• Member Since 11th Feb, 2012
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nightelf37


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{This story is actually rated Everyone for the most part, but a few chapters have a more…mature theme, thus requiring the whole fic to be rated Teen. I believe among these is the Deadpool chapter (you'll know it when you find it), and the brutality in "The Return of Harmony" arc.}

Basically, it's a retelling of the popular "Friendship is Magic" TV series with an OC (Original Character) added. No, my OC will not be a self-insert or Mary Sue in any way, shape, or form ( at least I try to). This is my first fanfic I have published outside FanFiction.Net, so please bear with me. (Fanfic image is that of my OC.)

A member of the Story Crew is sent down to do his "mission" (what it is I shall not say). His organization has arranged things so that he is now a bodyguard-for-hire (who also takes odd jobs for extra money). Eventually, he ends up signing a contract from the ruler of Equestria herself, Princess Celestia. This contract has him tasked on (primarily) protecting one very important unicorn pony; the Princess's personal student, Twilight Sparkle. And that is where the story begins...

I devised him thanks to generalzoi's Pony Creator application. Do not follow the first link as it contains massive spoiler ideas for this story.

Chapters (58)
Comments ( 168 )

Nice heart. :scootangel:
I'll read it sometime.

562475
562481
Whew! For a second, I thought there was something very wrong.

I might read just because you put 'shisno' in the title. :rainbowlaugh:

822920
Oh. It's pretty much irrelevant to the story; just a word I thought was cool.

Comment posted by JasonTheHuman deleted Jan 4th, 2013

Basically, it's a 'retelling' of the popular "Friendship is Magic" TV series with an OC.

Well, at least you're honest.
And this is the first not terrible PC image.

2013492
Thank you. I wanted to be clear and not give others the wrong idea.

"First not terrible PC image"? What do you mean by that?

2017042
Most of the time, Pony Creator images look terrible. This one is actually not bad.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1077opHMI1r3zat8.gif

2019050
Thanks. It was actually a screw-up when I realized he had a mare-muzzle, but I decided to roll with it.

Well, I'm not even finished with the first chapter and it definitely is MUCH better than My Little Unicorn: Magic is Believing. Good to have another alternate universe which isn't bad. Nice cover image as well. I'll be watching this, although it'll probably take me forever to catch on.

2259949
Hmm... from what I can see from that story, that entire thing is AU'd so much it isn't recognizable as anything resembling canon, not to mention all-alicorn as far as I can tell. And it's not even so bad it's good like "My Immortal", not that I ever read it or ever will.

At least I try to balance my character's traits. In my story, it's effectively canon + OCs. Speaking of alternate universes, you should check out the Lunaverse by RainbowDoubleDash.

Shisno....................................................................:rainbowhuh::rainbowlaugh:

lol i wonder what that empty area was about i guess well see now wont we :derpyderp2:
honestly though great job with it im surprised that theirs no comments tho :moustache:

niiice i assume that trixie kept teleporting chronicle upsidedown during their fight? :trixieshiftright:

hmm i understand that gilda had to look unscathed but dont you think that chronicle lost alittle too easily givin that he went hoof to hoof with nightmare moon (though she went easy apparently) without so much as an injury and has been suggested to be able to defeat the ursa minor with relative* ease? :eeyup:
or at least ended in some kind of tie?

hmm why do you give chronicle a human in equestria feel when hes clearly been here awhile :trixieshiftleft:
i wonder...... :trixieshiftright:

aww i hopped itd be his fist and real(secret) name :raritydespair:
lol i read it as Shinso and thought it was cool which accounted for about 60% of the reason i began reading this :pinkiesad2: dident notice it said shisno untill like chapter 3 i mean i love it now ofcourse

hmm i noticed 2 inconsistencies(btw its just "The Doctor")
1) how did chronicles mane get wet when he was under an umbrella
2) why is twilight still complaining about food even though she ate her sandwich (and various apple related foods during the run) in this version?

