Salvage
Here’s how it is: the Times-That-Were are long over. Our gods and goddesses disappeared, leaving us to find our own way in the universe. Our old planet died without them around to protect it, so we had to leave. Eventually we found the ‘Verse, and decided to call it home.
The central planets formed the Solar Empire and decided to bring the rest of us under their rule. Some of us objected, myself included. We tried to preserve our independence by forming the Lunar Republic.
War broke out, but it didn’t last long. It ended in a little place called Sereneighty Valley. The fighting there lasted for seven weeks. I was a sergeant, and Octavia was my corporal. More than two thousand of us fought against the bright and shiny Empire, but less than two hundred survived.
In a way, none of us ever really made it out of that valley. You can never leave Sereneighty. You just learn to live there.
The war’s long over now. Me and mine try not to draw too much attention. We take work where we can find it and protect each other as best we can. If you’ve got a job, we can do it. You might even get a small discount if it causes the Empire a bit of misery.
*****
Six years after “once upon a time”…
Octavia’s hooves were remarkably agile, even when burdened with sun gel and a spacesuit. It probably came from years of playing an instrument with hooves instead of magic. It was equally possible that she was just used to blowing things up. Lyra wasn’t sure which she was more comfortable with.
The grey earth pony was pressing strings of red goo around the frame of a porthole on a derelict spacecraft. The ship was stuck in a decaying orbit over a worthless rock not big enough to be considered a planet. Sereneighty had picked up the distress signal and come to investigate, but there was nopony left to save. The lifeboats were long gone, and anypony left inside was already dead. It was the perfect salvage job, and they were being paid handsomely. It was technically piracy, but salvage sounded so much…
Actually, piracy sounded much cooler than salvage. Lyra grinned as she imagined painting a Jolly Roger on the side of her ship. I’m a mighty space pirate! Yarr! Gangway, ye scurvy mudders!
A raspy, not-quite-masculine voice suddenly cut through the silence. “Hey ‘Tavi, you gotta check this out! I built a little castle out of data disks for my Daring Do figure.”
Octavia’s sigh was visible through her helmet, but not audible through the vacuum of space. She keyed her microphone and pushed away from the porthole. “We are busy, Vinyl. Play with your dolls and contact us if something happens.”
“They’re action figures!”
Octavia flipped a switch on a control band strapped to her ankle and activated the sun gel. The solidified goo burned a hellish red and melted right through the thick armor plating around the porthole. “Shiny!” Lyra announced when she looked inside. “Let’s get a move on. Get this stuff loaded.”
A pegasus floated by with a cargo sled clipped to his belt. His impressive size was made even more so by the bulky suit he wore. Thunderlane wasn’t freakishly huge, but in his antiquated spacesuit he looked positively gigantic. “How’s it look?” he asked.
“Like Hearth’s Warming Eve,” Lyra answered. “Hurry up and drag it aboard so we can get out of here. The longer we fool around, the better the chance of some Empire do-gooder noticing us.”
Lyra heard Vinyl’s voice filter through the static of her suit’s speaker again, despite Octavia’s request for silence. “You need to chill out. Sereneighty’s listening on every channel known to ponies and a few that I just made up. It’ll ding if there’s stuff.” A bell began to ring in the background. “Uh, hold on. It’s dinging. There might be stuff.”
“Get those bars loaded!” Lyra barked. “Move it! We’re out of here in two minutes, not a second longer!”
Thunderlane and Octavia hurried to grab as much as they could from the derelict’s hold. The steel crates were filled with foil-wrapped nutrient bars, the kind of dietary supplement that ponies from the Rim would kill for. Sereneighty's crew would make a pretty penny from this haul, assuming they survived.
Sereneighty’s engine lights began to flicker as Vinyl powered up the ship. “Hey guys, I don’t mean to nag, but we should really get going.”
“Power down!” Lyra ordered. She helped Octavia crawl along the tether line and into the ship’s cargo hold, then shut the bay doors. “We have to shut everything down. Turn off everything but the air and sit tight. Thunderlane, help me get this stuff hidden away.” Vinyl’s frustrated groan was cut off as the radio died. Lyra, Thunderlane, and Octavia hurried to secure their loot and rushed to the ship’s bridge.
Sereneighty was an old Firefly vessel, a cargo ship with a sturdy design and reliable engines. The ship’s bridge was located in its “head”, as close to the bow as a pony could get without putting on a spacesuit. The entire crew, minus the mechanic, gathered to watch the blip on Sereneighty’s sensor readout grow closer.
