The Hermit's Tale

by BlackRoseRaven

Entry Seven

Entry Seven

Over the last few days, I've been reflecting on myself. I have Terra, on the one hand, and on the other I'm sneaking around with Aria to meetings that don't exist and 'business dinners' that are thin covers for... romantic dinners. The thrill and the fun of it... they're both incredible. I feel... exhilarated, and like it's some kind of adventure, and silly.

But late at night, when I'm laying with Terra... I feel terrible, and guilty, and I know that even if I'm keeping this secret for now... the pain she'll feel when we're finally caught... I'll deserve anything she does to me. Yet I don't want to stop, because... this 'game' with Aria makes me forget about all the serious things in life, coats all the pain and the problems of Gymbr and Hel and everything else under this... this sizzling sensation, this escape.

So I'm not just a cowardly paper-pusher, I'm a cowardly paper-pusher who's cheating on his mistress with his aide. Aria and I... well, we never talk much about it, but there is a certain sense that she wants things to be more, maybe wants me to leave Terra, but... I can't do that. I... care about them both and... I have... well. I'm scared.

That's what a lot of my life comes down to, really. Being scared of this or that, and using that as a reason to not do things. And I'm very well aware how badly that reflects on me, thank you. But it's not as if I didn't already feel like a hypocrite every day of my life anyway, trying to create peace in the home of the warrior gods.

I'm thankful these last few days have been quiet: the only major event was Gymbr's return from... wherever he had been. He was... animal, growling at me when he dragged himself in, but... he was also exhausted, and couldn't even bring himself to attack me. Something had drained his energy, and even the corruption leaking out of his body seemed... paler.

I could have... stopped him then. I could have let him die: even when he grabbed me, he was too weak to pull me down, or dig his claws through the fabric of my suit. And even if I'm no warrior, no master of combat, I am powerful enough to defend myself and my powers share many similarities to that of the Blood Seers. The very same blood that Gymbr craves to keep himself stable... I could have turned it from an elixir of strength and inspiration into a poison.

And yet I didn't. For some reason, something told me... not to. The logical choice would have been to poison him, subdue him, kill him, and nearly every instinct in my body howled for it... said it would be logical, it would be revenge, it would simply be a way to prove that I am capable of defending Valhalla...

Instead, I sat there, a tube hooked between us, my blood flowing through it and into the god-thing Gymbr. I look at him silently, thinking of how easy it would be to kill him even after half an hour of transfusion, while Gymbr sits quietly, barely moving, barely... alive. I could probably even do it with my bare hands, not my powers right now: he looks so weak, so broken.

It's not honor, even though that part of me that flows with such honorable blood knows that to fall back on poisoning a sick and weak creature pleading for my help... would be cowardly. Especially when there's the option of simply saying 'no.' And it's not the thought that... Gymbr has promised to act as a servant of Valhalla in the future, or that I even believe that. It's... it's that need to believe in him again, for reasons I don't entirely understand.

He wouldn't speak to me, though. I spent three hours transfusing blood into him, while we sat together in the darkness of his unsettling dungeon-lab. He wouldn't respond to my questions, to... anything I said, and I wasn't willing to pull away. Instead, I studied him, the... ooze, bleeding out of him, the stink of decay that he breathes. He's gotten worse, and... maybe part of this is pity. Because if whatever plan he has in mind doesn't work fast enough, if Hel fails to deliver the soulstone soon... then Gymbr will die. This... this mightiest of gods will simply curl up and die, of an unknown disease, of maybe just... a lack of will to fight any longer.

Eventually Gymbr just... walked away. I left the dungeon shortly after myself, not wanting to test my luck any further, hating that... I think I understand more why he was lashing out in such anger, why he was trying to intimidate me, use such force. Because he was afraid: afraid of exactly what's playing out now, where this thought-omnipotent entity is now too weak to... to do anything but beg for my help, and to slink around in the shadows.

But something must have happened while he was gone. I don't dare imagine what it must have been, though, to have made this creature so... so weak. So broken and miserable...

Aria touches my arm, and I realize how long I must have been thinking for, how long I've been lost in thought. I look up at her with a small smile: we're sitting beside each other, just us, starting the long process of compiling the list of everyone who's failed to pay on time, or submitted forms incorrectly. Some of the corrections will be automatically made, others look like weak attempts to evade taxes, a few seem like honest errors. Boring work, made... made much easier by the presence of my... I don't know what she is. My Aria.

My Aria... I look at her quietly, and she gazes back at me before leaning up and stealing a kiss. She likes to do that, and it always surprises me. Always makes me smile, despite everything that's going on, and she looks at me with warmth before saying gently: “Come on, let's get this done. Then we can go have some... private time. Terra's busy, right?”

