Chapter 2: When in Doubt, Ask Around
"How? How, how, HOW?!" Twilight Sparkle moaned. "How could I have been so stupid?"
"Aw, c'mon Twilight, don't be so hard on yourself," Spike offered, but she ignored him, continuing her slow, aimless walk through the streets of Canterlot. It was still relatively early so there were more than a few people moving about the city finishing up their daily work or heading out to one of the city's many taverns, music halls or other nightly entertainment attractions to relax. None of them payed Twilight any mind, as the sight of a wizard and her familiar was not an uncommon one in the city.
"What did I think was going to happen? That I was just going to walk out of the Academy and there'd be some jewel thief holding out the gem? 'Oh no! I've been caught! Here's your mystical artifact back!' UGH!" she ranted, her voice becoming a gruff parody of what she thought the thief would sound like. She took a deep breath and bowed her head. "This is why I always play it safe and think things through; nothing ever works if you don't think it through!"
"Well, what about that plan you mentioned to track it down using magic?"
Twilight shook her head. "I can't track down the Heartstone's magical signature if I don't know it's magical signature, and the only person who might be able to teach it to me is the Princess."
"Ok..." Spike said as he rubbed his chin with one scaly claw. "Aha! What about hiring an Adventurous Guild? They might be able to dig up some leads on the thief!"
"Adventurer's Guild," Twilight corrected, "and they can cost thousands of bits Spike, I don't have that kind of money... even if I did, I don't think hiring professionals to get the Heartstone is quite what the Princess had in mind by giving me this test. I have to do this on my own."
"But we can't do this on our own," Spike protested. "We need someone to help... what we need are some friends!" Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Don't start with that again!" she threatened. "I am perfectly fine the way I am; I do not need friends. Besides, friends aren't going to just appear from thin air and show me how to find the Heartstone."
"Hey lady, did you just say you were lookin' to hire some help?" a voice laden with a thick southern Equestrian accent said. Twilight turned to face the source and beheld a young girl, maybe ten, dressed in brown overalls and a faded yellow shirt. She had flaming red hair topped with a green bow and was looking up at the mage expectantly.
"Um... not really, I was just saying that-"
"If y'all need help my big sis is just the person y'all're lookin' for! She helps all kinds of people all the time, an' she's just as good as them Guild folks, too!" the girl insisted. Twilight started to shake her head.
"Look, I don't know if-"
"Does your sister know anything about finding magical gemstones or tracking down thieves?" Spike asked. The little girl jumped visibly, her eyes going wide at the little creature.
"Holy moley! Your pet lizard can talk?!"
"Hey! I'm a dragon, thank you very much!" he protested.
"Spike is my familiar," Twilight explained. The little girl's eyes seemed to widen even more.
"Does that mean you're one of them wizards?" she asked. "From the Princess' school?"
"That's right," Twilight said with a nod. The child's smile became impossibly broad.
"Well, I dunno 'bout the magical gems, but my sis sure knows how to whup a thief! Follow me!" She darted off down the street, waving for Twilight to follow. A thin smirk snuck onto Spike's face.
"What was that you were saying about friends appearing out of thin air?"
"Hush, lizard."
The redheaded girl led them through a series of winding, twisting streets and back alleyways, and Twilight became increasingly concerned as the clean-swept and well-lit Canterlot she knew gradually gave way to a grittier, more crowded one that she was wholly unfamiliar with. There was trash and worse things littering the ground almost everywhere one looked, and despite the noticeable lack of any Guardsmen the young wizard still felt as though she was being constantly watched.
After almost fifteen minutes of walking, the trio emerged onto a wide street lined with a number of taverns, halfway houses, and at least one of what Twilight could only assume was a brothel if the tawdrily-dressed women in front were any indication. The nightlife buzzed here, and the sounds of music, talking, and laughter echoed from nearly every corner. The girl led them past several establishments before Spike's impatience finally got the better of him.
"Are we there yet?" he whined. "All this walking is tiring me out."
"Who's walking? You've been riding on my shoulder this whole time!" Twilight scoffed. Any further comment from the pair was cut off as the redhead turned to look at them and pointed to a nearby tavern with a heavy oaken door and windows so covered with grime that they were barely transparent. A faded sign hanging over it read The Dancing Dame.