Vinyl Scratch, a slightly scruffy unicorn with an ivory white coat and a vibrant blue mane, seemed a little peeved when everypony crowded around her chair. She wore a bright orange flight suit and purple goggles that probably served no practical purpose. Her voice, like the rest of her, was rough and unrefined but usually friendly. “I know I’m being rude, but you guys are sucking all the oxygen out of my personal space. This probably isn’t even a ship, so relax.” She cleared away a few action figures and dinosaur toys so that they could see the monitor better. “It could just be a chunk of debris or something.”
A red light began blinking on the control panel. Viny lifted her goggles and scanned the readouts with blood-red eyes. “Okay, so it’s a chunk of debris that scanned for heat signatures. Big deal. They still don’t know we’re here.”
“It’s changin’ course,” Thunderlane said. “I think we’re in trouble.”
Lyra scratched her check thoughtfully. “You could say that. This section of space is pretty dangerous, so it’s not much of a surprise that the Empire would send a cruiser to patrol it.”
“Gosh, you’re right!” Vinyl said as she flipped a switch. “Hey, listen! A distress signal from a ship full of widows and orphans about to get attacked by Reavers! I sure hope there are some big, tough Imperial types around to save them.”
The blip on the screen didn’t change course. Soon the computer was able to identify the vessel and listed off its name and serial number. “I believe that is a Solar cruiser,” Octavia noted. “It looks like the Snortthunder. Captain, we may have a problem.”
“Hun dan,” Vinyl muttered. “The decoy isn’t working! What’s wrong with this stupid thing?”
Octavia rolled her eyes and reached over Vinyl’s shoulder to press a button. “You turned off the radio, darling.”
Vinyl flipped the switch again, and moments later the cruiser reacted. “Look at them go!” she laughed. “What a bunch of suckers. Can we go now, Lyra?”
“Fire it up,” Lyra ordered. “Get us out of here, Vinyl. This part of the ‘Verse is a little too crowded for my liking.”
Vinyl punched the intercom and cleared her throat. “Greetings, passengers! This is your pilot speaking. We are about to engage in a hard burn to put a lot of distance between us and the boring forces of law and order. Please return all tray tables to their upright position, fasten all seatbelts, return all overdue library books, cancel the circus performance, secure all animals in the zoo, and-”
Another voice interrupted her. Spud, the ship’s mechanic, hated listening to Vinyl ramble. “Enough already!” he yelled over the intercom. “The ship is ready to go. Stop babbling and fly.” The ship lurched as Vinyl happily obliged him, leaving the derelict ship and the Empire’s cruiser far behind them in a cloud of golden light.
*****
When the Times-That-Were ended, intelligent life spread out from Terra and searched for a new place to call home. They found a star system – four stars orbiting a fifth – and dubbed it “the ‘Verse”. The planets near the center of the system were considered “Core” planets, while those on the edge were known as “Rim” planets.
Between the two extremes were a host of “Border” planets. These planets had the (somewhat) civilized appearance of the Core, but embraced the archaic-yet-affordable technology of the Rim. The Empire maintained a fairly strong grip on the governments of these planets, but its influence was less pervasive than on some of the Core worlds.
The crew of Sereneighty tended to stay far away from the Empire, but the Border planets were safe enough that they could dock on rare occasions without worrying about being noticed. Persepony was one such world, and this was one such occasion.
Lyra waited impatiently while the cargo was loaded onto Sereneighty’s utility vehicle. She was carrying her revolver under her usual purple coat, but hoped that she wouldn't need it. Octavia was also armed, but preferred a rifle with a collapsible barrel that fit in a holster over her purple vest. Thunderlane had his automatic pistol and his favorite knife.
“Everypony listen up!” she announced. “Me, Octavia, and Thunderlane are going to make the deal with Rover. Vinyl is going to look for any replacement parts the ship might need.”
“Wait!” somepony yelled in an extremely cultured New Equestrian accent. “I’m here! Wait for me!” The doorway leading to the infirmary opened and a haggard unicorn stallion tumbled out. His white coat looked quite a bit like Vinyl’s, but due to his lack of interest in personal hygiene it was dingy and grey. His blonde mane was matted to his face by sweat and engine grease while his horn, impressive though it was, had several grease spots down its length and ended in an unpolished tip. His cutie mark was a lumpy potato, completely unrelated to his job as a mechanic.
Octavia had never trusted Spud, but Lyra assumed that it was due to his unpleasant appearance. He did his job and kept to himself, probably because he knew that his smell could be classified as a war crime. “Late again, Spud?” Vinyl teased. “You’ve already much missed out on all the fun jobs.”