That feels like a punch to the gut, and yet at the same time there's a... a thrill. A certain thrill, hard to describe, a tingle that still bites through that horrible feeling in my stomach. But when I answer, it's in a calm, steady voice, not affected either way by the conflict boiling inside me: “She's training the Valkyries, yes, and then she has some one-on-one mentorship with Prestige Luster and Antares Mīrus.”

“Lucky kids.” Aria says softly: she's more relaxed with me these days, more open and verbal and... and I like that. I study her for a moment, and then she blushes and glances up at me before asking impulsively: “Lord Kvasir, what... what am I to you?”

I honestly have no clue how to answer this question, and I'm far from prepared for it. So instead I end up sitting there dumbly for a few minutes before I clear my throat. But I'm saved from answering by an alarm bell going off, which I'm more thankful for than I should be.

But soon, surprise and unreasonable gratitude turn to a cold pit of fear when I hear an amplified voice broadcast through Valhalla: “Level One! Level One!”

“Oh no.” I whisper: Code Level One during an alarm indicates that a force we are not equipped to deal with has broken through Valhalla's gates, and triggers a complete lockdown of the castle. Aria is already in the air, and I'm on my hooves, running for the door: we need to get to the war room and find out what's going on before everything seals closed.

Except no sooner do I throw open the door than I see Hel waiting for us in the hallway... or rather, her grinning ice puppet. It stands with its hands on its hips, looking down at me cheerfully as she says brightly: “Remember that argument we had earlier, honeybutt? Well, I'm about to win it.”

I snarl at her, and Aria leaps in front of me, dropping to a ready position. She's fearless. And all I can do is stand behind her and tremble and ask stupid questions, as if I can somehow come up with a plan that will save us despite it clearly being far too late to do anything about Hel's attack. “What did you do, use your personal guard?”

“Yes! I mean, no. Well. Yes and no.” Hel twiddles her fingers, and I grimace as she grins wider: her eyes are gleaming, her teeth are bared, and the frost wafts around her... eagerly. She looks like a beast, ready and hungry for the kill, bovine features somehow primal and predatory. “Most of them are just some well-trained, well-outfitted Third Tier demons, I'll have you know. But for moral support, I decided to send along Theodore to give you a good talking to. Teddy gets bored staying at home with me all day, after all, it's good for him to have some exercise.”

I stare up at her, and then curse and begin to turn... and Hel grins wider as she flicks a hand down the hallway. Ice spreads over doors and icicles form into hungry teeth that snap shut through the corridor, baring their own frozen grins at me as if just daring me to approach. “Sorry, honeybutt. That way lies madness and all that. You better start running in the opposite direction.”

“Why don't you play fair for once in your miserable life?” Aria snaps, then she steps forwards, glaring up at Hel. “I'm not afraid of you! And Lord Kvasir would be more than a match for you if-”

“If what, if things were fair? Sweetie... life isn't fair.” And with that, Hel reaches down and taps Aria's nose, and a moment later I stumble backwards in shock as the Pegasus is left frozen in a block of ice, completely unable to move. I start to reach forwards, but Hel only quickly punts the cube of frost down the hall towards those frozen teeth.

They open like hungry jaws and swallow frozen Aria whole, and I curse under my breath as I turn a glare to Hel, but she only winks and holds up her wrist, tapping it firmly with a free finger. “You got three minutes, Kvasir. You can waste it telling me what a mean bitch I am, or you can hustle your butt out of here and hope that Teddy doesn't catch up to you right away. Here's a secret: he's got about twenty minutes before he's going to return to Helheim. You can last that long without him catching you in this delightful game of tag, right?”

Hel throws her head back and laughs gleefully, hugging herself, and I curse under my breath before turning and running down the hallway in the only direction I can go. She's herding me: I know she's herding me, but I'm helpless to do anything, and... Mimir's head, did Hel time it on purpose so that I would have the stupid enchanted quill going so she could YESIDID better enjoy humiliating me?

I groan: maybe I can turn it to my advantage, maybe not. I can at least study what I do wrong when I'm eventually caught and defeated... no, I can't think like that!

But my body already hurts and... Third Tier demons? Is she trying to humiliate me? It sounds like she's outfitted and trained them specially to compensate for their usually weaker natures... but then again, if Teddy is here, the demons might just be a distraction while Teddy plows right through all of Valhalla...

I curse and grab at my chest, looking back and forth as I turn down a side hall: yet the doors here are all frozen shut, too, visibly coated with frost and... Hel knows exactly what she's doing. There's nowhere to hide and I can hear people trapped on the other side of the locked doors, but there's no time to stop and try and free them... and what would that do, anyway? Put them in Teddy's way? No, no one can stop Theodore. I doubt any of them can even slow her personal bodyguard down.

I make it through the short hallway and stumble through an ajar door, into a feast hall. There are civilians hiding and a few soldiers standing at the ready, holding position. They look up as I run through the hall, and I grit my teeth: it hurts to order this, but I force myself to say: “Do not engage Hel's demons when they come through here... keep yourselves out of their way and don't fight back unless they attack you first!”

