Luna is back but with the mind and body of a much younger pony. While she seems to be returning to her natural state quickly, it could be a year or more before her mentality is ready for ruling a kingdom. Celestia fears that in this state of development Luna will endure lasting impressions from her surroundings. Celestia is hit with the idea to send her sister to Ponyville to learn the ways of her new world.
With new friends and a new obsession Luna works to adapt to a new Equestria.
The cover art was done by a friend with miscommunication about Luna's appearance but its still lovely work
Chapters (14)
Love it! Great for your first time!
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Thank you, and be sure to check back soon to see what happens next for Luna.
i like how this is playing out.. continue
Luna and Vinyl? That's unexpected. :)
Hmm.
Thou hath garnered out attention bard. We wish thou to proceed and be successful in thy endeavor. (need Luna emoticon here)
Note to whoever can do something about this: Need Princess Luna Emotipony for Royal Canterlot voice.
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Everypony needs a best friends and iIspent two days debating between who Luna's would be. My other pick will be showing up soon but for now its a secret to everyone [or not a few people know.]
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I'll sure try to be I'm more or less making it up as I go but I have some key ideas I want to do.
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I love a good troll but the best trolls are those with good intentions. No intention is better than protecting your sister, or so I assume I don't have a sister to protect.
I've only read the first chapter, and already I am smiling like a filly!!
I think the "smiles per hundred words" count on this story has been the highest I've experienced.
EDIT: Just read chapter two...... that last line!
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After concluding chapter one and started notes for chapter two [long before I decided which pony would be her best friend] I noted that i wanted her to write home and that the chapter would conclude with that follow message
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So I wanted to really do a Luna story because I don't think I can write for the main six yet [Fluttershy being the only one I have any real desire to do a story about at all at the moment i want to wait on it] and Luna is my second favorite pony [behind Fluttershy] so i had the idea how does Luna become grounded again after 1000 years of exile and then I decided that's the story i want to tell right now. So before i began, knowing i didn't want to write for the main six, i asked myself who would be the best ponies for the job of helping Luna through this new world. D.J. PON3 was a given she's got all the technology and knows everything about anything you would want to know about the present [at least the way I see her] My secondary friend for her will likely be in chapter 4 as apposed to three. I've been a bit out of my zone for a while and some personal things just came up when I was planning on getting chapter three finished tomorrow. Now it looks likes this weekend will be best to work but who knows for sure if people stop bugging me about other peoples business I might just crank it out sooner [but not Thursday, Thursday i see the dentist and hopefully will not wake up till late friday or early saturday]
P.S. I'm tired a little annoyed because people won't leave me be and that is the cause for my rambling and untidy post
And thats how gamer Luna born
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When I set out to do this I decided I must keep Luna a gamer which is the reason behind the arcade. I decided that since I never got into the FPS games that is the majority of modern multi-player I would go old school go with fighting games.
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There's no school like the old school.
What's Luna trying to pronounce in the cover picture?
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Its the first time she use the word arcade
“Sister we do not know what this, how did you say it, ark-aid is, but what if we were to open the shop again and take care of these treasures until a time when they are ready to be reclaimed?”
2734199 Oh, that's an "a", it looks like a "c" to me
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Yeah I can see that but i feel like once you get to that part in the story it explains itself on the plus side if it were my writing or drawing it would look a purple and blue turtle with three heads saying "Raglefarf"
I am content to just let my friend do her own thing so i don't have to punish people with my attempts at art, or hand writing.
Regarding the "filly fooler" pairings & your reason for the teen warning - I'd hope that "Lyra and Bon Bon" who are here to stay would have already cooled the hot coals of some people.
As for my own head-canon, I still see Vinyl and Octavia as the house sharing "Ponyville Musicians". (Love that fan short!) Lyra and Bon Bon seem to be cemented by fans as a true couple which is fine, but I like the shakeup that happens between Octavia and Vinyl, which to me seems to happen far better as house-mates than a couple.
But I like your work with those two. It wasn't until the end when I realised that you decided to pair those two, but I loved it all the same. I guess my cautious thoughts are - if some writers decide to ship them together then the story will focus more on the shipping than the real interaction between the two polar opposites.
But you've written them well and get a pinkiesmile for it!
On a side note.... how do earth ponies eat nachos?? If Vinyl's unicorn magic method is that eye-rolling, what kind of an unholy mess would earth ponies or pegasi make?
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My favorite couples to hang out with are not the lovey lovey we are so perfect together couples because they never have any real interactions its more like one person with two bodies, I much prefer it when two people who are mostly opposites find they have some very strong connections because those are the people who are not only going to push each other but the people around them as well. I've seen Octavia paired with Vinyl and some people get it it wrong, some do get it right. I feel like if they are going to be together you can't just force them in to a romantic situation, because that's not where they shine as a pair. To be honest I'm not likely to ever right Lyra with Bon Bon not that they are that lovey lovey couple they have there differences but they aren't quite built to play against each other the way I would like.