Spud heaved a melodramatic sigh. “Passenger duty?” he asked.
Lyra nodded. “Spud is going to convince a few generous souls to part with their hard-earned coin for the chance to travel on such a wondrous vessel as this.” She leaned forward and gravely clapped him on the shoulder. “May the goddesses have mercy on your soul.”
The rest of the crew laughed as Spud rubbed his chin. “I should shave,” he muttered.
“You should also bathe,” Octavia said curtly. “Please try to present a respectable image for the rest of us.”
Spud set his lawn chair on the ship’s cargo ramp and watched the rest of the crew go. He made sure that Octavia was out of earshot before muttering a few extremely impolite things about her, her mother, and her mother’s father.
The wait was long and boring as usual. Spud waived to a few pretty mares, but most of them turned away after taking one look at his dirty jumpsuit and unwashed mane. This is so embarrassing, he thought resentfully. It isn’t my fault that this ship has no hot water. How is a pony supposed to enjoy getting clean with no hot water?
A powerfully built stallion walked by and immediately caught Spud’s attention. His red coat and hay-colored mane made for an interesting color combination, and his cutie mark added a dash of green to the mix. He looked like a farmer, but wore the simple clothes of a Shepherd. Spud had never been overly fond of preachers, but a holy stallion’s money would spend just the same as anypony else's.
The Shepherd was looking over every ship in the yard with a peaceful, unhurried smile. His luggage amounted to nothing more than a small suitcase and a blanket that had seen a lot of use. Spud waved to get his attention. “Howdy, Shepherd! You might as well stop looking, because you’ve found the ship you want.”
The stallion paused to examine Sereneighty. “Don’t see how ya could be so sure,” he said.
“You’re coming with us,” the mechanic said confidently. “I watched you walk all the way here, and you haven’t even asked anypony where they were going. You’ve been looking at the ships.” Spud took a deep breath and put on his best salespony face. “There’s no finer ship than this one!” Wrong. “She’s as comfortable and dependable as they come.” Also wrong. “You won’t regret it, sir. I guarantee it.” You’re going to be miserable on this piece of junk, you ignorant yokel.
“Ah traveled on a Firefly once,” the Shepherd said. “Mighty fine vessel.”
“She certainly is!” Spud agreed. He mentally chided himself for putting too much enthusiasm into his words. “Can I ask where you come from?”
The Shepherd set down his suitcase and looked around at the other ships. “Been livin’ in the Everfree Abbey for a few years. Figured it might be nice to walk the world a bit. Ah’d be plum grateful for a ride, if you’re offerin'. Ah could pay.”
Spud grabbed the stallion’s hoof and shook it heartily. “Welcome aboard!” he exclaimed, pleased with his success. “My name’s Spud. What’s yours?”
“Name’s Mac,” the Shepherd said. He turned over his shoulder and let out a loud whistle. A grey pegasus with a yellow mane stumbled out of the crowd, clutching a small suitcase of her own and looking very lost. She smiled at Mac, but one of her eyes was looking in a completely different direction. “That’s Derpy. We met about an hour ago while lookin’ for a ship. She seems like a nice mare, but she doesn’t rightly know where she’s goin’.”
“She’s quite welcome,” Spud assured him, trying not to laugh. Misery loves company. “On you go. I’ll show you to the passenger dorms.”
*****
Lyra hated dealing with unsavory types, but sometimes it was unavoidable. The fact that she and her crew were themselves what most would consider “unsavory types” did nothing to make it any easier. The diamond dog they were meeting with thought of himself as an underworld kingpin on Persepony. He was a moron, but his money spent just as well as anyone else’s.
Rover made his home in a pathetic excuse for an office that smelled, fittingly, like a wet dog. The floor was rough and stained in places, the walls were bare concrete, and the ceiling was sagging alarmingly in one corner. All in all, it was exactly what Lyra expected from a dog that had once appointed himself “Head Chief Dog” of an entire city and then proceeded to do nothing at all to enforce his claim.
The wait was almost not worth it. Lyra and her crew sat down at a crooked table while Rover pretended to work at his desk. She politely accepted the food she was offered, trying not to think too much about what it was. She was fairly certain that meat of some kind was involved.
Serving meat to an herbivore was a very serious insult, but Lyra tried not to take offense. Either Rover was trying to goad her into saying something she would regret, or he was genuinely too stupid to know any better. She honestly thought that the latter was more likely.
Thunderlane and Octavia followed her example and accepted plates, but nopony ate. They waited impatiently for Rover to finish “working” and join them at the table. Armed henchdogs stood around the room, watching the newcomers with varying amounts of curiosity and distrust.
