The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Chronicle at present was having a strange dream. At first, it seemed that he was recalling the talk he and Blue Diary had with their father after the Antithesis Incident. Except there was more. Either something weird is going on, or he's actually remembering things.
F—L—A—S—H—B—A—C—K
Chronicle. "…With that, the two rightful bearers made contact, and the Element finally reformed, but not without absorbing all of our magic to do so."
Blue Diary. "I was the first to come to, finding myself and the others at a hospital. I woke up faster due to not having all my magic drained since I wasn't a unicorn. I had a talk with Mystic when he got curious about his world's counterpart. Having been outside the magic that destroyed Antithesis, he didn't fall unconscious like we did.
"My brother followed a few hours later, and the rest save Trixie a few days after. And I upheld the Pinkie Promise I made with Chronicle. We hoped she'd recover soon lest they get stuck in Equestria Prime forever." The white pegasus left out that fact that he at least can go back to Luna Equestria via the Story Crew's portal mirrors. "During our adventure in the Everfree Forest, it turns out that both our friends had gotten a chance to know each other, and some of mine got to know their Prime counterparts. In particular, I found out that Prime's Ditzy—whose birth name is Derpy—had a somewhat similar history, including the scandalous affair, except her parents made Castor, Dinky's birth father, pay him support. Ditzy also met Time Turner—"
"Another awkward moment when I found out that a local version of Time Turner, a watchmaker, and the Doctor both exist, look almost exactly the same (how they keep their hair the only minor difference), that they're all right with it, and are both surrogate fathers to Dinky." His unicorn brother cut in, earning a frown from him. "Speaking of the Doctor, he wasn't around, probably in another time and place in his TARDIS with another of his companions. By now, I found out he's not THE Doctor. There's also the fact that Dinky's been having Twilight as a private tutor. Why she was taken in before Sweetie Belle is beyond me."
"Probably too caught up in all the 'Cutie Mark Crusading'," guessed Blue. "No such 'secret society' exists in Luna Equestria. Another thing, during the time we were in the hospital, his Mystic involved himself too in the friend-talk, wishing to pick up some more spells.
"And here's another tale, one that was in the end important for our return, Father. While waiting for Trixie to wake up,my world's Carrot Top and Chronicle's met for a while. When I looked checked through Surveillance, I heard the other confess that she wasn't really that good a farmer, that it was left by her grandmother, and was…quicker to give up."
"Whoa. I didn't know about that," commented the blue unicorn. "Then again, I never gave her reason to. I heard from her that her father being in debt was why the farm was sold to Applejack."
"Who according to your Carrot had run a great risk, due to not really having the money for expansion."
"I guess I really don't get along with Applejack as much as I do with the rest," Chronicle reflected. "But I have little reason to go to the farm often."
"Well, we live to fight and strive to get stronger. Farms tend not to have much use in that. Hnnh. Maybe another me ended up in your Equestria while I ended up in one with a very slightly different you."
"False," interceded Record Keeper, their father. "Both of your Surveillance cams covering the event were checked. Both were consistent in what they recorded." And Hub Equestria's Surveillance confirmed that your cameras 'saw' each other. The Story Crew Great Grandmaster assured us that the AUTemporal Insurance in each and every one of our tech rules out the possibility of seeing a 'perfectly' identical alternate match.
"Possible Book Troop sabotage?"
"…Maybe. But let's hear more before we come to that conlusion."
"Okay." And Blue continued his tale, facing his brother. "The next day, Carrot went to the flower shop and talked with your world's counterpart, getting tips on potions-making and that the one in yours is becoming part of an apothecaries guild. They even helped in finding a way to revive our Twilights and Trixies."
"Yeah. The doctors called my early awakening due to my magic returning quickly an anomaly, but I peg it on the fact that my magic really operates differently from theirs."
"You were at absolute zero mana," explained Record.
"Absolute zero?" Chronicle parroted.
"Even if you find yourself drained from casting too many spells or using too much magic, you always have at least a silver remaining, which allows your body to recharge, as it draws a little magic to do that, though not at the rate of recharge of course. As for absolute zero mana, it's exactly that, and your body needs a lot of time to restart your mana recharge, in the meantime absorbing ambient magic—a poor man's substitute—to do that. That's what your mother told me, at least."
Blue waited a while before continuing. "The quest to locate the berry they needed took them to the Everfree Forest, and let me tell you that my Carrot's meeting of Zecora wasn't…really pleasant."
"I can imagine," replied Chronicle. "Though Discord's the only one I have a true grudge at. And your rhyming was a little strained. And he's just as terrible in your world, right?"
"According to the stories, yes. And I didn't even mean to rhyme. Before even their meet-up with Zecora, my world's Carrot got startled by yours, whose eyes were glowing thanks to a cat’s eyes elixir, one ingredient of it being cat's tears."
"Cat's eyes elixir? So that explains Zecora's glowing eyes when I first saw her."
"The tonic is incredibly bitter, so you better prep your tongue, and your eyes will sting for a while. Anyway, due to her past in my world, Carrot was understandably suspicious of Zecora, mainly because they look too similar. Your Celestia is vastly different enough from Corona, as would Luna be to your Nightmare Moon. Along the way, they had a run-in with your Steven Magnet—have yet to see mine—after they used his body as a stepping-stone bridge. A very interesting encounter, if I do say so myself. After fixing his problem with a bit of hair conditioning, they were on their way again.
The blue unicorn chuckled at remembering his own group' run-in with Steven, and of Rarity's sacrifice. "Again, he is aided by the Element of Generosity."
The white pegasus seemed to get the joke, too. "Eheheheh. By the way, we also ran into the area where your Pinkie Pie discovered her Element of Laughter."
Now that got the bodyguard confused. "Huh? Me and my company passed that before running into the river serpent."
"Well, you weren't headed for the old castle. And you did nearly fall down a cliffside. Maybe your path's different from theirs."
"True."
"Let me tell you that the nightmares they faced were truly severe. Maybe that explains why even your Rainbow Dash was afraid. Lucky for us we got nerves of steel."
"As long as fiery beings aren't involved in my case."
"They used special necklaces that dispel fear, but are powered by the heart. Even so, they faltered for a bit, including Zecora, but naturally they made it through. At where the plant grew, they had a run-in with a huge Crushing Boar…" The assassin paused as he faced his brother, hoping he'd know something.
He didn't. "Never encountered it."
Shrugging, Blue continued, "It was a harrowing task. After collecting the berries, for some reason, it became a game of catch between them and the Boar, kinda like how school bullies do it, and I saw your world's Carrot was…not really fit."
This confused Chronicle again. "Not fit? That's strange. She made fourth place in last year's Running of the Leaves. I'll have to ask her about that, say that Zecora told me, after asking the zebra herself. Then again, she probably paced herself like Twilight did."
"Luckily, Carrot managed to concoct an adhesive that pinned it down long enough for them to get away. For a while. She had to help yours out and had Zecora go ahead. And they solved the problem when your Carrot located truffles and distracted the boar with it. Once they were back in Ponyville, they burnt the midnight oil making the potion. Which was a complete success. Our Carrot Tops talked with each other some more, yours even considering selling the rights to the potions she makes to help buy back the farm."
"That's good to hear."
"I returned once more to the hospital in time to see my Trixie awake. She panicked a bit from the IV unit, such things not existing in our Equestria yet, but was calmed down by my Luna. I was shortly followed by the rest of my friends, and we told each other all that had happened.
"Before our inevitable return to our world, Carrot decided to visit your world's counterpart's farm one last time, and saw your Applejack clearing the snow. She offered your spirit of Honesty some tips in maintaining it, and your Carrot did feel it would be safer with her."
"That's what she said," Chronicle quipped. "No, seriously. Well, maybe just implied as much."
"Your Carrot also supplies arthritis cream for Granny Smith."
"Huh, that explains her better… mobility these days." The unicorn allowed his brother to take a breather after taking one himself before taking over for him and facing their father. "Soon, they were out of the hospital, and we were waiting for them. All my friends, my world's Trixie and Luna, his world's Twilight, a fair number of Ponyvillians, including Blue's friends' counterparts, and the royal guard. As it was, Celestia deliberately remained in the sun to make sure that my Luna doesn't get blamed for doing what she had done as Nightmare Moon and that her return can be showcased as voluntary."
