(A little request story I did. It's not to be taken seriously or anything, I'm just doing this to test out my writing skills.)
Night Shade is a pegasus pony who want's nothing more ,but to put Rainbow Dash in her place.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 4th May, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 20th, 2016
Lady the Rainicorn
Im a Reader not a Writer!........If you have any pony related please notify me.
Lady the Rainicorn
Joined 4th May, 2012 ·
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Well... you didn't do average. Just saying, since I guess, the reason you posted this is that because you want someone to tell you your mistakes.
Only one speaker per paragraph; a basic rule that every new writers keep missing.
The self-insert, which focuses onto Night Shade. Everyone knows that Lightning Dust is the only match for Rainbow Dash.
The OOC character, which means Celestia is out of character, since she's not a tyrant, and wouldn't possibly give such punishment.
Well, that's all what I want to point out.
2656535 I would consider it a draw, but seeing Rainbow Dash could do a sonic rainboom, you're right. Rainbow Dash would win.
2656586 Wh-what!? What did I do!?
2656704 If it's a race. But you're forgetting about farm pone.
2656771 What I meant was that nopony could beat RD in a race. But when it comes to other activities, she's sometimes a sucker to AJ.
Remember when AJ and RD had a competition?
2656785 Farm pone, and rainbow pone are best athletic pones.
2656800 Farm pone makes cider.
2656816 As long as I get to hug Dashie.
2656832 You thought I was gonna confess without something in return? Well think again. Now hand over the hug, Skittle pone.
2656875 How dare you puke because of my scent, Skittle pone!?
>sighed in relief
>lost wings for a year
Also, that escalated quickly.
2656816
Rainbow Dash's strength is in flying.
Applejack's strength is in non-flying physical activity.
Rainbow Dash is a cheater.
Applejack is a fair player.
2657070
After Rainbow Dash cheated multiple times, Applejack couldn't take it anymore, even she had her limits.
Rainbow Dash just didn't want to lose.
2657141
BE SCARED