• Member Since 1st Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 12th, 2013

Still Not Ben Stiller


T

Being a mare who likes other mares is suffering. It's a harsh lesson Rainbow Dash has known for a long, long time. From being rejected by those she loved, her family, and even denying herself; her life was incredibly difficult... that is, until she met Twilight Sparkle. However, when Rainbow finds herself having feelings for the librarian, she fears she will only face rejection again. Can she live in denial beside the one she yearns for, or will she take a chance with another rejection? As it turns out, there happens to be a third option available to her...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 122 )

2649602 It's not funny at all! Being a lesbian is suffering, not funny! BLOCKED

Uh... it's... uh...
Saying it's out of character and rushed is a bit of an understatement. I don't really know what else to say.

2649623 You know, you weren't supposed to do that.
2649627 I could make some other fics where that statement applies that are loved.

2649688
Try reading it with the lens that this dude is a total and utter troll, and that the point of this fic is to make you angry. Then, I can almost guarantee you will be laughing your ass off.

2649727
I was beginning to suspect a troll :moustache:

2649602 See my previous comment. It works wonders.

I'm sorry. I couldn't keep reading after the first five sentences.

Starting in media res, especially with a beginning like that, is not a great way to start a story about relationships. Particularly one as short as 1.5k words.

Eldorado
Moderator

2649727 I felt that way when approving it. There's some stuff near the end that I actually laughed at, but... otherwise this isn't even good as a troll, unfortunately. A good troll is one which blurs the line between deliberately bad and a serious attempt at bad, which generally makes people angry and happy at the same time while making my job a friggin' nightmare. This one's pretty easy to see through, and thus unsuccessful.

Shame, really.

Oh Lord, this is bad! Hilariously bad. Even if it wasn't a trollfic, it does such a terrible job at getting its message across that I just have to down vote it.

Sorry if that "triggers your autism." =/

You know, I think it's time to stop pretending to be retarded.

This fic was an experiment. A particularly hilarious one at that. You see, I wanted feature box. I had a hunch that you autists just thumb shit up without reading it because of "muh opposites attract" like the chumps you are

But I got thumbed down to all hell. So tell me, TwiDashfags, where did I go wrong? And how come you aren't countering my points? Because I'm right? Yeah, I figured.

2649688 NAME! I meant NAME some fics!

2649727 Playing the "not mad" card? Oh, drop the facade you pretentious, red faced piece of shit.

2649730 He's correct. I took you all on a ruse cruise.

2649813 It's about the same level of quality as every TwiDash fic.

2649856 Ding ding ding! You win, Captain Obvious!

2649865 Did you just take this seriously?
See my avatar for mfw.

2649914 You're breaking my heart, kid.

2649951 No, you downvoted because I insulted your precious and unrealistic ship.

Now quit reading this in Adachi's voice because it's over.

Eldorado
Moderator

2650138 You went wrong because this wasn't sappy and heartwarming. That's what the feature box goes for. As I said, it reads like a bad troll, and you got rated accordingly.

I've seen a cliched premise hit the top of the featured box more times than I can count. I've never seen a deliberately offensive trollfic get there.

Made me laugh, tho.

2650145 These are TwiDashfags we're discussing. They should be stupid enough to rate highly as long as they get their opposites attract. Which, might I add, is bullshit, like the odds of anyone but this one guy getting the reference I made here.

This is like a play; the characters say a few lines before they move on to the next act or scene.
...Except I'm supposed to read this like a book and NOT a play. It would be a bad one too.:pinkiesick:

So, wait, lemme get this straight. Are you saying that you have a problem with TwiDash shippers? Or rather, TwiDash in general?

2650177 >not realizing you were taken on a ruse cruise
Look at him and laugh.

Eldorado
Moderator

2650164 but you didn't play the relationship seriously. You wrote it as a joke, which is how anyone will read it. I confess to having a weakness for Rarijack shipping, and if I ever saw a story that played the relationship off like a trollfic, I'd certainly not find it funny. A serious story? Yes. An open satire making fun of the pairing? Yes. A story where things seem to go seriously but then there's a comedy twist ending? Yes. A story like this? Never in a billion years.

