• Published 24th May 2013
  • 15,006 Views, 659 Comments

Five years of Ice, A thousand years of Flame - Lucky424

I went under for five years waiting for a cure. Something went wrong.

  • ...

Chapter 4: Bite me. Or don't. Well, not in public anyway.

My eyes fluttered open to reveal a dull light above me. I sat up from the bed I was on and started coughing. I had never felt this rough. There was a cup of water in front of me and I remembered that the last cup knocked me out, so I struck out with my arm and hit it away, closing my eyes. I opened them when I heard the cup hit some metal, and turned to see I was in a jail cell. Whatever world I had landed on I had obviously done something wrong. “Ah you are awake. I'm glad to see it.”

What? “Do not worry, I am in your mind.” Again, what? I thought I had actually gone crazy, now I had a voice in my head. All those years of joking that 'the voices made me do it', and here they actually are! “No, you are not crazy. You are very sane. I will show myself to you now.” I caught movement on the other side of the bars, where a large horse stepped forward. Two more approached from the side, and I recognised them from the room I had come to in before. I heard speaking in the strange language, and looked for riders. It was then I saw their mouths moving in time with the speech. Sentient horses? That can talk? Just where am I? The large on turned its gaze back to me. “We are ponies, not horses. And why shouldn't we be able to talk? And you are in Equestria.”

I stared at them for a moment then burst out laughing. “Oh that's good! Talking ponies that live in 'Equestria'! What's next, a cell with cats in somewhere called Felicia? So, when can I wake up?” I looked over the 'ponies', and saw that they had an extreme difference to each other. One was a fucking unicorn, with a blue mane. One was a pink pegasus/unicorn with a tricoloured mane. The one in the centre, the larger one, was the same, but was white with a quad coloured mane. The two hybrids looked female.

“Correct, I am Princess Celestia. This is Princess Cadence and Prince...” “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” The two females in the middle stepped back at my shout, but the male came close to the bars, its horn glowing. “And what the fuck do you want?”

It opened its mouth and spoke, but I still didn't understand it. He scrunched his face up for a moment, clearly thinking, and then he smiled. Two pieces of metal were floated in front of the cell, one dull and on shiny. He got a cloth and started to polish the dull piece, getting a patch of it to the same level of the other piece. A set of armour meant for a pony was floated over. He point one hoof at the metal, then the armour, then finally at himself.

“Your name is... Polished Armour?” “Very close, you got his last name right.” “What did I say about my head?” “I'm sorry, but this is the only way to communicate with you at the moment. Unless you wish to be left alone...” “No, you can stay. So, not polished? Bulled? No, that wouldn't make sense. Shiny? Shiny Armour? Wait, you've got to be kidding me! Shining Armour?” “Correct. Now if I were to let you out, what would happen?” “Uh, well... I'd head back to my ship and leave. It's obvious you've never seen my kind before, so I'll just go look for them.”

There was no reply as they spoke amongst themselves, before 'Shining Armour' nodded and left, leaving me with the females. “It would be easier if you just said mare and stallion, as we are equines after all. But as to your ship... you will not be leaving in it any time soon. It was very severely damaged. I assume you require sustenance. What would you like?”


“You want... what?”

“Steak, medium rare, side of chips, a bit of whisky sauce, and a pint of lager to wash it down with.”

“Okay, so you want some chips and whisky sauce, but what are the other two?”

“Lager? You know, beer? You get cider, bitter, lager. And steak, a big, fat juicy piece of me... fuck. You guys are veggies, aren't you?”

I got no reply as they turned and walked away.

“So then sister, have you discovered what it is yet?” The dining hall was cleared of all servants, leaving the four princesses, the prince, and five other mares present. Luna was sat opposite Celestia, the table going from east to west, the path of the sun and the moon. Where they sat depended on the time of day.

“No, it has taken me this long to study his language. Why they made it so complicated is beyond me.” She carried on eating till the lavender alicorn to her right looked up at her.

“So... it's intelligent? I was wondering if I could... talk with it?”

“My dear Twilight, I know you wish to learn more about everything, but even I can not speak to him in his native tongue yet.”

