• Published 25th May 2013
  • 1,410 Views, 21 Comments

Another One Bites the Dust - ThatMrSomeGuy



Don't you hate when you wake up as a pony? It really ruins your day. Oh, and also the rest of your life. Part of the PonyEarthverse.

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Intro: Now with Less Freak Outs! (Revised)

“-with more and more people turning into ponies. Since nine days ago, bronies, fans of the progressively popular show ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’, have now been turning into ponies taken right out of the television program.”

*tzzzzz*

“-nothing but a bunch of queers. Now, they got those things messing in their heads. You hear that you little ponies? PAPA’s coming for you, and there ain’t nothing you can do but run and hide. So-“

*tzzzzz*

“-for one, think that they’re nothing more than victims. It’s about time we stopped pointing our fingers at the people turned ponies, and look for a real probable problem at hand.”

“Are you saying that the ponies are not responsible for anything that’s going on?"

“Nononononono. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that we should look at the big picture. Obviously, there’s more going on here that meets the eye. People, specifically members of PAPA, are making unjustifiable and presumptuous judgment on the whole situation.”

“I’m certain that no one here supports the anti-pony extremists’ actions Bill. Are you suggesting you’re following what Lauren Faust says about this ‘Discord’?”

“Well, I’m saying maybe. Simply put, we should look into it. These ponies still have human personalities. They hold the same beliefs of the preservation of humanity. Keep in mind; they were human not even a week ago. I even talked to one.”

“You did?”

“Yeah and you know what she said. She said, ‘I hate it’. There, plain and simple. This is coming from a fan. Those who changed don’t necessarily like it either.”

Date: Marsday (9 days following the first ponified)
Time: ?:?? PM (Night)
Location: Pacific Ocean (from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to The Port of Los Angeles, USA)


“Can you turn off that crap? All I hear is pony this and pony that.” My older brother Greg got out of the cruise ship's bathroom shower. “Change it to Adult Swim. I think ‘The Boondocks’ is on now.”

I pulled out the cruise ship’s channel guide for Cartoon Network. I looked around to see that Greg had the remote in his hand. “35.”

*tzzzzz*

“-like a nice propane tank I tell yah what.”

“King of the Hill?” Greg said in disgust. He looked at the clock. “Blegh, 7:30. I hate adjusting time zones.”

Greg threw the remote at his bed in protest. Regardless, he sat down and watched the show. He didn’t hate ‘King of the Hill’. He probably wanted to see something better.

A worldwide phenomenon and a bunch of people going crazy, not a single care here. Despite the world going through the weird changes with the introduction to a cartoon species and magic, no matter how crazy the world gets, there are always people who won’t give a damn about what’s going on. Though it would be lying to say that the pony transformations happening across the globe did not affect the cruise ship I was currently sailing on, it was much less of a mess here than in the real world. This was vacation world. Here, everyone was trying to have a good time. Why shouldn’t they? Everyone here paid top dollar just to have a few nice weeks off. Certainly no one wanted to waste that precious time worrying about people turning into ponies. Of course, as I say this, my brother and me happen to be watching TV and pissing our time away in our cabin. (Hypocrisy at its finest, folks.) Still, I’d pick laziness over panicking about the world outside of vacation.

“Since when have you been an anti-brony Greg?” I asked.

“I’m not," Greg replied. "I like watching stuff that doesn’t show up all the time in the news. I like the news, but all this pony has bored me to death.” He let his back fall onto the bed, hands behind his head as he stargazed at the ceiling. “$10 says you turn into one of them before we get back home.”

“You wish.” I extended my arm to his, prepared to make it an official deal. My family vacation had only two days left. Greg gladly accepted the offer and firmly shook my hand. His eyes locked onto mine. Greg made a ‘you’re going to regret it’ face. I knew it was a crappy scare tactic. In truth, it was working. It also didn’t help that he was the older brother. I was 16. He was 18. That kind of stare could only work with the more intimidating brother. I shamefully admit that that was not me. This was one of those times having a separate room with my older sibling was a further disadvantage. My mom, dad, and little sister were all staying in the room next to it. My family booked one of those optional conjoined room plans.

