Rainbow Dash wakes up outside a razed Rainbow Factory, and can't seem to remember anything that happened that morning. Not only does she some how have to unravel the mystery of what happened to the factory, but there might be something far more dangerous dwelling inside her.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting..... I'm getting a Spider-Man/Venom vibe going here
What's with the badly drawn pictures?
2652984 Just trying to add illustrations to the story, I'm sorry if they offended you.
2653265 how can poorly drawn pictures offend me?
there just rubbish and they kinda show laziness 
If you have to show a scene with pictures, it makes your writing look like crap, which it isn't
2653317 I'm not meaning to show laziness or anything of the sort, these picture are just drawings I can bang it in short amount of time, that way I can get the story up faster. And I thank you for letting me know, I mean it. Ive been waiting on someone to give me an honest opinion on my drawings. I will try and get a better program to do them in and make them to where they don't upset the balance of my story. Thanks again
2653317 I also like the idea of a story having illustrations, i love to draw, so while im writing i get to do two things i love at once
2653651 well try to put the pics at the beggining or end of the chapter, becuase then it doesn't jar the reader
2653658 Will do, thanks again for your honesty
Lol
Honest opinion time!
The first two chapters barely gave anything away, and if it wasn't for the fact that I had already downloaded the story to my E-Reader, I would've probably stopped right there.
BUT! then came chapter three and oooh boy, it was awesome! RD turning into a psychopath to destroy everything just because? That could become a very good story and I'm looking forward to it!
To add to the cover image debate... yeah, it is very bad in contrast with the story and it certainly doesn't deserve to get this false first impression. You could probably go ask some artist to make a simple but better recreation of it; some vector stuff or something.
Don't you mean Taco Belle?
that place's meat was more horse than beef
Well, this gets interesting with every chapter I finish reading!
There's only one small request I have: Fix your punctuation. For some reason you put quotations after the comma, instead of after the space. It's not a big deal, but it messes with the reading flow a little.
That's like me shouting out "WHAT THE HAND!"
Should be through
2680667 The "What the hoof", was used in the Canterlot Wedding episode except she said, "Who the hoof."
2681033 but that means "who the foot/hand"
could you at least change it to heck or something that makes sense?
2681040 Sure
That is so un-Fluttershy
Try
"But I don't know if I could fight Rainbow," Fluttershy stated timidly, "She's stronger and faster than me. I would never come close to beating her.."
Fluttershy wouldn't say 'tussle' that's more AJ's thing, plus all that code crap? really? We're you struggling to think of things for her to say?
Oh and that picture at the begining makes RD and Twi look fat....
2707547Fixed
Ah, it's good to have you back! I must admit, I was worried you abandoned this story.
The character transition of Dash could've been a bit more detailed. I mean, for a bunch of chapters she's a heartless monster but gets back to normal only because of Scootaloo?
Well, let's see what the future will bring. Also, no problem about the lack of illustration, if you say you couldn't think of anything. Those are basically not more than a nice bonus anyway. :)
2751895 Sorry, I left out what Rainbow wanted the officer to do for her.
It's fixed now though
Why do you torture us so?
What?
It is that, as in Spider man appeared Venom. That is Venom dash or what? 
2809897 I'm sorry I don't understand the question.
And so this journey concludes, at least for now. Awesome end, although a pretty great cliff hanger. I'm hoping the sequel won't take too long to arrive.
2810498 you don't know who venom is?
he's like SpiderMan but not completely useless
2811061 No, I know who venom is. And after thinking back on it, this story is a lot like that. Whoops.
2811395
lol
LOL
yeah maybe you're right we will keep up to date with the event.
Omg. Last chapter when they tried to give her a life sentence in jail I got reall really upset and yelled out how unfair that was and when Scootaloo lowered it to 10 I was still very upset, but I quickly cooled off. But then when there was the part where they figured out what had caused the explosion in the factory and no pony got punished because it was an accident, I got very, very angry. Because that "accident" made Rainbow go all evil, so wouldn't that be an accident to and Dash would be innocent? She didn't choose to destroy her home, her friends' home, it was that glob's fault. This was just a cliche I found, it just doesn't fit together like it should.
Just my angry thoughts.
This is a good story though.
I was angry last two chapters for Rainbow going to jail that long. So if Scootaloo's alright, if she doesn't go to jail, I will hunt you down and have a little chat with you! The think that's contaminating Scootaloo, had the same hold on Rainbow Dash so celestia be darned if Scoots is found innocent then I will be mad!
Sorry for my anger message I swear I will not find out where you live, it's just my message.
5642769 Its alright, I tried writing a sequel to this story long ago called Army of Shadows, but canceled it. Still, if you liked this one, you can that one out if you want (what's written of it anyways).
5643040 I'm good. I'm still kinda upset that this didn't make ant sense. The way Dash went to jail even though everone knew she was under control and Twi brought it up too.
5643051 OK, sorry it upset you. I just felt that the whole "I wasn't in control, so let's excuse all the damage that is done and live happily ever after" thing had been done to death.
5643070 Yeah I guess. Sorry for my rambling I guess I just don't know how to handle my feels espicially when my favourite character gets thrown in jail like that. I mean I loved the action of it, I did honest and that's why it's in my favourites. But I put thumbs down . . . . Now if Dash was doing this on perpose I could understand the whole 10 years in jail thing.
I'm sorry, if you kinda hate me and my rambling right now I just . . . . Nevermind I'll be quiet know.
5643080 I don't hate you, I'm glad for your feedback, I really appreciate it.
5643132 Oh good! That's a relief!
Down vote says it all. Can't believe there are those that think this is worthy fiction.