• Member Since 7th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Monday

Rocinante


E
Source

150 years after the passing of her best friends, Twilight refuses to let go of her last promise to them all, "I will find you again."

Editing provided by Ersmiller

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 134 )

It's not perfectly written, but it's easily readable.

Promising, but you either need to put more work in editing or get a beta-reader. It's not unreadable-bad, but it's enough to leave a bad impression.

I am his editor. I didn't get a chance to edit yet. I should get the edits in around Monday.

2666320
See, I should have known better then to post this without letting you scrub it for me.

It's short I told myself. I can self-edit this one.

I owe you a pizza or something.

MORE. and i cant believe five of the mane six are dead! so sad. :pinkiesad2: :applecry: :fluttercry: :fluttershbad: :fluttershyouch: :fluttershysad:

and this little scene was so awesome.

“Sisters?” Twilight asked, jotted the names down, making mental note to see if they were related to Rarity.

“Twins,” they replied with a toothy grin.

“And your cutie mark?” she asked looking to their flanks.

“We don’t have one yet,” they groaned.

“Have you checked in the past five minutes, because I can see that you do.”

Snapping their head to first their own flanks, then the others. The sisters squealed, grasping each other they jumped and spun with glee. Twilight smiled and shook her head, not interrupting the celebration she made a quick note of their mark, since she could see them now. They had a matched pair of lavender and white magic streaks, surrounded by five small stars. Morning having the lavender on top, and Evening having the white on top.

I'll be watching you

look forward to it.

The twins and Twi definitely have something going on that is good for both parties.

It's nice to see that spending time with the twins is getting to Twilight, she clearly needed some pony interaction.

This is nice
However to stay canon they said that Twilight would not be immortal

However you captured Twilight very realistically

So I give youu......
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

I'm really hoping that Twilight figures out that you don't have to resurrect your friends through dark magic, just make new friends.

2798451

"they" say a lot of things.

2798735

Do the words "replacement goldfish" illustrate the callowness of such a sentiment?

2798858 Better replacement goldfish than necromancy.

2798451 I needed her immortal for this story. I will also give credit that I am pulling some inspiration from Sharing the Night

However you captured Twilight very realistically

:twilightsmile: Thank you!

2798550

tad fluffy

You should see the first draft! I try to carve the narrative down, but I was getting contemplates about being too lean in my other stories. I'm still trying to find that happy balance.
As for editors, I have three good, but volunteer editors, that I can only impose so much on without feeling bad.

A bat winged Surprise, with no relation to Pinkie? That's a bit unexpected. You could even say it's a surprise.

Okay, that was terrible.

I'm really liking the idea of magical Spike.

2846446 She's named Surprise because Lavender had been told she was genetically sterile.

wow, energy from this fall cimbined with unimaginable energy of sonic rainboom. condesed into pure magic, I guess this held more power than alicorn can use normally. Why I feel like twilight is going to want to use it? Besides they are going to disrupt this world if they keep converting energy like that.

great story.

Woah. Starting to wonder if we're building up another set of Element Bearers here.

Moonbeam and Sunny Skies, great references. A tad surprised by the first, don't see that one nearly as much as Sunny.

Ooooo, go Big Mac!

Welp, dream magic is probably a better idea than necromancy.

“Well, Dash and I got bored waiting for you, so we decided to come back and find you.”
It was Twilight’s turn to sit and blink. “Where’s Dash then?”
Morning looked around. “I don’t know where sis went off to. Where are we anyway?”

I love it! That is wonderful, and I so did not see it coming. The details given all along fit together very nicely.

3104408 Moonbeam was the first FIMfic I read. A lot of what I write is shaped by that story.

The only reason I saw this coming was that I've read stories with a similar basis. (That does make it a bad story, but I mean come on, who hasn't read a story where the elements regenerate? Its a great topic to write about.)

3104499 Cool. It's a shame the sequel is stuck in "probably will never finish" land, considering that the author hasn't been on FimFic in 38 weeks.

2846464
does that mean she cant have kids?

3207666 That is what she was told. Due to the race difference between dragons and ponies she was born sterile, (or unable to have children). The lavender character I use is largely pulled from this . I have my own back story and personality for her. But that is defiantly the seed of the idea.

larger than a manacor now

My research suggests that Manacor is a city in Spain. Perhaps it was supposed to be a manticore?

3267293 Ha. Thank you. Will fix these tonight.

I wonder why this story isn't more popular, so far it deserves some serious attention that it's not getting.

And suddenly epic happened.

*insert usual it lives comment*

Actually it's nice to see this again, it certainly has potential.

4387178
What killed me was the age thing. I needed about five years to pass between the start, and the "meat" of this story.

After beating my head against a wall, I've decide to treat everything I've written so far a a prologue, and just dive straight into the second half of the story.

4387250 If done right it really shouldn't be a problem, looking forward to reading more.:pinkiehappy:

This is... surprisingly well written. :rainbowderp: Not often you find a Twilight X-years after deaths of friends tale that is. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this, so keep up the great work. :twilightsmile:

Did you run the last 2 chapters by a proof reader? They've got lots of minor mistakes.

That complaint aside it's nice to see this updating again.

Heh, it took a few hundred years and another life, but Spike may finally have a chance.

I'm always a big fan of the CMC having established an organization that lasted long after their deaths.

Oh whoops, I totally forgot that Spike did get together with Rarity.

“Alright you two. Don’t make me get the hose ... again,” Celestia’s voice called from the balcony.
“How did you get a garden hose into the dinning room anyway?” Luna asked turning to face her sister.

Hah!


4485019 >
This story is self edited. After I read the same chapter twenty times, it's hard to actually see it. Feel free to point out any typos.

>4484015
Headcanon for this story is Scootaloo's talent, was helping others find their talent. :scootangel:

What happened to the Crystal Empire????

4487720
I'm guessing it has something to do with Cadance's fall (mentioned last chapter). Of course, it was only mentioned last chapter, in passing...so very valid question. I want to know more about both.

4487765 CADANCE falls??? I gotta reread the chapters.

Furthermore: oh come ON.

4487806
“Crystal hearts never break, they shatter,”


Mostly done with ch 13, digging into ch 14 at this moment.

Wait wait waiiiit wait.

Either Discord's going to be part of the hinted adventure arc, sealed in the ice still or something...

Or he's probably hidden among the characters that've already shown up and now I have to reread the whole thing over again to try and spot him.

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