The Interdimensional Field Trip

by Fussan

Chapter Eight: Escape

Chapter Eight: Escape

Equis, Equestria, Canterlot

We walked through the quieter parts of Canterlot for most of the trip. No guards followed us around, so we were in the clear. All we had to do was get to a hidden station that only an underground force of pegasi criminals knew the location of, avoid detection from the hundreds of guards in the city, Manage to secure passage on the balloon so we can get out of the city, survive a ride in the clouds with a bunch of dangerous thugs, and be back in Ponyville before supper... Piece of cake.

It only took us maybe an hour of sneaking around the city to get to the area where the balloon docking station was. But with guards on the look out for us, we were constantly ducking into alleys, running into stores, and jumping into dumpsters when we thought we heard something. It would have been a lot easier if we were not wearing the completely ludicrous outfits that we were in. But what can I say; you gotta do, what you gotta do.

At some point or another, we had to run into a clothing store so two passing guards would not see us. What we did not know was that we had just entered a lingerie shop. The owner saw that we were hiding from the guards and took the situation to make us buy something. She told us if we did not she would rat us out. We almost did not buy it, but we had no choice when she tried to call for the guards to come back.

So Rainbow was sporting a black latex maid's uniform and had leather high-heel boots that went up to the first joint in her legs. She had also gotten the little hat that had come with the outfit, but instantly threw it away once we were out of the shop.

I was was in a close weave sleeveless fish net shirt. Why, you ask? Because after I lost my beater at the castle I needed a shirt; that, and it was the only thing that could stretch far enough for me to wear. I also got a new belt- one that held my new assortment of whips, riding crops, flogs, and other things of that sort. To finish off my little get-up, I was wearing a thick leather choker with a small, red gem in the center.

Even though they were ponies, they still used leather. Real leather too; not fake stuff. I do not know why they were not freaked out about using cows' skin, but I guess it is just one of those things in life you do not question and just accept.

So there we were; two people who were trying to sneak around the city, fully outfitted to look like a couple of gimps.

"Ugh, this is horrible. I can barely move without this stupid thing squeaking!" Rainbow was having a hard time of wearing the outfit she had purchased. I had suggested that she should just take it off, but she had said that since she bought it, she was going to get some use out of it.

I pulled on the collar I was wearing and looked down to her. "You think I'm enjoying wearing this thing? I feel ridiculous Rainbow. Why can't I just take it off?"

"'Cause I paid for it, and until you pay me back what I spent, you'll wear it!"

"Fine, whatever, I'm taking this stupid thing off when we get back home though."

I would never admit this to anybody, but I actually enjoyed wearing this outfit. I am not sure why, but I have a thing for wearing collars that fit a little bit too tightly.

We kept going past all the rows of stores and the ponies giving us strange looks- god I hate people looking at me- and entered a small tavern at the end of a street. To say we fit in with the crowd here would be an understatement. In fact, we were the most normal looking pair here. There were ponies with peg legs, ponies with crazy get-ups, even some ponies with peg legs and crazy get-ups.

We walked over to the bar and took a seat. Well, Rainbow took a seat; the bar stool way way too small for me, so I just stood there and leaned on the bar top. A scruffy pony with a scraggly beard walked up to us and asked us what we wanted. "Are ya here for mah famous hard cider, or are ya here for my... other... services?"

I looked at him curiously. "Other services? What else is there?"

He smiled at me devilishly and raised his head up high. "Cherry! Get yer sweet, little flank over here!"

After a few seconds, a small earth-pony mare trotted up to the bar and leaned against it with a bored look on her face.

"What d'ya want Tappa', can't ya see I'm busy here?"

She spoke in an accent that I would have guessed came from Manhatten. Here, they have a city almost with the same name; it's called "Manehatten".

"This young feller wants ta know what other services we have here."

She instantly perked up and spun around to face me. She took a few seconds to look me over, as if judging me. Finally she got a wry look on her face and put a hoof on my chest and started tracing small circles with it.

"Well, why didn't ya just say so Tappa'. I'd be more than happy to show him just what kind of... services... I can provide."

I could not believe my ears. Was she really coming on to me? How the hell can so much crazy shit be happening in the same day?!

"Uh, that's nice of you, really. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to say no."

She put on a little pouty face and snuggled up close to me, pushing herself up against my chest and lower body. I am not sure why, but that felt weirdly good.

"Aww, can't ya just go for a lil' bit of a service?"

I tried to smile at her, but I am almost certain it looked like a grimace.

"To tell the truth, I'm kinda broke at the moment."

I was lying through my teeth. I did not want to because I was not sure if I really did want to. She is a pony, I am a Human; I am not really sure my culture would exactly smile upon that sort of thing. Do not get me wrong, she is pretty cute, but really, I am not sure if it would be bestiality or not. She is a pony, but she is also a sentient being, and there is all this alien porn crap, and everybody seems to think that is okay. But this is not a pornographic fetish, this is real life; and I am not sure if I can proudly say "Hey guys, I just fucked a magical talking pony! Beat that!".

