• Member Since 18th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 8th, 2018


Comments ( 60 )

I think you know what you're doing... :ajsmug:

Mother-in-law? That would mean that Spike married Twilight's child. I'd say adoptive mother. Other than that, I like it.

Vore? Heck yeah, I'm in! Please tell me she's gonna eat Spike.

2749809 I'm also an avid fan of vore, but I hate to tell you that that isn't where this story is heading. :fluttershysad: My intentions are to make a clean but sensual tale that dealt mostly with stuffing. I could probably fit some vore in, but, compared with everything else I'll have, it would look rather forced and out-of-place. It wouldn't be impossible, though, and I'll definitively consider it.

Though, I could always either fit in some bonus chapters or create entirely different stories altogether; since the conflict in this story has mostly died out and the two characters are beginning to sync, I suppose it would be easier to just insert a fun, different chapter from time to time. :twilightsmile:

What do you think?

2749450 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT :pinkiecrazy:

Also, thank you for pointing that out. I remembered being confused when I wrote that bit, and I guess I just gave up on thinking about it altogether. :twilightsmile:

2750042 whatever you feel like writing is good for me.:twilightsmile: But you should wait until you finish what's happening now before going off on a tangent. Any other ideas can be alternate endings!

2750068 Thanks for the advice; I really have to focus on the next chapter and not the next ten. :twilightsheepish: And alt endings sound good, too.

Thank you for your jolly cooperation! :twilightsmile:

2750042 What, no dirty stuff? :flutterrage: That's it, I'm outta here.

Just kidding. I noticed a few weird transitions from past tense to present:

Rubbing her hoof over the source of the noise, she groans and enters the kitchen.

His voice trails off at the sight of Twilight drooling profusely, her hunger rekindled tenfold and her legs shaking slightly with anticipation.

Now conscious, her muzzle glows a bright red as she cleans up the drool she made with her hoof.

I think they're more, but the story got too weird for me to notice them.

Regardless, interesting stuff. :pinkiehappy:

i'm so confused :applejackconfused:

2750132 Jajajajaja, the dirty stuff will be coming soon. *ba-dum tsss*

On a related note OH GOD WHY DID I MAKE THESE MISTAKES :twilightoops:

And finally, I'm glad that you found the story interesting; I can't imagine how weird of a tale this must be to those that don't have the same..."preference".

Thank you for your two bits! :twilightsmile:

2750231 Shhhhhh...Just relax...:trollestia:

Erm... kinda confused here and yet... want moar. :applejackconfused:

2750308 So this is the power of Assuming Direct Control...magnificent....:pinkiecrazy:

quick question is this fic a Splight? :moustache::heart::twilightsmile: or am i reading this wrong? :unsuresweetie:

2750343 Seeing as how they are rolling down the path towards being infatuated by each other through intimacy, I think it is safe to say that yes, there is some Spilight involved. However, Im also guided to say that their relationship is not the premise of the entire fic. I'll attempt to flesh it out more in the second chapter and rationalize it, as this one was mostly centered around Twilight's discovery, with tidbits of Spike X Twilight starting up.

I'm sorry its confusing (and it's kind of hard to explain as well), but hopefully you'll see where I'm going with this in the next few chapters... :twilightblush:

ah i get it now :twilightsmile: thanks for clearing that up for me, i'm having a slow day today :facehoof:

" (WARNING: CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT( shameless stuffing))"

"Shameless stuffing" is what makes this "mature"? No ... pervy stuff? If so, I LOVE you and will read this right away! =D Most inflation/stuffing stories are just clop anymore ... ><

I have to say, I'm liking this so far and I think it's actually decently written despite some grammatical mistakes. My only complaint is that Spike is under-aged and I do not look forward to Twilight getting intimate with him at all. Maybe if he was aged up bit(perhaps with an age spell?), but if you are going to go down that road, put a warning on the description at least, because for people that aren't into pedophilia, it's a major mood killer. Either way, it's up to you. It is your story after all.

As for the picture, maybe you could just grab some image of a bunch of pancakes off the web. I seriously doubt there will copyright issues. That or (if you're willing to spend like twenty bucks) you could commission purplekecleon (email - purple.kecleon@gmail.com). She's amazing at drawing stuffed ponies. I used her work for the cover-art on my own stuffing fetish stories.

Anyway, I hope you keep writing, and I look forward to updates. (As long as there's not a whole bunch of pedobear approved content in them.) :moustache:

2750886 I totally agree with you; like, more than 75% of a story like that is clop, and the rest is the inflation/stuffing that they leave to die out. :ajbemused:

My goal with this was to be as sensual as possible with the stuffing genre while avoiding something like what was mentioned above to happen. I'm super-glad that you enjoy the story so far as I've never done anything like this before :twilightblush:

Thanks! :twilightsmile:

P..S. I put it as Mature just to be safe :)

2752179 I'm really glad that you like the story as it is, and I agree with putting a label in the description. I saw Spike as an individual that Twilight would feel the most relaxed and open with, seeing as they practically grew up together. I'm also using him as (almost) strictly a helper for Twilight, leaving out sex and the like as that is not what I'm trying to make the story about. I too am not one for pedo stuff but, for what spike is doing, I agree that there should at least be a label in the description.

I'm also not in the position to be spending money on commissions, even though they look very nice :twilightsheepish:

To be honest, I'm still working out on what will be in te next chapter, but I can safely say that everything I've put in the comments section is certain.