The Knights of Valhalla look startled and... even disappointed. But there's nothing they can do. I know this game has to be played by the rules that Hel just laid out, or else someone is going to get hurt: likely someone who doesn't deserve it, who has nothing to do with this entire mess. I can't let that happen, even if it means I'll be at risk myself.

The doors at the end of the hall are open, and I shove them wide... before looking over my shoulder at the sound of a roar, followed by a tremendous crash. My eyes widen in shock as demons flood inside, charging across the wide feast hall straight for me.

I turn and bolt, even as I reach quickly into my vest and yank out a sharp letter opener. It's no ritual knife, but it will still serve its purpose well enough as I shove my arm against the sharp edge and pull, wincing at that horrible feeling of flesh separating from flesh in a burst of red liquid.

Without slowing, I flick my arm back and forth, leaving splatters of blood over the walls and floor before I glance over my shoulder and shout: “Distort!”

The demons are just entering the hall as the blood is greedily sucked into the surfaces... a moment before the corridor surrounding us seems to groan loudly, then suddenly grows longer, surfaces bulging and twisting obscenely, turning it from a short hall into a funhouse corridor of wild twists and turns and madness. The demons look dumbfounded as they simply stand at the other end of the lengthened hallway, and I smile grimly before turning around and heading to the end of the hall.

I can hear the demons trying to follow, but flopping all over the surfaces and each other as they attempt to stumble their way towards me. I'm not about to stand here and let them catch up, grabbing the doorhandle, and not in the least bit concerned when I find it's locked. Instead, I glance down at the smears of blood left from my dark fingertips, and order quietly: “Open.”

The blood sinks into the handle, which shudders... and then the door swings itself wide, and I hurry inside and slam it closed behind me. It locks itself again automatically as I step forwards into an open courtyard. I look up at the edge of the roof, thinking I can climb the walls, maybe find some kind of safety or escape... but then my eyes drop, take in the rest of my surroundings, and another idea comes to me when my eyes lock on the pond in one corner of the courtyard.

I run over to this and flick my arm a few times, keeping the blood flowing through the slowly-healing wound. I drop down beside the liquid, gritting my teeth as I thrust my bleeding limb into the water, and thick veils of red begin to slowly spread through the liquid as I start to recite a prayer as calmly and quickly as I can.

There's a banging on the door, and then it's smashed apart in a blast like thunder, and I wince as I look sharply up, seeing three demons run through. They're all armored and armed and grinning and excited, their emotions wafting off them like a reek, and I grit my teeth as they drop their guard, probably thinking they have some easy victory at hand.

I am very eager to show them how wrong they are.

I'm no warrior, no master magician, but that doesn't mean all I can do is whimper and cower in fear. While I might not have the strength to generate any massive magical effects myself, when there's elements in the environment, waiting and ready to be commanded...

I shove myself to my feet as I yank the arm buried through the pond's surface upwards... and like a blanketing, living serpent, the water explodes out of the pond, twisting forwards and splashing violently down over the demons hurrying towards me. The force of the wave smashes them backwards before all three of the lower tier demons fall over, steaming and spasming and screaming in agony: the problem for them isn't simply the bloody water, but rather the holy charge I've channeled into said blood and water. To them, it probably feels like they've just been doused in acid.

I flex my soaking wet arm, breathing hard as water and blood drip from it. I begin to look up, knowing these demons aren't going to be able to get up any time soon, thinking I can make my escape to the roof... and then I feel that... that malevolence a moment before Teddy smashes through the too-small doorway and into the courtyard, Hel cackling and riding on his back.

Theodore glares at me: I can feel his eyes on me, even if a visor hides most of his face from view. He's covered in heavy armor, and those plates are sealed and welded to his hide, all-but-impenetrable and further adding to the devastating strength of the... the monster. He's no demon, and he's no god. He's a toy, and a servant, and a monster.

Hel claps wildly above his bulbous, oval-shaped head, then she points at me as he leans forwards on gorilla-like limbs, the goddess shouting: “Catch him, Teddy!”

Theodore roars and leaps at me, and I turn to run for the doorway. I hear the giant smash down behind me, then lunge at my back, and I barely throw myself to the side in time. Fingers like concrete pipes lash past as Teddy stumbles with his own weight, but before I can scramble away, he turns and slaps me with his arm: the momentum alone powering that heavy, tree-trunk limb is enough to send me flying through the air to crash down in the middle of the courtyard on my back, and I curse-

Teddy's hand slams down on my chest, crushing my ribs, pinning me back. His fingers close like a metal trap around my body, and I howl in agony as I'm held in place, my bones feeling like fragile, breaking twigs. I twist back and forth helplessly, and Teddy just bears down as Hel only laughs on his back, before she shifts to sit on one of his huge shoulders and primly crosses her legs, saying cheerfully: “Now stop that, Teddy, be nice to Mr. Seriouscorn. We've done what we've set out to do now, there's no need to really lay on the pain.”