Lyra strummed her lyre while they waited. Her music seemed to please a few of the guards that were watching them. When Rover finally joined them a small chorus of disappointed groans filled the air as the music stopped. The unicorn smiled; she had never been able to make money with her special talent, but it was nice to know that others enjoyed it.
Rover quickly signaled for a plate of his own and messily devoured what he was given without a second thought. “So about this deal,” Lyra began. “We’ve got what you want and I’m starting to get just a teensy bit curious as to why you haven’t said a word about payment.”
“Marked goods,” Rover spat, along with a sizeable chunk of… something. Everypony except Thunderlane shuddered. “Government be tracking them always. Can’t sell to nobody with molecular stamp.”
“Hey, we worked our flanks off for that go-se that you wanted so bad!” Thunderlane shouted. “You can’t send us across half the solar system for something and then leave us stuck with it!”
Rover swallowed so that he could bare his teeth. “We make deal for goods that can sell, yes? You not bring goods that can sell. You bring go-se that Empire find soon, maybe put all the stupid little ponies behind bars for taking it. Not buying.”
Thunderlane’s hoof strayed dangerously close to his gun. “You lying sack of-”
Several dozen metallic clicks filled the room. “Best for you to stop yelling,” Rover said calmly. His dogs formed a circle around the table, weapons drawn, and slowly advanced inward. “This not your ship, big pony. Go home and leave the big dog alone. You can’t hurt me here.”
“We had a deal,” Lyra said.
Rover curled his lip up in disgust, looking like he wanted very much to spit at somepony. Luckily he decided against it, but he wasn’t finished mocking them. “I think you need lessons, stupid ponies. You come here and make demands, not treat us nice, expect us to do miracles. Maybe you think diamond dogs not as smart as ponies. Maybe you even think the stupid civil war still not over, and we should help for goodness of our hearts. That what you think?”
“I think you should behave like a professional,” Lyra said. “When a professional enters into a business arrangement, he keeps to the deal. You agreed to pay us, and you’re going back on your word. That’s mighty dishonest of you.”
Rover sneered and lopped off another chunk of barely-cooked substance from his plate. “You not keep with the times, Heartstrings. You just some stupid relic, like that coat or your wheel gun. You bring me the Empire’s goods, I not sell. Can’t even dump the stupid things on this planet or the Empire hwoon-dahn find them and trace them to me. You should know that, stupid unicorn.” He reached for the salt in the middle of the table.
“Don’t blink,” Lyra warned.
The diamond dog gaped in amazement at the blade that appeared as if by magic only millimeters away from his flesh. Octavia leaned on her knife, gently grazing Rover’s paw with cold steel. “Have you met Octavia?” Lyra asked casually. “I don’t believe you’ve been properly introduced. She’s ex-Marefia, believe it or not. I like to think she adds a bit of class to the operation."
Lyra leaned back in her chair and crossed her hind legs, adopting one of the many strange poses that only she was comfortable in. “You already know Thunderlane, of course. He doesn’t need an introduction. If you think Octavia’s bad… well, let’s not get into that. I’d really like to tell one of them to kill you, but it seems to me that you’re speaking a bit of reason. You can’t sell, so you won’t buy. That’s fair enough.”
Thunderlane and the diamond dogs looked surprised, but Octavia didn’t move an inch. “We’ll just go,” Lyra continued. “Come on, guys. Let’s get out of this jung chi duh go-se dway. The mean diamond dog has a poor, defenseless animal to disembowel.”
“Wait!” Rover shouted as they left. “You forget your crates!”
“Did we?” Lyra giggled at the diamond dog’s horrified expression. “Gosh, I guess you’re stuck with them. Good luck getting rid of them without anypony noticing.”
“B-but those are yours!”
Lyra tapped her chin thoughtfully and exchanged meaningful glances with her friends. “You wanted me to bring you crates, so I brought you crates. I’ll even let you have them for free. What you do with them is your business. Of course, if you’re lookin’ to get rid of them, we could probably take them off your paws for the right price.”
Rover’s primitive brain took a while to fully comprehend the situation. He was now in possession of four crates of highly illegal stolen cargo that the Empire would follow right to his doorstep. He couldn’t even ditch it without the feds finding out. There was only one pony in the ‘Verse that would buy it from him, and that pony was Lyra Heartstrings. “You are not a nice pony,” he growled.
Lyra giggled. “That hurts, Rovey. That hurts real deep.”
*****
“Hey, check it out!” Thunderlane exclaimed when they returned to Sereneighty. “Spud found some passengers!”