As we let go, Greg turned off all the lights, including the TV. “Well, good night Michael!” We both knew the sooner we went to bed, the sooner I’d think and panic about the idea of turning into a pony. Normally, he would have pinned me here. I would have no choice but to go to bed thinking about the whole bronies turned pony situation. Thankfully, Greg forgot one very important thing.

“It’s my turn to take a shower.” Too bad it was dark. I really wanted to see the look on Greg’s face forgetting such a major detail. It wasn’t common for him to flop like that. Still, he won the fight. All that changed was the battlefield. Even though I’d much rather think through it all in the shower rather than in bed and Greg wouldn’t be there to see me terrified with thoughts of losing my humanity the very next second, it didn’t change the fact that I would still be thinking about changing into a pony.

To anyone that’s been living under a rock for the past week, bronies have been turning into characters of their favorite little show. Ever since Lauren Faust and Tara Strong magically embodied the biracial princesses of Equestria, that’s all the news has been about. That was the last week the mankind had sanity (if they had any in the first place). Soon following were even more ponies, starting with the mane 6. Also just today emerged a specific anti-pony group called PAPA. It’s an acronym for People Against Ponies and something else that starts with an “A”. Sorry, I don’t pay attention to details. Nor do I need to. All you need to know about those people is that they are the first anti-pony activist group. They actually have the intentions of killing/torturing the people who became ponies. What made these people grow so quickly? I blame the Internet.

As much as I try not to let these recent events affect my daily life, it shows up everywhere, even on a cruise ship. Thankfully, my family booked a two-week trip prior to all this madness. We are on a cruise ship vacation from San Francisco to San Diego to Cabo San Lucas. Then, spend one night at The Port of Los Angeles for resupplies back to San Francisco. While I was having the time of my life, the news of bronies becoming ponies kept crawling back into my mind. It also doesn't ease my tensions knowing that I just watched both seasons for the first time, becoming a brony a week prior to the madness. My brother knew it was getting to me. That explains the little scene he did there to ruin my sleep. Thankfully, he is mature. He is just a prankster most of the time. When he saw me on YouTube watching every episode, he slowly stepped back and acted like nothing happened instead of going straight to the questioning of my sexual preference like most brothers would probably do.

I was relieved to see that since everything started, I have not encountered one pony in person. My vacation started 3 days before the world’s first transformations, so most of the people I ran into were other fellow tourists you see again and again. Still, I certainly prefer that than ponified humans. All in all, the lack of ponies in my life helped my school break experience quite a lot. Only now have I visualized the scenario of actually becoming one overnight.

After finishing my shower, I stretched my arms and clasped my fingers together, staring at them as my imagination turned them into hooves. I move around my left hoof, feeling the alien limb. No fingers must feel weird. With a blink, they're gone. The thought of being a pony sends a shiver down my spine. I quickly got dressed. The less I think about it, the better.

"That's it. I'm gonna kick your ass!"

I knew my brother didn’t have the patience to stay awake while I took a shower. Knowing Greg, he still wanted to see me having some kind of nightmare, or maybe he had a prank awaiting me next morning. Either way, he needed the TV back on for time to pass by.

*tzzzzz*

Now that I walked back in, there was no need for him to watch TV. He knew I heard him turn it off. None of that stopped him from suddenly turning on his side and fake some snoring. As much as I didn’t want to sleep, I did need it. As I placed on the bed sheets, I couldn’t help but look at my hands, thinking I’d never see them again. Every time I got comfortable, I had to look back at my hands. Had…to…look…

“*gasp*” I knew it. Goodbye human parts. Better get used to being a…a… my hands were still there. Yup, I peed my pants for nothing. I kind of deserved this. I instantly wake up, sweat dripping from my forehead, panting from anxiety, all for the rare possibility of waking up one day as a colorful cartoon equine. I must be a mess. I looked at my wristwatch.