She grins down at me, and I gasp for breath as I look up at her, then grit my teeth. I shudder weakly, unable to move, unable to do more than twitch a little against the ground. I try to find some kind of defiance... and all I summon up is fear, as I whisper: “Let... let me go...”

Hel chides me with a click of her tongue and a waggle of one finger, then she hops easily off Teddy and strides over to me. She steps on the back of Teddy's hand, leaning down and saying pleasantly: “I didn't really hear you all the way from up on top Mount Theodore. That's kind of a double pun if you think about it, by the way, 'cause... you know. He's not just built like a mountain, I was also riding him around like a horsey. Not like you ride horsies though, Kvasir, that's gross.”

She giggles behind her hands like an immature child. I hate her, but I'm more scared of her than anything else right now, and it steals my desire to do anything but whimper a bit as I shift uneasily and breathe hard in and out, glowering up at her. And Hel's just... cheerful, grinning, delighted. Hel knows she's beaten me, and she's savoring that victory... that pathetic, pointless victory, since it's not like I can lie and say I ever stood any real chance against her.

The goddess clucks at me, leaning down and shoving a finger against my nose as she looks disapproving. “Now stop that, Kvasir. I read emotions just like my little boys and girls do, you know, and I'm not impressed. Not impressed at all: I always figured you were the type who would lose with a little grace and dignity, not get all pouty and whiny about it!

“Okay, Teddy, let him up. And go home, you're all dirty and I need tea.” Hel straightens, absently brushing at the armored goliath as Theodore rumbles and straightens. When his hand lifts from my chest, I'm not only able to breathe, but my entire body loosens up, and I feel... strange.

I shift and sit slowly up as Teddy turns and lumbers away... and then I grit my teeth when the giant simply walks through the wall like it's made of paper, smashing it down without a moment's hesitation. I turn my eyes to Hel, feeling... not braver, but perhaps dumber and angrier, and she pastes an innocent look on her features as she shrugs and says reasonably: “It's not my fault that he doesn't have a brain, you know. I tried very hard to conserve that.”

I grimace and pick myself up, brushing at my body before Hel absently snaps her fingers... and I don't want to look over my shoulder at the sound I hear. The crackle of ice, the ripping of flesh, the... rending of bodies. Yet all the same I do, and I regret it immediately, and the sight of demons that have been... crushed, for lack of a better term... by blunt blades of ice. What Hel did to them... I'd rather not focus on it.

My eyes turn back to Hel, and she smiles at me politely, saying kindly: “I was just doing you a favor, sweetiebuns. You didn't want to get that blood on your hands yourself, after all, right? And besides, I have to protect my own interests, keep up appearances... I told 'em all it was a do-or-die mission, and since they didn't 'do,' they had to 'die.'”

There's no point in dignifying that with an answer. Instead, I brush myself off and mutter: “So you won your stupid little gamble. What were the terms of the engagement again?”

Hel only laughs at this, however, shaking her head and smiling at me almost patronizingly. Worse, almost pityingly... I hate pity. Especially from her. “Now don't be like that, Kvasir! So you got a little roughed-up, so I hurt your pretty-titty, so Valhalla needs to hire a repairman or two.” She glances absently at the hole in the wall, rubbing thoughtfully at her chin. “Although, you know. You might want to go and sue your old contractor. That's some pretty shoddy work right there, look at that masonry. It looks like poo.”

My fingers rub slowly at my temples as I breathe slowly in and out, and then Hel glances up and winks at me. “This exercise was all for your benefit, Kvasir. I beat you with one bad boy and a bunch of Third Tier demons. Heck, my previous assault almost beat you, and you know yourself that it was mostly luck that they got keelhauled before they reached your taut rump, honeybutt.”

Hel pauses, then leans forwards, opening her mouth, but she only coos in delight instead of speaking when Terra leaps out of the hall and steps protectively in front of me, the demonic dragon snarling and shivering slightly as her scales stand up like metal barbs, her eyes blazing. “Stay away from Lord Kvasir!”

“Wow, she really does like you. Why are you cheating on her with Aria again?” Hel asks pointedly. This makes my brain grind to a complete halt as I stare blankly at the goddess, while Terra's eyes widen, but both of us remain... frozen, paralyzed... stupid, until Hel finally raises a hand and adds brightly: “Oh, is Aria like diet soda and Terra's a milkshake?”

Terra leans forwards, eyes glowing as she roars furiously and breathes out an inferno of hellish blue fire, and Hel yells wildly as her ice puppet is rapidly melted down until she's only a few chunks of ice sticking out of a bubbling puddle. The demonic dragon breathes hard in and out, then she clenches her jaw before straightening and shaking herself roughly.

