Getting to Know You
I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Edited by: Gambit Prawn
The talk Rarity had mainly with Twilight on her surprise friend had been somewhat enlightening. Admittedly, they didn’t stay on the subject for long, but one could not deny her curious state. She could tell Fluttershy was just as curious also wanting hear more of Twilight's life before Ponyville.
Who would have thought Twilight had such a lonesome past filled with an amount of studying that it made Rarity question how her friend could be here talking with them. It would explain her love for books, she noted to herself, thinking about every instant the lavender Unicorn would fuss over a book's contents or condition like she would a dress's style and coloring.
This Masquerade fellow, however sounds like a nice Pony, if not a scoundrel at times, this line of thought made her smile. Apparently, from what little she was able to get out of Twilight, he was a nice colt that liked to have some level of fun when studying.
She knew, unlike most fillies, colts had a tendency of always being on the move, so that wasn’t a surprise to her. What was is that he wouldn’t fight to run away from Twilight when she dragged him off for a study time.
He was either too nice to say no like Fluttershy, or was to polite to refuse. Rarity however creased her brow remember the more early part of the conversation. he however must have grown out of it some, fighting Twilight on not being a burden to her home. But then again, she would only know so much. Twilight was the one who really knew him, not her, so she be sure of any change from colt to stallion.
There was also nothing new in her little gossip circles on a black unicorn that specializes in acting. Not yet anyways, but she normally would hear something by now right?
So unless he’s been sitting around Twilights place looking over a map this whole time, he should be up and about making some disturbance. After all, one does not simply toss a pebble into the water and not expect some form of reaction.
She let her thought stew around in her mind as she eyed her newest hat she had made. The amount of work needed has dropped a bit as society as a whole seemed content at the moment with what clothing seemed to be out.
The next new thing has yet to rise and challenge her work, and no new orders have been made yet, leaving her with some open time. Time she has spent with her darling, if not sometimes annoying, little bundle of imaginative joy that is her sister.
She was out at the moment though ‘Crusading’ with the other girls. She so did like Applejacks younger sister, and Scootaloo wasn’t that bad either, even if she was next to being a Rainbow Dash clone. The problem came when mixing the three and their want of their special talents more sooner than not.
At least they had fun and enjoy their time together. Yes, that was certainly a plus over being alone in her room while their older sibling slaved away with their work.
“Ah, to be so young and free again.” Rarity reminisced over her time at her sisters age and at one point, wanting to know what made her special among all the little colts and fillies.
This just about made her loop back to Twilight and the still not well known Masquerade. Knowing who this old friend of Twilights was just nagging at her. She said he wouldn’t be around long, but perhaps there was still a chance for a quick meet and greet?
With one last stitch done, she looked over her finished product with a critical eye. The colors themselves would go nicely with ponies' with darker coats that tended to warm up more in summer, and with its wide brim, shade them from sunlight more often. It was both fashionable and functional.
Putting it down for the time being and looking up at the clock in her creativity room, Rarity judged she had a few hours before her parents drop by to pick up Sweetie Belle. Just enough time to drop by Twilights and possibly see this pony she mentioned.
Two days, came the bitter thoughts banging at his minds gates, two long and mind turning days of planning. Masquerade had been spending all his time inside the library and going through every book he could for good placele to settle, but only one seemed to be prime pick. This little town near the Everfree Forest, Ponyville. Well, here and that Appleoosa place, but here sounded calmer then there.
Not that he could complain, he told Spike it was a nice place and was considering on staying. However, one day of looking around wasn't enough to make a spot on decision like this. So, to be sure, he was going to spend a week or so around here to get a proper grasp of the place.
Get a low pay job for helping support himself and pay rent --which took two hours worth of debate with Twilight to pay for his time here-- and add it to the amount if he left. If he didn’t leave, then he’d have that much more he could use to buy a home and live out his time here.
Besides the two days spent locked indoors with mostly books and specks of dust to keep him company, things have been rather peaceful. Sure little Twinkles has been trying to get him to up and move around, but he had told her she would be doing the same in his position if this was some sort of test.
After that, she spent her time helping with the whole planning and checking of the travel time and costs. It was nice to have her around to help, as her planning skills far surpassed his own.
But after two days, he had decided to stop looking at the books and go through town and get to know it a bit better. After I write down these last few things, he noted, working out one last path for Manehatten. Looking at the results made him cringe. He did not like the numbers that he was seeing.
Standing up and having a nice long stretch that caused a few pops, he briefly considered seeing if they had a place that works on body based therapy. Celestia knew how much a back rub would help with his stress levels and knotted back. A knock from the door stopped any further thoughts on that and promoted a different question: why do ponies knock on what Twilight explained to be a Library door? Granted, the librarian to said establishment lives in it as their own home, but that’s like saying you have to knock on the door to enter a bakery!
Regardless, he took that line of thought and shelved it to later ponder the logic behind it all. After all, there was a guest, best to be as much of a host he would be allowed to be in another’s home. But that got him thinking, does Twinkles have anything against me being a host while she and Spike are gone? Thinking it over a little and decided to put that on another mental shelf labeled ‘discuses with Twilight’ and make his way to the door.