"Luna began to create a magic circle and once it was completed, she cast it and returned Celestia from the sun. Although it turns out that her sister had used magic dye to render her hair 'normal'."
"Just like with her Sunny Skies persona. She quickly reverted it though. Reunions were made, and then the goodbyes had to come."
"His Carrot gave mine a parting gift of recipes and alchemy tips. And Trixie got confused a little bit between the two before your Written Script resolved the issue."
"And his Luna gave Sparkle a choice; upon using the planeswalking spell to return them back to their world, they would be sent back to the exact point in space they were in when they left. She could either flee, or turn herself in."
"They asked if they could pass messages to each other through us, but we gave no promises. And unfortunately, Luna doesn't have a mirror like Solaris in our sister's world and Celestia do."
"Eventually, the spell was cast and they were ready to go home. However, Twilight had a plan for her alternate counterpart. I can't remember what it was but Blue's Luna seemed to approve. And then…"
E—N—D—F—L—A—S—H—B—A—C—K
Chronicle was sleeping in a tent with Twilight Sparkle and Spike. Outside their tent was a line of more tents stretching all the way across Ponyville. And they were all lined up at Sweet Apple Acres, at the head of a cider stand, where tubs of apples and stacked barrels were on hand, and one barrel had been set up on the counter and hooked to a tap. The first tent in line had three shades of pink and decorated with balloons, both on its fabric and tethered to the frame. Obviously belonging to Pinkie Pie, who had suggested them (and a couple other ponies) to camp in line so they they don't miss out on the cider before the Apple Family runs out for the day.
It reminded him of big-name conventions in Earth "client worlds", particularly the "waiting nightmare" that is Comic Con ever since the Story Crew decided to 'send down' ideas of the events that have transpired in the 'target world'… well, he can't remember the name, but in "client worlds" the story they got acquired the title of Twilight, a story about vampires that sparkle. In hindsight, that made his current charge's name a little funny.
Despite not wanting any cider ("I only get myself drunk when I've severely failed in my duty as a bodyguard, never at any other time."), Chronicle was forced to come along to help guard their position in the line. That, and his friends seem to want him to take a swig of it, which he was adamant to not do. Rarity was also in line right beind them. Rainbow Dash allegedly misses out every single season. Fluttershy has no real interest in cider. Skyla and Mystic Shield were also in line farther back.
When did my life get to this point?
C—TS—S—PP—C—TS—S—PP—C—TS—S—PP
Come morning…
The four local Apple family members were on duty at the stand: Applejack setting up a megaphone on a stand in front, Granny Smith (wearing a green eyeshade visor) and Apple Bloom behind the counter, Big Macintosh at the barrel stockpile.
At where he, Twilight, Spike, and Rarity waited in line as it slowly moved forward, Chronicle could only wait for them to reach the stand where they can get their cider and leave. Of course, he wasn't going to drink it, but given that it often runs out, maybe he cold strike a deal using it.
"Isn’t this exciting, Spike?" Twilight said as she looked back to face the dragonling. "Opening day of cider season!"
"Yeah!" he agreed. "That means it’s only thirty more days ’til sapphire season!
The three unicorns near him rolled their eyes at this as he let his tongue hang out.
"Attention, everypony!" arrived Applejack's amplified articlation. "Cider season is now officially open!"
This set off excited murmurs among the ponies, while Granny nodded to Bloom and glanced toward the open, empty cash box on the counter. Pinkie, first in line, hauled up two full bag in her teeth and emptied a shower of coins into the box, prompting Bloom to pump the tap handle and fill a waiting mug. This was plucked away and guzzled down to leave froth on Pinkie’s lips and a blissful expression on her face, which shifted gears into a huge eager smile.
A moment later, she is toting all the brimming, bubbly mugs that her forelegs can manage. Chronicle witnessed this and growled.
"Whatever is the matter?" Rarity asked him.
"You see that? This is another reason I don't like Applejack that much. She's such a terrible business pony. With a few extra hooves, her family could supply the entire town in under an hour. And yet, year after year, they refused to so much as hire a couple of salesponies—and you know she can easily access them via you—to run the stand while they put on a constant output. And with this demand for cider, they could easily raise their prices and get rich.
"And worst of all? Judging by the inevitable amount of dissatisfied customers once they're out, she doesn't even consider issuing rain checks, rationing it, and even allowing Pinkie Pie to hoard a lot. Although, the last is probably a roundabout way to spite Rainbow Dash after she abandoned her, you, and me."
"Actually, Pinkie does this every season," the white unicorn corrected him on the last part.
"If it's for Sugarcube Corner, I wouldn't be surprised if it or whatever product they make with the cider sells for more. Now if you'll excuse me…" By that time, it was his turn to order some cider. He purchased only one tankard, cross and surprised it was only two bits for such a high-demand product ("I'd pay more for this."). Once he got his drink, he stepped aside for Rarity (and everypony else behind her).
As he found a place to stand by, he took the time to examine the drink. He was aware of the difference between soft cider and hard cider; only the latter was alcoholic. It looked like soft cider, but if the foam from the drinkers told him anything, it was hard, thus it was alcoholic. And he doesn't drink alcohol outside of very specific circumstances, and that was not because he can't hold his liquor.
"Aren't you gonna drink that?" Twilight asked as she took a sip from her cider.
Chronicle turned his head and looked at a certain somepony deep in the line. "I'm gonna save it for a friend."
C—TS—S—A—BM—AB—GS—R—PP
As the hours ticked by, customer after customer purchased their draught/draft of likely alcoholic apple juice. At certain points, Bloom, still at the tap, saw that it chose the moment to dispense only a few drops and a burp of gas. A grab by Macintosh removed the emptied barrel, a nudge from his rear hooves toppled a fresh one from the pile onto his back, and he quickly hooked up the new supply. But Chronicle knew that wouldn't last the entire line. One by one, the reserve barrels began to dwindle. And then it was the final barrel.
Fluttershy finally made it to the counter. She and Rainbow both paid, and a foamy mug was dispensed for the patient yellow pegasus, who moved off to make room for her friend. The red-violet eyes grew as the tongue lolled greedily out—and then the tap ran dry—and the blue face cycled from anticipation to teary-eyed disappointment to teeth-grinding rage. She did, however, keep herself under enough control to let off only a subdued growl as Applejack walked up.
"Uh…sorry, everypony," the farmpony declared. "That’s it for today."
There were "Awww…"s from all the others in line as Rainbow flew over to her.
"Surprise, surprise," she said with lots of snark. "You ran out again!"
"Yeah, you always run out!" complained Caramel.
"For the record, I don’t mind—" and Fluttershy was interrupted by the cider-deprived speedster.
"Why can’t you make enough cider for all of us—or at least for me?"
The workhorse found herself without a ready answer as a throng of annoyed, grumbling would-be customers started to hem her in as she jumped onto the counter. "Hold on, everypony." And they all fell silent. "We’ve done our best to improve supply this year."
"You always say that!" replied Caramel.
"And it’s always true. But Apple family cider is made with love and integrity, and only the highest quality apples in Equestria. Sorry, but that recipe takes time." At that, the dissatisfied complainers—with Applejack's friends holding their tongues—all dispersed fromthe counter. "If y’all just be patient, we’ll have plenty more tomorrow."
Rainbow turned to leave, but found the ever-cheerful Pinkie standing directly behind her. "She’s right, you know. You can’t rush perfection, and this year’s batch was perfection!"
Fluttershy was now standing behind her. "Uh, Pinkie Pie?"
Pinkie zipped to Rainbow and dropped a foreleg over her shoulders. "I’ll never forget the cider I just drank," she said dreamily as she draped herself bodily over Rainbow. "It was a moment in time that will never exist again."
She voiced an ecstatic little moan, having paid no heed to Fluttershy’s warning or the steadily building fury on Rainbow’s face, its owner launching into a rising growl, the sort that would get any self-respecting dog shot on suspicion of having rabies.