She looks over her shoulder at me, glowering, and I look uncomfortably back at her before Terra turns around, leans slowly forwards, and just... looks at me. I've never seen anger directed at me before from those big blue eyes of hers, and it makes me... it makes me feel small, and even more ashamed of myself than I already am.

I open my mouth to try and say something, likely something in my defense... and then Terra's jaw clamp over my head, and I'm left staring down a dragon's gullet. For a moment, there's the absolute terror that comes with having your head locked inside the mouth of any enormous creature that could likely swallow you whole, doubled by the fact this is a dragon, trebled by the fact this is a demonic dragon. But after a few moments, I realize she's not applying any further pressure.

We stay like that for a little while... and then finally, as her hot, strangely-sweet breath floods around my features and makes me a little lightheaded in combination with the heat and the... everything else that's happened, Terra mumbles: “Don't talk right now, Kvasir. I'm saying that as your mistress, but also advising you to stay quiet as your employee. Because I'm concerned for your safety.”

And even now, Terra strives to couch things in terms that... I better understand, that I find... strangely endearing. That somehow makes me feel even more ashamed of myself, as I simply nod as best I can with my head still locked inside her jaws. She holds onto me for a moment longer, then I feel the pressure loosen, and I'm able to draw myself quickly back as she leans away.

We look at each other: our eyes meet, me feeling... ashamed and uncomfortable and like that thing in my gut that was twisting around... like it's broken open like some kind of poisonous egg and spilled acid all throughout my insides. My mouth is dry, and I don't know what to say or do... some part of me is even glad for Terra's directness. Giving me an order, giving me focus.

Terra looks... there's a lot of emotions in her eyes, and most of all, she's just... hurt. There's also some strange sense of shame in her eyes, something that's directed not at me, but at herself, and I can't understand why she'd feel that. After all, this is all my fault...

That poison inside me twitches and twists and just... hurts me. Hurts me, in a way that I know that... yes, I deserve to be hurt. I deserve this and more, but Terra doesn't, and I want to... to tell her that. But I think of what she's already said to me and I think that... the best way I can help her right now is to respect her and acknowledge her and... later, we can get things in order. Or at least I hope we can.

The dragon straightens, nods once to me, then turns around and leaves in silence. Silence that fills the air, makes everything... muffled and loud all at once. I can't describe it: it's like the quiet outside is shoving its way into my skull and filling it up with air and pressure. That is, until the silence is broken by a slow, obnoxious clapping, and I look slowly up to see Hel has reformed and is smiling at me distastefully, her head lowered and her gaze narrow and intent.

I glare at her over my shoulder, and Hel only shrugs at me in response, rubbing her frosty hands together as she says kindly: “This is all your own fault you know, Kvasir. You really just needed to be up front and honest with everyone, but like every politician and bureaucrat, you just couldn't, could you? For shame, shame, shame on you!”

My teeth grind slowly together as I straighten, but then I slowly close my eyes, lowering my head forwards. As I try to calm myself down, my hands reach up to smooth out my suit; as I try to get my scattered thoughts in order and my emotions under control, I tighten my tie and brush out the wrinkles and attempt to make myself presentable, as I always have.

“You're just like a machine, you know that?” My eyes snap open so I can glower at Hel, who pointedly makes several lurching, jagged movements with her arms and body. “A robot. A computer. Something else made of metal... but dammit, you have a heart! A soul, even!”

Hel makes some wild, vapid dramatic gesture and I ask acerbically: “And which of those things did you seek to injure by spouting off about what I've been doing with Aria? Or were you hoping that Terra was going to exact revenge on my body, instead?”

“Oh, shush up about that, you and I both know that it's wrong and bad and not good to go around having sex with other people behind the backs of your 'I-can-have-sex-with-you-but-we'll-never-really-be-equal-partners' partners.” Hel retorts, and I get the distinct feeling she's trying to make me angry. And I dislike how much success she's having with her efforts.

But I don't react. I don't give her that satisfaction as I turn around... only for my escapes to instantly be frozen in ice. I grit my teeth at the solid barrier in the hole in the wall, and the large bars of frost making the door impassable, before I turn around... and find Hel leaning down in my face, asking nonchalantly: “Where's all that trust you have for Gymbr when it comes to Terra and Aria?”

I freeze up. I don't know how to respond, how to react, as my heart clenches in my chest. I look up at her, and Hel smiles slightly, raising her hands on either side of her head before the cow-like head of the puppet revolves itself slowly and completely, even as she continues in that charming voice that fills my mind with... with fear and unease and worry... “You seem to be willing to extend... just about infinite trust to Gymbr. Yet you can't even tell the lady you're banging that you'd like to bang another lady... and let's note that Terra was the one who brought up all the legalities and laws and rules, knowing full well what it means for her. That she's... a side dish. But she was happy as a side dish, wasn't she? What do you think hurts her, that you like to have sex with animals smaller than you as well as animals larger than you or that you just didn't consider her worth your time to tell that in the first place, oh rational Lord Kvasir?