"We're here! This is where my-!"
All three of them jumped as the tavern door suddenly flew open, slamming into the side of the building so hard that one of the terracotta roof tiles shook loose and fell to the street. It struck the ground about the same time as a grizzled man was thrown from the tavern doorway, landing face-first in a pile of what Twilight desperately tried to convince herself was just mud.
"An' stay out!" a woman's voice called from the doorway. "You ain't welcome here anymore Rusty Blade!" She was tall - easily a full hand taller than Twilight herself - had a muscular, fit frame and tanned skin. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and despite the poor lighting Twilight thought that her eyes were a vibrant green. She was dressed in a similar style to the young girl, except that instead of a hair bow the top of her head was graced by a wide-rimmed Stetson hat. She also spoke with the same southern drawl, so Twilight assumed that this was the vaunted 'big sis' they were looking for.
"This is the last straw, girl!" the man said as he struggled to his feet and attempted to wipe his face before stumbling off, shouting back over his shoulder. "You haven't seen the last of me!"
"An' you ain't seen the last of my boot hittin' yer backside, neither!" she shouted after him, drawing a few laughs from the people on the street who had witnessed the exchange. She started to turn back toward the tavern when she spotted the little redheaded girl. "Apple Bloom! What in tarnation are you doin' here? Yer supposed to be back home! What's Big Mac thinkin' lettin' you wander off?"
Apple Bloom grinned sheepishly and idly kicked at a clod of dirt. "Yeah... he might kinda sorta not know that I left. I snuck out while he was takin' a nap." The blonde cowgirl scowled and crossed her arms.
"You know you can't keep runnin' off on yer own like this, AB. Things ain't like they were back home; this city ain't safe at night."
"But I wasn't on my own, Applejack!" Apple Bloom protested, pointing back at Twilight. "I was with this nice lady and her talkin' lizard!"
"I'm a dragon!"
Applejack turned a discerning eye on the mage and her familiar, who both offered small waves and awkward smiles. The cowgirl then motioned her little sister over and bent down so she could speak to her quietly.
"Strollin' around with strangers who you can't trust is exactly what makes it so dangerous here in the city," Applejack whispered.
"I know, I know," Apple Bloom whispered back, "but she's one of them wizard-folk! Straight from the Princess' school and everythin', and she's lookin' to hire some help!"
"Is that why you brought her all the way down here?" Applejack asked. Her sister nodded vigorously, a wide smile on her face. The blonde gave the wizard another thoughtful look before patting Apple Bloom on the head. "Ok, you done good, I'll give ya that, but no more sneakin' off at night, you understand?"
"Okay Sis!" the little girl beamed.
"I'm still workin' for another few hours so I can't take you home..." Applejack mused aloud. She thought for a moment before turning her head and shouting into the tavern. "Hey, Surly!"
"Yeah?" came a loud and very gruff response.
"You owe me for last week! Take my little sister here home and we'll call it even!"
"Forget it!" the bellowing voice replied. "I just got off shift and the show is gonna start soon!"
"I know you just got off, you dolt, that's why I'm askin' you! If you don't then I ain't gonna bail yer backside out the next time you get in over yer head!"
There was a loud grumble followed by the sound of a chair scraping across the floor, and a moment later the doorway was filled with a massive heavyset man with a scraggly black beard who looked every bit as crude and boorish as his name implied. He frowned at Applejack but broke into a wide grin when he spotted her younger sibling.
"Hey Bloomer, I thought you were gonna tell your sister to be nicer to me! What happened?" He reached out and took hold of the girl under her arms, lifting her easily and placing her on his shoulders so she could ride straddling the back of his neck.
"I did tell her! It ain't my fault if you keep doin' stuff to make her mad!" she declared, drawing boisterous laughter from her new mount.
"Oi, now you're starting in on me? No doubt the two of you are related, is there?" Surly continued to laugh as he transported his small charge down the street.
"And make sure you apologize to yer brother for sneakin' out when you get home!" Applejack called after them before turning to face Twilight. "Now then, sorry about the wait Miss..."
"Twilight," the mage said offering her hand, "Twilight Sparkle."