“I wasn't going to actually talk with him. If his species has achieved space travel, then they must know maths. I was going to see if it was the same as ours.”

Egghead...” She turned her gaze to the pegasus mare on the other side of the table.

“Thank you so much for that Dash. Aren't you even curious?”

“No, that thing can stay where it is for now.” Twilight got up from the table and walked towards the door.

“After what Shiny has told me, it didn't know what it was doing. It needs help, so I'm going to offer my assistance.”

“Princess Sparkle, perhaps you should wait a while.” She stopped walking and turned to Celestia. “He is having his meal now, and I don't think you'll like it.”

“If it's for science, I can handle anything!” She held her head high and trotted out the door.

I heaved another sigh. For the past ten minutes I had been holding the purple mare's mane away from her face as she puked in to a bucket. I had enjoyed most of my meal, but didn't feel like finishing it now. The four guards just stood there staring at nothing. Eventually she pulled back, nodding at me. She smacked her lips a couple of times and gagged. “Hey!” The guards rushed forwards at my shout, and I mimicked having a drink, then pointed to the mare. The spoke to each other a moment and one of them disappeared round a corner, coming back a moment later with a cup full of water. The mare took it and drank the whole thing, before setting the cup down and smiling at me.

Her horn started to glow and a chalkboard with chalk appeared in my cell. I watched as she wrote some symbols on it, but I didn't recognise them at first. I studied them for a few minutes, and then I saw the link. There were fifty two of them in two sets of twenty six! I picked up the chalk and wrote down my alphabet, pushing the board towards the cell bars. She studied it for a few moments, before writing on it. I pulled it back and looked at what was on there.

'Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle.'

Twilight... Sparkle. Yeah, I couldn't hold it together and promptly fell to the floor laughing. At least until I felt my head get wet. I looked above me seeing a cup floating in a purple haze, the to the mare with a clearly unamused look on her face. I picked up the chalk and wrote on the board. I couldn't replicate the symbols, so I wrote in English, and left her to translate it.

'Sorry, my name's Alec Luckes.'

She looked at each letter closely, and then smiled at me, and we seemed to hit it off. We spent the next few hours writing to each other on the board. It wasn't till her head dropped that I noticed the guards were asleep as well. I prodded Twilight awake and wrote on the board.

'Go to bed, Twilight. We'll carry on tomorrow.' She picked up the chalk in her magic and wrote a message back.

'Thank you for your time, I'll try and get you to better accommodation. Good night, Alec.' We smiled at each other and she nodded, turning and heading out of the cells. I laid down on the bunk and nodded at the guards, who trotted outside the cell block, closing the door and shutting the lights off.

I awoke to the sound of the cell doors opening, and rolled over to see a set of bright blue eyes looking at me. They were accompanied by a really big smile. I heard her say something in their language, and continued smiling at me. Slowly it disappeared, and she looked quite upset for some reason. She was yanked back in a haze of purple, stopping in front of Twilight, who had a quick word with the other one, before pushing her out the cell and looking at me. “Sorry about that, Pinkie just likes to be really friendly.” The grin that was on her face slowly disappeared, and she seemed unsure of herself. “Uh... did I say something wrong?”

“You are speaking English.”

“Is that the name of your language?”

“You. Are. Speaking. English.”

“Yes I am, I studied it before I went to sleep last night.”

“And what time was that?”

“About half an hour ago, maybe. It was too important to not study!” I was about to reply when Celestia came trotting in through the door. “Good morning, how are you feeling?”

“Pretty good thanks. That bed is more comfortable than it looks.” "That is good to hear, but I don't want you to spend any longer than you have to down here.” “Well, my new friend here said something about that last night. Well, she wrote it down.” “Did she now? Well, as a princess, she has that authority.” “Twilight's a princess? She never said anything about that.” “It is a fairly recent development, sometimes she forgets.” “Fair enough, thanks for my meal, by the way.” “You are most welcome.”

“WHO THE BUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO!!” Myself and Celestia both stared wide eyed at Twilight. They conversed in their own language, and Twilight kept gesturing at me and the chalkboard still present. They stopped talking and Celestia nodded, turning and leaving the cells, Twilight turning to me with a sigh. “I have been made your personal ambassador, due to the fact I can talk to you without telepathy. You have been invited to breakfast, please follow me.”

