The Thirty Minute Dash

by Esle Ynopemos

17: Crying Out Loud In a Mug [Comedy] [Romance]

((Prompt: Two of the following characters go on a blind date: Bon Bon, Thunderlane, Princess Luna, Braeburn, Vinyl Scratch, Fancypants, Ditzy Doo/Derpy Hooves.))

Rainbow sipped at her drink and wondered exactly what had led her to this point, sitting in a mostly deserted bar while a tearful unicorn she hardly even knew leaned on her shoulder and wailed loudly.

“...I mean,” the minty green mare sobbed, “how am I even supposed to compete with that?”

It was Rarity's fault, Rainbow decided. Rarity had been the one that had told her that there was a place where they sold the surplus cider after the special seasonal sale was over. She was the reason Rainbow had been in the bar this evening.

“Sure,” the unicorn said, waving her hoof unsteadily in the air, “Bonnie and I were going through a bit of a rough patch. What couple doesn't have a few fights?”

Or maybe it was Applejack's fault for not making enough of the stuff during the regular cider season. If there had been enough cider to go around, Rainbow wouldn't have been in here looking for more when she had burst in the door, her eyes brimming with tears.

Rainbow Dash's companion took what looked like a significantly larger gulp of her drink than was strictly healthy for a pony to take in one go. “So when she put in for that matching service, I figured, why not let her have her fun, right?”

She looked to Rainbow, apparently looking for some kind of validation. Rainbow gave a noncommittal grunt.

This was enough for her, apparently. “We both needed a bit of space, some time to cool off. I knew it was gonna all blow over in a couple days. But then...” The green mare broke into a wet round of sobs. Rainbow winced as her feathers caught a bit of the deluge.

Maybe it was Rainbow's own fault. She was too nice. She needed to tell this lady to buck up and find a different shoulder to cry on. She gathered her breath up to say as much, but one look at the wretched thing on the stool next to her whisked all the admonishments away. So she grumbled and took another sip from her cider.

“Then she showed up at the door! Princess Luna! Princess Sun-and-Moon-bucking Luna!!” Much of the cuckolded mare's remaining drink sloshed out of her mug as she gestured wildly. “I thought it had to be some kind of joke! Bon Bon had to have gotten Raindrops to paint herself blue and strap a horn to her forehead. But no!” She shook her head. “My girlfriend is out on a date with the Princess of the Harmony-damned Moon!” The rest of her drink disappeared down her throat. “Barkeep, gimme another.”

Rainbow glanced over at her. There was a growing pile of empty mugs beside the mare, and she swayed unsteadily on her stool. Rainbow put a hoof on her back. “Look, Lucy...” No, that wasn't her name. Lamp Post? Line Dance? Rainbow shrugged and continued. “You're a great pony. Totally awesome at, um...” She stole a glance at L-Name's flank. “...harp-ing. I'm sure this Bon Bon chick sees that, and when she comes to her senses, it won't matter if Celestia, Luna and Cadance all want to do a four-way with her—”

The unicorn made a distressed moan and buried her face in her hooves. Perhaps that had been the wrong choice of imagery.

“—it won't stop her from coming back to you,” she finished quickly.

L-something looked up and sniffed. “Y-you really think so?”

Rainbow flashed her a smile. “I'm sure of it. And if she doesn't, then she isn't really the sort of pony you need to be with, anyway.”

A small smile formed on the teal unicorn's lips. The bartender arrived with a mug of cider. “That'll be three bits,” he said.

L levitated her bitbag out and turned it upside down. A couple of pieces of lint fell out, but no bits.

Rainbow Dash sighed. Too nice by far. “Here, let me get that one.” She pulled open the strings on her own bitbag.

The doors to the bar swung open. In burst a cream-colored earth pony, panting as though she had just run from Canterlot. “Lyra!”

Lyra—that was her name! Dash knew it started with an L—swiveled in her stool. “Bonnie?”

Bon Bon took a few more steps into the bar. “Lyra, I couldn't do it! The whole time, I was just thinking about you! I'm so sorry I ever thought I could...” She stopped, her eyes falling on Rainbow Dash and narrowing. “...Lyra, is she buying you a drink?”

Rainbow pinched her eyes shut. How did she get into messes like this?

Comments

[nemryn]

[Themaskedferret]

You are evil...and so awesome.

[Shipper107]

Lyra: what? I ran out of bits. not my fault she´s nice.

[Weehawk]

omg, haha, amazing ending. This is almost enough to reinvigorate some ship story ideas i used to have XD