This was dispelled when Chronicle came over with his tankard of cider. "Hey, Rainbow. You can have mine." I'll have to smack Pinkie later And without hesitation he levitated his tankard over to her face.
Without being the slightest suspicious, she grabbed the tankard and quaffed the entire thing down. Once she was through with the cider, her face with foam, she cried out in appreciation, "Thank you so much!" Rainbow then got up on her hind legs, ejecting Pinkie from her back, and grabbed Chronicle's head in her forelegs. "I… am in your debt!"
Before he could do anything about it, their lips locked in a full kiss, one with eyes closed and full of bliss and the other with eyes wide in shock. The second they parted, Chronicle immediately punched Rainbow in the face, sending her sprawling to the ground.
"Hey! What's with you?! There's no way a pony could get wasted this quickly on one tankard! Now I'm more afraid to drink it! And on top of that, you stole my first kiss!"
This got their friends covering their mouths in shock. First kisses, not counting those between family members (relative incest aside), is usually a big deal when it comes to romance, and it should always be reserved toward their first love (whether that becomes their true love or not is irrelevant). It's no longer a surprise that he and Fluttershy have started seeing each other, so it would be a little betraying that he thought he kissed another mare before that.
"Um, actually," Fluttershy butted in softly. "I did kiss you before. During one of our…sessions…"
Now it was Chronicle's turn to be shocked, and his mind started to think dirty thoughts. Dammit, get your head out of the gutter!
Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I accidentally punched you so hard you were immediately knocked out. Though I think bumping your head on that rock also had something to do with it. I took you home instead of the hospital, because I thought it would be awkward for me to bring you there."
"I think I understand why." For him to be knocked out by something so trivial and to be brought to the hospital or even just the library by a usually timid pony like Fluttershy would spring up a lot of questions and scandals. It was already bad enough that Gabby Gums thought there was a love triangle with him in the middle.
"And while you were resting, I was…tempted to find out what it was like to kiss somepony you really, really, really like. I took the chance, and then you woke up a few seconds after."
Like Snow White! I can't believe it! And he started blushing profusely at the thought, and she did too.
Thankfully, before any more dirt can be dug up on this awkward matter, it was interrupted by the honking of a horn. Everybody turned to look toward it and saw a vehicle chugging along the road toward the few remaining ponies in the area. It had wooden wagon wheels mounted in old-style automobile wheel wells, coiled wires, vacuum tubes, and chuffing smokestacks at the rear end of the contraption.
"What in Equestria is that?" Applejack wondered as everypony moved toward it.
Up front on the vehicle, two headlights were mounted on the front fenders, between which a speaker’s platform was mounted. A lectern stood at the front edge of this, and the front edge of a red couch poked into view from the area behind the fenders. Two pairs of cream-colored pony hind legs were extended into view, suggesting that their owners were reclining on the couch.
Macintosh and Bloom stared dumbfounded as the shadow of this thing cast itself over them and the stand, and Granny gaped from her position at a nearby fence. The cowcatcher-style front grille knocked over one post as it chuffed to a stop. The body of the vehicle was red, the fenders and running boards black, and the front wheels were much larger than the rear ones. Overall, the vehicle design was similar to that of a gigantic, open-topped antique roadster automobile, with machinery stacked up where the rear seats would go and various controls and pipes built into the side. Red/white striped hems hung down from the side edges of the front platform.
A jaunty vaudeville melody began to play, a lively 4 in time with machine noises, and in F major. I'm no music genius, so why do I understand it? Musical Number Phenomenon?
A happier-than-ever Rainbow inserted herself among the confused onlookers as the two riders jumped down just in front of the camera to look them over. From this angle, it could be seen that they are both green-eyed unicorn stallions, with carefully styled red/white-striped manes, and one of them had a red mustache. They wore straw boater hats with blue bands, blue-and-white striped vests over white shirts with sleeves rolled up, dark gray bow ties, and had tails that matched their manes. The clean-shaven one had a cutie mark that showed a single apple slice, while the mark of the mustachioed one consisted of a red apple with one slice cut out. It was quite obvious they were twin brothers.
Clean-shaven brother: Well, looky what we got here, brother of mine, it’s the same in every town
He jumped over to the crowd and closed one mare’s—namely Berry Punch's—mouth.
Clean-shaven brother: Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found
He shortly backed up to his twin.
Clean-shaven brother: Maybe they’re not aware that there’s really no need for this teary despair
Mustachioed brother: That the key that they need to solve this sad cider shortage, you and I will share♪
There came general excited talk among a knot of ponies as the twins both made their way through the crowd, waving their hats.
Brothers: Well, you got opportunity in this very community♪
Clean-shaven brother: He’s Flim
Mustachioed brother: He’s Flam
Brothers: We’re the world-famous Flim Flam Brothers♪
Traveling salesponies nonpareil♪
"Nonpa—what?" Pinkie failed to parrot, and then Flam (or was it Flim? The song was confusing), the clean-shaven brother, zipped over to her.
Nonpareil is Prench/French for “without equal". Wow, they must've been at or met somepony at Neigh Orleans. Trixie Lulamoon's hometown in Luna Equestria. They also mean those round sprinkles on some cakes, but Pinkie probably only knows them as just sprinkles.
Flim: Nonpareil, and that’s exactly the reason why, you see
Several others gathered around him; Apple Bloom, Berry Punch, Golden Harvest, Minuette, Sea Swirl, and one pegasus mare Chronicle couldn't identify. And come to think of it, he had seen these Flim Flam Brothers a couple times before, but them being world famous seemed to be a bit of a stretch.
Flim: Nopony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be where you need to be
After a kiss on Bloom’s head, and he jumped up to the platform.
Flim: And that’s a new world with tons of cider, fresh-squeezed and ready for drinking
Above, Flam (or…well, the other pony), sat on a nozzle and hose he has bent with his magic as he slid down its length.
Flam: More cider than you could drink in all your days of thinking
"I doubt that!" Rainbow replied.
The nozzle then straightened out as the brothers dropped to ground level and did another soft-shoe bit.
Flim Flam Brothers: So take this opportunity♪
And the crowd joined in.
Flim Flam Brothers and Crowd: In this very community♪
Flam: He’s Flim♪
Flim: He’s Flam♪
Flim, Flam: We’re the world-famous Flim Flam Brothers♪
Traveling salesponies nonpareil♪
Flim: I suppose by now you’re wondering ’bout our peculiar mode of transport
Flam: I say, our mode of locomotion♪
Flim then jumped to the lectern.
Flim: And I suppose by now you’re wondering, where is this promised cider?
Flam: Any horse can make a claim and anypony can do the same♪
Flim: But my brother and I have something most unique and superb
Unseen at any time in this great new world
Flim Flam Brothers: And that’s opportunity♪
The song then went into D major, modulating back to F major as the brothers started to work the crowd again.
Flim: Yes, folks, it’s the one and only, the biggest and the best♪
Flam: The unbelievable
Flim: Unimpeachable
Flam: Indispensable
Flim: I-can’t-believable
Flim Flam Brothers: Flim Flam Brothers’ Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000♪
The mustachioed brother then zipped over to Rarity. "What do you say, sister?"
The white unicorn swooned and came within an ace of hitting the ground, stopped only by Spike’s straining to hold her up. Twilight and Chronicle looked uneasily toward the enthralled spectators.
Crowd: Oh, we got opportunity in this very community♪
Please, Flim, please, Flam, help us out of this jam♪
With your Flim Flam Brothers’ Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000♪
With this synchronized singing and mention of such a long term after just hearing it once, it's confirmed without a doubt that the Musical Number Phenomenon was in effect.
Now Flim stepped up to the counter and bowed gallantly to Applejack, while the rest of the family watched from behind. "Young filly, I would be ever so honored if you might see fit to let my brother and I borrow some of your delicious, and might I add, spellbindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration here?"
"Uh, sure, I guess." With that, he darted away.
Crowd: Opportunity in our community♪
Flam: Ready, Flim♪
Flim: Ready, Flam♪
Flim Flam Brothers: Let’s bing-bang-zam♪
Two beams of unicorn magic lanced from their horns, and their spells kicked the machinery into gear.