"How'dya do, Miss Twilight?" Applejack said, accept her handshake vigorously. "My name's Applejack; what can I do ya for?"
"Uh, just Twilight is fine," she said, trying in vain to free her now aching arm from the woman's vice-like grip. "I'm trying to track down a thief; your sister said that you might be able to help?"
"I can certainly try. C'mon inside, let's talk about the details someplace a bit more comfortable," she said, guiding Twilight into the tavern.
The deceptively small front of The Dancing Dame gave way to a very wide room with a high ceiling and a bar that stretched nearly the whole length of the back wall. Off to one side was a raised stage and a set of stain-covered, patch-ridden curtains, and the rest of the space was packed with mismatched tables and chairs of all shapes and sizes. It was also filled to the brim with what Twilight would readily classify as 'unsavory characters'. Most looked like thieves or mercenaries, their clothes ragged and dirty and their skin bearing more than a few scars. Some even bore Guild insignias in various places on their clothes or as tattoos, but the wizard did not see any that she recognized. She took some solace at the sight of a lone man at a table in the far corner who appeared to be a Royal Guard; presumably off-duty if the pint in front of him was any indication. Twilight hoped that if things truly got out of hand he would not let that stop him from keeping the peace. Even so, the word 'comfortable' was probably the last one Twilight would use to describe this place.
"Hey, Keg!" Applejack shouted suddenly, causing Twilight to jump. "I'm takin' a break!"
An older man standing behind the bar glanced up when she called out, nodding once before returning his attention to his patrons. Applejack led Twilight to one of the few empty tables left; one that the wizard thankfully noted was somewhat near the off-duty Guardsman but far enough away that he nor anyone else would be able to overhear the two women if they kept their voices low.
"You want your usual, AJ?" a thin waitress with reddish hair asked, already setting down a foaming mug in front of the blonde woman.
"Thank ya kindly, Roseluck."
"Not a problem. Anything for you, honey?"
Twilight just shook her head, and the woman gave them a forced but courteous smile before moving off to attend another table of patrons that were waving her over.
"So I take it you work here?" Twilight asked as Applejack took a long swig.
"Sure as sugar do; yer lookin' at the best bouncer The Dancing Dame ever had," Applejack replied. "Well, for now, anyway. My family's tryin' to rustle up enough money to buy back our farm."
"What happened?" Spike asked as he climbed down from his master's shoulder and sat on the table between them. A dark scowl formed on Applejack's face.
"Couple of no-good thievin' merchants bribed the local magistrate to pull some legal mumbo-jumbo on us... stole the whole dang orchard right out from under our feet; left us without a home and without hardly two bits to our name. Then the snakes go and offer to sell it back to us if we can meet their price." She paused to take another sip of her drink. "So here we are. Me and my brother and my sister came to Canterlot lookin' for work. Big Mac got himself workin' as a blacksmith durin' the day, and I got myself this here night job. Whichever one of us ain't workin' looks after Apple Bloom. Anyway, the money we make ain't all that good, so I take side jobs whenever I can."
"I'm afraid I don't have very much on me," Twilight said as she pulled a small pouch from the folds of her cloak. "I can give you fifty bits now, and I could get you another hundred in a week when the Academy stipends are handed out." Applejack's eyes widened; that much would keep her siblings fed for a month and still have some left over to go toward their orchard fund.
"You got yourself a deal!" the cowgirl declared with a smile as she took another hefty pull on her drink and practically slammed the mug down on the table. "Now, who's this thief y'all're lookin' for?"
"Well, I don't really know for certain," Twilight explained, "but there was a... magical artifact stolen from the Academy earlier today. A rare gem." She was hesitant to disclose just how rare.
Applejack smirked. "Ah, yer thinkin' it might be Gemstone then," she guessed, drawing a nod from Twilight. "Makes sense; seems lately like not a day goes by that you don't hear about some lootin' or stealin' that they blame on him... but trackin' him down ain't gonna be easy. The Guard and the Guilds both have been lookin' for him and they ain't turned up squat. Is there anything else you know that might give us a clue?"
"Well," Twilight bowed her head and put a finger to her chin in thought, "whoever took the gem might be trying to study it. That would require a lot of specialized equipment." Applejack tilted her head to one side and narrowed her eyes.
