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"I don't know..."

Remember that feeling when you were afraid to fall? You were walking along, just barely balancing, about to tumble off the monkey bars on your kindergarten playground. You were riding your bike for the first time in the third grade, and your dad was helping you balance because you didn't have your training wheels this time. You were looking into their eyes for the first time, the summer before ninth grade. You had given up on them, but you then noticed somebody trying to help you back up from where you had fallen.

And this time, when you got back up, you weren't afraid to fall. This was just before tenth grade, and you had your whole life ahead of you, thanks to one beautiful, odd, totally insane girl. She had been your friend since you were in sixth grade, and you were so disappointed when she graduated and left for high school, because that meant a whole year without her. And now that you're back together and causing mischief again, she's the one helping you balance. Too bad she seems to keep trying to pull you off the edge with her.

"Tavi, where the hell are you?" I was so frustrated that I couldn't find her. She was always there. I looked up and down the hallways outside of her class, desperate for a sign of my walking buddy. Did she really not wait for me after class?

"Scratch, language! What have I told you about that," Tavi asked tiredly, walking up behind me. She always used that nickname when she felt just the tiniest bit exasperated by me. So, in other words, she called me that all the time.

See, Vincenza was my real name, but that's a bit old fashioned for me, so I change it to Vinyl. Usually everybody calls me Sachetti, which is my last name. Tavi's the only person allowed to call me Scratch, my stage name. I can't deny her anything. She's just too adorable. I've known her practically forever, since the sixth grade, when we met at a concert through a mutual friend. She really gets the real me. I'd rather be shoveling hay than go watch Shinedown in concert. ( Don't get me wrong, they're amazing.) I'm a country girl at heart, just like her. I only put on this punk facade to escape ridicule.

"I don't know, Tavi. What have you told me? That you find it attractive? Sorry, darling, but I have to let you down easy." Tavi grinned and punched me in the arm, a look of fake disapproval on her face. This was commonplace for us. It's just the way we are. I flirt with her, and she shoots me down every time. She took the news of my bisexuality rather well. Of course, the only reason she's okay with the flirting is because I've explained that I only hit on girls I don't like.

"That's not what I said, and you know it. What am I going to do with you?" She shook her head, and began walking toward the stairs. I followed close behind.

"I'm more interested in what you'd do to me. You, me, at six?" She snorted, and passed through the door at the bottom of the stairs. We walked through the corridor to the band room.

"As fun as that sounds, I'll have to turn you down. I have Noteworthy, and I'm very happy with him. You're a pretty girl, go try someone else." I blushed a little bit at the compliment, and held the door open for her. She smiled when she saw my expression, knowing instinctively that she caused it.

"Aren't you just the cutest thing, Scratchy? Aw, you're even redder now.." It was true, I was blushing fiercely. She giggled and linked her arm through mine, dragging me and my still flustered face into the band room. One look at my face, and my friends burst into fits of laughter. They knew what had happened, because it happens so often. They all knew about my orientation, and they knew what Tavi does to me. It's one thing to flirt with a straight girl, it's another to have her flirt back. It didn't help that she was pretty as all get out.

"So, Tavi, we still on for tonight? I've got my stuff in my instrument cage if you just want to head over now." I was referring to her plan to have me stay the night. I suppose I should say plot, because everyone knew what she'd coerce me into. Probably another night of truth or dare, pillow fights, and forcing makeup and dresses on me. Yay.

"Of course we are. Why wouldn't we be? I wouldn't miss it for the world." I giggled at her enthusiasm, and hearing the decidedly girly sound erupt from my throat, Tavi laughed, too.

"Okay, then. Let me go get my bag and we can leave. I'll be right back, cutie. Please don't pine away in my absence." She snorted again, and I deftly stepped around a hand that wished to bring pain to my shoulder. Trotting away, I swung my hips and stuck my butt out a bit more than necessary, until a certain someone's foot collided rather painfully with it. Wincing, I dropped the act and limped oddly to my trumpet locker in the brass closet. I snatched my small drawstring bag, and walked back out to spot Tavi smirking by her clarinet locker, just outside the closet. I stuck my tongue out at her, and dragged her to her car in the student parking lot.

