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This story is a sequel to Dried Apples

Ponyville has had a hard winter. What will happen when they run out of food? Will they make it?

Rarity and Sweetie Belle are running out of food. With the freezing weather and a recurring dream mixed in, can the two sisters avoid tension and survive the winter? Or will they fall with the snow?

Sequel to Dried Apples. No knowledge of Dried Apples is required to enjoy this story. 2nd part of the Frozen Friends series.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

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Comment posted by SpaceCommie deleted Aug 24th, 2013

Nom dePlume

Nom dePlume #2 · Dec 15th, 2013 · · ·

Well done, you have a good start here. If you don't mind a bit of constructive criticism, I've got a few things I'd like to point out.

I'd suggest drawing some parts out-- The scenes where Rarity was spending hours in the Inspiration Room seemed very brief; I didn't get a good sense of the amount of time passing. Going more into the relationship between Rarity and her mother wouldn't hurt either, and I'd like to see Rarity's mysterious nightmare shown. (Assuming it isn't the Sweetie Belle one we saw. That was a little unclear too.)

At first, I thought it was Sweetie Belle who had woken up, not Rarity, at the start of the story. The vocabulary she uses dosen't quite seem to fit the character. I'd advise watching a few Rarity-centric episodes and studying the way she talks. The way she thinks will follow the same lines.

~~Also everything after the dream scene was in italics...~~

You have a lot of raw talent, and I hope you don't get discouraged. Keep at it, and soon you'll have hundreds of people clamoring for your next piece.

superpony55

superpony55 #3 · Dec 16th, 2013 · · ·

3632289

Thanks. Thanks for the help, and for the compliment.

JumpingShinyFrogs

JumpingShinyFrogs #4 · Jan 3rd, 2014 · · ·

Congratulations! This story has officially been deemed a Sapphire by The Gem Hunters.

The only problems I could really see were a few places lacking description, and the fact that over half the story is written in italics for some reason.

Dancewithknives