"Don't worry 'bout that baby, the first one's on me." She said those last two words in a style that somebody would tell a dirty joke.

Before either of us could say anything else, Rainbow spoke up. "Sorry lady, but he's with me."

We both looked over to Rainbow with shocked expressions.

"That's right, and we're here on business. So if you wouldn't mind, get lost."

She made a face at Rainbow, then pulled me closer with her teeth by my choker to whisper something in my ears. Once I was close enough she let go and held my head closer by hooking her two front hooves around my neck. "If things between you two don't work out, remember my offer baby." She then planted a kiss square on my lips and let me go. Before she trotted off, she looked at me and gave a wink.

"I'll... be sure to keep that in mind." I sat there stunned for a few moments before Tapper spoke up again.

"She really is somethin', ain't she?"

I just nodded dumbly and stared after her. But then I spun around when I remembered what Rainbow had said just a second ago. "What do you mean 'I'm with you'?! Back on the train you didn't want to have anything to do with me!"

She shook her head at me. "I said that so she would leave us alone and we could do what we came here for."

"I- uh, oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

Rainbow then turned to Tapper and got straight to the point.

"Listen, we're not here for cider or her. We're here to get out of Canterlot."

Tapper nodded slowly and spoke with a certain amount of hate in his voice.

"I'll bet. Those dang guards can never stay outta anyponys' business." He looked straight at me and eyed me like I was a diamond ring being judged by a potential buyer. "I'ma go out on a limb here n' say yer the one who got into the trouble in the first place."

I smiled a little sheepishly at that. "Well, I uh, guess you could say that."

"That doesn't matter," said Rainbow. "What does matter is that we get aboard the next balloon and get a ride to Ponyville as soon as possible."

He looked back to Rainbow. "Fine, it's fifty bits a rider."

"What?! That's way higher than it was the last time I was here!"

"Well the price goes up according to the risk. He's pretty noticeable, so I'm taking a bigger risk than if he were a pony."

Rainbow grumbled and took out her little coin bag- I have no idea where the hell she kept it- and counted out the small gold bits.

"I only have forty-two bits'."

"Then I guess he ain't gettin' outta Canterlot."

Rainbow started to argue with Tapper over the price while I started thinking.

How can I make a few extra bucks in a bar...?

I looked around and spotted a group of seven or eight mares laughing drunkenly around a big table. It only took me a few seconds to from the idea, but it took considerably less time for me to me to act on it. I walked up to the table with a swagger in my step and a sly look on my face. I had practiced doing this, so I was not worried that I would look like a fool. But I did have to ponder the idea that this might not be a normal thing here. But I did not have long to think about it as I reached the table only after a few long strides.

"So what's the party about?" I asked as I strode up to the table.

They all turned to face me with drunken eyes as they all yelled out the answer at once. "It's mares' night out!"

I raised an eyebrow at them. "Oh really? Well how would you like some entertainment to go with your drinks?"

They all looked at me saucily at that.

"What do you mean by... 'entertainment'?"

"Yeah, do you have something special on that belt of yours?"

I smiled at them and shook my head. "All in due time, my sweets." Then I hopped up onto the table and hooked my thumbs into my belt. "So who wants a show?!"

They all screamed at once. "I DO!"

I took that as my cue to start my routine and did a little dance on the table top while my hands roamed around on my chest and occasionally my lower areas. They whooped and cheered and I could feel tugs at my belt as they stuffed small bags of gold bits into my pants. After a few minutes, the entire female population of the bar- and even a few mares passing by- came over to the table I was dancing on and started reaching out to me and cheering. A couple of times a mare would jump up onto the table and dance with me, but would get pulled down by other mares. At some point a bottle of cider was thrown at me, but I saw it coming and caught it in mid-air. I stopped in my dancing and went to drink the beverage. But instead of doing it the normal way, I held it away from my face and let it pour over my neck and down my chest. This only made the mares scream louder, and invited me to dance harder.

This went on for maybe half an hour before Tapper walked up and made me stop by knocking the table over. I got up in time to see Tapper getting mobbed by angry mares and having to jump back behind the bar to avoid dismemberment. I dusted myself off and looked up to see the mares in the bar looking at me with longing eyes.

"Sorry y'all, that's all for now. Maybe I can do this again some other time."

The was a collective "aaaawwwwww!" from all the mares in the crowd, and a low grumble from all the stallions.

I walked back up to the bar chuckling to myself at what had just went down. I saw Rainbow looking at me with wide eyes and jaw hanging low to the ground.

"What the hay was that?!"

"What? The bouncer job got boring so I took on a job as a dancer."