"What kinda equipment?"
Before Twilight could answer a sharp, rapid banging sound echoed through the tavern, drawing everyone's attention to the stage at the other end of the room where the older man Applejack had called Keg stood holding a metal ladle and a medium sized cooking pot. The patrons quieted as he cleared his throat.
"You lot drunker than skunks yet?!" he shouted, and was met with a wall of cheers as most of the tavern raised their mugs in salute. "Good! Keep drinkin'! I'm Tapped Keg; welcome to The Dancing Dame! We've got our usual show for you tonight, and she's a fair sight prettier than my ugly arse so I'm getting outta the way!" The crowd cheered again as Keg hopped down off the stage shuffled off back towards the bar.
A moment later the room's volume doubled as the curtains were thrown wide and a woman with explosively vibrant and frizzy pink hair, bright blue eyes and a fair complexion leaped out onto the stage. She was dressed like Twilight expected a performer to be: short boots gave way to form-fitting pink leggings a few shades lighter than her hair and a matching pink corset, beneath which she wore a puffy white shirt with billowing sleeves and a frilly neckline. Atop her head rested a wide-brimmed hat with three feathers - two light blue and one yellow - sticking up from the band, but despite all that, the most eye-catching thing about her was her smile. She grinned from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat, and her eyes gleamed with excitement as she swept off her massive hat and bent into a flamboyant bow amid the whistling and hooting of the crowd.
"Who's that?" Twilight asked, shouting a bit to be heard over the ruckus.
"That there's Pinkie Pie; she's The Dancing Dame's in-house entertainer," Applejack informed her. "She's a little weird but she sure does pack 'em in." Up on the stage Pinkie had righted herself and took a deep breath.
"GOOOOD EVENING, FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. The crowd went more or less silent, most of them staring at her or each other with confused glances. Someone off to the side of the room coughed loudly.
"Oops!" Pinkie exclaimed, putting a hand to her mouth in mock embarrassment. "You'll have to excuse me, sometimes I think being in Equestria makes my voice go a little horse!"
Someone up front near the stage burst out laughing so hard that they snorted, quickly followed by the rest of the crowd.
"Ooh, you liked that one, huh?" Pinkie crooned. "Well good, because there's plenty mare where that came from!" The crowd was in stitches at this point, at least one patron tumbling out of his seat with laughter.
"She's a jester?" Spike asked as Pinkie continued her routine. Applejack shrugged and nodded at the same time.
"Sometimes. She does a little bit of everythin'; comedy, singin', dancin', magic tricks... not real magic, mind you, just sleight of hand, that sort of thing... anyway, what kinda magical equipment are we talkin' 'bout here?"
"Oh, a lot of different things," Twilight said as she pulled a book from her pack, leafing through a few pages before stopping to read and summarize. "Inscribing chalk, or rune chalk as it's more commonly called, a large number of focusing crystals since they tend to burn out, material spell components - some of which can be quite rare. Most likely a full set of alchemy instruments and any number of different alchemical ingredients, along with a large quantity of distilled water. Oh! And writing supplies, lots of writing supplies; no good doing research if you don't write down the results, right?"
"Hm," Applejack rubbed her chin in thought for a moment. "Hey Rose!"
"Yeah?" the scarlet-haired waitress from earlier replied as she made her way over to them.
"That new feller you're goin' out with; when he was in here the other day wasn't he goin' on about some cargo job?"
"Grunt Work? Yeah, he made a whole mess of bits just for unloading some shipment or other at the old Guard station on the edge of the Coltshire district, but did he even think to buy me anything nice with the money? No!" Roseluck complained, turning to Twilight. "Isn't that just like a man?"
"Oh," Twilight shifted in her seat, "I um, I wouldn't-"
"Nevermind that; didn't he say it was a bunch of crystals he was movin'? Crates and crates of 'em?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah, yeah he did. He even kept one and showed it to me; the guy had so many Grunty didn't think he'd even miss it," Roseluck confirmed. Applejack looked at Twilight and raised an eyebrow.
"Six sided, with both ends cut and tapered to a point? Colorless and completely flawless?" the wizard described.
