• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen March 16th

thesilentpony


Darkness will always end up out lasting the light.

Comments ( 36 )

Eh, it was kind of... bland.

2632942
any way to spice it up?

Needs more characterisation and context.

and stop over specifying the descriptions. Pace it out or omit parts.

I guess you can practice with my first clop fic. It has the bare bones to teach you.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/96182/la-petite-mort

But chuckward has really mastered how it's done.

2633071
I will read that, it sounds good, but this was a short for me more or less, it was a one off that had a good ending to make me happy, I've never had a story with a happy ending before (probably says something about me personally) also to try a short, I've been writing like 100k books in a week and I wanted a short one just to have one, I don't mind if it was good, just that it had a happy ending

2633089

wish I had that kinda productivity... struggling with my first novel.

Wait, what? The ending has me so confused. So she wanted to get raped? It certainly hits my fetishes but this fic is so confusing...

2633101
I've been there before, if you want help or anything hit me up and I would be happy to

2633139
yes she was trying to get pregnant, I imagine that mlp has a rather lack of male pony, so this is like the early version of getting impregnated

Forced impreg when the female is secretly orchestrating events is a particular fetish of mine. So this is very nice.

All I have to say we need more clopfics with Crystal ponies in them.

2632948
Have you tried pepper? I find it is a rather good spice.

2635991
I wanted the end to be a pleasant surprise at the end, and if I added in her intentions it wouldn't be, and it would be much longer, wanted it short and sweet

outstanding

2662001
I guess I could edit that out, but rape tends to be dangerous, which without the dangerous it just becomes sexy displacement
changed it to make you regret it, hope that suits you better

After reading the description, my first thought was to downvote the story on principle, without reading it. After thinking for a few moments I decided that, while I may not like the content, I have no right to judge something I haven't read.

Not voting one way or another.

3419922
i don't mind if you downvote just for the hell of it, at least half of the down votes are from that, so i take no offense because i enjoy the idea that people dislike it, and it also shows that my writing skills are still good enough to get more upvotes than down
but you should read at least the ending because i didn't mark it dark, it has a nice little ending that i think most would find enjoyable if nothing else

:rainbowderp:...............Uh....what just happened?:rainbowhuh:

3493778
So.........she intentionally let herself be raped?! And had an accomplice who helped her get raped?! How?!?! Why!?!?!

I'm so confused right now, I don't even know what's right anymore!!!:raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair:

3493792
what? never had a woman go to a clinic to get pregnant?

3493808
hubuwa!?!?! THAT'S what that was!?!?!?!?!?!?!:twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops:

3493852
i don't think those clinics exist in MLP so this would be arguably one of the only ways to do it, but it's a nice twist

3493868
...............:rainbowderp:...........:rainbowderp:.................:rainbowderp:
You sir, are without a doubt the greatest troller in the history of trolling, be it intentional or no.:yay::trollestia::moustache:

So... It wasn't technically rape? Just anonymous sex?

4353928
think about who raped who

4355115 ... *head explodes*
My soul:God damn yooouu!

What a :twistnerd:!

“Enjoying a unknown stallion inside you?” He mused as her shining pine mane fell in front of her face slightly. He then thrusted again and she moaned feeling him bottom out against her womb.

an
he mused,
thrust forward again,
moaned,

He pulled out of her mouth as he brimmed on the edge of the bed and quickly put the gag back into her mouth making him.

What do you mean by "brimmed on the edge of the bed?"
bed,
It made him what? Don't leave a sentence completely unfinished.

Extremely short, rather confusing, barely long enough to consider clop, and in a number of places, could be worded and punctuated a lot better. Work of one that is beginning to try writing clop stories, but is vastly more competent than most beginners, aside from the bit about its length. Given that this was written four years ago, it would probably be safe to assume that, at the time, you were a beginner just trying out, to see what it's like.

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