“Any change, Dr. Murphy?”
“I’m afraid not. Our patient continues to remain in a deranged state. Whatever she saw… whatever she experienced has broken her mind. I hope for an eventual recovery, or some means of reaching her, but for now, it would seem there’s little we can do.
“How long has she been here now?”
“About two days. She resists treatment, she seems unaware of those who attempt to interact with her most of the time. Several times, her paranoia becomes focused on an imaginary external tormentor she calls “Discord”. When a doctor had provided her a chance to illustrate him, it appeared to be some sort of chimeric entity.”
“I’ve watched the series… I admit I’m familiar with the character. I can’t help but wonder, though, if this is happening and linked to other disappearances or that incident in Seattle, perhaps… he is not so imaginary?”
“That, or he’s impacted her in some way that has damaged her enough to perceive him as a recurring visitor… this is all fantastical at best, doctor, even with… her.”
“What do we do?”
“Keep her under observation.”
~
“How can you say this? Haven’t I made things better for us?”
“Who cares, Cale? I changed my mind anyway, sorry if that little sliver of hope lead you on in the end…”
Angela…
My heart squeezed in my chest once again, I opened my eyes and took in my padded surroundings. My short, rapid breaths slowed down as I looked down at my pink hooves. Two days and nothing’s changed. The walls around me now displayed the delirious episodes I’d suffered during that time, 5s/4 written on several of the pads… did I do that? How did I do that? When did I do that? Was anypon…anybody watching?
I grit my teeth realizing I’d almost said some ponyism again and collapsed to the floor, my hoofs mussing through my silky mane. “What’s wrong with me?!” I screamed out, trying not to break down.
Get out
Get out
Get out get out get out get out get outgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout
Five score divided by four
Five score divided by four.
Memories removed, bodies confused.
Not now, sweetie, mommy’s thinking!
Sunshine sunshine ladybugs awake!
My eyes widened as I realized I was reciting the jumbled phrases and words out loud. My heartbreak from losing Angela, my pain of knowing my Shining Armor was gone… no, that’s Cadance, that’s me, right? No! Yes? Maybe? Who am I? That’s ridiculous, my name’s…
My mind drew a blank as I tried to remember something other then ‘Cadance’. Mi Amore Cadenza? No, that’s not it! Who was I… the person who was married, who was known for helping others find a special some— soul mate. Why was it when I tried to think of the name it felt wrong? It was right, wasn’t it? I whimpered as I felt as though who I was just seemed to fade a little more.
“Why does it matter…” I muttered to myself. “I have nothing left to believe in…” Everything I did to try and make myself happy after I lost the person I’d loved felt like alcohol, it numbed the pain but it never made it go away. I dipped my head back down. Becoming the pony who symbolized and believed in the very thing I’d lost all hope in felt like a cruel joke. My heart had been broken, some believed they could be mended, but how could mine?
My eyes widened when I heard that horrible chuckle in the room. I wasn’t alone anymore, but these were the times I wished more then ever that I was.
“Please, leave me alone! I don’t want you here! Go away! Go away! Go AWAY!” I pleaded.
“Now, now, Princess. That’s not a very polite way to greet a visitor!” That smug, condescending tone I knew all too well now sneered. Odd, I hadn’t seen a telltale flash of light, or anything that signaled his arrival like the series always did.
“Answer me this, Cadance” the chimeralike entity asked, leaning right into my face. “How does somepony who’s got nothing left to believe in, continue to live?”
“….” I shook my head, my eyes squeezed shut as I tried to filter him out.
“The answer is ‘not very well’ of course!” Discord said with his crooked smirk. I swear I’ve heard his observation somewhere before but I was too lost in my grief and fear to think about it. “Take your current circumstances, my dear! You’re miserable here, but you don’t want to leave either because you feel it’s safer then out there!” He said with a laugh. I cringed and tried to turn away from him, but he was already there, having arched his body over me so he could look me in the eyes again.
“You had a bad day, didn’t you?” He asked.
“I’ve had a lot of bad days lately, Discord.” I answered back flatly. “I also read that story.”