“And then there's Aria. Courageous little Aria, who you knew you were putting at much greater risk than Terra by letting her into your bed, by making it clear how much you wuv her... or at least her body... and yet you haven't trusted her with anything beyond your stupid little-boy code for where and when you should meet up to bump uglies, right?” Hel continues, and I have no words, no response, no reply to her. “Which is pretty stupid, since... you're leaving her out to dry if Gymbr decides to take a liking to the little Pegasus. By which I mean hurt her to hurt you.”

I grit my teeth, and Hel leans back and smiles coldly. “Or, you know, me. I could hurt Aria, too. I did, and you couldn't do anything and furthermore, wouldn't do anything. Sure, grand romantic gestures are stupid, Kvasir, and they don't really help anyone, but I think she might have felt better if you'd at least tried to run to her rescue instead of being a giant butthead and focusing on saving your own hide. Which got torched anyway.”

She snaps her fingers, and blue flames lick up along my back, making me stagger forwards with a hiss of pain before the infuriating, unfairly-strong goddess reaches out and grabs my tie, yanking me into the air by it to hold me at eye level with her bovine features and glittering, suddenly-angry eyes. She and I look at each other for a few moments, as I dangle helplessly in her frozen claws... and then suddenly, she smiles, and instead raises her free hand... a hand now holding a gorgeous, enormous soulstone orb, covered in intricate runes and shaped... perfectly.

It thrums with power, a core of dark light at its heart, and I breathe uneasily before the goddess drops me to my hooves and shoves this precious treasure into my arms like it's nothing more than a basketball. I look up at her like a dumb child as she sniffs disdainfully and says mildly: “Your toy. I hope you choose to do the right thing from here on out, Kvasir, and be the big boy that Valhalla needs. Now look, I ain't saying Gymbr is bad, or telling you who you should cheat on and who you shouldn't. I'm just saying that you have to be aware that all your actions have consequences.”

I look up at her: I want to retort, to be angry, to say something, anything... and all I can manage to do is nod in humiliation at being lectured like a child... and probably deserving it. I shrink my head a bit when she looks at me with contempt in her eyes, but also... that glee that never seems to really leave her. That enjoyment she seems to take in the struggle of everyone besides her, since... it seems that no matter what happens, Hel will always be cozy and safe in her little corner beneath the universe.

“Good boy.” she says, and then she's gone. I hug the soulstone orb closer against my body and shudder once, then clench my eyes tightly shut and lower my head. Everything feels... so heavy. Everything feels so impossible, and nothing seems to make sense, and all I know is that... I feel like I've failed everyone and everything.

I've removed a long, embarrassing portion of whining here. The story will be left to pick up from my dealings with Gymbr, as this is more crucial to understand what has happened here than my whimpering about what a failure I am.

I'm anxious as I follow the steps down into Gymbr's dungeon, the soulstone orb clutched tight against my chest. There are still... all kinds of unpleasant thoughts running around in my mind, but I'm doing my very best to ignore them for now, and only focus on the task at hand. I know that the course of action I'm taking is a dangerous one, after all.

I don't feel... as if I have much of a choice, however. Hel's nasty little speech is running around in my mind, and I don't think that I'm going to be able to depend on Terra to want to protect me for much longer. I doubt she'll even want to be around me for much longer, and if I can't get her to stay in Valhalla, at least... we'll lose a very powerful ally. At least, that's what I keep trying to tell myself, how I keep trying to look at things, in cold, logical terms...

But is that really why I'm carrying this soulstone orb down to give to a god from my deepest, darkest nightmares? Or is it because I'm... that desperate to maintain the one friendship I haven't completely screwed up with my... childishness, as Hel phrased it?

I try to push it out of my mind as I grimace and continue downwards, until I finally reach the bottom floor. There's little light here, and it takes a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the gloom and darkness. Nervousness creeps through me as I breathe slowly in and out, and strange light glows in pulses from the orb held tight in my arms, the rhythmic glow helping light the familiar path I begin down. But it's not the darkness that scares me, it's what the darkness represents: when the lights are off, it means either Gymbr isn't here, or he's in no mood to be disturbed.

All the same, I can't just carry this thing around with me all night, and... well, it's not like anyone desires my presence in the halls of Valhalla right now. The soldiers think I'm a coward, my fellow administrators are shunning me, Aria and Terra are nowhere to be found. It's amazing how in three hours, I've gone from undisputed Lord of Valhalla, to running through the halls for my life, to a broken loser that no one wants to even give the time, let alone take orders from.