"And show these thirsty ponies a world of delectable cider!" Flim added as the music changed to a D flat major and the overhead nozzle that Flam slid down extended on its hose, and the crowd begins to chant “Cider, cider, cider, cider” in rhythm with the music. Rainbow hovered among them, tongue hanging out. She must really want some more. In short order, the nozzle positioned itself directly above one loaded apple tree and vacuumed all the fruit from its branches.
"Watch closely, my friends!" said Flim as the load was sucked into a drum, which span up to high speed.
"The fun begins!" sand Flam as his brother stood among the machinery.
"Now here’s where the magic happens." A glass reservoir started to fill. "Right here in this heaving, roiling cider press, the coiling guts of the very machine…" Twilight, Rarity, and Spike have now joined the chant, but Chronicle (and Mystic at the back, Skyla was chanting as well) kept a calm posture and critical eye. "—those apples plucked fresh are right now as we speak, being turned into grade-A, top-notch, five-star, blow-your-horseshoes-off, one-of-a-kind cider! "
Flam: Feel free to take a sneak peek♪
And several did so. suddenly, the song shifted to stoptime E Major as an irked Granny Smith cut in, the crowd stopping in their chant.
Granny: Now wait, you fellers, hold it, you went and oversold it
She got into Flam's face.
Granny: I guarantee what you have there won’t compare
Then she turned toward the crowd…
Granny: For the very most important ingredient can’t be added or done expedient
…who started to nod in agreement.
Granny: And that’s quality, friends, Apple Acres quality and care
Now Flim turned his attention to her, having climbed down from atop the rig and normal rhythm resumed, D major, to G major and back.
"Well, Granny, I’m glad you brought that up, my dearest, I am glad you brought that up," he said. "You see that we are very picky when it comes to cider, if you’ll kindly try a cup."
As he produced a full mug on the end of this and then darted away, she took a sip and found that it sits very well with her. Something then cranked up from the machine’s general direction.
Flam: Yes, sir, yes, ma’am♪
Seen through the side window are a pair of conveyor belts. Good apples are passed with a bell, and bad ones are buzzed out and dumped off.
Flam: This great machine lets just the very best♪
So what do you say, then, Apples?♪
Care to step into the modern world♪
And put the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to the test?♪
As the crowd started its “cider” chant again, Flim said, "What do you think, folks? Do you see what the Apples can’t? I see it clear as day! I know she does! So does he! Come on, Ponyville, you know what I’m talking about!"
The music changed to a G flat major. Once the crowd stopped, the brothers did their soft-shoe bit again while Rainbow did high-altitude back flips overhead while the song's pitch changed to G flat major.
Flim Flam Brothers: We’re saying you’ve got♪
Flim Flam Brothers and Crowd: Opportunity in this very community♪
He’s Flim, he’s Flam, we’re the world-famous Flim Flam Brothers♪
Traveling salesponies nonpareil♪
Flim Flam Brothers: Yeah!♪
And with that, the song ended.
"You got a deal!" Bloom was quick to "jump the gun". And there were agreeable murmurs from the crowd. And somewhere in it, the sound of a smack could be heard as well as a cry of pain from Pinkie, but it was mostly ignored in favor of the current situation.
Granny was just as quick to quell the notion with an angry stomp. "Not so fast!" The four Apples then gathered in a huddle. "No way, nohow that machine matches up with the care we put in our cider!"
"But if it really does work, we could make everypony in town happy."
"I just don’t know, y’all." Applejack was unsure as unbeknownst to the four earth ponies, the Flim Flam brothers confidently slipped into the huddle without alerting them. "We’ve always made cider the same way."
Macintosh agreed as curtly as ever. "Ee-yup." And then he finally noticed the unicorn twins in the huddle, as did the others. "Huh?"
"We’ll sweeten the deal," offered Flim. "You supply the apples…"
"…we supply the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000," continued Flam.
"Then we split those sweet, sweet profits…" Both.
"…seventy-five…" Flim.
"…twenty-five." Flam.
"Deal!" Bloom was quick again to "jump the gun", but Applejack’s hoof clapped over her mouth.
"Hold on." The huddle was then broken. "Who gets the seventy-five?"
Flim leaned over to her. "Why, us, naturally."
Flam flared his horn briefly. "And we’ll throw in the magic to power the machine for free!"
Applejack stepped away from the brothers for a quick talk with the family. "Cider sales keep our business afloat through the winter. We’d lose Sweet Apple Acres if we agree to this."
"So, what'll it be?" the twins asked.
Macintosh gave the Apple Family verdict. "No deal."
"Hmph. Very well," said Flim. "If you refuse our generous offer to be partners, then we’ll just have to be competitors."
"You wouldn’t dare!" said Applejack.
"Oh, no?"
His nod across the way was Flam’s cue to address the crowd from the 6000’s platform. "Don’t you worry, everypony!" the other twin addressed the crowd. "There'll be plenty of cider for all of you!" There were excited reactions from the crows.
"Once we drive Sweet Apple Acres out of business," Flim then added to the Apples, eliciting a quadraphonic gasp from them.
"What?!" gasped Bloom.
C—TS—S—A—BM—AB—GS—RD—R—F—PP—FFB
Eyecatch (picture-type) - On the left side is the Flim Flam brothers and their Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. On the right side is the Apple family and their farm. The show's logo is seen on the upper center.
C—TS—S—A—BM—AB—GS—RD—R—F—PP—FFB
The next morning…
It was another day of buying cider, with a very new and very long line of expectant cider buyers stretching over the hills toward Ponyville, just as before. The fence post knocked down by the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 has been repaired. Pinkie was first up, dropping a few coins into the cash box and receiving a mug. Just like yesterday, as the customers kept coming, Chronicle—who was this time standing with his charge, her assistant, and the contender against the Flim Flam brothers—stood nearby, and could see that the cider would run out again long before they reached the end of the line.
"Still worried about Flim and Flam?" Twilight asked her friend as Macintosh brought in a new barrel.
"Granny Smith says they were just blowing hot air," said Spike.
"I’m not so sure," argued the farmpony. "They sounded mighty serious when they threatened to run us outta business."
"They could've negotiated further and come up with a deal that could've satisfied both parties," Chronicle put in his two bits. "And your family should've at least tried to haggle with the brothers. There is no need for all this competition. And you should consider consulting Rarity on business advice, Applejack. She does run deals with various enterprises in Canterlot. And before you shut me down, farms are just as much a business as any other job, and farmers as a whole supply the entire population. A pretty darn important job if you ask me. Being a huge clan can have its merits."
"How d'ya know so much about business?"
"I only know enough to see that this could've easily been avoided. I've served enough charges in the past to get an idea on how business in general operates. And given how old we are, we should know this."
"That's it!" Apple Bloom cried out, indicating the dripping tap. "Last cup!"
The queued-up locals groaned loudly, and Rainbow rose into view from the top of the farthest hill. "OH, FOR PETE’S SAKE!!"
"Come on back tomorrow, everypony!"
There came general disgruntlement from the denied customers. Rainbow has clapped a foreleg over her eyes in disgust, but lowered it at the sound of the 6000 cranking up. Applejack fell out from her position, looking up wide-eyed as the thing’s shadow advanced over her, and Granny nailed in the new fence post just in time for the front grille to knock it over again. She threw a venomous glare up at the 6000 as Flim disembarked and sidled up to Applejack.
"What seems to be the problem here?" Flim asked as Flam slipped in on her other side.
"Oh my, oh my! Out of cider again?"
At the 6000’s rear end, there was a shelf loaded with barrels and an attached chute. Flim reclined against one rear fender as a barrel was lowered into position.
"What have we here?" said Flim as it rolled down the chute and was flipped upward, landing near the front wheels. "Who’d like a cup?"
Twilight, Applejack, and Spike were promptly swept up in a stampede of clamoring ponies, with dust boiling up while Chronicle—seeing it come a mile away—already got out of the way. In less than five seconds, Flim and Flam stood before them, each with one foreleg propped on the barrel.
Flam levitated a mug. "Don’t worry, everypony!" Applejack gasped in surprise and ducked down somewhere. "We’ve got the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to make more in an instant!"