I hope youll do a rainbow factory summary too cuz aside from the name and the fhat its equally as grimdark as cupcakes i know NOTHING!!!

Some oc stories are bad bit this one and Dream are my favs so far

2602763
Maybe. :trollestia:
2602950
Okay. First off, NIghtmare was (maybe) going easy until the spell-binding circle bit. Second, he knows killing won't be good for his image and thus was not trying to kill the Ursa Minor. Third, flying opponents aren't his forte, and fighting to maim Gilda might not look good if Rainbow Dash sees him doing it.
2606206
He and the Story Crew are more prepared in this than most other humans. I guess I'm trying to establish the "Story Crew" theory while writing this.
2607313>>2607316
I don't get it.
2607604
Looks like copying from a script has its disadvantages. I'm gonna say he didn't position it well enough in time. As for Twilight's complaint about food, I'm gonna say it wasn't enough to fill her.
2620745
"Rainbow Factory" will be mentioned next in the chapter "Sonic Rainboom". Once I get my files fixed up.
2622380
Thanks. It means quite a lot to me.

niiice work tieing this in with Anthropology (even if unintentional) not to mention now im curious about Recasted

2638614
I'm not tying it in with Anthropology, although its author did comment on the story, giving me a lot of important pointers in developing my OC. And the link to Recasted is merely a means of advertising other works to those who read this, just as I gave a link to "Rainbooms and Royalty" and "The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine".

2641125
that reminds me thank you immensely for posting that link cuz that story is AWESOME and its manga is AWESOME!!
Dusk shine i mean

2659605
Heckz yea it is literally THE. BEST. FAN MADE. MANGA. i have ever seen and commin from me that is saying ALOT man check it out now go on take a break and look at this beautiful art style :moustache:
http://xxangeluciferxx.deviantart.com/gallery/39195028

2659679
I see. Not really interested. Harems are not my thing.

2659882
i guess
but its still funny and dont you dare tell me that lucifers artstyle isent awesome :unsuresweetie:

2659965
i want you to say/type it for all to see!

2660013
I
Lucifer's art is awesome, but I am not reading the fan manga!

2660031
thats all i wanted (great artists should be recognized same as you my friend)
Well Done your chains are now released u dont have to read the manga now :pinkiesmile:

YOU ARE A DIRTY DIRTY SHISNO. HA HA HA.

It's very fitting saying

See ya on Third!

in the second chapter because you'll see us in chapter 3!

Chronicle seems a bit overpowered. It'd take a large amount of magic and concentration to produce even something resembling a clone.

2790202
Sorry. I could see that. I'm just…well…damn, I don't have a good reason. I guess I started him a bit too high. I struggle not to make him overpowered. A very arduous task.

Because in my mind and in RPG perspective, while Twilight has high Magic, Chronicle has high MP. You get what I'm saying?

2602950
I agree, at first he seemed overpowered, now he's underpowered

2790345
Underpowered? He's the only one who's—in my words—a true fighter (unlike Rainbow Dash or Applejack). While they and the rest are capable of holding their own, he has the conditioned mind.

I think it's like comparing a trained soldier (Chronicle) with a civilian with experience in the use of a weapon/martial arts (Twilight Sparkle and the rest). Or something like that.

Why do I keep misinterpreting things into chronicle liking Twilight Sparkle?

2790258
ahh i see what you mean from an rpg perspective it makes sense

I see references to clopfics that don't exist everywhere I look in this story. God dammit. :facehoof:

2790410
No. It's not a bodyguard crush. I'll make it very clear once I come around into writing SC:FiM: The Return of Harmony.
2790529
How did you see a clopfic in "Bridle Gossip" or was it from how I introduced Timerity?

2607604
I noticed these as well. Confusing points are confusing.

I just noticed that all your stories recently got more dislikes... Stupid, especially considering that they don't deserve any of it.

2795374
Yeah. The problems of rewriting the show and adding an OC.

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