As for the nacho comment, I have no clue. You may notice I didn't explain how Tavi went about eating her salad because to me it seems undignified to just mush you face into it. I would imagine the proper etiquette involves small bites similar to Luna's first, but do they just put there face close and nibble or can they magically use a fork or just pick them up with out fingers I'm not going to say that for you to decide.
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I entirely agree with what you said on the pairings. It's why there is a "Ponyville Musicians" and not a good Lyra & Bon Bon equivalent (not that I can think of). Of course there is that "Heartstrings" webcomic.... But you get the idea.
Hmmm, yes, eating salad by mushing one's face into it would probably have a similar effect to face planting a plate of nachos. Good point! I also have no idea. How about I follow your lead and not over think things..... it takes the *ahem* magic out of it.
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I prefer to offend people with my over cautiousness than to offend people from not paying enough attention to what i'm doing.
I Wanted Lyra in here but I don't really want to to do the whole human obsession thing [yet] but i thought if she was up against Angel she could complain about having hoofs. I have some fun plans for her for sure though.
Looking good so far, when I have some more time I'll try and catch up.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/13/PMr7mhdb8UOYQIbJ9MWfSg2.gif
Princess Luna is best princess. Well no duh everybody knows this.
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Well yeah but now Celestia has admitted so no pony can deny it.
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Sadly I have to admit that the Derpy encounter was not my idea. I was talking to my editor and explained the chapter had a snag. I explained that I wanted Tavi and Vinyl fighting over broken stuff but didn't know how to cause it or resolve it. She suggested Derpy show up to explain it was her fault. I liked the Derpy idea but I thought it would be better to use Trollestia
[although she hadn't read the letter to know how important it was]as a reason for things to be resolved later. Plus I couldnt justify Derpy chasing them all the way to the palace.
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How far along are you if may ask?
Very sorry but I have to take another week off because my keyboard broke in a very particular way that hinders my writing attempts so yeah I might have it fixed in a day or two but Its not overly likely
very sorry
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Why are we smiling like this?
Well, it wasn't bad, and I'll be giving the next chapter a shot.
However, whenever I use bad to describe a fic, it's already unanimously agreed in the comments and ratings that the fic should be burned in an internet inferno. Usually.
There is a general negative thing that's been layed throughout the entire chapter that I find difficult to describe and suggest a fix for. But, I've seen others say this in other stories where the problem was much the same, so I'll suggest it here as well.
"Show, don't Tell." Whenever something has happened, instead of giving a summary of the events, prehaps have it occur in realtime for the reader. For example, the paragraph explaining how Celestia gets Luna a place in Ponyville, maybe instead have it be a scene where Celestia is negotiating with Mayor Mare (Prehaps through letters) about the living arrangements for Luna, going through Celestia pining for any possible places, and the Mayor having only the arcade to offer as residence on that short notice.
Well, there's my two cents.
Huh, I just realized the Arcade will be a great way to bring out the Gamer Luna persona. Nice.
Welp, onto the next chapter.
While the fic is not really shinning to me in the brilliant light others get when they read something they KNOW they'll absolutely adore, it has so far shown that someone with competance (A far and few between trait needed for excellent stories on this site.) Is writing it.
Only downside thing that jumped out at me was the overexplanation of how the apartment was like.
I'm finding it funny how Luna's first friend made broke into her abode. And judging by the comments, you thought awhile on who her first friend should be, in which case I agree with the Dj pony being the choice.
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I want to thank you for your constructive comments. Showing not telling is something I really need to work on. It feels to me like I either focus on it so much that I can't get anything done or I lose sight of it completely. Honestly what I should do is find a proofreader with more writing knowledge than what I have now. I'm just not good at asking people I don't know for favors.
I do however like to think I tell a good and interesting story, just not in the best most interesting way.
WeI love this story! The idea the writing style just all of it! Please update soon! Go Luna!2848296
Why thank you. I do have to take a short break. Although those typically little over a week for me. [no promises this won't be longer.] I do enjoy writing this story though.
Fun, fun, fun.
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Yeah Bon Bon is creepy like that.
Stalker Admirer Same thing right?
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Bon Bon would agree with you.
Yes she is
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Princess Celestia herself said it so it must be true
OH buck Celestia gonna have some nightmares now!
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You Have no idea what is about to happen to her and it very well could get three ponies banished to the moon
Oh this is gonna be so funny!
IT'S JUSTICE, NOT VENGANCE!
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Its not good for you when you tempt Celestia with cake and don't deliver
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Justice or not messing with cake is practically a sin
3455355 You act like its pie its not. Cake is ok but pie Soarin knows what he talking about.
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Personally I'm no particular fan of either. I do love cheesecake which is sort of a pie but it has cake in the name. Hmmm this must be pondered on some more.
3455636 Cheesecake is awesome I give you that.
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But is it cake or is it pie? This question must be answered. This story is returning to hiatus until I can discern a reasonable answer.