Thanks for the review, as it helped me really think about what to do next. :twilightsmile:

nice chapter but for one thing that pisses me every time i see it

though he still loved her as if she were his mother

Spike himself has said that Twilight is not the mommy, plus according to word of god (Faust) Spike was raised by Celestia not Twilight, why people insist on Spike viewing Twilight as his mother is beyond me! :twilightangry2: and yes my jimmies are rustled :flutterrage:
other than that, this was a good chapter (if strange), and i look forward to reading more :twilightsmile:

2799475 ...I'll be honest, I didn't know about that. :ajsleepy:

I kept assuming that, since Spike saw Twilight first, he immediately formed a connection of sorts. I guess I'll go back and fix it, derp. :derpyderp1: (scrubsisepic)

Regardless, I'm so glad you liked this chapter (and that you're still following!), and I'll have more stuff soon. :twilightsmile:

You should probably include something in the description about a very gassy Twilight, particularly about her rear expulsions.

Anyways, I liked this chapter. Will there be any weight gain in future chapters?

Also, happy birthday. My birthday is in three days. :moustache:

2799774 Sure, I could add another note in the description. :ajsmug:

Also, weight gain? Like putting emphasis on the weight itself? I'll have to study your fics for this :trixieshiftright:

And thanks, its great being *GOVERNMENT RETRACTION* years old. Happy Pre-Birthday, I guess?? :twilightsheepish:

Thanks for following!


Also, weight gain? Like putting emphasis on the weight itself? I'll have to study your fics for this

Not so much the weight itself, but the curves and softness created by weight gain. Unless Twilight has a really fast metabolism, all the calories in those pancakes have to go somewhere. :twilightblush:

My latest story has weight gain - http://www.fimfiction.net/story/112536/mega-munchies

Loved it. :rainbowlaugh:

The thing about Spike and Twilight is that you never really know what's going on between them. :derpyderp1:

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Happy birthday btw!

Happy belated birthday

this chapter was very cool. I like that Spike goes submissively to his knees before Twilight instead of waiting on his feet.

2805497>>2802087 Thanks, guys! :D

(Though I could probably do it for a bonus chapter later on......naaaah).


When's this going to update? I await eagerly. :moustache:

2952008 2933771 It's a-comin', guys, just keep holding me to it. :3

YEAH! :yay: i look forward top reading the next chapter :twilightsmile:

Awesome, a much desired update. Can't wait to read this later. :rainbowkiss:

I think your writing has improved.

The progression works and fits together logically. Well, as logical as it can be when driven by Pinkie Pie and her invisible giant pockets. (Another idea would be Pinkie having an emergency secret stash of desserts hidden somewhere in Twilight's house, or maybe some kind of cake cannon.) That said, my only concern is that I find it hard to believe Rainbow and Spike would be as surprised at Pinkie's antics as you portrayed them to be, but that's just me being a nit picker.

You've set the scene for a very promising fourth chapter. I await eagerly for it, but please, take your time, a long wait for good writing is preferable to a short wait for rushed writing. :moustache:

2980106 Thanks for your two bits :ajsmug:

I was actually worried that I had jumped the gun one too many times with this chapter, but I have yet to see a fire so I guess everything's fine :twilightblush:

And yeah, I'll make sure to take my time with this next part. Thanks again, DirtyApe :twilightsmile:

In this paragraph,

Her stomach couldn't stand the wait anymore, a low rumble escaping Twilight. Just the smell of the cupcake she held alone was enough to assuage the rest of her non-food-related cognitions. Pushing the mystery of Spike's current whereabouts to the back of her mind, she lividly swallowed the rest of the cupcake, enjoying the small bulk all the way down.

I don't think "lividly" was the right word. It means extremely angry.

Perhaps blissfully, gleefully, or maybe even titillatingly would work better.

Also, I think that first sentence should be reworded. Like: Emitting a low rumble, Twilight's stomach made it known that it couldn't stand the wait any longer.

There's more sentences that I think should be reworded. I'd be willing to point them out in a long comment if you wanted me to.

2984392 Hey, knock yourself out :twilightsmile:

Don't...don't really knock yourself out, though :ajbemused:

Also, its out of bad habit that I keep misusing livid as another term for lively; it's one of THOSE words for me.

No rush or anything but is there an ETA on the next chapter? Waiting drives me crazy!

3069301 Hehe, yeah, sorry about that. I would like to say that it is almost finished, but I keep finding myself revising and editing what I've written so far. That, and I'm starting up on a bunch of stuff IRL, and some days T.E.P. (Twilight...you know) even slips my mind.

I'm positive, however, that I'll have it posted some time during the weekend, once I'm finished with everything else on my agenda; I will not allow this story to die just yet. :twilightsmile:

Thanks for reading!

A lot of focus on the bathroom, but you did keep your promise I guess.

Excited about the coming update!

I dun goofed; I got my second dislike. :ajsleepy:

I had to rush this chapter because I'll be doing a lot this week. And the next week. And the week after that.

And the wifi at my place has been going on and off.

And I've been playing Minecraft and Tekken to waste pass time.

And I think I'll go and update my page as I said I would. :twilightsheepish:

3108133 Awesome, an update. I'm sure I'll enjoy reading this later when I have time.

FYI, don't worry too much about dislikes. Out of the sum 660 people who checked out this story, having only two dislikes is still very good. Personally, I think they should do away with the rating system. People are always disliking, but don't comment why. It doesn't help the writer improve at all.

What? Pinkie and Rainbow Dash feel bad about Twilight missing out on a cool party but don't think for a moment that Spike might want to go?

Twilight didn't complain as one cupcake after another began to assault her mullet,

That creates a hilarious image. Food attacking Twilight's hair? Sounds like the kind of thing that would happen to Pinkie Pie off-screen. :pinkiehappy: I think you meant gullet.

3124536 Oh wow, I actually typed mullet :rainbowlaugh: Thanks


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