Date: Marsday
Time: 11:52 PM
Location: San Pedro (Port of Los Angeles)

I went out to the veranda to get some fresh air. The ship docked for my cabin to get a nice glimpse of some blue-glowy bridge. Well, blue lights were placed all around this bridge to get a nice tone fitting for the night. I kept glaring at it. It helped aid the serenity of a quiet evening. A few minutes of calm deep breathing later, I find myself rejuvenated and soothed with all of my troubles washed away. Then I remembered an unusually cold feeling. I looked down at the source, my pants. Oh yeah. I wetted myself like a 4-year-old. Looks like I'm going to need to change my pants. When I leaned in for the door handle, my eyes no longer felt like functioning. My brain was spinning around inside my head as I quickly faded into unconsciousness.

* * *

You know those moments where you wake up while your brain is rebooting? Often the common questions asked is 'Where am I?'. Well, my brain had completely shut down. I was asking myself even more basic questions such as 'Who am I?'. Given nearly 5 minutes after awakening, I remembered everything that just happened. I was still in the veranda. Judging by the lack of sunlight, it was safe to say that it was still nighttime. I groaned in early waking protest, lifting my neck up a few inches. Wait. And that was when the real terror stuck. I have definitely been awake long enough to remember my own voice. It was painstakingly clear that it did not belong to me. Silently, I brought my arm up to me, my blunt, short, stubby arm. Either I somehow got my forearms painlessly sawed off or I became a pony. Though I never thought I'd say it, I really wished the former were true.

Just take deep breaths Michael, I told myself while taking deep breaths. Whatever you do. Don't scream. Not matter what, for the love of god, don't start-

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE"...Wait...My screams are supposed to have more 'A's in it. I am a freaking guy for...oh no. I look at the dim reflection in the screen door. The proof was all there, the rounded snout, the long curly eyelashes; just the overall appearance was feminine. Then came the stage of denial in the form of repeatedly slamming my head on the floor and glass door. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Following that, the crying. I probably shed enough tears to lift the boat up an inch.

At this point, I was crying for the sake of crying. Yes, my mind was all flooded with thoughts about everything in my life that would never be the same. Yes, I was probably being a drama queen. Thinking back at what happened, I was being an idiot, nothing less. There are the people who could handle situations fairly well and keep it together and then there are people who just fall apart after the situation. While I’m fairly sure 99% of heroes in the movies wouldn’t break after something as simple as this, I was no hero and this was no movie. So, I did what any wimp would do at the moment and cry my heart out.

"Why are you crying pony?"

I turned my head to spot my five-year-old sister. Now she isn't actually familiar to the show, or at least not that I know of. Also, she is too young to understand the situation that has been going on this past week (not like anyone really knows what's been going on). She still had the innocence of youth.

A first sighting of a mythological creature didn't phase her the slightest. I ceased crying very quickly. After all, despite her not knowing my identity, I was still somewhat embarrassed by the fact that I was crying in front of a family member. All we did was stare at each other. I felt I was a mute Disneyworld character, trying to entertain a little kid. And those eyes bulging eyes. She just stared, expecting me to do something. It was, by far, the most awkward moment of my life. All I can do is let out a sheepish smile.

"*Squee*"

Oh...my...God. I just squeed. I wasn't sure whether I should feel happy or panic even more.

"Hahaha." Apparently, this amused her, clapping her hands in joy as if I was some kind of clown. I take that back. Clowns are just plain creepy.

I needed some way to get her off my back. As if on cue, I was saved from someone I least expected.

"Well, would you look at the time," Greg came out of the room. The timing was too impeccable. He had to have known and was waiting for me. Still, I was, at the moment, very grateful. He swept me up with ease and wrapped me on his waist with one arm. "Wave goodbye to Jessica, Ms. Pony."

There's Greg for you. He found a way to save my butt and yet managed to make the situation even more humiliating. I could tell he took in my embarrassed expression, savoring it for the rest of his life. Greg didn't want to wait for my petrified body to wave back. Instead, he grabbed my hoof to do the waving for me. Oddly enough, this satisfied Jessica. There were no questions, no shouts of protests, nothing.

"Goodbye Ms. Pony," she said as I was carried back to my cabin.