I round a corner, and there: down an intersecting hall, sitting silently on a metal chair in front of some kind of gurney, is Gymbr. I stride slowly towards him, and he glances up lethargically as I approach, before the strange creature offers a... a smile. But it's not his usual smile, full of knowing and cunning and strength and intellect. It's a sad sort of expression, as he murmurs: “We have failed you.”

His claw reaches up when I draw close, and strokes slowly along the surface of the orb. Gymbr studies it silently, and the light in his emerald eyes seems to pulse in time with the dark flare throbbing in the sphere, that he so-gently touches. And then, to my surprise, he lets his claw fall away as he looks up at me, and for a moment he is... vulnerable, and open, and honest with me, as he says quietly: “We are sorry, Kvasir. You are a very different Kvasir than the one in our story. We will remember this in the future, and do better to work alongside you.”

I only nod; I don't trust myself to speak right now. I keep saying all the wrong things and using all the wrong words, after all. Gymbr looks at me, then he nods back before shifting and slowly pushing himself out of the chair... and I shiver as I realize... one of his wings is missing. There's just a large, swampy black patch where his wing once was, that reeks of... gasoline and chemicals.

I look at the creature for a few moments, then ask finally, as Gymbr forces himself to stand: “What's wrong with you? Is this...”

“You will be pleased to know that the madness has left us for now, that we are... lucid... but the disease that rampages through us has moved from our mind into our core. We may be too late. We may die.” It states this plainly and calmly, like it's talking about the weather. It's impressive how steady the creature keeps his voice stable... even though in his eyes, I see emotions of fear and turmoil and that must be... alien, to this so-strange thing. “But we wish to try and survive. We wish to do everything in our power to survive. And for this, we shall need your aid.”

“I understand.” I say quietly, and I shift uneasily before nodding once and looking down at the soulstone orb. Then, finally, I look up and ask: “What do you want me to do?”

Gymbr gives me a... a tired smile. That's the only way to describe it, with how listless, how out of energy he looks. There's silence between us for a few awkward moments, and then he says finally: “For now, nothing. We shall take the orb and finish preparations for the ritual. But tomorrow, we will require your assistance.”

I nod a little, and we study each other for a few moments before I finally hold this soulstone sphere of power out. Gymbr reaches up and takes it between his claws, gazing down and studying it as he murmurs: “You must remember something, Kvasir. In the future, we may do things that seem terrible. But we will do them with Valhalla's best interests in mind. No matter what we do, please remember that... we have done our very best to change. We are doing our very best to be... better than we have been in the past. We do not seek redemption, for that shall never be within our grasp; we seek only to do right to assuage the guilt in our soul.”

I shift uneasily, then nod a little and look away. There's an uncomfortable quiet between us before I begin to turn away... and then Gymbr asks abruptly: “How will you fix your own... difficulties?”

I glance over my shoulder in surprise, then sigh a little and shake my head, shifting uncomfortably as I murmur: “I'm not entirely sure. This isn't my area of expertise, after all, Gymbr. Emotions go against logic, they're... complicated and confusing.”

Gymbr nods to me as the creature hugs the orb against its body, and then he looks up and says softly: “We understand greed, Kvasir. We also understand that it is possible to have all things, given time and patience. Do not be like us, and rush for pleasures. Wait, and take your time, and use your gift of the logical mind to understand what you must do to achieve what you desire.”

I smile wryly at this, shaking my head and looking down. “I doubt that Aria or Terra want anything to do with me. Besides, it's petty drama-”

“It is a distraction. A distraction is serious, whether it is large or small. It still preys upon your mind and must be dealt with, not simply downplayed as 'dramatic' and relegated into some back corner of your mind, where it will grow and only prey worse upon you.” Gymbr replies, and I hear a... more feminine edge to its voice. I figure that's the female side of this dark, dual entity gaining dominance for the moment.

I only nod after a moment, and Gymbr seems... pleased that I agreed, at least. I shift a little, then, without any further words, I turn and head quickly out of the dungeons. Even after I turn the corner, I still have the sensation of... of being watched and followed. That it's still monitoring me somehow: and even if Gymbr is weak, I have no doubt that things that would be very difficult for you and me are still the simplest of tricks for it.

I make my way back up the stairs and to the sealed, secret door. I press my hand against it, closing my eyes and bowing my head forwards, and then I nod a little: I don't sense anyone on the other side. With a simple flick of my wrist, locks spin open and the armored door slides aside, letting me step out into the corridor before I sigh and slump my shoulders as the section of wall slides back into place behind me, clanking and clicking as the hidden door quickly seals itself shut.

Then I frown and look up at the sound of hooves approaching. I dread who it is, and my stomach doesn't quite unclench when I see it's Aria heading towards me. She's smiling, but it's not exactly a happy expression... it's another sad smile. Like Gymbr; I wonder, out of nowhere, if ponies seem to feel they always need to smile, no matter what emotion they're feeling.

