• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 19th, 2014

TheChroniclerPrincess


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Princess Celestia has never been happier to have her sister back home, ruling at her side. But when some of the ponies learn about her past banishment of Luna, they feel she must atone for her injustice. All of Equestria is in an uproar, but there is one who will be there for her until the end.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 7 )
Comment posted by TheChroniclerPrincess deleted May 19th, 2013
Comment posted by Jphyper deleted May 20th, 2013

Luna could SEE folks from the moon? Just when you think you KNOW a mare.

If Luna/Nightmare Moon once wished to be loved, and for Celestia to be hated, then this is the making of a great case of 'be careful what you wish for'

Ok, the plot (heh) of the story is good. It's definitely something I could see happening. I read fanfics live, so I've read a LOT of various stories, and I found this looking for stories for our next show. This is a concept I haven't seen yet, so great job with that!

However, your grammar and sentence placement... Could use some work. Perhaps ask someone to help with revising the story?

Also, as good as it was, the last chapter felt a little rushed. Personally, I would have Luna give the mob visions of Celestia sobbing and regretting all that had happened. That, I think, would really drive the point home that Celestia isn't some horrible dictator,

Like I said, interesting story, just work on your grammar. :twilightsmile:

2863849 Thank you so much for the feedback! I need to start having somepony proofread my work before I submit it. And you're right, I think I might actually go back and make the last chapter a bit more extensive. Thanks again!

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