Opening the door he smiled gently and asked “How might I help you this evening Ma‘am?”
Before him was a very beautiful mare with a seemingly flawless white coat and amethyst curled mane. Part of him could only question what a Mare like her was doing here. Then again, there was a horn on her head, marking her as a unicorn. Perhaps here for something on spells?
With her own smile that seemed to only grow she asked, “Are you, by chance, Masquerade?” Looking him over with curious eyes.
She knows me, how? Though he didn’t voice it out, he did nod gesture her inside. With a curt nod of her own and entering in she continued “I‘m Rarity, a close friend of Twilights.” And yet again, looked him over, “When she had mentioned you, I just had to stop by and get to know you!”
Blinking at her and slowly closing the door, he could only wonder what Twinkles could have said to cause a friend, a close friend at that, to come snoop around for him.
“Well, it‘s a pleasure to meet you Rarity.” Deciding to do a little digging of his own, he forestalled any questions at the moment and let her say what she wanted. Then he can ask what should be asked “Is there something I could get you?”
Not a minute in, and he was already being a host, that was more then enough to get Rarity to smile “A glass of water would be appreciated.” Without needing any prodding, he went to his task and went straight for the kitchen.
Rarity seated herself and begin to let her eyes wander a bit. As always the library was kept in prime condition, all thanks to Spike who kept an eye on the place when Twilight was out. But amongst all the order, one table seemed out of place with it’s stacked books and strewn papers’ held down by the odd bit that lay there for no apparent reason.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she got up and trotted over to the mess and looked it over. In the center of it all was a map with many cresses, showing its overuse and ever repeated folding process. Around that seemed to be notes of balance, distance, climate, weather schedules-- it was confusing for there to be much detail for just one trip.
“Gives you a headache just looking at it, doesn’t it?”
Masquerade's sudden appearance made Rarity jump and screech in surprise while he just stood in place, laughing on the inside while barley smirking on the outside. “I‘m sorry, I didn’t startle you too badly, did I?” He asked calmly floating the requested glass of water with his green magic.
Calming her breath and almost wanting to give the stallion a glare for the sudden scare, she let out a “I-It’s fine darling.” Taking the offered glass and still trying to calm her beating heart, “Just a little startled.”
He only gave an innocent smile in her direction while she thought, Twilight didn’t really go in depth enough about his mischievous antics, and made a smile of her own. But she could almost swore that when she moved to the table he was snickering, but when she glanced back he seemed to be in thought.
Sitting down and taking a sip of her glass while he worked his way to his own seat a crossed from her, she started “I understand you and Twilight were both students at the same institute?”
“We were,” He nodded looking a little nostalgic “Happy times they were, happy times…” And went silent from there, just staring off. “But that’s not so anymore.” He snapped out of his zoned out state looking right at the white Unicorn.
Quirking a brow she asked “How so?” trying to understand his sudden change from good memories to not so sure anymore.
“As much as I hate to admit it, she‘s grown up.” Masquerade simply stated thinking about the interactions he had with her for some time “I have to get to know her all over again, just so we can share the same relationship we did back then.”
Both white ears perked at this little bit and a smile began to form “What sort of relationship?” Rarity inquired, tying to see this as a possible romance.
That was quickly shot down when he said “A sibling sort.”
Not seeming to notice her slightly deflated hopes he continued “I like to see her like a younger sister in a way.” And chuckled to himself “I guess that makes Spike my even younger brother!” Then began to laugh out “Oh, what a strange family we would make!”
Rarity had to admit, the picture she had of him, mixed with Twilight and Spike made an interesting bunch. Not too strange, but the idea still made her giggle herself.
“Why, I remembered this one time we stayed at the royal library more latter then we should have,” He begin, still in a small fit of chuckles “And I was so sure we would be in trouble when the Guards found us.” And so he began to retell his and Twilights little misadventure to Rarity, who began to listen in.
“Thank you again for the help Twilight” Mayor Mare, a older Mare with a tan coat and graying mane thanked once again as she and her secretary continue to fight a now easier battle with the dreaded paperwork.
With a smile, the lavender Mare only nodded happily as her own assistant brought over another stack to file away “Don’t worry about it, I understand what it‘s like getting behind on your work.” Twilight worked through each document with her magic, being quick to reorganize into the right folder. The amount of things that needed to be reorganized was staggering in a way.
Then again, it was understandable with all that’s happened in almost two years here. She had no delusions about not being the cause of a number of the problems as some where in direct and could have been handled differently.
Like when I almost thought I could handle Nightmare Moon on my own. Or when that Ursa Minor rampaged through town. Even Discord's-- She blinked at the last one and reconsidered it, No, there was no way around that one. He was a trickster, and to be a trickster meant he had to be more than just competent.
She was at least happy the Princess had set up an amount of bits, aimed right for Ponyville for such things that would warrant its destruction. Suffice to say, since her time moving here, it has been a good investment. In fact, they might be due for another disaster of some sort soon.