On the end of this, the mug was floated to Rainbow, who slipped a hoof through its handle and prepared to slake her thirst. Before she could get a mouthful, though, Applejack came up with a rope in her teeth and lassoed the barrel away, to the salesponies’ great surprise. It knocked the mug from Rainbow’s grip as she yanked it back and planted it in front of herself, plunking both forelegs on top.
"You can’t sell that cider!" The airborne tankard hit the dirt, its contents spilling out and soaking in as Rainbow frantically leaned down over the mess. With no more liquid handy, she scooped up the saturated earth and shoveled it into her mouth. "That’s made from Apple family apples!"
Rainbow stood up, her face dirty. "Is this some kind of cruel joke?"
"How can you tell the apples are from yours?" Chronicle asked the farmer after teleporting over. He wasn't answered.
"Don’t worry, everypony!" Flim meanwhile advertized. "There are plenty of apples in Equestria. We’ll find some others and make more cider than all of Ponyville can drink!"
The crowd gasped as Bloom jumped out in front of them. "We’ll make more cider than you could ever imagine!"
Flam reacted with alarm, but the nearest onlookers gasped in her direction. The defiant filly was suddenly yanked away by the tail by Macintosh and was now dangling upside down before Applejack and Granny.
"Now it ain’t about the speed, young’un, it’s about quality," said Granny.
The crowd "Awww…"ed in disappointment.
Rainbow hovered over them, her face now clean. "Who cares how good the cider is if I never get to drink any?"
Flim came up to her and pinched her cheeks between his forelegs. "Aw, look at these poor dissatisfied ponies."
"Ponyville is Sweet Apple cider country!" Bloom cried out as Macintosh dropped her.
"Our cider speaks for itself!" added Applejack.
"Let’s put it to the test," challenged Flim as he lounged on the 6000’s couch.
"Anywhere, anytime!" Bloom then smirked over her shoulder as murmurs floated from the crowd.
Granny leaned in toward her. "Uh, that’s enough now."
"With our machine, we can make enough cider in one hour to satisfy this entire town!" Flam advertised.
The filly then pushed her grandmother back. "We’ll do it in forty-five minutes!"
As the crowd continued to register its surprise, Chronicle thought, Don't tell me this is what they intended to do the whole time!
Meanwhile, Flim relaxed on the couch with his boater tipped forward over his eyes. "Easy, Apple Bloom, easy," Granny tried to calm her down.
"What’s the matter, Granny Smith? Chicken?" the clean-shaven brother taunted.
That last word hit a nerve under the white mane as Chronicle groaned at the increasing unnecessary conflict that could've been solved with both parties satisfied. It looks like however that the brothers were after a "quick buck" and had as much business sense as the Apple family.
"What did you call me, sonny?" Granny said icily to Flim.
"If you’re so confident in your cider, then what’s the problem?"
She leaned into his face with renewed ire. "Tomorrow mornin’, right here!"
Flam floated an apple toward himself. "But I’m afraid we haven’t any…" He then spit on it before polishing on the vest. "…apples."
"You can use our south field! It’ll be worth it to teach y’all a thing or two ’bout cider-making!"
Flim sat up from the couch. "Excellent! We have a bet. Whoever produces the most barrels in one hour wins the exclusive right to sell cider in Ponyville."
Sweat beaded on Applejack's brow as her eyes popped wide open and the green irises shrank almost to points, but the brothers just aimed a pair of cocky grins straight ahead.
"She's gonna fall for the bait," Chronicle whispered to himself. "She's too riled up."
One cream-colored hoof and one wrinkled green one shortly shook to seal the agreement. "And after we beat you, I don’t never want to see you bambahoozlers around here again!"
And she doesn't even consult her children on the matter. She's putting the family's livelihood in jeopardy.
As Granny stalked off, Twilight and Applejack traded an uneasy look, as did Macintosh and Bloom, while the onlookers talked amongst themselves. From the 6000’s platform, the brothers regarded the scene.
"Until…tomorrow," Flam said as he and Flim bowed and tipped their hats. With that, the rig chugged away down the road, leaving Applejack staring nervously after them.
She turned to Twilight, who responded, "Don’t worry, Applejack. I know you’ll win tomorrow."
"We’d better, ’cause if we don’t…" The farmpony walked past her. "…we’re gonna lose our farm."
The throng slowly disperses to leave the four kinfolk standing despondently around the cider stand.
"Wait, what?" This left Chronicle confused as he walked over. "How are you gonna lose the farm if they get the exclusive rights to sell cider? I'm sure I didn't hear anything regarding rights to this property during the entire exchange. They'll need to buy the apples from you after the competition should they win."
"Cider sales is what keeps us afloat through winter. We lose the cider business, we essentially go bankrupt and we'll end up losing the farm anyway."
"But while you might lose the rights to sell cider, you instead just have to sell apples to the Flim Flam brothers, and you get to name the price."
"Maybe. But your doubts about our business sense seem t' hold water. Now that I look at 'em, I dunno whatever the deals those Flim Flam brothers will make with us in the future—"
"I get what you mean. You can't tell if their next deal will be favorable at all for you." Chronicle then raised a hoof and rested it on Applejack's back. "Don't worry. We got your back."
"Thanks. Another thing. The reason I came to what I concluded is because we're still our cider sales here is our only way to recover, 'specially after the parasprites eatin' the farm infrastructure, my failed attempt at makin' profits from the Gala, the buildin' of another new side-barn, and Spike stealin' our crops when he was all big."
"…Oh. Never really realized the toll that must've put. Sorry."
"S'all right."
C—TS—A—AB—GS—RD—FFB—C—TS—A—AB—GS—RD—FFB
The next day…
Rows of ponies have gathered at the fence on either side of the Apple Family cider stand to observe the goings-on. Beyond it was a dirt path leading through a meadow bordered by groves of apple trees, with the Apples and the brothers set up on opposite sides. Mayor Mare stood on the path in the distance, between the two groups and with an hourglass. Spike was near her, as was Doctor Whooves (his look-alike, Time Turner, was in the audience), who had put on a white shirt collar and green necktie for the occasion.
Macintosh was wearing a pair of goggles propped on his forehead, as he trotted in place to limber up his hooves. Granny was at a couple of empty apple tubs, having donned a pair of eyeglasses on a jeweled chain and was sniffing deeply at an apple she wa holding. Elsewhere, Applejack had set up a heavy bag and is taking a few practice bucks, with Bloom hanging on to provide extra weight. Twilight and Chronicle walked over to these two.
"Applejack, are you sure this is such a good idea?" Twilight asked.
"Me and the family are…" Applejack said between bucks. "…a hundred percent confident…in our cider-makin’ capabilities."
"And besides, nopony calls Granny a chicken!" Bloom added before the next buck sent her flying.
As Twilight turned the situation over a few dozen times in her head, Chronicle took the time to voice his opinion. "Whether or not it's a good idea, there's no turning back. I just feel like you've been warned about this somehow."
The farmpony reflected on this, trying to recall a certain earth pony who had joined the group for a while and told her that warning. But before the name could come to mind, the Mayor's voice cut in. "Attention, everypony!"
"Well, good luck," Twilight finally said before waking off, her bodyguard saluting the competing family before following as a badly disoriented Bloom staggered back to her big sister.
"Thanks, guys," Applejack replied as Bloom collapsed. "We’ll need it."
"The teams have one hour to produce as much cider as they can, after which the barrels will be counted and the winner will be named the sole cider provider for all of Ponyville," announced the Mayor. On the end of this, Flim and Flam were on the 6000’s couch, the former holding a tankard, and they smirked at each other. Murmurs came from the crowd. "Are both teams ready?"
Macintosh socked his goggles into place, Granny glared toward the adversaries with a snort, Bloom blew her mane back from her face, and Applejack stood resolutely at the fore. "Ready!"
Flam raised a foreleg as they replied leisurely, "Ready."
"Then let’s…" The Doctor inverted the hourglass. As soon as the sand started to run— "GO!"
