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Twilight has spent the last two decades fighting against the dark forces which threaten the peaceful kingdom of Equestria. As a Royal Alicorn Princess, she has no choice in the matter. She is the greatest magician Equestria has ever known, but it has all come at a cost, both physically and mentally. She resents her friends for the happy, carefree lives they've been able to lead. Somepony will have to breach her walls of isolation and sorrow before she does something foolish.
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Nice story, really like Argent's character :)
Whelp that was pretty awesome, still Argent is best character :D
This story has taken a turn for the adorable, yet it is a believable development. Can't wait to read more!
Well I'm glad I found this story
I don't know about any one else but I like chapters that are longer the 5,000 words. It give the writer more room to develop the character's.
2662973 Yeah, that's what I think too. It fits my writing schedule. I usually try to get 1,200 words per writing session, that way I make it around 7000 words per week with time to proofread. With the doldrums of summer setting in, I figure I can easily keep up that pace and pump out a chapter a week or more.
2663099 Wow that is a fast pace. Looking forward to more adventures
Clearly, for every problem that future Twilight solves for past Twilight, she has to randomly attack her and Argent on the road for some make-up training. She can be a miniboss!
I was worried after reading the first chapter, Twilight had such a rage going---and it got worse hearing her friends complain about her instead of finding out the "why". Thanks for giving Twi and Argent a chance to heal and bond!
I'm looking forward to seeing how the world changes and what it's like in the Ponyville of the Future (dun, dun, dunnnn)!
This is ... different ...
In 20 years (give or take a little) after Twilight's friends get back to town to give Spike the bad news about Twilight's disasterous spell. Twilight and Argent (a 20 year older Twily and Argent maby with a foal or 2) step out of a back room when Twilight promptly says .. "Hiyas guys ...sorry i was such a bitch ... Hopefully i did not screw causality too much ... Hugs?"
I enjoyed reading your story so far, and I'm really interested to see what consequences the presence of the two main characters in the past will entail.
I'm glad that you didn't stick to the type of 'time travel' that was shown in the show. Really, what's the purpose of going to the past when you can't change a thing in the end
As for the more technical matters. Your writing is quite good, I haven't noticed any glaring errors besides a few minor typos throughout the story. You sometimes suffer from a mild case of the "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome", but I only noticed it in 2 or 3 paragraphs so far, so it's not that big of a deal.
As it is, in my opinion the story is heavily underappreciated. Perhaps it's because one of the main characters is an OC, who is also a romantic interest of Twilight? From what we have seen so far, he doesn't seem to have any major vices besides being too dull to confess his feelings to the mare he had fallen in love with for whole twenty years... Well, I shall give you the benefit of the doubt on that; besides, Argent's seeming lack of flaws didn't seem that noticeable to me - not every OC has to be a reformed maniacal murderer with a dark past.
Oh, and as for the last chapter's ending: angry sex is best sex!
2693010 I really appreciate the notes. The descriptors are definitely something I'll keep an eye on. My short term memory is garbage, so repetitive words and phrases sometimes creep their way in if I'm distracted while I'm writing. I write in pretty large blocks so when I get into a roll it's less of a problem.
As far as the time travel goes, the next chapter is well on its way and has a pretty significant divergence. The fun thing for me is that since the past occurs after the coronation, I'm having to incorporate three events for every one alteration they cause: What happened in the past of the original timeline; what happened in the future of the original timeline; and what happens in the new, altered, timeline. You won't always see much on what happened in the original timeline, a few memories here and there, but it'll be there for the reader to interpret.
Argent's not supposed to be a white knight (probably picked the wrong name to make that assertion), but he's supposed to be the loyal bodyguard to a princess, so maybe that was partially unavoidable. He is supposed to be a bit dull on expressing himself, as mentioned it in Ch. 3. He's one of those people that spend a lot of their time in their heads. There's a pretty good reason for that, and it's coming in the next chapter. Teaser: Third Main Character approaching!
After reading only chapter 1, all I can say is that I hope this isn't another Canon X OC ship. those are always so...retarded.
Oh god, now I want the next chapter to be out now! Darn it!
Ah time travel hijinxs. Let the paradoxes pile up!
I love this!
I wanted to know, wich time travel theory do you use?
do you use the one were changes in the past create two separates universes (like in dragon ball)?
or do you stay with only one timeline, and so when old twilight and old argent go back to their time, everything will be changed?
2720873 In the words of River Song: "Spoilers."
Hmm, something tells me that Twilight and Argent might not have travelled to the past, but to some kind of alternate universe instead.
Why wouldn't they remember Trixie coming to Ponyville around the beginning of Argent's guard service for Twilight? Could their short presence in the 'past' influence it so much already?
Another thing... did Trixie simply mistake the older Argent for somepony else, or is it perhaps some more convoluted and mysterious matter? It heavily depends on what do you mean by a "matron"; if it's some kind of unearthly spirit, or maybe simply a warden in, say, orphanage.
