• Member Since 17th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 7th, 2022

Chrissie Hynde


T

Celestia, of all ponies, actually has it harder than you think. She cannot handle her sister's death. And did you know that there's no good place to get a burrito in Ponyville?

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 25 )

Well, that was pointlessly dark. Even more pointless than the characters claim that life is.

Also, cattle aren't considered lower life forms in MLP. I suppose that's pointless in this, though.

While I enjoy myself a good rant on how much life can suck sometimes, I never think this way.

Still enjoy the story, but maybe tone back how dark some of this is, man.

Or don't. I'll respect your decision either way.

2636286 Pointlessly dark? I didn't think it was so dark actually. I'm just laying out the truth here, not trying to be 2edgie4 the uninitiated
And did you see how they treat them in the show?
---
Oops it double commented.

Comment posted by Chrissie Hynde deleted May 27th, 2013

2636314 Well, maybe the kind treatment I'm thinking of could've just been Pinkie being Pinkie... Still, AJ had a civilized talk with them in "Applebuck Season" after she got them to calm down. They may be a bit lower than ponies, but not as low as you're suggesting.

If you really think what you said in here is the truth, then you need to have a discussion about it with a doctor.

2636314

2edgie4

:facehoof: This is why you'll never be "edgy".

2636491 Yeah. I'm not that smart.

2636597 Where did I comment on your intelligence? Replacing words with numbers like that isn't a spelling error, it's something people used to think was cool. It got old, fast. Even before the advertising companies got a hold of it years ago. You wrote that you weren't trying to be edgy, I'm saying you can't be. "I'm just laying out the truth here", "2edgie4", embedding a video titled "Fuck Authority"?

2636689 If you tell me you have no interest in being an astronaut, will you get angry if I say that is only because you can't become one? I don't know whether you did something to get banned from your country's program or just because you don't pass the physical or emotional requirements, but you will never be able to be an astronaut. But don't worry, it will be okay. (No it won't)

You wrote that you weren't trying to be edgy, I'm saying you can't be.

Right, because you agree with my writing. The obvious is not edgy.

(The 80's were so edgy)

2636735

If you tell me you have no interest in being an astronaut, will you get angry if I say that is only because you can't become one?

No. :pinkiehappy: If you didn't care about what I wrote why have you bothered replying so far? :twilightsmile:

Right, because you agree with my writing.

Impossible, how can I agree with something I'm not paying attention to?

2636797 When I get an obvious reply why not give an obvious reply? What's the point in complaining that someone didn't toss you a steak after you tossed them a piece of rotting spam?

Look, do you have to?

2636904 That comment caught me between some of the things I was doing. Second graders, really? :ajbemused: Now that's one of the oldest cliches on the internet.

The point was, you're complaining that I'm not putting much effort into this, but why should I waste good material on someone who won't bother using good material. You've been predicable, and frankly boring, so far.

2637243 So you're going to continue with the mirroring what I say?
At least your name is accurate.

Did I spot some satire there on how bad fanfiction gets praised by others who don't really know anything about writing? Hah, maybe a bit harsh, but sometimes it's good to remember that we are all just mucking around.
On a more fanfictiony level, I don't really see how this can count as fanfiction. You just wrote that Scootaloo finds a letter written by Rainbow Dash as a facade to make it count as a pony fic. There's nothing wrong with writing a dark a depressive fic with a message like this, but at least try to put some more story in it. This was basically a rant that might have had more place as a blog post.
On the message of the story, I get the idea that Rainbow Dash is afraid to try and create something worthwile. Afraid of being mocked and frustrated with how hard it is for her (or in general) to create good art. And that she has grown bitter by the succes of art that she (perhaps rightly so) sees as inferior and pandering to the lowest common denominator. So she claims that no one is worthy of praise as she holds everyone to some impossible high standard of "good". Since no one reaches this standard, we are all "worms" and she seems to take some pride in the fact that she "knows the truth".
Still, one wonders why, if she believes life and all living things to be worthless and without meaning, she doesn't chose to do something that makes her happy without caring about the opinions and feelings of others.

So first of all, congratulations on getting your story into F/F/T3K already. No seriously, that's impressive.

