hay:) i'm in luv with mlp ecspecialy the CMC! I <3 rainbow dash and twilight sparkle the most please comment on any of my stories that u read!!!!
Queen Chrysalis is back and stronger than ever, but this time she's after Luna and Celestia. This time, if she wins, more than just Canterlot is at stake, the world as we know it is too.
I wrote this story as a birthday gift to my good friend Dasponi waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy back in May, as you will find out later in the author's comments he also typed this up for me! He is awesome! /)^3^(\
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Good story and a great idea, but it feels a little rushed. Less nonstop action and a little more setting and character description would really help with the flow. Keep writing, I'll be watching this story.
2984320
Thanks a bunch!
I seem to have a tendency of rushing through stories.
I blame my schools, teachers always told me to condense my writing, and that, unfortunately, is stuck in my head.
My friend who went back and typed this up for me is currently collaborating with me on 2-3 more stories. I have so much writing to do!
Once again, thanks for the feedback, and hopefully the next chapter will be even better!
Yeaa this is so aweshome /)^3^(\
2984655
Thanks!
2995466
I gave this story an eyeball C;
2995491
2984624 Yeah, teachers can really give confusing messages in English class, I wish that they would have us write short stories and then tell us what is wrong with our writing and how to fix it, instead of one size fit all answers that can mean a million different things. I can't write stories very well at all, but I've read so many books and work in a library, so I can help fix others people writing and help them find their voice, I just can't help myself. Slightly pathetic.