• Member Since 6th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen May 25th, 2017

HazamaBrony


I love to be surprised by stories. Especially my own.

Sequels1

T

Twilight Sparkle has a secret. Not one that can change the world or overthrow the Princesses. But it is one that hangs over her head every day. One that colors her every thought and action. Or at least, that is how it seems to her. But when a rainbow colored pegasus asks her out on a date, will she learn to see past it, or will her secret tear apart a budding relationship?

Inspired by the excellent fic Asylum by Daemon of Decay.

Takes place before "A Canterlot Wedding."

Thanks to SilverSugar for the cover art. You can check out her other works here

Chapters (25)
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Comments ( 687 )

Ooh intriguing! I can't wait to see where you take this. I look forward to your new chapter. Have a like and a favourite. :3

Time to see where this goes.

Its very rare for me to read a romance without spike being the center. But alas your story has convinced me to make an exception I eagerly await what happens next. :pinkiesmile:

I really want to know what's wrong with my pretty purple pony.

A.C.M.S? I searched it and never found any thing what is it?

2931370
Something I made up for this story. I'll reveal all about it in a few chapters.

Some people just down vote to upset people. Don't take it too personally. I love your story.

good story so far, I like the direction in wich it goes.
And I'm rather curious how Rainbow will get to know Twilights secret and how she will react.

Just one thing is bugging me a bit: the weay Rainbow reacts about the Doctor visits. I think she would be a bit more concerned about Twilight.

2931387 Can you tell us what it is supposed to be then?

*Reads chapter 1 to 6* *Sees author's note* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Nice to see that Twilight is making progress. I always kinda thought Lesson Zero was the result of delayed Discording.

I approve of this story! :moustache:

It's a great idea. I just keep waiting for Twilight to reply "Yes, doctor" to the weekly question.

So far this has been a delightful story.:twilightsmile:

"Well, chapter is done. I guess I'll post it and then go to work and then see how many people look at it."
Comes back. Sees 30+ faves. :twilightoops:
Did this get featured or something?

3183707 It's an awesome storyline around a delicate subject. I love it and apparently so does everyone else. I'm looking forward to Rainbows response!

3183707
Maybe it has something to do with this story finnaly being put in some groups(even if the groups are about shipping, so most likely most of the new faves are mostly because of the TwiDash pairing, but it is still an good thing this story gets more attention:twilightsmile:)

Very intriguing. I am definitely looking forward to more on this.

YAY! Now for the super fun stuff! :pinkiehappy:

that period at the end seems kinda like a subtle way of saying that part of her excitement at the prospect of dating Twilight has been somewhat tempered. or maybe I'm reading between the lines a bit too much.

umm why do I think big mac has this and maybe rd does as well just has it hidden very well.

3211529 maciskinda given asocial by what you see and he most definatly shortens any sentence to just Eyep or Enope.

Now RD was a bit further you really have to look at the way she works. Even if she doesn't have THIS mental disorder she has to have something or at least seems to. she can go from exited to nervous to panic quickly. there are other things that I can think of just ocurancees but none that really I can call out.

3211850
I can see your point, but keep in mind it’s called abstract cutie mark syndrome. Both Mac and RD have pretty well defined cutie marks. I’m not saying that they wouldn’t be diagnosed with something (Big Mac in particular seems to have some form of social anxiety,) but I want to focus the story on Twilight, so it is unlikely that it will come up.

3211900 really tell me is RD's really a definate cutie mark? its a cloud with rainbow lightning shooting from it. Sure i could say Macs is specific so yeah that cuts down his chances alot but still RD's mark stans for what exactly? cloud could mean weather maybe? sure she is the weather mare but she got it when she was going fast. Rainbow lightning bolt... hmm fast

ok so he cutie mark means she is fast I guess.. you can't get more abstract that that. Its like twilights a starburst means she is good at magic. A rainbow lightning bolt means she is very fast.

3211987
No, it’s not about the meaning of the cutie mark but the visual style. Rainbow’s cutie mark does mean that she is fast, (at least in my book that’s what it stands for,) but it is still an actual thing: lightning. Twilight’s is an abstract version of a star or starburst, not an actual thing. Sorry about the confusion.

3212133 aww i could only hope. that and I kinda thought it would be kinda comedic that twilight finds out she fell in love with someone with the same disorder.

Comment posted by Tarlek deleted Sep 20th, 2013

Twilight is diagnosed with a made up mental illness that makes sense.:pinkiegasp:
I like this.:pinkiehappy:

She almost seemed Bipolar in this one. Happy, to panicked, then happy, then mad, then happy again, then shocked, back to happy, then panick once more. Holy rainbow of emotion!