What will it be, Giant monsters, or me and my friends' antics? Masquerade had actually told her to considered making a private betting circle with her friends on that. Place bets as to what made the next disaster happen, after he heard of a few things that had happened since her living here.
Part of her wanted to abolish herself for thinking like that, but sometimes Masquerade has a way of making one think strangely from time to time. She wondered what he was up to right now.
“And then when I would be pulled along in the air, I‘d hold out my stubby limbs saying, 'Look at me Twinkles, I can fly!' and the Guards would look at me before rubbing there eyes as if they were imaging it!” Masquerade laughed out, retelling Rarity of when he and Twilight were younger they would do all sorts of silly things. Such as when Twilight dragged him around in her magic, he made it look like he was flying.
The white mare herself could not hold in her own laughter at the mental picture of a filly Twilight making a colt Masquerade fly around the Castle corridors like a little Pegasus.
“I-I must admit.” Rarity snickered out, trying to control her laughter “The idea of children doing that all the time in Canterlot.” Once more she giggled, almost seeing the same thing happening in the throne room “It‘s both adorable and funny!”
With a smirk he said “Not as adorable as the time Twilight got both herself and me into the royal kitchen and found Celestia’s private cake stash!”
With a gasp she glared in a playful manner “You wouldn’t have dared!” Eyes gleaming with wanting to know more.
With an absent shrug, Twilight went back to organizing. Whatever the Stallion was up to, she was sure both she and Spike could clean it up. Thankfully he was tidy to some extent, only getting his little corner messy and leaving everything else untouched.
Though, there was some nagging thought that continued to pull at her mind, why does he need to travel on hoof, rather than take the train? It was more reasonable to take the train and be there in hours or days than to walk for days or weeks to get someplace. She didn’t see any logical reason to avoid it, but by his words he said, “I prefer to take in the sights when I travel,” even though one could do nearly the same on the train.
She shook the thought away for the time being and focused on her task at hoof now.
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It's time for the fourth chapter of "My Little Annoying: List of Errors". (You can call it "MLA: LoE - E04" for short.
)
Two in one! Firstly, her name is (still) not in two words. Secondly, we don't speak of a herd of Applejacks, but about Applejack's younger sister.
When I read that, I imagine Rarity confectioning a hat that using nuclear combustible as fabric. The resulting garment must be as deadly than it is fashionable.
It's Appleloosa, but i'm not sure you should correct it here, since it might make sense for Masquerade to be confused about how is supposed to say it.
can't
Okay, I'm liking the story, but I'm going to take some time to highlight some grammatical errors
Red = Things you should remove.
Green = Things that weren't there that should be added.
Yellow = Things that should be changed, i.e A sentence's wording.
Strike Through= Things that should be changed to something else i.e:ColtcoltShould be re-written to be more comprehensible, add an apostrophe to Twilights (since it's her life).
should be changed to something similar to
Dress, and it's plural possessive, are very tricky. Everyone says something different, i.e: dresses, dress's
If you make it singular and take off the 'a' before it, it makes everyone happy.
Don't capitalize colt or stallion unless it's the beginning of a sentence. Same goes for filly and mare, plus pegasus and unicorn.
Bigou's post was nicely written and explains each error better.
You do this a lot, but the beginning of a quote should have a comma, like so: His eyes gleamed with mirth as he whispered, "Let's play a prank."
I'm a little iffy on the green and purple parts here. You can see if you like how I worded it.
Some examples of proper there/their/they're usage:
"There was a man with a backpack." "The park there was never used." There is usually used to refer to a person, place, or thing.
"Their hats were all black, aside from a dark blue strip going down the brim." "It was their bed, and he was a guest." Their indicates it is a group of people and you are describing something having to do with them.
"They're getting ready for celebration!" "Aside from having fun, they're going to be doing some work too." They're is just a nice way of saying 'they are' so use it like that.
They aren't taking pictures are they? imaging should be imagining.
I didn't get all of them, but these are just some suggestions. Great story so far, keep up the nice work!
Hmm, I think these two have covered most of the mistakes in this chapter. You really should get a beta reader, or at least read over it several times before you post. It looks like your autocorrect is going crazy fixing the mistakes and making it even worse. Then there's the awkward choices of phrasing things all through the story. While the story is enjoyable, the constant need to figure out what you are trying to say distracts the reader. One thing I noticed the other two missed is that you need to remember to put quotation marks around things they say. It also helps the reader if you use some method of noting that a sentence is something one of them is thinking, such as single quotation marks or italics.
I like the story, but the amount of errors is painful.
-Mara
Well at least we figured out how Ponyville managed to stay float from all the damages, and Mask sneaking in...is the starting of the trend. And the gossiping with the Troll is strong in this chapter. *Mischievous smile* And I have to say Rarity will spread this like wild fire.
There are so many things wrong with this sentence, I barely know where to begin. You REALLY need to go back and edit bro. I'll keep reading though. Hopefully your spelling and grammar improve.
7154018
Just joking around. :)
Oh just wait till next Tuesday. All the fun things happen on Tuesday.