All but Granny raced toward their base of operations, while she shambled after them at her usual arthritic pace. The two brothers didn't stir from their couch. Flam just yawned in a bored manner as both fired up their horns. Extending over the treetops, the nozzle stopped at one particular tree and sucked up its apples. At ground level, Applejack relied on hind-leg power to bring down a load for Bloom to catch in a tub on her head. The filly then brought the fruit over to Granny for inspection and whisked an empty tub away.
The high end of a chute extended behind the old green mare, who sniffed one apple at a time, throwing aside the bad ones and tossing the good ones into the chute. "Ugh! Bad ’un… good ’un…" The good apples rolled toward a large, rotating stone wheel… "bad ’un…" …dropping off the end near the wheel and was crushed to pulp.
The stone wheel was being run by a treadmill on its other side, with Macintosh racing along to power the press. As soon as each good apple dropped in, the whirling mass pulverized it to generate a steady stream of cider that flowed from a tap into a waiting barrel. The moment the vessel was full, Macintosh stepped off, slapped on a lid, banged the full one aside with an empty one, then got back on the treadmill.
"Great job, y’all!" Applejack called as she bucked a tree. We’ve already filled an entire barrel!"
Her little sister zipped in with a tub to catch them on the end of this, then zipped to Granny to set it down. "I’ll bet you those guys don’t even have—" The sentence trailed off as she Granny, and Macintosh voiced a wide-eyed triplicate gasp at the 6000’s draining reservoirs. "What?"
At the rear end of the vehicle, a full barrel was swiftly ejected onto the chute and flipped away to land neatly atop five other barrels. The brothers waved mockingly at the family. Applejack swallowed hard, doubting the possibility of victory for her family.
C—TS—S—A—BM—AB—GS—MM—DH—FFB
Eyecatch (picture-type) - On the left side is the Flim Flam brothers and their Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 in operation. On the right side is the Apple family doing their best to pump out the cider. The show's logo is seen on the upper center and just before the eyecatch ends, colored silhouettes of other ponies flash in on the Apple family side.
C—TS—S—A—BM—AB—GS—MM—DH—FFB
The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000's nozzle continued to suck apples off the trees, its quality control system filtered the apples, and its rear chute continued chucking off full barrels. The machine's smooth and fast operating was doing a toll on Apple Bloom's psyche, leaving her shell-shocked and making her forget to catch the falling apples in the tub on her head.
"Come on, Apple Bloom, focus!" her sister brought her back to her senses. "We gotta forget those guys if we’re gonna have a chance of winnin’!"
Bloom shook her head clear. "Sorry, sis!" She then rushed to Granny with a full tub. "Better keep up, Granny! We’re fallin’ behind!"
The Apple matriarch now stood among a backlog of loads as Bloom grabbed an empty tub in her teeth and sprinted back, leaving the sweating Granny to wipe her tired eyes. "Good ’un…" Macintosh—incredible as it might seem—was flagging badly on the treadmill hooked to the cider press. "…ugh! Bad ’un…"
"Rest when it’s over, Big Macintosh!" Applejack spurred him on. "Ride! Ride!"
Summoning up his second or third or seventeenth wind, he put on a burst of speed so that cider positively gushed from the tap.
At the fence, Applejack’s six friends continued to watch. "This is just dreadful!" commented Rarity as Macintosh sealed the filling barrel and brought in a new one. "Even at top speed, the Apples are only making one barrel to the twins’ three!"
Indeed, at the 6000 and its reclining operators, the fresh loads of product were joining an uncomfortably tall stack. Twilight chewed the production problem over in her mind for a second, then advanced grimly toward Spike and the Mayor.
"Um, Ms. Mayor!" she said as the others joined her. "Are honorary family members allowed to help in the competition?"
"Well, I’m not sure." The Mayor then addressed the brothers, whose machine was still going great guns. "Flim? Flam? Would you object to honorary family members helping?"
"Are you kidding?" Flim replied smugly as he drank from a mug.
"We don’t care if the whole kingdom of Canterlot helps!" added Flam. "It’s a lost cause."
"Hmm…" Chronicle was tempted to do just that as he pulled out a sleek black ocarina from hammerspace. It was a magical one, given to him by Princess Luna last Nightmare Night, after an impressive duel against her, in the same way he dueled Sunny Skies, a.k.a. Princess Celestia. One tune and she'll be here. But she trusted him not to use it so trivially or when a problem can be solved without her, so he put it back, but didn't remove the smirk from his face.
"Oh, my. I guess it’s okay." The Mayor then turned to the Apples. "Applejack, what do you think?"
Applejack delivered a furious buck to the nearest tree and stood upright, her perspiring face lined with fatigue. "I think I’d love to have the rest of my family helpin’ out."
Twilight let out a smile, and the rest whooped, "All right!" Behind them, Lyra Heartstrings jumped in time with them in cheer.
The decision threw only the briefest of scares into the cider hucksters, but the next declaration would throw them a bit more off.
"If it matters, we'd like to assist as well."
From the crowd emerged Golden Harvest, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and another Chronicle, who winked before vanishing, having turned out to be a magic clone. All three girls held resolute stares at the brothers. It was the mare who had spoken.
"We Cutie Mark Crusaders gotta stick together!" added the pegasus filly.
"That's right!" agreed the young unicorn.
"Go on right ahead," humored Flam. The Mayor nodded in approval as the three fell in line with the other five backup troops and stood to attention as Twilight paced sternly down their line.
"Okay, everypony," said the Spirit of Magic. "We’re not gonna let those smooth talkers take our friend’s farm."
"Yeah!" everypony agreed.
"My father entrusted his and my farm to the Apples," Carrot added. "No way I'm gonna let those twins just take it."
Twilight then moved to each in turn. "Fluttershy, help Applejack with the trees."
"Got it!"
"I'm helping with the bucking," the orange-headed mare said.
Twilight took no time to argue and hoped Carrot would deliver, proceeding to the next pony. "Pinkie Pie, you’re on apple-catching detail. You too, Scootaloo!"
The party pony gave a salute. "Yes, sir, ma’am, sir!" The pegasus filly did the same without a word and Twilight acknowledged that as a volunteer.
"Rarity, you’ve got a discerning eye. Help Granny Smith at the quality control station."
"Of course!" The fashionista turned to her younger sister. "Sweetie Belle, go on and help your friends in bringing the apples. I trust you're not as clumsy anymore, right?"
"Don't worry about me, sis! No way I'll let them down!"
Twilight smiled at the strengthened trust, then turned to the next. "Rainbow Dash, do you think you can help Big Macintosh press?"
"In my sleep!"
"Chronicle—"
Before Twilight could delegate him on a task, he was ahead of her, "I'll assist in the apple collecting."
"Okay." She then addressed all of them. "All right, everypony. Let’s save Sweet Apple Acres!"
"All right!" And they all got to action stations.
C—TS—GH—A—BM—AB—GS—RD—R—F—PP—MM—S—SB—FFB
Just before everypony got to work, Chronicle decided to plant a marker for a relay point, where they would meet with Sweetie Belle and pass their full tub of apples to her so they can quickly get back to collecting, only bypassing it when she's in the process of delivering a tub over to the quality control station where her sister and Granny Smith are. He could trust she can bring the tubs safely, but catching them is a different matter. Besides, it would save on a little stamina for everypony.
Applejack galloped toward a tree to buck it. As the apples fell loose, Fluttershy flew past and disappeard among the boughs of a neighboring tree. A quick shake dislodged all the fruit, and she zoomed to another one for a repeat performance. Carrot Top was bucking just like her apple rival, but needed to do two bucks to get them all down. Ever since her encounter with the other Carrot Top (who was the Element of Generosity in that world), she had started exercising a bit more.
Running past her, Pinkie galloped up with an empty tub on her head. "Over there, Apple Bloom!" she said as she pointed right ahead. "Don’t miss them!"
Bloom slid up to catch some in her own tub before pointing back. "Right behind you, Pinkie Pie!"
The pink earth pony did a high backflip, the tub making a perfect touchdown on her cranium so that a few apples landed neatly within. Scootaloo rushed past them with a full tub to the relay point. Chronicle quickly caught up with her, levitating two near himself, and using an enhance speed spell on his legs. While he could use magic clones to further speed up the entire process, he didn't do so for the same reasons Twilight didn't just harvest every single tree in sight with her magic; this was a contest of philosophies, Flim Flam Brothers way vs. Apple family way, and adding too much of their magic in the effort would be unfair to both parties as well as defeat the purpose of the entire contest.