3328535 I apologize in advance if what I say is offensive to anyone who suffers from a Bipolar disorder, but isn't it a rapid swing from one mood to the other? I never got that sort of feeling from this chapter, I read it as "She's happy overall, but other things have come up to make her change her demeanor, while remaining happy, overall", and not "She goes from "genuinely happy" to "genuinely mad" in a rapid swing, for example.

Anywho, I do like the chapters between Twilight and her Therapist, it's not a bad way to get into her head without taking things from her perspective, which I think is the overall theme of the story, a study of how Twilight and her condition affects those around her. I thought Rainbow was totally sweet in the previous chapter, even if I don't think she quite knows what she's gotten herself into. It would be interesting to see how she handles Twilight having a relapse.

If I had anything to criticize about this chapter in particular (I couldn't say for any other chapters, because its been a while since I read them), but the Doctor's dialog felt sort of stiff, and robotic at points in the chapter. I think it has to do with the fact that in places, he doesn't use contractions (I'm, instead of I am, etc), and it sort of flows weird.

Keep writing, this is really interesting so far.

3330464
No offense taken. :twilightsmile:
Anyways, Bipolar disorder doesn’t quite work like the super rapid shifts in mood that you might think. A typical manic or depressive mood last more like three to six months, not a manner of minutes. It takes ultra-ultra rapid cycling to actually get to that point, and even then, it tends to be spread out over the course of the day, not just a few minutes.
The more you know and all that.
And as for the doctor’s speech, I wanted him to come off as a little stiff, but I think I might have overdone it during this chapter. Sorry, and thanks for the heads up.

I'm still enjoying this story. Twi and the Doctor really do make for fun conversations. :twilightsmile:

I happen to like the doctor's stiltedness.
Gives him a formal sort of tone.

Couple typos, but not bad. I'm interested to see where you take this, now that the initial plot is over...mostly.

Oh? A new character? Interesting.

Boy, was I in for a shocker when it said Lyra. Anyways I think that in English grammar it's half an hour not a half hour. :twilightsmile: (If you were writing this in Swedish it would have worked but this is English) Resisting ... the ... urge ... of ... 300 ... reference.

I guess the typos are only to be expected when I finish and post at four in the morning and now that my proofreader has moved away. They should be fixed now.
On a related note, does anyone know where I can find a new proofreader? Is there a group or site or something?

I don't understand. How is "a single large magic burst, surrounded by five smaller such bursts" any less describable than, say, "a large cloud with a tri-coloured lightning bolt emanating from its base"?

Equally confusing is that things like "a treble clef" are easily describable–I just did it–yet correspond to no real existing object. Does Octavia therefore have ACMS? Does Spitfire (a phoenix, but very stylised so one could fairly easily describe her mark as a fireburst or flame instead)? Does Derpy (seven bubbles of varying sizes but who even knows what they're supposed to mean)?

Kudos for the idea, but, so far as cutie-mark-based mental illnesses go, I think CMFIS makes significantly more sense from a logical standpoint.

3453937
I can see where you are coming from, but my reasoning on this is three fold.

First: The point is that all of the other cutie marks have are based on real things or ideas. Even a treble clef immediately imparts some idea of what the pony is like or what their special talent is.

Second: Even a cutie mark like Spitfire’s that is stylized to some degree is still symmetrical and ‘clean,’ if that makes sense. Twilight’s cutie mark kind of stuck out to me as a little ‘messier’ that most ponies’ that we see.

Third, and most importantly: Despite the name, A.C.M.S. is not caused by an abstract cutie mark, but rather the cutie mark is a symptom of A.C.M.S. Kind of like how person feeling down could be indicative of many things. They may have depression, or bipolar disorder, or maybe they just experienced some sort of loss.

Basically, the disorder is called Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome is because that is one of the most obvious symptoms, not because that is the cause.

I hope that clears it up for you. :twilightsmile:

who the fuck was that scrawny prick?! man, if i had been there, i'd have bucked her teeth out. let's see how funny she is then!

3454841

For once, Twilight's social obliviousness created awesome. It must really sting to puff yourself up as somepony's greatest rival ... and find out they don't even remember who you are. Hell, Twilight's probably never heard of that grant, I imagine Celestia bankrolls most of her pet's projects.

It was particularly amusing that her 'rival''s joke - specifically, how lame it was - stuck in Twilight's memory far more than whoever this twit was.

3454877 yeah, but i still would have punched her teeth out.

3454841
if u buck there teeth IN its probably more painful as they would have to "ahem" vacate the body some how

3454901 Precisely! (Let's stop this adventure before it begins :ajbemused: )

3454877
May I suggest you read the story again, I think you missed something.
The crystals she's discussing with Lyra is part of a project for that grant.

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