Apple Bloom finally gets her cutiemark. However when it isn't related to apples she fears how the rest of the Apple family will react.
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- Member Since 7th Sep, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 28th, 2017
ImpossibleReflection
I enjoy making entire worlds from the ground up. I don't create to give people morals, or subtle political opinions, I create to give experiences people would otherwise not have.
ImpossibleReflection
Joined 7th Sep, 2012 ·
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Guess I missed the comedy tag when reading, but it didn't even occur to me that this was supposed to be funny until the author's comment at the end. It's an adequate story, but it's not funny at all. Actually, I sort of expected it delve more into Scootaloo's head than Apple Bloom's. Scoot is clearly trying to make it seem like a bigger deal than it is and drowns out Sweetie Belle when she tries to be the voice of reason. I expected it to be that Scootaloo doesn't really have anything, no family, just the crusaders. So with Apple Bloom getting her cutie mark, there'd be the chance of her losing that since obviously Apple Bloom wouldn't need to be crusading anymore, and with only two the group dynamic would be lost. So she was deliberately blowing the situation out of proportion to maintain the status quo.
Anyway, the story stands on its own even if it isn't funny, but again, the word I'd used to describe it is "adequate." It's not bad, but it's not great either. Can't really give it either a thumbs up or thumbs down. The premise has potential but you didn't really explore it very well.
2598449
I am not a funny person, how you managed to make it to the end without just declaring it nonsensical gibberish is beyond me, it holds more true to the random tag.
I also wasn't in the mood for a serious story, I just wanted to get some fun messing around out there, as my serious stories end up dead in the water. I also needed something simple to get the gears flowing in my head since I haven't written anything in a while.
This was a little rushed, and there were too many grammatical errors for my liking.
2625907
could you give me some to correct, please, For I am terrible at editing. Also, it was rushed.
2626517
That should be "Aah horseapples." With a period at the end.You need to punctuate correctly.
A comma doesn't join two independent clauses. You could have said, "After Apple Bloom rummaged through the basket until she found what she had been searching for, she went back to her room to try to sew up the cape." or "Apple Bloom rummaged through the basket until she found what she had been searching for; she then went back to her room to try to sew up the cape." or something else.
*next
*not
I'm not entirely sure if that sentence was actually using improper grammar, but it just sounds really weird and awkward the way you worded it.
And that was only three, not all of them.
I don't know I think this is more of a slice of life kind of story. I was also thinking that Applejack could probably bring up some relatives that don't have apple cutie marks. I like the idea just needs some polish.
2804694
all this was was an idea that I rushed writing in between bouts of depression. this is not even one of my creative stories, it's just that it was quick and simple so I could get it done before i became depressed again.
Oh gotcha, I've fought with depression myself for the longest time. I hope you can kick those blues. We can't all be Pinkie Pie's but I hope you get through it. Best of Luck!
I thought that their waiter attempt made the tablecloth explode and had the CMC banned from every restaurant in Equestria. Guess I was wrong.
GRAMMAR!
4312460
I haven't even looked at this story since I posted it...*need to check*
11 and half months ago. After I edit for the final time, I don't ever read it again. I only really ever open it again if someone points something out with a quote, then I CTRL+F.
This was definitely an early writing that was little more a learning experience.