Date: Whatever the Calendar-Changing A-hole says it is day (Day 10)
Time: 12:26 AM
Location: San Pedro (Port of Los Angeles)

A thing you need to know about Greg is that he has two distinct personalities. One is his usual immature prankster. The other was a mature and caring elder sibling. Right now, he transitioned from prankster to caring brother. Greg, despite feeding on my discomfort mere seconds ago, calmly placed me back on my bed. "You still need time to take it all in."

He was right. I was still in the acceptance stage where I would think about my new identity. Now that I wasn’t crying like a moron, I was able to speak out the many thoughts in my head. "I have to likely spend the rest of my life as a mare, where not only am I a different species but sex as well. Do I still want to have kids? I'm a horse now for Christ sake. How will I grow up? Can I even graduate? How will I even use the bath-"

*slap*

Greg gave a nice quick swipe to the face to calm me down. "Thanks. I needed that." Greg simply nodded and went to the restroom. I continued to lie there. I'm not sure how, but that slap helped a lot, as if the hand took out all of the troubles I had at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I was still scared, but at least now I was thinking like a decent human being again. I finally got a good glance at myself through the screen door reflection again. My fur was a light green. My mane was wavy with a gold with a little bit of dark gold color scheme with it. Despite my knowledge of the many characters of the show, I cannot remember any pony resembling this one at all. The last thing I wanted to be was someone’s OC. I needed a better look through a mirror. That required me getting out of bed and trying to walk to the front door closet as a quadruped.

Despite the recent rumors that turning into a pony really screws up your walking, for me at least, it wasn't half bad. My new body already had the muscles to walk. It was getting the muscle memory down that was the only challenge. I occasionally tripped, but not bad enough for me to fall face flat on the floor. It was usually me just picking the wrong hoof to lift next and flailing my legs to regain my balance.

The complete unhindered view of me was just plain weird; looking like somebody that was and was not until only a few moments ago, you. The pony mimicked the very bedazzled expression I made. The cartoon proportions were unusual as well. Yes, I am specifically referring to my large eyeballs. Then, I noticed something I have not noticed before. Placed around my neck was a pair of goggles. They reminded me of the kind the Wonderbolts had. That would explain it. I was embodying a Wonderbolt, doing some amazing tricks with my wings and...

Wings. I let the word ring again and again, making sure it burned into my thick skull. I actually have wings. People have dreamed to have them for at least once in their lives. The very thought of flying made my wings expand. No, not like that. I didn't get a wingboner. I just wanted to stretch out the new limbs hanging on my sides. Like the hooves, I practically did it without thinking. I just moved my wings around everywhere, trying to get a look and feel to every angle of my new body. I could have spent hours adjusting taking in the new gestures I could make.

Though I am now female, that didn't really bother me. At least, it didn't bother me at the moment. What do you think matters more, changing your sex organs you don't use often (even though you act like you use them all the time when talking on Xbox Live) or having hooves instead of feet and hands? You don’t think or respect the hands much, but let me tell you something, becoming pretty much any other species really brings to light how much I walked and picked up things for simple day-to-day tasks. Compared to sex change, species change was much more to worry about. I'll get back to you on my troubles of my new sex after I deal with my new equine body.

"Your stuff." Greg held in front of me my carry-on backpack. The zipper was open, revealing that my vacation homework supplies were completely gone to make way for real traveling supplies for New York. Everyone has heard about turned ponies making their way to New York. Lauren Faust herself planned on gathering the Elements of Harmony (along with any other pony) to stand united against Discord. Or maybe there was another reason. I digress. The point is, a bunch of ponies are there, including Faust. So going to NYC was my best option. Greg took his time to prepare me some stuff for my journey across the country: Pop Tarts, Red Bull, my laptop, mom's wallet, toothpaste- wait a second.

"What's mom's wallet doing in here?" I clasped my mouth. This was the first time I spoke without freaking out. I forgot my voice was completely different along with everything else. That was the first thing I said in this form since...ever. Groaning awake from sleep, screaming, and panicking out loud don't count in my book.