"That's it... oh, is he gonna get in trouble?"
Applejack looked back at Twilight and smiled. "Guard station on the edge of the Coltshire district, you say?" she asked. Roseluck nodded as the whistle of another patron drew her back across the room. "I think we may have just found- aw, hell." the cowgirl stopped mid-sentence as she caught sight of something behind Twilight, her expression darkening instantly. The wizard twisted around and followed the other woman's gaze.
Most of the crowd was still focused on the stage where Pinkie Pie had now coupled her continual puns to some kind of juggling act with three pins and what looked like a rubber chicken, but standing near the door was a group of three men all scanning the room, clearly looking for someone in particular. The one in front was the smallest and Twilight thought he looked familiar somehow, but Spike spoke up before she could.
"Applejack, isn't that the guy you-"
"Yeah," the cowgirl sighed before finishing the last of her drink and slamming the mug down on the table. "It looks like Rusty doesn't listen too good. You just sit tight for a minute while I take care of this." She pushed herself up from the table and rolled her neck, the bones inside popping audibly.
"Are you sure?" Twilight asked nervously as she stood and Spike clambered back to his perch on her shoulder. Applejack dismissed her with a wave.
"Shucks, there's only three of 'em. If they really wanted to start some trouble they should've brought..."
She trailed off as Rusty finally spotted her and started making his way through the room. His two cronies followed, and were in turn followed by another half-dozen or so additional men who filed through the door from the street. Not all of them were large but a couple looked like they were even bigger than Surly, and the daggers they were glaring at Applejack made their intentions as clear as day.
"Uh... about that many, actually," the cowgirl finally finished her sentence. The patrons must have recognized the group weaving between their tables, because a few were now scrambling to get out of the way and leaving the bar to escape the impending throw-down even as the rest were still enthralled by Pinkie Pie's continuing performance. If the jester herself noticed what was going on it didn't show; she never stopped smiling, juggling, or joking. In moments the advancing thugs had formed a tight semicircle around the two women and the pseudo-dragon, cutting off their view of the rest of the bar.
"I told you I'd be back, girl," Rusty Blade said. "Nobody says 'no' to my Guild and gets away with it, and nobody disrespects me on my own turf!"
"Pff!" Applejack spat back. "This ain't your turf or anybody else's, and drop all that 'Guild' hooey; y'all ain't a proper Guild and you know it! Yer just a buncha punks tryin' to scare the locals into payin' you for protection that they only need 'cause of you in the first place!"
For a moment Rusty just stared at her, blinking owlishly. He took a step backwards and bent his head as if in thought.
"I'll be dammed," he said. "When you put it like that... she's right boys! All this time we've just been beatin' up on poor folks and takin' what little money they got." He turned to face the rest of his men. "We're just crooks, through and through. We should be ashamed of ourselves!" A small chuckle ran through the collected group. "No, I mean it! We all owe this nice young lady our thanks for finally showing us what despicable characters we are! Now..."
Rusty turned swiftly, drawing a long sword from his belt - which Twilight noted looked polished and well cared-for, despite its owner's name - and pointing it directly at Applejack's face.
"...how should we repay her?" he finished with a sadistic grin as his crew all drew weapons of their own, mostly short daggers and simple clubs. Twilight swallowed hard and tightened her grip on her staff as the ruffians slowly began to move in on them. She knew dozens of defensive and offensive spells, but this would be the first time she'd ever actually used any of them in a fight.
"Twilight," Spike whispered from her shoulder, "this looks pretty serious. Should I-"
"No Spike; not here," she interrupted. "There's too many people that might get hurt."
"Well we're gonna get hurt if we don't do something!" her familiar protested. Twilight swallowed again and took a step back as Applejack did the same. One of the bigger men lunged forward, dagger in hand. There was a loud wooden 'thunk' as something struck the back of the man's head and bounced into the air, spinning end over end. His eyes bulged for a second before they rolled up in their sockets and he pitched forward onto the floor with a loud crash. The whole group looked on curiously as the object that had knocked him out clattered to the ground. Twilight cocked her head at it.
"A juggling pin?"