Operating under the assumption that "TwiDashfags" will jump on a cliche line like gold, it has to be delivered as if it thinks it's gold. Do you honestly think that a chick flick movie would do well in the reviews (by its target audience) if the hilariously unrealistic male lead sniggered at the terribleness of all his lines? Because that's kind of what you've written here.

2650187 Both. They can't accept the fact that "le opposites attract!!!111 xDDDDDD" is wrong. No, this isn't opinion, it's a fact.

Oh, okay then.

2650201 Oh, so you like RariJack. Another "le opposites attract!!!1111 xDDDDDDD" ship.

Why are you an approver, now?

Eldorado
Moderator

2650212 I applied for the job because it sounded interesting. And it is. Apparently running an editing group means people on the moderation staff have heard of my name and mentally place it in close proximity to a few positive-sounding adjectives. Hence, I book icon now.

I actually don't like Rarijack because opposites attract, because I similarly disagree with that as a general rule. I've seen a couple Rarijack stories that really were well done, and it made the ship seem logical. I totally don't get TwiDash shipping, or FlutterDash, or the other "opposites attract" pairings. And I don't go out and read every story with those two banging in it and call it the greatest story ever. It's got to be well written for me to even like it, let alone celebrate it.

Point is, you're not going to the feature box with a shipfic unless you take yourself seriously. The sheep will buy into their favorite ship based on a couple cliched lines and recurring themes, but you have to play them straight or else the whole thing falls apart.

2650261 Okay, that's actually good advice. Good on you.

Eldorado
Moderator

2650269 That's what I'm here for.

The story would be better if you just try and make events flow together instead of just making them appear out of thin air.:twilightsheepish: If writing twidash is something you enjoy, don't give it up. No matter what others might say.

2650323 AT LEAST ONE TWO THREE PEOPLE RUSED

If people rused that means they thought about the story so there is a small win in everything.

So, here's how my reading went down. And before I start, I am a huge twidash fan, I both write and read it, and it's really the only ship I like.

Now, I found this fic right after it was posted in the new stories list, and added it to my read later list. Now, two hours late, I have returned, and noticed it had those 28 dislikes. So, I already knew that odds are it was a pretty bad fic. Then, I read it, got through the first few paragraphs, and instantly started laughing my ass off. I could already tell exactly what this was going to do. I read on though, because it's been a while since I've had a really good laugh, and I wanted to see if the writer brought up any good, valid points. And, in my opinion, he did not. That being said, he's gonna dispute this no matter what facts/evidence/arguments I can present, so I'm not even gonna bother. What I am going to say, is that there are over 500 people who think Twidash is a good, logical ship. As for the question as to why Flutterdash isn't popular. It probably will be, eventually. If you didn't notice, the most popular ship changes regularly. A while ago it was Appledash, and now it's Twidash, it will change again, most likely. Now then, I finished the fic, at this point I had been laughing for a good while, all throughout the fic. Deciding I needed a bit more of a laugh, I began cycling through the comments. I noticed Timaeus commented, so I had to read that discussion. All in all, I gotta say, this was a good laugh, though not the best fic of this type. I've read a few fics like this that have been really good, but this one is not. The other fics did not suffer from a lack of plot. As much as this story was not made for the plot, a hilarious plot will add to the hilariousness of the attempt at mocking. However, you did not put the time nor the effort into this. You loose two points for that. However, you gain one point for assuming you didn't need to include a reason for rarity not being an option. That point is then lost again when you said they were all lesbians. You also loose a point for not including a scene with Pinkie, because her well known fourth wall breaking powers would be perfect for this fic. When I rate, you start with 7 points, and these modifiers determine the end result. All in all, you get 4/10. Sorry, better luck next time.

I thumbed it up

No I'm not ashamed

2650362 Bias? Implying not checkmate? Starting at 7?
-11/10 it's okay -IGN
2650406
Why?

2650447
not biased, actually.
If you'll notice, my rating system is quite fair. Like I said, you didn't loose any points for bad writing, which is how I take most points. But it also didn't do anything well. It didn't even troll well (which is a plus two) which a fic like this needs in order to even remotely be called a success.