I put my hands behind my back to hide their fidgeting as I look at her, and she stops a few feet away, looking up at me. We gaze at each other for a few long moments, and then Aria clears her throat before she says finally: “I spoke with Terra.”

An ill feeling twists through my body, and it must show on my face, because Aria looks up at me reassuringly and gestures with a hoof that it's okay. “No, don't worry, Lord Kvasir, nothing... nothing awful happened. It was... difficult, but we talked about things. I... understand a few things a little better now, where we all stand.

“I'm... I'm not really okay with the idea of being some filly on the side.” Aria says quietly, looking up at me, and I nod after a moment, not... really knowing how else I can possibly respond. We only look at each other, and then Aria lowers her head and murmurs: “But I do care about you, and I know what... I did... was stupid. I think... I know... we were both at fault, but it was both of us, who were at fault. Not just you.”

I shift uncomfortably: it's a statement of fact, one I don't think I can argue with. One that, to be entirely honest, I don't want to argue with. I don't want to take the full blame and factually speaking, she was the one who kissed me. And yet for some stupid reason part of me think this is unfair to her. So, finally, I settle for... an awkward sort of compromise: “We both... I should have been... more aware of the situation.”

Aria looks up at me, but she smiles a little after a moment, shaking her head and saying quietly: “I guess if anyone else had said that, I'd be... mad as hell at them, Lord Kvasir. But with you it's different; with you, at least it tells me that you're trying.”

I fidget, my hands squeezing together behind my back: I feel uncomfortable. I try my hardest to keep my features... neutral, but it's hard. Oh, how it's hard.

I want to say something, but I have no idea what would be appropriate, given the situation. More than that, I don't entirely trust myself to speak: I'm afraid my voice is going to give away my emotions, or I'm simply going to stumble into saying something to worsen the awkwardness of the situation. And thankfully, keeping silent seems to be the right choice, as Aria continues: “I don't want to sneak around with you anymore, but... after talking with Terra, and... well, thinking about things myself... I know that... we can't exactly be equal partners, either. I'm your assistant. You're my boss, and King of Valhalla. And there are... lots of rules and laws in the way.

“What we did was stupid. What I did was stupid.” Aria looks up at me with a small smile. “And you know what else is stupid? The law that says I could never... hold a title beside you, or be your wife, but for all intents and purposes I could be everything else. What's really stupid is that I can't handle that thought: it's just a dumb title, but... it would never feel quite right to me. So I know I started things between us and now... I have to end that.”

I'm silent. It... hurts. It makes my heart twist, even if some... cowardly, weak part of me is relieved, too. I breathe slowly in and out, then finally nod hesitantly before I close my eyes and say quietly: “I understand, Aria. I don't want to, but... I think I do all the same. So you'll be taking that job offer as Valkyrie?”

“No. But I don't want to be your aide anymore, either.” Aria hesitates, looking up at me as I tilt my head before she steps forwards and bows her head politely. “I think I deserve... more. I'd like to apply for Terra's old position, because I think she's... she wants to do something else.”

That makes my heart sink as I sigh quietly and look down. For a moment, I study Aria, and then I nod hesitantly before saying finally: “I'll speak to Terra. If she recommends you, then I'll let you try out for the position against the other candidates. I can't guarantee it, though, I need... I need to look at more than personal choice when it comes to teachers for the new Valkyries. I'm sorry.”

I don't know why I said 'I'm sorry.' Well, I am, but it's not... precisely professional in this circumstance. Yet all the same, Aria seems to appreciate the sentiment as she nods to me and murmurs: “Okay. It's silly to say this because it doesn't often work out, but I do want to be friends, too.”

I nod to her, and Aria and I look at each other before she flaps her wings and lifts into the air in front of me, offering her front hoof. I take it and shake it once, then... hold it for a moment longer, that last contact with her, before she pulls it gently back.

We're quiet as we look at one-another, and then Aria smiles a bit to me before she turns and drops back to the ground to walk away. I watch her leave, then sigh quietly and lower my head, putting my hands behind my back as I look silently at the ground.

Drama. Pointless, petty drama, that's all it is, I tell myself. Except my 'petty drama' has just cost me an assistant and possibly lost me the best teacher for my new Valkyries project. My 'petty drama' has drastically impeded productivity and the business of Valhalla. My 'petty drama' has had massive real-world consequences, and all because I didn't want to deal with the real world.

I turn around and... start down the hall, aimless for now. I want to see Terra, but I have the feeling that... she'll find me when she's ready, and it would be better not to antagonize her any further than I already have, purposefully or inadvertently. So instead I decide to focus on myself, and... try and clean up the little bit of this mess that I can.

The only thing I can really think of is that... at least Gymbr and I seem to have reached some awkward... partnership. At least that's a little bit of light amongst all this darkness... even if for some reason, the words he spoke... they leave an uneasy weight in my distracted mind.