Second of all, I appreciate what I assume was the driving force behind these stories, even if I'm pretty sure that I was finished with that sometime between the end of high school and falling in love for the first time.

So, these two stories are barely connected, so I'm going to comment on them in turn:

Applejack's Monologue-

First of all, have you ever lived on a farm, even for a minute? Because killing things is routine, but there's a bit more delicacy to it than that, particularly on the farms I've been a part of in the past. In smaller, family farms (of the type Sweet Apple Acres is), killing your livestock is a very big deal- it's a painful, often physically and mentally taxing chore which takes time, energy, and a lot of willpower. Farmers kill pests regularly, but that's a matter of survival- it's kill or watch the farm itself be killed. You are defending what you love. Livestock is generally a bit different- you guard the lives of each animal, preciously, up until the time when you have to kill it. When you do, it's generally done almost ritually. Most farms do not kill their own large animals, preferring instead to send them to a dedicated butcher or slaughterhouse, because the equipment for accomplishing tasks like that isn't on the farm itself. Smaller animals, like chickens, are often killed on property and with a certain degree of decorum. The animals are kept reasonably comfortable up until their last moments, at which time the killing blow is delivered in such a way that the brain experiences at the most a few seconds of pain before disengaging entirely. What follows afterward becomes purely mechanical for a while. The animal has died- it has fulfilled its unspoken end of the agreement between you and it. You didn't kill it out of spite, or because you thought its life wasn't worth living. You killed it because you raised it to die. Whether you agree with this mentality or not, it's important to understand it because I don't think that's what you're bringing across here.

Incidentally all of that was a pile of semi-poetic hogwash to a degree, because while it's accurate, a more pressing note is that Sweet Apple Acres is Sweet Apple Acres. They are an orchard, not a livestock farm. The facilities required to keep cattle and other livestock are extremely specific and tend to be open areas with relatively few trees and a lot of free-growing grass, not land covered in absolute scads of apple trees. I've worked on smaller cattle and hog farms (emphasis on small, by the way, scale makes a lot of difference in how operations are run), and I've noticed that with commercial operations like Sweet Apple Acres in particular it's more likely that you'll branch out into different crops than try to make your land dual-purpose livestock and orchard production.

Tl;Dr, Applejack would not be familiar with the concept of killing 'cattle', which are apparently sentient in Equestria anyway if Applebucking Season has anything to say about it. It's safe to say that if she ever did have to kill something- anything really- it would most likely be one of the family trees which was overcome inside with rot or pests. Sometimes a tree has to be ripped up so something new can grow in its place. That's a part of living as a farmer.

A grief-stricken AJ might question whether life was valid. She might have to put Big Mac out of his misery (though I don't see her doing that unless literally every other option available had been exhausted). But this story seems to take her at her word that life is not worth living and love is not worth having- and that's just, frankly, nihilistic nonsense at worst and out of character at best. AJ may not be the most three-dimensional construct in the word, but farmers tend to be resilient types. You cry your tears in silence, because tomorrow morning, whether you're alive or not, the sun is going to rise and the work is going to need to be done, and if you want to eat- hell, if you want anyone else to eat- you get your ass out there and you do the job, and if you can't see the damn field through your tears then sit down and have a cry, maybe put off fixing the fence another day, god knows you've been letting that sit long enough. But you move on. Because there's something to move on to. There's always something to move on to.

And I don't see that in this story. I don't see AJ the hard-working pragmatist. I see AJ the farmer who has apparently never had to deal with loss before, despite the story itself blatantly referencing the fact that she has had to deal with loss before. Arguably, AJ lost her parents- they sure as hell weren't at the family reunion. This just rings untrue to the character, and as a net result the story becomes less "what would a grief-stricken AJ look like" or "what might drive AJ to the point of despair", but reads more like "I, the author, am either feeling despair or simply want to express frustration, so I am going to transform this character into my mouthpiece so that others will listen".

And if you're fine with either crying or throwing a temper tantrum in a public place, that's cool with me. Just don't expect your work to get praised for it, or acknowledged.

Incidentally if you feel like life is futile, go see a fucking doctor. Seriously. It's not healthy. I'm betting you fall into the latter category though.