Greg didn't pay attention to the new voice. Overall, I was quite surprised Greg had already adjusted to having a new sister. Perhaps it was because he was pleased about kicking me out of the family. He bashfully took that wallet out as a mistake. (So that's why he was so willing to order pizza the night before.) "You never saw that. Got it?" Greg placed something else in but could not see. Curse these stubby short pony legs. He kneeled down to me. I wasn’t sure whether that gesture was an insult or meant to be a serious parting moment. Greg handed me my supplies and hugged me goodbye. Okay, it was serious. I exited through the front door to go to the balcony. It was the best place to start flying away.

On the elevator ride up, I scavenged through my backpack looking for whatever else it was Greg placed in there. I was grabbing everything with my teeth. I might as well get started now, right? It didn't take long to find two folded $5 bills with a note on it: "I never said who pays $10 when it happens". So much feels at once. The nice parting gift made me shed a few (manly) tears. I was ready to take my journey all the way to New York.

Oh, what was I kidding? It’s true that this is probably some kind of dream to finally leave and go on his or her big adventure. I certainly felt that way myself, but only right up until this moment. I had to wait and really think it through to notice how genuinely sad I was going to be now that I was all by myself in the world. Sure, I could probably make the journey jumping from cloud to cloud, but not only does that sound boring, it sounds lonely. I had essentials and got tossed out into beginning anew. It was going to say that going to college was a good analogy, but really, college students had a plan. My plan was to arrive in New York. Even if I made it, then what; somehow everything would be better again? It really felt like I was honorably kicked out of the house.

At this point, I didn’t want to go back either. I was a bit paranoid about what would happen if the cruise ship found a pony there. The pandemic happened too soon for everyone to prove/disprove the idea that it was contagious. My very presence would ruin the entire vibe of the ship, anyways. Everyone would start thinking about the issue at hand instead of vacation. In the end, I’d cause, at the very least, commotion that would make the entire ship’s atmosphere stale.

Though this was likely an exaggeration that I’d cause any major stir on the ship, part of me actually felt like I was in denial, that I wasn’t letting what should happen occur. I was a big believer in fate lending an open hand. Going back would just be denying the events that should be transpired, whether I liked it or not.

Also, very worryingly, part of me wanted to go. As normal as that sounds, I was never an independent person. I was always the one who likes company, even when I certainly didn’t need it. But somehow, now I just didn’t want people around me. I wanted to be alone. My whole being seemed to have a boost of confidence about what’s going on. The more I thought about it, the more I started to believe it was the pony whose body I was borrowing. It started to make sense that she was making me feel this way.

To sum everything up, I had mixed feelings about all this. In the end, I choose the side everything and everyone seemed to be nudging me in. Though I was certain both sides would have a period of regret for not picking the other choice, I cleared my mind to seal my decision.

Once I reached the top, a REALLY drunk couple was hanging out, wine glasses at hand, enjoying the balcony view. As I walked past them, the man leaned his hand in to pet my mane.

"Don't even think about it," I barked with a cold-hearted stare. Getting petted was something I really didn't want to deal with. I shuddered at the thought of being cute to humans. After I walked past them, I snickered as I saw the two pour their wine out of the ship.

There, I was, at the front of the ship. My journey was just a leap away. I placed on the new goggles. No more thinking it through. The adventure starts here and now. Slowly, I opened my wings to the welcoming cool rushing wind. It was so inviting, so wonderful, I had to jump. In retrospect, it was probably a good idea that I did think things through a little. Unfortunately, practicing flight BEFORE I plummet 50 feet into the ocean was not one of them.

Author's Note:

...Does this account for everything I could have done over the Summer? Not in the slightest. But, looking back at my huge gap in the break, I just realized something, I work when I have work to do. Give me something to do, I might just get in my work done and rewrite a poorly looked at chapter. So, I think I can say that I'm getting the gears in my head turning again and pulling together some more writing stuff. Nothing guaranteed, but I feel it's safe to say I'm back, baby. Oh, and don't get used to the fast time progression in my story. I was too liberal with my time. The next day in the story, it's going to go by in a LOT slower of a pace.