Basically, my response boils down to this:
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/33323899.jpg
Just because Flutters is being Kind and Gentle does not mean that she will put up with Big Mac getting himself hurt again... especially if it is over something as stupid as not letting his body heal up ...
"kkthks
Heh, so she mistook him for her father... as usual, I'm over-thinking things
Let's see what kind of adventure you have in mind for the next chapters
Some errors that I have noticed:
You have written "cutie mare" instead of "cutie mark" a few times.
Remove the "the" or replace "Fluttershy" with another term that could describe her.
I think that you reversed the order of these two words here.
2755725 Whoops! Thanks for the catch. It's like my brain has a bad autocorrect in it sometimes. That or I should just lay off the scotch when I'm proofreading.
I really like this so far ! Keep up the good work :D love stories when twi goes back in time and you do a really great job with this
2685852
Agreed.
2627173
I agree, This was well done. Not sure why the views are lacking.
2656282
no promises.
Same.
2662973
Agreed.
2663099
Wait what? That's Damn good man. Now let see if I can publicize this at all
2687113
I would laugh. What might be better is if she walks in after them and shrugs them off like nothing happened.
The way I see this, twi's spell went funny and she and defender went to the void. Because of this it is possible to move through time and space. Thus saying she is in another timeline. So she can't mess her past up because she is in another twi's past. Maybe I am over thinking it. It would loosen things up though. Good story.
Zombies!!!
Paradoxes are coming. Let's see how much longer the older Twilight can keep this up.
/shout Choo Choo!! Undead Train INC to Appleoosa!!
I'd really want to say something constructive, but I don't really know what... I simply enjoyed reading the chapter. Undead infestation GOGO!
A few small errors that I have noticed:
put a comma after "side" here.
A fantastic chapter you have written! However I can't help but feel a little worried that the older Twilight and Argent are doing too much of the heavy lifting when the younger pair should have their chance to shine, develop and grow. But since the time light has already been altered I guess that means that they will encounter new challenges that the original pair never had.
Looking forward to your next chapter!
2791903 Well, the younger duo are on their own(ish) now. We'll see how they fare.
adventure time
!
.
i really love this chapter, but now i want more
Dude! This chapter was amazing!
I'm not a stickler for grammar, and the flow was so clean, that none stood out at all. I got confused at he end as to which pair was doing what for a minute, but it cleared itself up quickly. I can see how the interference from the future pair seems to be bringing the pat pair closer together, maybe some young romance in the offing? And the time stream resets...yay! (Just sayin'
)
Welp, it's now inevitable older and younger selves meet. If you don't, I'm going to call bullshit.
Boss fight over! How many xp points do they receive?
Damn! The fact this fic is so under appreciated while X becomes an alicorn version 11 or another sex fic gets featured drives me crazy sometimes. The injustice!
On the other-hand this is another hidden gem for me to hoard.
Words are never written if the wish is for them to never be read. The act of writing them signifies the need for them to be read, even if it is after a long time: words written are words that are meant to be read.
So much win!!!
And Trixie saves the day!
So now, how do we put things right without imploding the space-time continuum?
2825212 0xp! You have to go turn the quest in! Monsters and bosses themselves are worth nothing! The older ones got the quest, they will get the exp. The younger ones didn't know about the quest so didn't pick it up, they get nothing!
Heh, when will all those villains finally learn to hide the sources of their power, especially if it happens to be a frail, shiny crystal that could swiftly bring their demise if destroyed
I wonder if Twilight will put two and two together and realize that the Lich was talking about Oracle as if she too were an alicorn
A couple of minor errors that I have noticed:
2827060 Well to be fair to the insane undead wizard, he did feel pretty secure in his hidden lair beneath a mountain in a desert whose location was almost completely lost to history. Too bad Twilight and Argent are playing with cheat codes.
oh my gosh
you didn't end it with a clifhander! I love you so much 
now for the errors :
HOW COULD YOU
you should use hooves. that's it, if you don't mind 
you seem to have forgotten a "the" or a "a"
okay that's it! keep the epic work
2838683 NOOOOO! Feet...FEET! I've let you all down. /commits sepuku.
thanks for the heads up on the errors.
this is the second story this week that involves time travellers taking refuge at zecoras place. only in the other one, its the mane 6's kids.
One step closer to the truth.
2856777
The way "Oracle" told them though is really gonna piss young Twilight off when she learns the truth. Though Twilight does have past experiences with time travel mishaps so it could go either way.
Hot jiggly damn! Your skill with words to paint such a vivd imagery of the characters and their environment makes this one of the most enjoyable chapter I have read! Seriously this is one of my most (if not my MOST) anticipated story in my favorites right now, and its under-appreciated status causes me no small amounts of disappointment.
2857368
I think she would be seriously interested in how older Twilight bypassed the invisible wall that prevented anyone from messing with events in the past, although the ramifications of being unable to return to your original timeline will most definitely open a whole new brand of problems.
like always, i love this chapter
now for two errors i've spotted
always happy to help
2858293 Although she would no doubt be interested, I still say first reaction will be pissed or maybe not I don't freaking know.