"Oopsie!" Pinkie Pie's voice shouted from the stage on the other end of the tavern amid the laughter of the crowd. "Sorry about that! That one kinda got away from me!" Another of Rusty's gang, a thin fellow who had been standing next to the downed man, turned to gawk at the performer.
"How'd she-!" he started to say, only to have his sentence interrupted by Applejack's left fist as it impacted the side of his jaw. The force of the blow knocked him clean off his feet and into a table behind him which promptly collapsed, much to the irritation of the four patrons who had been seated there. The cowgirl didn't waste any time or motion, spinning and driving her right elbow into the ribs of the next man in line, who was another of the group's larger members. As he doubled over in pain his face met the open palm of her other hand, and she took a half-step to her opponent's left as her leg hooked behind his. She shoved hard, toppling the man over backwards and into two of his cohorts, sending all three to the ground in a tangled, shouting heap.
Twilight Sparkle stood dumbfounded. It had all happened in the span of a few seconds, but over half the men who had come here looking to start a fight with Applejack were already on the floor, and the rest - including Rusty - suddenly didn't look so sure of themselves. The cowgirl shook out the hand she had punched the first thug with and grinned.
"Who's next?"
Her answer unfortunately came in the form of the four men whose table she had inadvertently destroyed standing and turning to face her, none-too-pleased that she had interrupted their evening. They were joined by another two tables nearby, and only then did it become apparent that they all bore the same Guild insignia: a clenched fist between two stylized, curved horns. Applejack's eyes widened, and for the first time that evening she looked genuinely concerned.
Twilight made a mental note right then and there that starting any kind of trouble in a crowded room filled with rowdy drunks ranked among the worst ideas in history.
"What're we gonna do?" Spike asked.
"Sugarcube, I don't suppose you could magic us outta here?" the cowgirl asked as the mismatched gang now arrayed against them encircled the trio once again.
"Teleportation magic is extremely difficult," Twilight shook her head, "I've never even tried it before!"
"No time like the present!"
Twilight panicked, glancing around for the Royal Guard she has spotted earlier, but saw no sign of him. It was all up to her now. She took a deep breath and focused her energy into her staff, sensing the enchantments respond to her will; holding the flow of her magic steady as she attempted to recall the proper procedure for a short-range teleport spell.
"Twilight, hurry!" Spike whispered in her ear. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore him as she weaved the different magical forces together in her mind, but she knew the spell was going to take her far longer than it would for those men to be upon them. She heard Applejack shout something indistinguishable, and when she felt something smack into her forehead she thought it was all over. Her eyes shot open, her spell lost as she glanced down to see a small round object with a sparkling fuse rolling to a stop at her feet. It exploded into a dense cloud of multicolored smoke a split-second later with muffled 'pop' that was followed by several more from all around the tavern. The smoke made her cough, filled her vision and obscured everything but the closest objects, even preventing her from seeing Applejack.
"BARFIGHT!!" someone yelled, followed by the sound of wood being smashed. The sounds of lopsided, drunken melee combat filled the room from every direction and Twilight was caught right in the middle of it, unable to see and unsure what direction to even turn. She gasped as she felt a hand close over her wrist.
"This way!" a woman's voice whispered in her ear as she was tugged to the side. Still in a state of shock, she allowed herself to be pulled along through the colorful haze.
"What's going on?" Spike asked frantically. "I can't see!"
"Just hang on Spike!" Twilight managed between coughs. The hand guiding her changed direction abruptly several times, usually just in time to skirt around some loud crashing noise or what sounded like two people scuffling. After what seemed like minutes, Twilight spotted the frame of the tavern door as she passed through it to the street outside. The grip on her wrist released and she stumbled a bit, using her staff to steady herself as she gasped and took in breaths of cleaner air.
"Wow-wee! I haven't seen that kind of a ruckus since that time I accidentally told my favorite 'why did the chicken cross the road' joke to a pub full of Griffonkin! Sorry for hitting you with one of the smoke bombs; I didn't mean to, but then again the look on your face when it happened was pretty funny!"
Twilight finally gathered herself to get a good look at the woman who had lead her through the smoke, and she nearly did a double-take.
"Pinkie Pie?!"
The bouncy entertainer's mouthed dropped open, and a moment later she leaped over and stuck her face right up to the wizard's, their noses practically touching.