2650462 It is biased because you're a TwiDashfag. Also, three people took this seriously, so you're wrong; it was a success.

This was a trollfic, wasn't it? If it wasn't, then why isn't it? I'm suggesting this to the MLP MST Archive

2650597 Congratulations! You cracked the code!

this was damn hilarious!!!!!!! my fav part was the Eminem reference. i laughed for a minute straight!!!!

This gets a thumb up from me because of how great a parody it is. :twilightsmile:

2650447

Your story was an excellent ruse a very well thought out flim flam that intended to and successfully rustled many a jimmies for that you earned the thumbs up

Not entirely sure what to say to this one. If it's meant to be a troll fic, well then good job. If not, well.... :facehoof: So have a moustache to make for it. :moustache:

2650138 don't flatter yourself. I down voted because it was a terrible fic. Parody or not, don't quit your day job, you're not suited to either writing or comedy.

Also, if you're aiming for the feature box, I'd suggest actually researching how the website works before wasting yours and everyone else's time ;)

2650138

No, no, no, I think you're confused. I legitimately found this to be hilarious because it was such a bad attempt at trolling and such a bad attempt to mock TwiDash shippers. Granted, you did succeed in rustling the jimmies of a few folks, so yay for you. I will admit some of your comments directed towards fans of the ship are downright insulting and were frankly rather hurtful, so yay for you, you succeed at being a horrible person on the Internet, achievement unlocked.

I've seen some good trolls around on this website. What you've done here though...it's just insulting. Huh, guess that upset me to a degree. Though not to the trolling...just to the flat-out insults (insults =/= trolling).

~TwiDashfag Timaeus out

I found this story to be a good chuckle, as a trollfic / parody.

But, as attempt to dupe me into thinking this is God's gift because it is TwiDash it fails, as I ain't the dumb sheep you presume me to be.

And I know that five or four plebs thought that you were being genuine, but that's because there are TwiDash stories that are in fact this bad and written with genuine intention of being good. And so as you said your intention was to reach the feature box based that the TwiDashers will up vote this to the next life only because it has TwiDash, so hasn't it failed by your own objective?

And with a "muh opposites attract" not being a fact, then pray tell, why do magnets of opposite of polarisation come together?

Also, are we getting a squeal?

2650138
Timmy, first congratulations on insulting practically everyone... Not just the TwiDash / RariJack shippers, but also smack-talking down to mods and conning them to take your argument seriously.
You're good. Very good. I applaud you.

Actually, no... I take that back. You're trying to show your superiority toward other people, your "1337 skillz of van tru vrajter n van tru sheeper" by taking smack to them. You're not doing good enough, you know? You should do better... Like repeatedly tell on all boards how much the ships that you dislike suck... Open at least 10-15 threads per day and let the participants know. Then, send the message to Knighty or one of the admins to let them be aware of how much the ships suck, and message all of them at least 10 times per day asking them why the fuck the groups aren't removed yet...
What a fucking n00b. Where the hell did you learn how to troll? Kindergarten?

2651687

I've seen some good trolls around on this website. What you've done here though...it's just insulting. Huh, guess that upset me to a degree. Though not to the trolling...just to the flat-out insults (insults =/= trolling).

Dude. He's a fucking noob. How the hell did you expect someone with no experience with trolling to do anything right?
Sheesh.

2651086 I want to bitchslap that smile off your cocky face, tough guy.

2651687 All I can see is damage control.

2651696 Actually, you are a sheep. The sooner you accept that, the happier I'll be.

2651794 Implying I haven't been following this way of life since middle school

2651981
... you know, this thread contains more than enough evidence to class you as a troll, a pretty bad troll at that, but a troll nevertheless. Let me disillusion you about a few things... even for a trollfic, this was bad. I'll read a lot of things for Twidash, this isn't one of them. And you really are just trying to start a flame war here.

I'd advise you to pack up shop and stop because it's obviously not going to get you anywhere and it's only going to cause this argument to derail further.

2651981

Implying I haven't been following this way of life since middle school

Pfff. Still a noob. So much "experience" and still no skillz.

What a joke.

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