance. Not only that, but even with the constant peril since her arrival, they had become her friends, as well.

Opening the door, she said some simple greetings to them as they piled in; no need to bring attention from the patrolling aliens.

"Glad to see you're still alright, Twi'," Applejack said, setting down a picnic basket.

"Any trouble getting here?" the purple unicorn asked.

"Nope, those aliens were clueless!" Rainbow Dash boasted. "We could've snuck anything past 'em!"

"I do hope you know what you're doing," Rarity said. "We can't afford to mess this up."

"I'm sure it will be fine," Twilight reassured her friends. They went upstairs, where Spike was laying in his bed, looking at the ceiling idly. He looked at the ponies upon hearing their hoofsteps, but his focus centered on a certain white unicorn.

"H- Hey, Rarity," he greeted, jumping to his feet.

"Hello, Spike," she replied, "How have you been?"

Before the young dragon could answer, Twilight cleared her throat. "Talking can come later. For now we need to get this done." Setting the book down on a nearby desk and pulling out the fabled amulet her friends smuggled in, which was needed in order to pull this off, she focused on the page describing this enemy of Mental. She knew that the amulet would twist her thoughts into evil ones, but she only planned to wear it long enough to cast the spell.

After putting it on, she immediately began to concentrate, searching for the enemy the book mentioned anywhere in time or space with her augmented magic. Soon, she found traces of something that had destroyed many of the same aliens that were patrolling outside at that very moment. Hoping it was what she was looking for, she put all her energy into a teleportation spell for that very something. The moment she finished, a bright blue flash of light erupted just in front of her horn, knocking all her friends off their hooves and the amulet off her neck. Looking up, she couldn't believe what she saw.

---

5200 years and two minutes ago, some light years away

"YEEEEEHAAAAAW!"

In the middle of the Egyptian desert, sometime around 3000 BC, a lone man wearing nothing but a t-shirt with a trademarked logo on it, jeans, and a pair of red sneakers tore through hordes of various creatures, including skeletal horse demon things, half-alien-half-machine abominations, and headless screaming men, all with his own hand-held minigun. The few things that would get close to him he would sidestep, before turning them into minced meat (or a pile of bones). More and more enemies kept teleporting in, but the man welcomed the new bullet sponges.

He honestly forgot why he was in that desert for a third time now, but he was sure the voice in his head would tell him once he was done here.

As if on cue, the NEuroTRonically Implanted Combat Situation Analyzer (more easily shortened to NETRICSA) implanted in his skull sent a message directly to the man's brain, which was processed as simply hearing a voice in his head.

"Sam, I just detected a spike in magical energy nearby," the arguably female voice said. "Be careful!"

"Oh, calm down, Netty!" Sam said back, using the even easier shortening of the AI's name. "It's not anything I can't handle!"

A large group of beheaded suicide bombers came literally screaming over a hill, and Sam aimed his minigun at them, preparing to paint the sand in their blood. Before he could pull the trigger, however, he was suddenly lifted up into the air by some unseen force. "What the-?!"

In a flash of light, he was gone. The group of headless kamikazes, no longer screaming, looked at each other before shrugging and walking off calmly to do things headless kamikazes are wont to do when not blowing up.

---

Back to the present

Just a foot in front of Twilight, a bipedal creature had fallen onto the ground. It actually looked somewhat similar to those headless things that wandered the streets, except this one wasn't missing its cranium. It was wearing a simple white shirt with an image of a smirking bomb on it, along with jeans and red shoes. It started to stand up, and Twilight backed away to where her friends were. They watched as the thing stood up, cracked its neck, and looked at them. For a good thirty seconds, neither party said anything. Then suddenly, the thing hit his face with his hand.

"Oh, you can't be serious..." he said.

Comments

[DaGoomba]

A Serious Sam crossover?
...
...
...
...continue.

[axb993]

The card holder.

Writing a Serious Sam crossover.

I think I just came.

[UndercoverWalrus]

Are you Serious?

[adamdwarf]

WE ARE 100% SERIOUS! sam

[Pick-Six]

This is getting serious.

[KRissCHu573]

This story...
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw124_130120391642.png
th03.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/f/2011/170/b/2/you_have_pleased_fluttershy_by_physicallypossible-d3jcrlg.jpg
But...in order for that to remain...
allmystery.de/i/t88f423_fluttershy_wants_moar_by_alexgoestrollan.png

[Paladin Redflare]

I don't even know who Serious Sam is, but will read.

[Serpenti]

Cereal Sam you say?

[Perception Filter]

This is a pretty serious situation.

[ArthurHucksake]

I'm SERIOUSLY ok with this, please proceed.

[The dragon hunter]

The group of headless kamikazes, no longer screaming, looked at each other before shrugging and walking off calmly to do things headless kamikazes are wont to do when not blowing up.

[NintenDOS]

Double the humans double the fun