A Lesson From Rainbow Dash

My coda for "Applejack's Monologue" applies here as well- Rainbow Dash is clearly not the actual speaker here, it is you, the author, speaking through her- and with absolutely no filtering. If the first, establishing line of the story was not here, there would be nothing to even tangentially connect this to Rainbow Dash in any sort of recognizable way.

Let's talk about Rainbow Dash and how she sounds for a second. I'm not talking about her personality, which you've pretty obviously failed to capture and probably weren't trying to anyway. I'm talking about the way the character speaks. Rainbow Dash is not a fifteen year old who writes emo poetry. When Rainbow Dash is scared, or nervous, or coming apart at the seams, she does her best to pretend she's still got it all together- and when the dam breaks, it breaks.

Imagine, if you would, the following set-up. Scootaloo finds Dash's journal. She begins to leaf through it. We read the first few entries. Dash tries to make some offhand comments about how dumb other people are, or how dumb it was that X happened, or how "dumb" or "lame" or "uncool" her life is. (Most of us would have better descriptors for our days. Rainbow Dash would not. Dash is not a writer, she's an athlete perpetually stuck with a stunted and malformed vocabulary, in which 'awesome' describes everything from free tickets to the Wonderbolts to twenty-percent off your next ice cream).

Note that I said "her" life by the way. AJ's monologue tried to be about AJ. "A Lesson From Rainbow Dash" is so impersonal that it may as well have been titled "A Journal I Stole From An Anonymous Teenager Who Just Got Dumped". And this is its failing throughout.

To return to that example, Scootaloo continues reading. Dash's condemnations begin to grow in scope- from saying 'today' was lame to work was lame to her friends are lame to her friends being downright jerks to how she wishes she had never met them to wishing she had never come near Ponyville in the first place to wishing she could just stop crying because she's Rainbow Dash and she's awesome and Dash never cries ever, and-

Do you get the point? I'm not saying the above would be a good story, but at the very least it would be what you advertised this as- a story about Rainbow Dash, written in the words of Rainbow Dash, not the words of someone who had a really off day and decided to wear Rainbow Dash like a deformed and creepy second skin to tell us all about it.

If you suffer from actual, clinical depression, my sincere apologies and I hope you receive the help you need soon. If I'm correct and this was just a venting exercise, forgive me for treating this with more respect and decorum than you're probably used to fanfiction receiving, but you can probably write better than this and you know it.

2642482

>> ScarletWeather The problem with you is you think you're in the right. That your conditioned thoughts and indoctrinated bullshit is natural. You even used the word healthy.

...I don't even know how to respond to that beyond "you missed the point". Like, severely missed it.

You didn't read a damn thing.

I''m sincerely sorry you fell into the deception of people with more money than you. I imagine it hurts, when you sometimes stop to think about it, that you've dedicated your life to sustaining their luxury. There is a wealth of literature out there that is sounds like you've neglected entirely

I regret to inform you that angst and soul-crushing depression were never strong tenets of Marxism.

And how does that have anything to do with my major criticisms of your story? Inconsistent and non-existent character voices, lack of a focused message, and depression for the sake of being depressing?

The Jungle is a book about the horrors of life forced on the 'proletariat' by a cruel and vicious upper class. "Applejack's Monologue" is a story about how life sucks so don't bother living. I am not seeing the connection.

I had to laugh a bit here. Would you choose to live under the protection(?) of someone under the stipulation that they would guard your life only until they wanted to take it themselves?
Nevermind, given your apparent taste for submission the answer is likely yes.

At some point the difference between animal intelligence and human intelligence has to become clear to you.

But even if you argue against that- and frankly, smarter and more eloquent people than you have argued that the use of animals by humans is fundamentally wrong, and they've had some very compelling things to say on the subject- my point was not that the mentality is correct, my point was that you need to understand how someone who raises animals for food actually thinks about the process. If you don't understand that, when you write for Applejack, your writing will inevitably be horrible because you won't sound like the character. Have you ever tried, even once, to understand other people? To see the world as they see it? If you have, try to write more like that.

I do like the idea that it is possible for this to count as a public tantrum. It does seem to have significantly impacted you

...Do not misunderstand empathy and concern for you, as a writer and individual, with your work 'affecting' me. I left this comment precisely because it didn't.