“I am well and truly speechless,” Lyra said. “Maybe they have no sense of smell.” The group trotted up the loading bay ramp, cargo sled in tow. “Hurry up and stash this stuff while they’re getting settled. Can’t have our innocent guests knowing they’re sleeping alongside disreputable types such as ourselves. Octavia, go keep a lookout and let us know if they’re coming.”
A small shuttle approached, causing the ship to rattle as the tiny craft settled into its dock on the ship’s port side. “Our Companion’s back,” Thunderlane noted. He yanked a metal panel off the wall and began loading the crates inside the hidden compartment. “Think she’s got any new whorin’ stories?”
“None of our concern.” Lyra cast a nervous glance around to make sure that nopony would hear them. “Just hurry and get that stuff hidden away, will you?” She galloped toward the passenger dorms to occupy the new arrivals. Thunderlane yelled something about having to do all the unpleasant work, but Lyra ignored him. She motioned for Octavia to follow her, hoping that a pretty face would make a good impression. It’s probably too late, she thought. They’ve already seen Spud.
Somehow the mechanic had lured three ponies onto Sereneighty. One was a massive stallion with an apple cutie mark, one was a walleyed pegasus with bubbles on her flank, and one was a brown earth pony with an hourglass.
Spud wasn’t naturally ugly, but his personal hygiene was terrible and tended to drive squeamish ponies away. Lyra had expecting one passenger, possibly two if her luck was good. “I’m impressed, Spud!” she exclaimed as she trotted into the dorms. “You’ve done well, my smelly friend.” Spud rolled his eyes and grumbled about getting no respect in the workplace. “I’m Captain Heartstrings and this is Octavia. If anypony wants a tour, they can follow me. It shouldn’t take long.”
The group slowly shambled through the narrow passageways in pursuit of the Captain. Only one passenger stayed behind, looking back toward the stern of the ship. Derpy cautiously followed the mechanic, walking extra slowly to avoid bumping into anything.
Spud made a detour on his way to the engine room to check the fuel lines. When he was finished, he returned to the engine room and was shocked to find Derpy staring at two different parts of the main reactor. “Hey!” he shouted angrily, “What are you doing back here? This area is for crew only!”
Derpy shrank away, shivering under his stern gaze. “I’m sorry!” she said quickly. “I just wanted to see the engine!” She squealed in surprise as Spud lifted her with his magic and threw her out of the room.
“You’re lucky I don’t beat some sense into you with a crescent wrench, you ignorant hick!” the unicorn shouted. He slammed the door in the mare’s face and turned to assess the potential damage to the ship’s reactor. Right away he noticed that the thermal coupling was now on backwards.
Spud groaned and set about examining the rest of the reactor. He wasn’t even sure what he was looking for, but hopefully he would notice if anything was grievously wrong. This was going to take a while.
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I know a good idea when I see one. This is not one of those ideas.
This is one of those great ideas.
2588460 The first line of your comment...
The second line...
2588460
Agreed 100%. I would have said more, but I didn't want to imply that you had an inadequate degree of enthusiasm.
Two things jumped out at me - Spud wanted to shave. Umm. How anthro are they, that shaving makes sense?
And don't you mean Manedarin?
>You can’t sell, so you won’t by. That’s fair enough.
>by
Not a fan of Firefly, but this was quite well written.
Oh my yes!
So is Spud that worthless mechanic they had before Kaylee showed up, or is he just that bad with personal hygiene?
And now for my reaction to the story: Yes. Yes. This is lovely story and we shall thrive.
"At last. We have conquered this land. We shall call it... This Land...
'I say we should call it your grave!'
'Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!'
'Now die!'
'Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh, dear god in heaven! Oh god!"
-Wash
I just happened, just happened, to come across the story. I thought, wait, Serenity? Really? Naturally I had to check it out. It was a nice idea to make Octavia Zoe. I'm going to continue to read this, but know that you've earned a favorite, a like, and a following. When two of my favorite series come together, have a moment of passion and give birth to a story like this one it makes me happy.
Thanks for sharing something that I am certain I shall enjoy for days on end.
LF
If the pilot dies, I'm going to be pissed. >:(
"At last. We have conquered this land. We shall call it... This Land...
'I say we should call it your grave!'
'Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!'
'Now die!'
'Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh, dear god in heaven! Oh god!"
-Wash
((Stealing, I know, but this story feels incomplete because it lacks this scene.))
2588598 cannon MLP has beards.
There are not enough firefly crossovers on this site. Thankfully people like you have given us really good stories.