wholovespinkiepie
Joined 22nd May, 2013 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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WHAT!?
Ok I'm done...
I don't want to read any further.
What the living fuck? What kind of description is that? WHAT IS LIFE, MAN!? GODDAMNIT!
yay zombies allot of people will lik this
2622166
Please... Stop commenting.
No, you get a story that's lazy as fuck and about as appealing as a ten year old screaming he wants COD.
Usually I give a review and some constructive critism, but I have no idea how to turn a shit covered rock into a gold statue.
2622924
Oh God, lel.
It's just pathetic, not even sure if you watched the show at all.
Troll/10
2622166
Hmm, based on the fact that you messed up everyones genders, I'm going to say that you haven't watched much of this show. In my book, any Zombie-Equestria is a good Zombie-Equestria. But really! It's not that hard to understand that Spike is male and AppleJack is not. Ok, so maybe you have a reason for only gender-bending some of the characters. I have read fics like that and enjoyed them vary much. I could forgive you for this if you had mentioned that you are doing it for a reason. As it is, this makes you look like you've only watched two episodes.
haha, ouch.
dear lunaontheMOON the reason why i genderbended some of the characters is because
1. i need some to change for pairings
2. because i wanted my zombie story to be different from the others
3. last but not least i might not be right in the head
and also for the rest of you go fuck yourselves
I think your story could use some help. Later, if you wish, I could try helping you with small areas, probably things like character description. It seems out of character for Dashie to wear booty shorts seeing as how tight short shorts are a pain to run in.
Edit: reading farther on I must say, your character descriptions do need some desperate work. Are you not aware of how some one who wears a lab coat around school is treated?
Edit: even if this story took place in Texas it would get you suspended at the drop of a hat to have a gun at school. Even a fake gun. Many things can be used to kill the poor man walking funny. You're outside. Discord is a joke- I mean jock. Mayhaps there is a baseball bat handy?
Ok... I'm helping with your story. I have a bit of a zombie arsenal myself ranging from swords, throwing knives, shotguns, ect...
Just a friendly advice... Use capital letters!
It is not so hard to do. Use one after your period, and each time you start a new line.
Like this. Easy as that
Apparently, you get a poorly written fanfiction.
lolnope.
Sorry you felt the need to downvote my comment, but you do not say your own story is good in the freaking description. That's a big no-no, so you deserved to be knocked down a peg
The pacing is horrible, and don't even get me started on the dialouge and how the characters act. I'm not going to dislike this, but it needs a ton of work.
Also, this comment you made.
The butthurt is at MAXIMUM. You are throwing a tushy tantrum. You are ANALLY DEVASTATED.
2640287
Looking for this?
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dear haters,
what you are saying really hurts
so to all you haters I shall give you the spock flip off:
FUCK OFF AND DIE IN A HOLE.
2649549 And when I'm done with dying in a hole, I should finally understand why your story is good? I really rather not find out.
But you know what? If you want us to give you constructive critism, fine.
1. You move way too fast. Hell, I can hardly understand anything, because you glance over every single detail. The world is overrun by zombies? Great, wish I knew how the world looked like. If you want to see how a post-apocalyptic setting is written decent, check this story: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31688/tartarus-high (Even though it isn't great, atleast it's more entertaining than what you wrote down).
2. Because you move so fast, your 'character development' is just dreadful. You hardly try to establish what the characters are feeling, love relationships come out of fucking nowhere and every piece of dialogue feels forced to a point where I wonder how these people live with all that oxygen loss.
3. Your attitude is annoying. We may be dicks, but you show no signs of a decent human being yourself. Don't be a hypocrit. Also, don't say your story is good. I'm glad you like it yourself, but this is a public site, so people are always going to be judging, even the greatest of the greatest.
4. The whole POV thing is really confusing. Going back to Tatarus High, the author kept it one group of characters per chapter. It's easier to follow that way.
5. There are grammar mistakes. Don't ask me to pick them out, I ain't know proofreader/editor. Just look around, I'm sure someone can help you with it.
That's basically all I've got to say. Ooh and this:
2632607 Throwing knives have no place in a zombie arsenal....
2656139 this is my first story so once it's completed i will start a new one after a while i might come back and clean this story up so leave me alone
2686164 You know what? Forget it. I tried to help you by giving you the thing you wanted so badly. But I guess I mistook you for a person who used the right side of their brain.
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i Liked it i found it funny that spike was a girl
I dont unerstand... why all the hate? 
this is awesome spikes a girl and twilight is a guy along with applejack hmmm 10/10
Good job you've made Pinkie a bad ass I'm proud
Ok I think this has great potential but it seems a little rushed though I like how everyones getting their moment to shine even spike. Also GO DISCORDXFLUTTERSHY YAY