2642537 Now you're bringing communism into this? Just how many hooks have you swallowed?

At some point the difference between animal intelligence and human intelligence has to become clear to you.

So it's okay because they're stupider than you. You've already indicated you see yourself as more intelligent than me, I guess that means you'd have no problem imprisoning and murdering me.

you need to understand how someone who raises animals for food actually thinks about the process.

So you are trying to legitimize it. First it's 'understanding', then you'll try to get me to condone and then partake. Sorry, but you will not convince me that the abuse and oppression of other life is a valid way of thinking. You can call my writing horrible all you want, but I'm not going to give in and write Applejack as a socialist. That is not how I see the character at all. Guess you will just have to kill me.

Do not misunderstand empathy and concern for you, as a writer and individual

You know what's blatantly obvious? When someone with a corrosive tone and attitude attempts to insert a little remark like this to give themself the appearance of a moral high ground.

2642619

Now you're bringing communism into this? Just how many hooks have you swallowed?

Did it hurt when they surgically removed your ability to detect sarcasm?

So it's okay because they're stupider than you. You've already indicated you see yourself as more intelligent than me, I guess that means you'd have no problem imprisoning and murdering me.

...I'm not sure you understood my meaning at all, and you're being obtuse and obnoxious.

No, I don't see myself as more intelligent than you. I do however see you as being silly. Look at yourself. Really look. I brought these points up to explain how poorly you portrayed the mentality of a livestock farmer. You've turned it into an argument for livestock farming itself. I didn't want to have that debate because it isn't the fucking point. The point is that when you write for someone who isn't you, you should make an actual effort to capture that mentality as they would see it- not as you do. Does it matter which of us is right if we're discussing the quality of your story?

And the fact of the matter is that even if we were debating, it would be blatantly obvious for me to point out that I spent half my time explaining that you don't kill cows on an orchard to begin with, which you've managed to ignore.

So you are trying to legitimize it. First it's 'understanding', then you'll try to get me to condone and then partake. Sorry, but you will not convince me that the abuse and oppression of other life is a valid way of thinking. You can call my writing horrible all you want, but I'm not going to give in and write Applejack as a socialist. That is not how I see the character at all. Guess you will just have to kill me.

First, I don't know what the fuck "socialism" has to do with being an omnivore.

Second, your writing is horrible because your portrayal of the character was inconsistent with both the character as we know her and with itself. If you can't understand that this was the crux of my criticism in the first place, we're done talking.

Third, if you're such a functional nihilist as to express that life is apparently not worth living through these stories, why should you care if a life is abused in the first place?

Before you manage to misinterpret this, I am not saying you should not care when life is abused, I'm saying that giving a fuck about life and the kind of nihilism these stories are about are at odds with each other. Either life intrinsically means something or we can give it meaning and we should care about it, or it doesn't and we can't and it shouldn't. Pick one.

You know what's blatantly obvious? When someone with a corrosive tone and attitude attempts to insert a little remark like this to give themself the appearance of a moral high ground.

Clarifying intent is not claiming moral high ground, dear. I'm a condescending asshole when I want to be, make no mistake. On the other hand, I can admit that and move on from it, and someday I may not be a condescending asshole. You, on the other hand, will always be the maker of The Brown Bunny.

Wait, wrong misguided and poorly executed work of fiction.

2642903

I do however see you as being silly.

Of course you do, because Chrissie is being silly. Think about it, crying about the corruption of the wealthy while partaking in the use of their banking system.

Would you choose to live under the protection(?) of someone under the stipulation that they would guard your life only until they wanted to take it themselves?

Oh noes, that's proof of how horrible society is! Sadly Chrissie doesn't even acknowledge that without society we'd lack any protection beyond our trusty clubs if someone wanted to hurt us. Dear Chrissie partakes in "the corruption" every single day, but that doesn't really matter to him/her. No need to actually do anything because this very silly little hypocrite couldn't care less about the rhetoric they're spouting. Do yourself a favor and listen to Daffy Duck's Rhapsody when you read the next comment, it improves the comedy value.:pinkiehappy:

Sadly Youtube has failed and this is the best version I could find… :fluttercry:

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