• Published 27th May 2013
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From the Outside In - DarkParable



The tale of a young boy's life, from lowest to highest points.

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Chapter twenty: Back to normal-esq

A couple days had passed since the resident Kitsune had gotten itself a well earned knot atop its head. A knot on its head and a kick straight back to the forest from whence it came delivered by the rather hard hooves of Apple Jack. That poor fur ball was still rubbing his rump and wondering when the hoof shaped dents would go away, they tended to ruin his otherwise shapely posterior...

As far as things went, everything was back to normal, or at least as normal as Ponyville ever gets. I mean really, a place where Cerberus comes running through and is easily bested by a red rubber ball? They sure have a rather lax definition of normal, one that Red had come to share. Dealt with Kitsune, next day wake up with a toothless alligator om nom'in on your face and Pinkie Pie tap dancing on your back... Seems perfectly normal, no? Red bemoaned the fact that it was indeed beginning to seem normal. All that aside, things were peaceful once more, and had been for a full day now. That had to be some kind of record.

Yawning and stretching, Red greeted the dawn of the third day since the nine tailed troubles (or so he called them) as he normally did. With a faint smile followed by a face hoof. Arranged around his bed were ever more little thank you cards, floral arrangements, and gift baskets from the various residents of Ponyville who'd had to deal with that bloody Kitsune.

"Seriously?" he said, his internal voice given an external sound as the sheer ridiculousness of this hit him once again. "I hit a fox in the head with a stick, everything it did just pops like a soap bubble, and now I'm some kinda hero? Good grief... Some times I wonder what these ponies would do if I pulled something like what Twi and her friends do..." He shuddered at that thought... Images of being stuck on a platform and buried under mountains of various praises, both physical and metaphysical, made him feel a bit sick. He really just wanted a simple quiet and peaceful life. Something that seemed a bit like a dream to him every morning he woke up to more of the same.

Shrugging a bit he wandered off into the living room of his little house and plopped down on his couch with a pleased sigh. No gifts in here thank Luna, nothing but a few books, his comfy couch, and Pinkie Pie... Wait a second... That last one didn't belong there.

While he was busy trying to process the fact that he had a face full of pink mane, Pinkie picked that time to scream at the top of her lungs. "HELLO!"

The expected followed, take one startled pegasus, add in a weak spot of the ceiling, and give that pegasus a rather hard head. The result was of course red hanging from his ceiling with his forelegs crossed and a nice view of the bats in his belfry. Not a great thing to have first thing in the morning really.

Pinkie Popped up in his view once more and he simply sighed and gave her a "I don't blame you, I blame physics" look, one which he'd had some small amount of practice in lately.

"Hello Pinkie, what's up?" he asked, doing his best to smile despite the throbbing in his head and the awareness that he was currently playing pony pinata.

"Well, you silly, also a great great great great number of things, soooo many it'd take me all day to list em, so I would if I could, but there's no time today so I won't... We gotta get cha ready for tonight! Rarity said I should come and get you up, you're even better at being strangely literal than I am." rambled Pinkie, sounding a bit serious for once, serious for Pinkie which meant she was currently standing atop Red's head, prancing from hoof to hoof, and bending over to look him in the eye. In complete disregard for the laws of physical reality she'd even somehow twisted her head upside down to talk to him face to face as opposed to mouth to eyeball.

Some time later, after Red had explained to Pinkie just why he was sure she had no bones and had been freed from his new employment as a chandelier, they two of them showed up at Rarity's shop, one covered in a bit of drywalling, or whatever it was ceilings were made of, and the other busily trying to get to the center of a tootsie pop, one Red had shoved in her mouth to keep her from talking for a few seconds while he said hello to Rarity.

"Hello my knight in shining, well... We'l have to see about some armor for you come nightmare night, for now I've got something lovely for you to wear for your date tonight... I'm surprised that Twilight took so long to ask you out darling! Anypony could see she had an interest in you." said Rarity, elegant voice ringing out over the crunching of sucker coming from Pinkie. She'd counted to five licks before her teeth got in the way.

"Uhh... Well... It kinda took us being used as a bed by that fur ball for her to ask..." he replied, blushing a bit at that memory... Some things were just too embarrassing to talk about. Being forced into bed with a rather lovely mare in a provocative position and held there was one of those things. Needless to say that the aforementioned situation had not been shared with the rest of Twilight's and his friends. As far as they knew they'd been literally stuffed into a pair of mattresses and nothing (Twilight had stressed the whole NOTHING thing quite a bit) else had happened aside from a lovely talk leading to her asking Red out on a date to allow them to talk without any form of duress.

"Hmm, well, just let me get you ready and we can talk about that later darling." said Rarity with a knowing little curvature of her lips. Without further ado, she dragged Red inside and went to work. Pinkie was left outside bemoaning the loss of her sucker, but really wondering just why a bandsaw and a hammer on wood were required to make a colt look "nice" for an informal date. She thought Red looked nice anyways, kinda like an atomic fireball dipped in hot sauce, you know... HAWT! It was the whole red coat thing, just made him look like a bunch of cinnamon, and everyone knew cinnamon candy was hot.

On the other end of Ponyville Twilight had her muzzle buried in a book, the title of which wouldn't be the sort she'd normally look twice at. "How to impress your stallion with poise and grace, should that fail here's how to save face." Yep, not her usual fare, not in the least. Spike had commented on that and was currently busy cleaning up the lesser used pre classical biography section of the library because of it.

To say Twilight was kind of nervous would be a bit of an understatement really, this was after all going to be her first date. She wasn't aware that it was Red's as well, not that it would have calmed her down any, that would have just amd eher want things to go well ever more to make it special for somepony who'd gone through a lot of bad things and was still so quiet and kind as Red was... He kind of reminded her of Fluttershy in a way, not given to talking much and always trying to avoid the spotlight despite how often he seemed to earn it. Saving Rarity from Diamond Dogs, saving the whole town from being used as puppet by something almost as insanely weird as Pinkie Pie was with powers fit to make Discord applaud. Yep, he deserved a medal really in her opinion, something a bit more than a silvery staff.

She considered writing the princess about that, curious as could be as to just how it had knocked out something like that Kitsune with a light tap where she couldn't detect any magic from it whatsoever. As far as she could tell it was just a bit of a stick... Funnily enough that seemed to fit the image she had of Red, what you say was what you got. A polite, kind, and slightly odd stallion.

Shrugging she buried herself in her book once more, oblivious to the fact that Red was currently feeling less polite and more cramped. Though when one is shoved into a dashing and princely outfit designed to be slightly form fitting and you had wings that had missed the holes cut for them the first time what did one expect? Claustrophobia of the flight enabling appendages would be the proper answer of course.

Author's Note:

Next time, the date and a few jokes... Also Pinkie in a cake, don't ask me why... Blame her, she's just like that... No there will not be a bikini involved, just pinkie in a cake... Good grief, I honestly don't know how I share headspace with that mare someti- OOF!

Pinkie here, just sayin' hi and stuphs... Ya know, that fourth wall thing is kinda pointless really, it's really no impediment at all when one has courage, determination, and a little bit of a whole lot of sugar in their diet... It also helps to be tap-hoofing it on Parable's brain here, kinda squishy though... Hope everypony enjoys the chapter. Remember to smile because Pinkie is watching you.... FOREVER~

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