"Omigosh! How'd you know my name? Are you psychic?!"
"Uh... no, Applejack told me," Twilight said as she tried to regain some of her personal space. "Wait, she's still in there! We have to go back for-"
She was cut off as one of The Dancing Dame's windows exploded outwards in a hail of glass shards and splintered wood, along with the body of what Twilight recognized as one of Rusty Blade's henchmen. The thug crashed into the street and groaned, trying in vain to get up before passing out entirely. A moment later Applejack, looking none the worse for wear, climbed out the window dragging a weakly protesting Rusty over the sill behind her.
"Consarnit, I thought that was the door," the cowgirl complained. "Keg's probably gonna take that outta my pay." She hoisted Rusty up by his shirt so she could stare him in the face. "Now you listen here, ya dirt-faced idjit! You're gonna hock up some of that protection money of yours to fix all these damages, and if I ever catch you skulkin' around here again I'll..." She trailed off when she realized that Rusty couldn't hear her as he too had fallen unconscious, and with a roll of her eyes she released his collar and let him flop to the ground unceremoniously. It was then that she noticed Twilight watching silently from nearby. "What the? How'd you make it out here before-!"
She was cut off as the shrill sound of a Royal Guard's whistle pierced the night air. A moment later a second, and then a third whistle went off in different directions, indicating that at least three groups of guards were likely on their way to break up the fight.
"Uh-oh, we'd better get a move on," the blonde woman said.
"Why?" Twilight asked. "We didn't do anything wrong, the guards are on our side."
"Sugarcube, I don't know what kinda guards y'all're used to dealin' with, but these boys are fixin' to arrest everyone involved in this here brawl," Applejack explained. "They don't take no chances; they'll drag all of us to jail and sort out the rest later. If they do that how are we supposed to find your thief and your missin' thingamabobber?" Twilight smiled honestly for the first time since she'd left the Academy.
"You... you're still willing to help?" she asked.
"Darn tootin', I am!" Applejack replied. "Long as you're still payin', mind you. I gotta feelin' that I might not exactly have a steady job here at the Dame anymore, considerin'. C'mon, let's go!" She started off down the street at a brisk run and Twilight took off after her, Spike desperately clinging to her shoulder to avoid falling off.
"Ooh, ooh! Me too, me too!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she fell into step beside them, catching Applejack off guard.
"Pinkie! Where in the Sam Hill did you come from?"
"Ponyville! Well, wait, no, technically I was born and raised on a rock farm south of Ponyville... but I wasn't really born on the farm; I just lived there growing up, but to be honest I don't really know where I was born, so-"
"Ok, ok! We get it!" Applejack exclaimed. "I ain't the one you gotta convince, Twilight here's the one doin' the hirin' on this here job."
"I'm sorry," the wizard in question frowned, "I already offered all the money I have to Applejack; I can't afford to pay you." The pink-haired woman just laughed and smiled.
"Who said anything about money, silly pants? This is gonna be so much fun!"
Twilight and Applejack exchanged worried and confused glances, but in the end Spike was the only one who thought to ask the truly important question.
"Did you say you grew up on a rock farm?"
"Oh, neato-burrito! You've got a pet lizard that can talk!"
As Twilight and her small crew disappeared down the street, a lone Royal Guard - the same one Twilight had spotted earlier - emerged from the still-smoking Dancing Dame and watched their backs vanish into the night. A moment later a score of guards arrived from the other direction, and the lone figure saluted the Guard Captain at the head of their marching column.
"At ease, Sergeant. Report; what's going on here?"
"Just a barfight, Sir," the guard answered, motioning to the unconscious men on the ground. "These two were thrown from the window a moment ago, but none of the perpetrators have left the premises."
"Excellent," the Captain declared, turning to face his platoon. "Form a twelve-man perimeter; I don't want any of these miscreants getting away! The rest of you are with me!" His troops fell about his orders immediately and with efficiency as he strode right into the tavern followed by eight of his men. None of them even noticed that the lone guard was no longer there.