----------

Many hours and bowls of cheese corn and gummy worms later, we were resting on her bed. She had laid her head over on my shoulder, and I was beginning to consider how awkward it would be if her family saw us. I thought she was asleep, until she spoke.

"This is pretty comfy Scratchy, but I was thinking maybe we should play a game or something, before it gets too late. What do you suggest?" She looked up at me, the lilac abyss glinting with the feeling of excitement. I had an evil thought.

"What about strip poker?" I grinned widely at her, and she kicked my leg, which was snuggled alongside hers.

"No, Scratchy. You're too good for me to win that, and I don't feel like letting you see this chubby old Octy body." I glared at her when she said that.

"Take it back. You are not chubby. That's my job." She smiled at this, and shook her head slowly, used to my fiery temper about self-deprecation. It didn't extend to myself, though, and that's why she was shaking her head. I honestly was a tad chubby, but that just meant there's more to love.

"Okay, fine. Now, how about Truth or Dare?" Oh, that is so cliche.

"How about no. That's tacky. Um, I've got nothing." She cocked her head in the adorable way she has when she's thinking hard.

"We could sit around and tell each other stuff. Secrets, stories, whatever."

"Sounds good to me. You go first." I was curious to see what she'd come up with.

So she told me about her first dog, the one who died last winter. I held her while she cried at the end. She'd had him since she was two. She's sixteen now.

I, in turn, told her about the first boy that ever liked me, way back in second grade. She giggled profusely when I told her how I had climbed a tree to get away from him. She thought it was cute that I thought boys had cooties, because usually it was the other way around at that age.

Eventually, she told me the story of her first kiss, with a boy named Quillan when she was in the eighth grade. When we finished laughing, we sat in silence for a bit, still leaning on each other. I checked the clock on her wall. It read 11:10.

"Hey, get ready to make a wish. Look at the clock." I saw the number change, and I screwed my eyes shut. I hoped upon all hope and lucky things, and sent my wish to the heavens. When I opened my eyes, she was staring expectantly at me.

"What did you wish for?"

"Tavi, you know I can't tell you, or else it won't come true."

She stared at me for a long minute, as if deciding something. Then, she looked at her hands, and did something I never expected.

She kissed me.

I pressed back into the wall, surprised by the sudden onslaught of her cherry chapstick coated lips. My brain screamed at me to run away, but my body took over. My lips pressed back into hers, and I snaked my arms around her waist, pulling her over until she was sitting on my legs, where I could reach her easier. Just as I began deepening the kiss, she pulled back, and reality crashed in on my still fuzzy mind.

There was complete silence, save the sound of two girls gasping for breath. I felt my cheeks burn, and I couldn't meet her eyes. What did I do? What did we do?

I felt cold fingers lift up my chin, and her lavender irises burned into my cerise ones. She stared intently at me, most likely searching my face for a reaction. I gave none, save the heat in my cheeks, and the wild spark in my eye. Desperately, I tried to think of a way to break the overhanging tension. I seized upon the first idea that fought its way through the soupy neurons in my pounding head.

"So. I guess I don't need to tell you the story of my first kiss, huh? That was it. Good for you. Suppose that means I'm not a lip virgin anymore."

Dead silence. Then, she cracked a grin, and we both burst into hysterics, loud enough to surely wake her parents. As we both quieted, there was another heavy, contemplative silence, as we considered the ramifications of what we had done. There were few outcomes, and all involved hurting someone. I'd leave it up to Tavi to choose.

"What do we do now? Where do we go with this? Do we just forget about it, or..." I trailed off, not sure of what to say.

She stared at me, looking for something again. Then, hesitantly, she leaned over and hugged me tightly, burying her head in my neck. "I don't know," was all she could whisper.

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Chapters NextClose "I don't know..."1,868 words The Morning After2,537 words The Blank Page2,072 words Epilogue-The After Years616 words "I don't know..."

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Chapters Next
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"I don't know..."1,868 words
The Morning After2,537 words
The Blank Page2,072 words
Epilogue-The After Years616 words

"I don't know..."