As we headed to the dining room, I looked out the windows to look at the gardens, and saw three fillies running around, playing with each other. “Hey Twilight, who are they?” She trotted over next to me and looked out.

“That's Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. You'll more than likely meet them soon. Just... if you hear a high pitched shout, you may want to duck.”


“You'll see.” I looked out the window and saw the three looking up at me. I waved down at them and stepped back in to the hall.

“So, dining room?” Twilight was soon back at my side, nodding to me. Her stomach let out a small rumble.

“Yeah, I'm pretty famished.”

“Can ya see it yet Scoots?”

“Not yet! Wait... there it is! Get ready Sweetie Belle.” The filly walked out in to the middle of the corridor just as Twilight and the strange creature came by. They stopped and looked down at her.

“Morning Sweetie Belle, are you lost in the castle again?”

“No, Princess Sparkle. I just came here to warn you.”

“Warn me about what?”

“The monster that is right next to you!”

“He's not a monster!” Her eyes widened as she heard a shout from behind her.

CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MONSTER CATCHERS, YAY!!!!” She didn't have time to react as Applebloom and Scootaloo came swinging through the air and impacted her companion in the chest, knocking him back. She watched as it happened in slow motion, Sweetie Belle being in the right position to trip him up. He fell backwards over her... and straight down a set of stairs. Once the crashing finished, she rushed down it. Halfway down she heard a shout.

“HELP, GUARDS! GET ME A MEDICAL TEAM NOW!” She got to the bottom to see Cadence, and her friend was on the floor... with a spear in his back. His breathing was laboured, and red was starting to pool on the pristine white marble floor. She heard a commotion on the stairs and turned to see the fillies running down them.

“Did we get him?!” They all stopped with their mouths hanging open upon seeing the results of their efforts. Celestia, Luna and Armour ran up, seeing the problem. Armour floated a cup over to him. Cadence looked up and shook her head.

“Remember what happened when he cut his throat? This will work. Luna, you're the best at healing magic, so here's what you need to do. Use the water summon spell, but infuse it with some healing magic. Don't use too much, otherwise we'll have a situation on our hands.” Luna nodded and her horn glowed yellow, the liquid appearing in the cup.

Cadence rolled him over and took a hold of the cup, floating it towards his mouth. “Drink, it will help.” He opened his mouth and she poured the liquid in. She rolled him back on to his front. Armour took the spear in his mouth and pulled it out. Blood spurted out, but the wound soon closed over. His breathing steadied as he lay there.

They waited for any sign of life, and they got it. Cadence and Armour backed away as far as possible. Then the other ponies heard it. Sniffing. He pushed his arms out and raised himself up. When he raised his head, his eyes had turned yellow. He let out a roar that drew the guards in, but not in time to stop him leaping at Luna. They rolled along the floor in a heap until hitting the wall.

Once they stopped, they saw that he was on top of Luna, his mouth round the back of her neck, gently biting in to it. He growled at the guards that approached, and dragged Luna away from them. His eyes suddenly shifted back to blue, and he looked down to see his mouth around the back of a pony's neck. He instantly let go and scrambled away, his cheeks turning red. “Uh... sorry. I didn't mean to do... whatever I just did.”

Luna rolled over and looked at him, her cheeks tinted pink. “That is quite all right. Perhaps we could talk about this later?”

“Wait, how are you speaking English?”

“I'm not, you are speaking Equestrian.”


“I assisted Twilight with her translations, and I put a cipher into my healing spell, to allow you to communicate with us. Did I overstep my boundaries?”

“No, no, it's fine. So, why did I need a healing spell?”

“You had a spear in your back. Do you not remember?”

“No. Why the fuck did I have a spear in my back?” Twilight came forward with three fillies behind her.

“I believe these three can explain that. Girls?” He looked down at them and they refused to meet his gaze. After a tense silence, one of them spoke up.

“...cutie mark crusader monster catchers, yay?”

Author's Note:

I did have their language as webdings, but when I copied it across, it auto translated it. Bollocks. Quick change there then! Although, it does work better.

Any speculation as to why he attacked Luna instead of any of the others?