“But does it sound nearly so ideal in its outcome now? It’s not a victory, it’s only delaying the inevitable! Why do you think I’ve always believed making sense literally makes no sense?” He snapped his fingers and images of Twilight Sparkle as a filly appeared, she did that greeting, but vanished. Then Shining Armor appeared, I couldn’t stop my heart from skipping a beat. Then he, too, vanished as I desperately reached out to him. “You are Cadance but you don’t have the memories, if Shining Armor was out there, what makes you think he’d be any different? He’d never remember you! You’re alone, Cadance! Love lost is love never regained. Those who think it's better to have loved and lost then never have loved at all and such are optimistic fools, much like Cadance once was, and in retrospect, like you once were, am I right?” He asked with a wide grin. “…Which brings me to my last point; when I say a bad day, I mean when you know you’ve lost everything, and all you believed in. Then, while some deny it and stall it, in the end they all come to find only chaos remains as the closest thing that, ironically, my dear…” He said with a grin. “Actually makes sense! Why do you think you find so much comfort and ease when you indulged in it these past few days?”
I stepped back, shaking my head. “Stop it... You’re not real! You’re in my mind!” I said, but I couldn’t stop my voice from trembling.
“Obviously! And so what if I am?” The draconequus sneered as he reclined in the air. “What’s that say about you?”
I had no response to that.
“Exactly. Be thankful you have the company!” He said, laughing out loud. “And be thankful you have such an easy escape from this pain… madness, insanity, chaos!”
As those words sank in, I collapsed to the ground again, alone in the darkness of my cell. I couldn’t stop myself from letting tears flow now. All I wanted was comfort, security, something to make the pain go away, the possibility of moving on with my life but I’d been denied that… did I even have the chance to without this, or was it some other illusion that’d end in tragedy? Everything that has a beginning has an end, right? That makes sense?
Happiness and love were temporary... yes... pain and loss were permanent once they ended, that made sense. It haunts you, it haunts me, I can’t let go, I am constantly reminded of those moments and they do nothing but make it worse. How do I live when whoever I was lost who mattered most to him? How do I... Cadance... live when Aunt Celestia... my Shining Armor... my sister-in-law... everypony I cared for was gone, or forgotten me? How do I live when I, the embodiment of love’s heart is dead inside?!
"What's our song again, Twilight? Show me..." I heard myself mutter.
…the answer is ‘not very well’...
Wow... Just. Wow. Every chapter of this story I've read so far has given me chills. I have no idea what story Discord was referencing, but seeing this kind of breakdown in a character like Cadence is... eerie. Very well written, but still chilling. I look forward to more!
Awesome
1.
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
2. *squee* new chapter
Seriously. WHY DID I CLICK THE LINK IN THE A/N?!!!
2878893
Because our curiosity is our own worst enemy!
2879420 ARGH! You crafty devil! ((although, I must say, I'm glad you decided to continue this.))
A brutal assault on sanity and form alike. Poor Cadence.
Incidentally, would it be alright if I referenced your story in my own? Since my protagonist is Screwball, it only seems appropriate if she were to at least hear of somepony with a hallucinatory Discord. I'll be sure to PM you the specifics when I get to that point in the story, should you give your approval.
2946709
Indeed. With Cadance's heart broken and her sanity in pieces due to said heartbreak and possible post-traumatic stress from her final memory in Equestria, her power is nerfed down, as Discord would want.
I give full approval and a moustache!
Keep me posted on what you had in mind!
The pic in the A/N, that was done in Paint, I assume?
3014340
Yeah, this computer doesn't have photoshop like my other one does
3016128
4.bp.blogspot.com/-C66TFtHHSoo/UQtSYgoqtlI/AAAAAAAABHg/iViRzoaHJmE/s320/I+called+it+1.jpg
3016132
That explains the ringing phone...
Hope you at least enjoyed the story thus far. One day, it shall resume
3016248 Enjoyed it very much, and look forward to seeing it continued
3043013
Indeed, I loved that movie!
Whoa. This story was really good! Poor, poor Cadence. Lost within a seamlessly never-ending sea of insanity and it's all thanks to the mastermind behind it all, DISCORD!
Really good read and I absolutely look forward to this story continuing.
~ Super-Brony12
3347142
Thanks! Once I know the ones who were (as far as I currently know) are ready and I present my case to the staff of the site so it can be passed(it taking place after everyone will have ponified completely and being a direct sequel taking place immediately after this one will hopefully help) I will get to work on the sequel
I can't sit idly, no I can't move at all, I curse the name, the one behind it all...
I think you have Discord pegged, if it's even possible to do that, seeing as he's the spirit of Chaos.
Mustache granted!
How do you fix a broken heart?
Wow! emotional stuff here. I hope thing turn up for her.
3621204
I've been trying to solve that one for a year, now.
4497539
Oh it will, read on
I'm stumped. What story was Discord referencing? Also, I wouldn't be on this chapter again except for one reason: I'm looking for your version of Discord's Curse, for reference purposes.
6133426
The Killing Joke, it's the question the Joker asks Batman after attempting to mentally break Gordon