We looked at each other for a few seconds, not saying anything, but then Tapper cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Ahem, so I'm guessin' you're gonna be buying a passage?"

I gave him a smug grin. "Eeyup, I do believe I am."

I took out one of the lighter pouches and counter out eight bits. Then I slid them over to Rainbow, who took them and added them to hers and paid Tapper. He then took out a smooth, black stone that was about the size of a quarter. I took the stone and put it in my pocket. Then me and Rainbow walked out of the bar, and over to where the balloon should be.

"So, how much money did you make?"

I pulled out all the bags I had stuck in my pants and counted all the bits I had gained from my little peep show.

"I have... a little over three hundred bits."

Rainbow stopped in her tracks and stared at me like I had just told her that I was a pony in disguise.

"You got all that from just dancing?!"

"What can I say?" I said. "I'm good at what I do."

We turned a corner and saw something that made me do a double take. There was a huge balloon painted to look like a cloud. No, it was a cloud. They were using a huge cloud as cover to hide the balloon in. We walked up to the ramp that led up to the huge basket that held ponies in it. As we approached a group of rough looking ponies got up and stood in our way.

"Wha'chu want?!"

"I'm looking for a way out of Canterlot. I heard you could provide that."

"Yeah, we can; but you gotta pay the fee!"

I looked over them with a growing anger.

"I already did."

"I don't see no money! Do you two see any money?!" He was talking to the two that were flanking him on either side.

"Nope, no money here."

"I can't see any shiny."

The leader of the three looked back to me with a sneer. "We don't see no money! So that means you gotta pay!"

I was barely containing my anger at this point.

"I paid. Let me through."

They all stepped up closer to me, and the leader got into my face.

"I said- urrk!"

I grabbed him by the throat and lifted him off the ground so we were eye level. "Listen, I paid my way, now you better let me pass or I'm going to get angry. You wouldn't like me very much when I'm angry." I squeezed extremely hard and his eyes bulged out of their sockets, then I let him fall to the ground and walked past him. The other two quickly stepped out of my way as I passed. I reached into my pocket and took out the token that Tapper had given me and tossed it back to them as I walked up the ramp.

Rainbow trotted after me as I walked up into the basket. "Wow, you really showed him."

"I don't like when people yell at me."

I was not looking at her when I said this. I just stared into the empty space where the balloon was.

"Hey, don't be like that. I'm here, and I think you did the right thing by showing them who's boss. I would have done the same thing in your place."

I looked over to her with a smile. "Thanks Rainbow, that means a lot." I walked over to where my seat was on the balloon and Rainbow followed me closely in to the balloon. I gave her a curious look. "I thought you would be flying. What's up?"

She looked down at the ground and mumbled something.

"What was that?"

She mumbled something again, a bit louder this time.

"I'm not a bat Rainbow. You're going to have to speak up."

She heaved a sigh. "I said I want to ride with you."

I was genuinely surprised at her words. I did not know she wanted to ride with me; I thought she would have wanted to fly back. I was not going to tell her off, but I wanted to get something straight. "Uh, okay. But if you kiss me again, you're going to have admit that you're the one who's crazy about me." I said that with a cocky smile.

Her head shot up and she glared at me. I could tell she was still angry about the little incident on the train. "Trust me Django; it'll be you, who tries to kiss me."

"Whatever you say Rainbow. I get the window seat this time." I sat down on my seat and leaned against the side of the basket. I looked out over the railing for a while, but when the balloon lifted off, I started to feel drowsy again. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes open, but it was just to much for me. My eyes slipped closed and I drifted off to sleep.

***

I opened my eyes very slowly. They felt like they were glued together and me opening them hurt. It felt like they were being ripped off of my face instead of just being opened. I was able to tell that I was laying down from the feeling of support of my head. I could also feel a weight on my chest, and picked my head up to see what it was, and saw that a cyan blur was laying on top of me. I knew now that this was Rainbow from the last time this happened. I poked Rainbow in the side to wake her up. "Hey, wake up."

She stirred for a moment and mumbled something about not wanting to go to school.

"Hey! Rainbow, wake up!"

She lifted her head lazily off of my chest and looked at me with sleepy eyes.

"Are we there yet?" She sounded like she was just in a deep sleep. But I did not care at the moment; I wanted her to get off of me.

"Almost there, so get off me."

She got a slightly angry look on her face when I said that. "Why did you wake me up if we're not there yet?"

"Uh, maybe because you're sleeping on top of me?"

"You make a nice pillow."

"Really now?"

"Yes; so be a good pillow and shut up so I can sleep."

Before I could get another word in she put her head back down and went back to sleep. I rolled my eyes and was a little annoyed that she was asleep and could not see me doing so. I put my head back down on the seat and closed my eyes again.

Well, I can make her get up when we get there...

With that I drifted off back into a dreamless sleep.

