After accidentally being sucked into an inter-dimensional mirror, Twilight must navigate her way through the halls of "Rapture High", battling genetically modified "humans" along the way while making use of friendship plasmids.
Will Twilight ever return to Equestria? And who is Andset Ryshimmer?
In this 3nd person cyoa, you must choose which way to go, and what to do, to help Twilight escape "Rapture High"
"Oh rise, Rapture High! We turn our hopes up to the skies! Oh rise, Rapture High! Upon your wings our dreams will fly." -Rapture High Spirit March
(If you ever get in a fight, this is might lend some help!)
Chapters (10)
I honestly do not know how to properly give you feedback on this.
Its too short and sudden from a story standpoint, but it's a CYOA, so I'm hesitant to call it rushed.
I'm not really sure, I could probably tell you why it isnt doing so well though. Generally CYOA's are in second person (Hence choose your own adventure) so having to guide Twilight instead seems a bit painstaking, but then again, I'm not really familiar with this sort of thing.
This makes it really not all that interesting. Another thing is that it isnt finished. Most people wont be waiting for you to finish this if youve only given them a taste of it, and they didnt really like it. I'd suggest putting it out finished, otherwise, I dont see much of a return rate tbh.
Really, in a story like this, it may be better to just eliminate the option system all together. Just make it a linear story, that way the reader doesnt have to go through so many dead ends to just come to an abrupt stop because you didnt finish it. It would probably be better off as a traditional story with this plot anyway.
At first I was like "wut", then I was all like "what", and then I was like "WHAT", and then I was all like:
I think it just needs better jokes. I know that's all but useless advice, but I imagine if I was laughing I would have enjoyed it. Steal what you can from blueshift's brony adventure, and the monkey island video games. That's the sort of humor that applies here. The choices need to be more extravagant and unpredictable. Also, the characterisation should be more distinct.
2622552
Hmm, alright. I'll see what I can do.
This is an interesting idea.
It could be better if it were longer and more detailed. 
Overall though it is very good. I enjoy reading it