The two reached the relay point, where Sweetie just returned from delivering a full tub, bringing an empty tub to pass to the apple-catchers. The unicorn stallion just quickly ran past the point, saying, "All yours, Scootaloo!" The pegasus filly nodded and traded her full tub to her fellow Crusader for the empty one before returning to the orchard.
At the quality control station, Granny was now sorting at high speed. "Good ’un…bad ’un…bad ’un…good ’un…"
Rarity was nearby, standing behind her own clutch of loaded tubs, levitating the apples and filtering through them with her eye for detail and 'tossing' them appropriately. "Lovely…horrid…horrid…lovely…"
Rainbow, meanwhile, was galloping on the treadmill alongside Macintosh. A knowing smile passed between the two while cider poured into the barrel. Once it was full, Twilight telekinetically sealed it, whisked it away, and brought in a new one. While doing this, she took notes with a levitated quill and scroll.
"Based on these figures, we’re making five barrels for every three of theirs!" The crowd cheered at Twilight's analysis.
"Keep it up, everypony!" ushered Applejack. "We’re back in this!"
"They still have a huge lead, though," said Chronicle as he stopped at the relay point to grab a full tub from Pinkie, then running back to the quality control station with it. "I'm not sure we can catch up in time."
The leading Apple's pronouncement put enough of a scare into Flim to propel his mouthful of cider into Flam’s face. They either hadn't heard Chronicle's doubts or it passed right over their minds.
Flim grabbed Flam’s shoulders. "Come on, brother! We’ve gotta pick up the pace!"
"Right! Uh, double the power!"
Twin beams from their horns kicked the 6000 into overdrive, sending sparks up through the vacuum tubes and flinging the vacuum nozzle toward the trees. It sucked up a fresh load of apples handily enough, but the power boost caused it to pull in entire trees as well. Oh no! Fluttershy's gonna have a fit! Think of all the nests and burrows in there! Rotten apples, leaves, twigs, mulch—all were swiftly rejected at the inspection station as a panicked Flim watched. "We gotta try something else!"
"I’ve got it, brother of mine!"
Standing next to a set of start/stop buttons beneath a green check mark—the power switch for this module, Flam turned it—the quality control—off. Every piece of junk to hit the conveyors got passed along and winds up in the reservoirs.
"Well done, Flam!" His brother said as nasty-looking barrels were flung off the rear chute. "We’re at top productivity!" They then traded a knee/hoof high five as the crowd cheered.
Over at the Apples’ cider press, Rainbow was so distracted by the news that she hovers off the treadmill, and Macintosh got dragged under with a yell.
"Come on, Rainbow Dash! Keep grinding!" Twilight called out to her.
"We don’t have time for quality control if we want to win this thing!" The speedster flew off, leaving a rainbow contrail and forcing Granny to cry out and duck among her apple tubs.
"Get back, you!" said the family matriarch. "One bad apple spoils the bunch!"
"Applejack, help me!"
"There’s no point in winnin’ if we cheat!"
"We’ll just have to work harder. Come on, everypony!" Twilight boosted everypony's morale.
With renewed fire, Rainbow decided to get back in the game. "All right, then! Double time!"
The Flim Flam brothers might win this competition, but they're not gonna win the town's favor. …Oh wait! So that's what Moonbow Peek's fortune for Applejack meant!
C—TS—GH—A—BM—AB—GS—RD—R—F—PP—MM—S—SB—FFB
Spike watched worriedly at the rapidly emptying hourglass.
The 6000 kept sucking up trees to fill the mechanism with slop, while Applejack and Carrot bucked for all they were worth and Fluttershy did her aerial agitation.
Bloom, Scootaloo, Chronicle, and Pinkie hurried across the grove/Sweetie's relay point with full tubs, giving the Rarity/Granny sorting operation no shortage of raw material.
Stallion and daredevil kept the press whirling at insane RPMs.
Spike covered his eyes as the sand kept draining.
Flim and Flam took it easy on their couch.
Levitating a few more barrels onto the Apples’ stack, Twilight threw a split-second glance to Applejack, who returned a fierce one of her own.
All the while, while everypony else began to slowly panic, Chronicle's expression was one of certainty, as if the battle's already won.
The baby dragon uncovered one eye as the last few grains slipped through the neck of the hourglass.
"Time’s up!" the Mayor finally declared.
All the workers in the Apple family team stopped. An exhausted moan from all thirteen throats was followed by all of those bodies hitting the deck and gasping for breath. The crowd erupted into wild cheering as the Mayor started counting the barrels to herself.
"I’m proud of you, Applejack," Twilight said as she lay next to her friend.
"Thanks."
"Integrity like that…will always be…rewarded."
"That it will," agreed Chronicle, who lay on his belly next to them, huffing and puffing only a bit less than the others. "Even if it…doesn't look like it."
The two mares looked at him in confusion before then looking at the production runs… the brothers’ stack was nearly twice as tall and broad as the Apples’!
"Flim and Flam win!" announced the Mayor.
"What?" the crowd gasped softly.
Bloom walked up by her now-erect sister. "W…w…"
"We…lost?" she finished as Flim and Flam crossed to them.
"Aw, too bad, Apples," Flim said with mocking consolation.
"Guess you’ll just have to find a new line of work that doesn’t match your names quite so perfectly," added Flam as everypony was all upright.
"Now should we tear down all these tacky old buildings and put up new ones, brother?"
"I don’t see why not, brother. After all…" He magically dropped a cord into view. "…this isn’t Sweet Apple Acres anymore. How about…" He then pulled it. At the cider stand, a rolled banner winked into being in front of the Apples’ sign and opened to block it out. The new one depicted silhouettes of the two brothers’ heads—light blue for Flim, pink for Flam—using their magic on a mug of cider between them. "…Flim Flam Fields!"
Rainbow furiously rose off the ground. "I oughta press you into jerk cider!" Bue she was stopped short by a yank from the vicinity of her tail by Applejack, who had snagged a mouthful of it to halt her just outside striking distance of the brothers. The farmhoof let go a moment later.
"No, Rainbow Dash. A deal’s a deal." Flim and Flam began to laugh like chiché villains. "Congratulations to y’all. The cider business in Ponyville…" She dropped her head. "…is yours." She then turned to the family and led them away. "Come on, Apples. Let’s go pack up our things."
"Hold on a second!" Chronicle decided to step in. "The deal was for the rights to sell cider, not the ownership of the farm!"
"I guess you weren't here earlier, when we decided to up the ante with the Apples," Flam told him.
"It's true," confessed Granny as she stopped. "A few hours before the competition, they came to me to discuss the new terms. They got me riled up like last time, and before I knew it, I had put the farm at stake."
"And you did not consult this with your children?!" gasped the Ponyvillian unicorn. The aged earth pony just turned away in shame. "And does the Mayor know of this?"
"Yes," the (not-actually-)gray-haired mare replied as she revealed a scroll of paper. "During the competition, Flim showed me proof of their new agreement." Chronicle just frowned at this as the smirking pair turned to the knot of thunderstruck observers nearby.
"Fear not, everypony!" Flim announced. "There’s more than enough cider to go around!" That gloating laugh started up again as Applejack and her kin plodded slowly off. She stopped to address the crowd.
"Go ahead, everypony." But none of them moved. "Go on, y’all." She then turned away, tears in her eyes. "It’s okay."
She then walked past Twilight, a waterfall-crying Pinkie, and a consoling Rainbow. she also passed Golden Harvest, who just gave a look of mixed sorrow and scorn; the look of seeing a rival lose to someone other than them. Sweetie Belle was also crying uncontrollably, and Scootaloo was doing her best to hold back the tears as they gave a farewell hug to their fellow Cutie Mark Crusader. Strangely, Chronicle still looked optimistic, as if there was still a chance yet for the Apple family to win, even after the final verdict had been delivered.