***

We were woken up by a gruff voice a lot later than I had expected, seeing as it was nearly dark. I looked around and tried to get up, but Rainbow had to hop off first. After she did so we both walked over to the railing and saw the fringes of Ponyville.

"This is it folks. End of the line," said the captain.

I looked at him as if he were crazy. "But it's like, ten miles from here to town!"

He looked at me as if I was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen. "So? Not my problem."

I took a step closer to him and grabbed the front of his mane and pulled his head up so we were closer to eye level.

"Listen friend," I growled, "you're going to land us closer to town if you want to live."

His eyes widened at my threat, and I knew that I had won this little argument. "Alright, alright, I'll get you two a little closer. But don't expect me to land right at the town limits!"

I shook my head and leaned over the edge to watch the last bit of the sun setting over the horizon. It really was a glorious sight; but what made it even better was knowing that I had somebody to share it with.

What the fuck am I doing?! I can't be falling for her! She's a pony for fuck's sake!

I looked over to Rainbow and saw her staring out at the horizon; looking at the mixture of warm colors. Seeing the reds and oranges swirl together. The little wisps of pink and purple at the very edges, blending in seamlessly. The warm yellow of the last remaining rays of the sun's bright glow. It really was a magnificent sight... and I almost... did not hate it. It reminded me of things from the past. I did not really like my past, and everybody knew it. I closed my eyes and felt the cool breeze go through my hair. My hair was getting kind of long since we got here. It was almost to my shoulders in the back, and it was eye level in the front. I put the thought of my hair length to the side as I opened my eyes again and saw that we were considerably closer to the small town below us.

I looked back up to the setting sun and saw it as it finally slipped past the horizon and took all the warm light with it. I could see the moon rising over the hills to the east and could start to see all the starts in the night sky. It was not like back on Earth, oh no. Here you could see billions, upon billions of stars. I could even see things that must be distant planets standing out from the stars.

Suddenly I felt very homesick. I hated my family, and all of my friends, but that did not mean I did not have things going on for me back home. I was going to ask out this cute girl named Summer that lived down the street from me. I had a dog to take care of and he will be wondering where I am. I had a tournament coming up for regional champion for one of my computer games. I was going to miss all of that stuff. I never really thought about it before; but I actually miss my life back on Earth. Do not get me wrong, this place is about a million and two times better. But there are things I wanted to do back home that I will never be able to do now.

But I am the kind of guy who takes advantage of the situation and makes things go his way. I was not going to mope around about my shitty old life. I was living a new life, a new life in Equestria! I looked to Rainbow with a smile on my face. "Hey Rainbow, you know what parachutes are, right?"

She turned to me with a confused look on her face. "Yeah; what about 'em?"

I grinned devilishly as I thought about my plan. "How would you like to be one?"

I saw her cock her head to the side in puzzlement, but before she could say anything, I jumped out of the basket and went into a steep dive straight towards the ground. I was barreling down to the ground at lightning speed. I guessed I was about five hundred feet from becoming a splatter on the ground. I angled my body for more speed, and I could hear the wind whistling past me. I pasted four hundred feet, and my heart was pumping faster than it has ever done before. I zipped past three hundred and I could tell I had just hit terminal velocity. I was going fast, but I did not think I was gaining any more speed. I got to two hundred feet and I could make out the features of the ground below me in great detail. There were trees, and grass... and that was about it. I was at less than one hundred feet when I felt a grip under my arms. Rainbow had caught me before I hit the ground.

"Are you crazy?! I almost didn't catch you!"

We were coasting along in the air at a little less than one hundred feet and letting the trees and hills pass by under us.

"I wasn't worried; you are the greatest flier in Equestria after all."

She was silent for a moment, then I heard her laugh. "Heh, heh, yeah, I am pretty amazing. But why did you jump? Do you have a death wish or something?"

I shrugged as best I could with her holding me underneath my arms. "I just wanted to feel the wind in my hair is all."

"Yeah well, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry Rainbow, but that guy smelled like burnt cheese." I made a face at the end of my sentence to put emphasis on my point.

She laughed again and kept flying with me in her grip. We reached the borders of Ponyville after a few minutes and landed where nobody would see us. We walked through the town looking for guards who may be around. We did not know if they knew where I was staying at, but I was not about to take any chances.

We made it to the library without incident. Rainbow thought it best for her to be there with me so she could defend me if Twilight started throwing accusations my way. I wholeheartedly agreed with her and thanked her for her support.

We opened the door without a squeak and walked into the main room of the library quietly. The lights were out so Twilight must have already gone to bed. We made it half of the way to the basement door before we heard a voice. It was a voice that we both instantly recognize.

"Well Django, I hope you're up for another one of our little chats; because I'd like to discuss a few things with you."

Oh fuck...

End Chapter: Chapter Eight: Escape