Instead, he was slipping down a back alley just around the corner from The Dancing Dame. He wove through a few more alleys and back streets effortlessly before coming to a stop at a dead-end. He reached up to the Royal Guard insignia on his armored chest plate and pulled it free, causing his whole body to shimmer in the dim moonlight as the illusions on him faded away. Gone was the chiseled, stoic visage of a Royal Guardsman, now replaced by his true appearance: that of a thin man with a long nose and tattered, dirty clothes befitting a typical street thug.
"Mistress, are you there?" he whispered into the dark. "I have information."
"Oh?" a silky, refined feminine voice spoke from the shadows. "Do tell, Tattle Tail; it's rude to keep a lady waiting, you know... but first, please put your disguise back on, if you don't mind. I didn't just give you that enchanted emblem for the sole purpose of eavesdropping."
Tattle Tail frowned but complied, replacing the insignia and becoming a Royal Guard once again.
"Much better, darling," the accented voice said. "Now, you were saying?"
"One of Celestia's students was at The Dancing Dame. She was looking to hire discrete help in order to track down a rare artifact that was stolen," Tattle said.
"I see... then the rumors about the Heartstone may be true," the unseen woman surmised. "Did this student find the help she sought?" Tattle nodded.
"Yes, and they have a possible lead: the old abandoned Guard station in the Coltshire district."
"Oh, my. Well done my little Tattle Tail," the voice said sultrily. The informant didn't have to see it to know that his mistress was smiling in the darkness. A hefty pouch of coins landed near his feet. "Go and buy yourself something nice - preferably an evening at the bathhouse or some perfume, if you don't mind my saying."
Tattle Tail grabbed up the money and gave a slight bow before hurrying back off into the night. The dead end was still for another few moments until a voluptuous, blue-eyed woman with exquisitely-styled purple hair and wearing a flowing, pristine white gown stepped from the shadows.
"And to think I was going to turn in early," she said with a smile. "This is shaping up to be an excellent night for a little thievery."
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Rarity is gemstone. Sweet. Thought so.
Will we see Spike like the cover image.
One thing before I get into my comment proper: It's Apple Bloom, not Applebloom.
I'm liking where this is going. The setup is the classic Twilight meets all her friends but with many pleasant differences. The original crew are perfectly in character for the situations they're in and entertaining to boot.
My only concern is that Pinkie Pie will go overboard on the "pony" references or break the 4th wall entirely. It's fine in moderation but if she keeps making those types of jokes, it'll get old fast.
I imagined the ruffians as Diamond Dogs and Tattle Tail as a changeling. Just my personal headcanon.
Lovely stuff!
2777161
Maybe,
2777171
Whoop; good call,
Well, if you keep updating that fast, I might have to give you an imaginary cookie
Exellent chapter, by the way.
2785102
Thanks, I'll certainly try to keep up the pace! I've got a busy July/August coming up but cookies are more important!
2786003 Truer words were never spoken.
Freaking awsome.
I can see that a returning gag.
*reads Pinkie´s reaction to Spike talking*
Called it. XD
Also interesting that Spike offers to deal with the situation to fight with a group of thieves. Guess he´s a really awesome familar, no wonder Trixie wanted him so badly. Can´t wait to see his "final form".^^
I think Twi is too expensive for you to buy her for an happy night, AJ. :P
Something like this?
Rarity? A theif? Huh. Must be some sort of Robin Hood thing.
Sorry for taking so long to get to this chapter.
Anyway, some thoughts. I did enjoy the backstories you've got for the various alternate main cast members, instead of going for a 'Twilight meets the others for the millionth time' that tend to stick to the same origin story every single time. It was amusing to see Pinkie running a stand-up routine is a backwater inn, and for Applejack to work at bar, and both fit their character in this setting.
To address the main issue I've got, however... the world, at times, feels off to me. I dunno. It feels a bit too much like something you'd get in a Pratchett novel. Don't get me wrong, I love Pratchett, but at their core his works were a satirization of common fantasy tropes. Hence the over-the-top thieves' guild and the ever-amazing assassins' guild. At times, it feels like the things Pratchett was poking fun at are played entirely seriously. I dunno, it just feels like a relatively generic fantasy world at times. I don't hate it, but given that there's pseudodragons and thieves' guilds and wands and whatnot, a few times it felt more like I was reading a D&D story than a MLP one.