Meanwhile, Flim and Flam have set up shop at the cider stand. The barrels were stacked up behind them, and full mugs of a decidedly strange brew were ready for sampling.
"Drink up, Ponyville!" Flam announced. Three were picked up by Cherry Berry, Bon Bon, and Comet Tail. "Down the hatch!"
They chugged the stuff uncertainly, and the two salesponies smiled confidently across the counter. That certainty disappeard in the very short time that it took for the muck to be spat directly into their faces as the drinkers choked and gagged.
"I can’t get this taste off my tongue!" Cherry.
"Mine’s got rocks in it!" Bon Bon.
"I wouldn’t pay one bit for this dreck!" Comet.
And with that, Chronicle's smirk grew wider. So they didn't pick the good ones from the bottom of their stack. Such noobs.
Flam was flabbergasted. "You wouldn’t pay even one cent?"
"No!" The crowd was united in their disapproval.
A quick, whispered conference between the brothers ensued. "How about two cups for one cent?"
"NO!"
Another one. "Two bits for the barrel?" they pleaded.
"NO!!" And the real final verdict was delivered.
Flam laughed nervously. "It looks like we’ve encountered a slight…" He and Flim doffed their hats. "…problem here in Ponyville." Both did a soft-shoe bit.
"Nopony wants our product." His hat went back on. "Next town?" As did Flam’s.
"Next town." They then raced off, rolling back up their banner and banishing it.
"Let’s go, Flim!" The two then boarded the 6000.
"Let’s go, Flam!"
And with that, the magical cider-making contraption chugged off along the road, back the way it came. A second after that, one of Ponyville's officers seemed to have realized something and immediately went after them.
"Get back here, you're under arrest!" yelled Hot Pursuit. As it was, the brothers crimes were the following: not paying the Apple Family for the apples they used and the trees they destroyed with their machine, and property damage. They could have been arrested. Unfortunately for Pursuit, they had a spell for thwarting pursuers and used it on him to stall him long enough for him to give up on the chase for now and return to Ponyville. He'll be setting up wanted posters, though.
The Ponyvillians surprisingly didn't decide to form a mob to go after them, only caring for the moment that the Apple family won't be leaving after all. "They’re gone!" gasped Applejack as Twilight and Chronicle walked over.
"That means Sweet Apple Acres is still in business!" said the unicorn mare.
Already, the crowd was forming a line. "Plus, we can have high-quality Apple family cider!" commented Caramel.
"Because of this silly competition, we’ve made enough of our cider for the whole town!" Bloom added. The crowd then cheered the good tidings as her fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders pounced on her for a group hug, and the other three Apple family members traded a round of grateful smiles. Carrot Top in particular gave her rival a smile of relief.
And deciding that cider was cider in the end, regardless of who made it, even if he wasn't planning to drink any, Chronicle called in Mystic Shield and Skyla, the former in turn called in his students, the latter in turn rallied some of the pegasi, and they disposed of the bad cider barrels of the Flim Flam brothers to get to the good cider barrels below.
C—TS—S—GH—A—BM—AB—GS—RD—R—F—PP—MM—S—SB—FFB
Dear Princess Celestia,
“I wanted to share my thoughts with you. … “I didn’t learn anythin’! I was right all along! If you take your time to do things the right way, your work’ll speak for itself. Sure, I could tell you I learned somethin’ about how my friends are always there to help me, and I can count on them no matter what. But truth is, I knew that already too.
P.S. Applejack may not have actually learned anything and instead just reaffirmed a lesson already learned, but if there's anypony who should be sending this letter, it's Ponyville. They were at first ungrateful towards the Apple family for not having enough cider for everyone but finally realized the value of quality over quantity in the end. Also, I believe the Apples should learn that it's best to have both quality and quantity over favoring just one of the two when it comes to sales.
SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM
"How were you looking so sure of our victory, even after we lost?" Applejack later asked Chronicle as they and their friends stood together around a table (the kind seen in bars without chairs) with their tankards of cider. He still wasn't planning on drinking his, however.
"It's just like Moonbow Peek said; 'An oncoming threat to your farm is due to come in a season. Your defeat is imminent, but victory will be absolute.' It has been a season since she related that fortune to you, and the threat came in the form of the Flim Flam brothers. And you lost the competition, but you still won in the end."
"I still think it's just a very freaky coincidence." Twilight was still skeptical. "Her wording was vague enough to mean just about anything."
"That's the point of non-charlatan fortune tellers, so that you can't change the future just by hearing it. And there are still a few more fortunes of hers that have yet to come to pass. We'll see by then. And 'mean just about anything'? Come now, just how many scenarios can there be where you lose, but yet you win?"
"Hmm… not many come to mind."
"Maybe the threat could've been some sort of huge monster, or bandits!" Pinkie suggested. "And we would get our butts kicked trying to beat 'em before Princess Celestia comes out of nowhere to save the day!"
"A monster I'd believe, but bandits? You know I've been able to handle any ransom situation I concern myself with."
"Yeah," agreed Rainbow. "During that last attack from those Discord cultists, when one of them had a knife on Fluttershy, you went nuts and took down the whole lot of them, and she didn't even get hurt!" She then noticed the pony she mentioned wince. "Sorry."
"It's okay."
"I won't let any harm you can't handle come to you whenever I can," Chronicle assured his marefriend, then turned to face the farmpony. "Another thing, Applejack. The Flim Flam brothers never had a chance of getting your farm. Even if they had won the competition fairly, or if the town didn't hate them by them giving the good batch and thus earning their favor, Princess Celestia wouldn't have let this stand. Keeping the Elements of Harmony together is too important for Equestria's (and possibly the entire planet's) security to allow you to leave us. Also, I don't think she'd allow a pair of con ponies to keep that land after personally bestowing it to your family, who are Ponyville's founders. Yes, it sounds a but unfair, but sometimes those sort of things have to be done."
"Wow," commented Twilight. "I guess you do have a point there."
"Still, it's best not to hold out on her. There are many problems we can deal with on our own, whether it's by diplomacy, competition, charisma, intimidation, guile, or combat. We should call in help only when we need it, and we shouldn't turn away those who offer assistance if we can trust them. Good thing the Flim Flam brothers decided on the contest instead of just selling their cider on the spot right next. Then again, they needed the farm's apples, and and the Apple family could've simply denied them, though the town might not have liked that, and things would've been very different. Anyway…" The sole stallion then raised his tankard. "A toast to another victory for the Elements of Harmony!"
"Yeah!" They clunked their mugs together, and the girls promptly chugged theirs. at the same time, Pinkie used her other hoof to tip Chronicle's tankard up so that he ended up drinking as well. The deliciousness of the pressed apple juice was too delicious for him to clamp up and have it splatter all over his face. He just hoped there won't be any buzzing in his head; that was the first sign of the drink being alcoholic.
All seven of them then put their mugs down to savor the taste of the cider, the stallion amongst them waiting for the buzz of intoxication to make itself known. The mares meanwhile just laughed for a while before noticing their friend remain silent for a full minute. Before anypony could speak up, he went first.
"Applejack, why does your cider foam if it's not at all alcoholic? I thought only hard cider foams. Unless it's different around here."
"I'll admit I've never checked out any cider other than ours, so I wouldn't be able to tell. Sorry."
"Eh, it's worth a shot. You do plan on warning the entire Apple family of these Flim Flam brothers, right?"
"Of course I do! What kinda Apple would I be if I weren't to tell the family 'bout those goons? In fact, first thing tomorrow, Granny and I'll be takin' the train to warn the nearest Apple family farm."
"Good. You will take up my offer, right?" They'll need it to compensate for their lost apple trees.
The farmpony gave a sigh, as if reluctantly accepting. "…Fine. I will consult Rarity on business advice."
The addressed pony beamed at the news. "Oh my! That's wonderful! I've been meaning to do so for quite some time now, but due to the fact that you can be stubborn sometimes, I didn't want you to feel like I was imposing."
Chronicle tuned the eventual discussion out as he went to the cider stall for another mug of soft cider. He would later find out that the apple family also sold hard cider on certain days, and while he'll hang out with his friends if they're there, he won't be drinking that cider.
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