I am an 20 year old Brony living in Sweden currently hoping to get into University. One of my favorite hobbies are to write and that is what I do here on this site. Hope you enjoy :)
Silver Steed never had much it seemed like. He had few friends but he didn't seem to care. But does appearance always tell the truth? This story is about Silver Steeds life. The good and the bad. (this story is heavily inspiered from real life events.)
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Right, well I'm here as promised. I noticed a few constant mistakes so I guess I'll go over those.
A consistant mistake that I noticed you make is a lack of capitalization. You seem to forget to capitalize a lot of things. There doesn't seem to be a pattern to it, except that it's constancy. This mistake also appears in your short description of your story and your authors notes. You just need to go through your work, all of it, and go through it looking for words that need to be capitalized.
The next mistake is just commas and quotation marks. When you end quotation marks but not the sentence you need to have a comma. Lets take one of your own sentences for example:
That should actually read:
You might also notice I made a few other changes, but the comma is the big one for the moment.
The other changes I made though were capitalizing the "I"s adding a dot so it was three (...) instead of two (..) and I also added a space after the third dot. That's just how the dot thing supposed to be done, not sure why though.
I also took out the "just" because it doesn't really add anything to the sentence except another word.
The next thing is a really easy fix. You don't have an indents for new paragraphs. Now there are a lot of times in academic writing where you might not need/use indents. However when working with stories and their ilk, you need to be sure to have the indents. Just one hit of the [tab] key is all you need to do. I think that's about 8 [space] key hits if your tab key doesn't work for some reason.
Well that's the 1st round of it.
Just let me know if you'd like some more editing/pre-reading stuff done on KoL and I'll return here and see what you've done and give ya some more feedback. ^_^ 