• Member Since 3rd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 22 minutes ago

Tystarr


Someone who needs to write far more than they currently do! x.x


T

Some things can never be said. Certain words can only be held within the heart, to be spoken where only you yourself may hear them. A short story inside one of the royal sister's mind, their regrets, their thoughts and their feelings for their sibling.



Rated teen just to be on the safe side.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 34 )

Just a little something I thought up while writing the new chapter for 'A Voice Among the Strangers.'

I know it's super short for something I write, but I needed to get it out of my head. ^-^

Ha ha, Tystarr, what are you doing? You can't write short chapters. We won't let you.

...with the exception of "fillys" and a couple of "of vs have", this was really enjoyable.:pinkiehappy:
A thousand years of pain can never be recorded.:fluttershysad:
Excellent work, dear author!:twilightsmile:

I don't know what's more surprising: the sudden appearance of this chapter or the fact that it's under 10K words! xD :twilightsheepish:
You know, it WAS short. However, I liked it like that. It was short, to the point, and didn't overstay its welcome. :twilightsmile:

I like it though I think it feels like there is too much... explaining(?)

I feel like if the sisters would think to themselves of their darker times I don't think they would go into so much detail about what happend. I completely understand that this part is important for the reader but it still makes me feel like it's... fabricated. That's one of the main reasons I rarely like stories surrounding 'memories' as it's such a hard subject to explore without making it sound silly, how serious the topic yet may be.

PS. Still good though!


// Sphex

2585925

Help! Help! I'm being oppressed! o.o

Is true, writing short chapters is totally alien to me. o.o

2585943

Argh, I blame writing at 3am. Fixed. -.-;

2585957

It was eating into my head until I wrote it. It wouldn't let me goooo....

2585975

The masses are against me! o.o

Fiiine, I'll stick to writing over 10k... grumble, grumble.

2586012

Hmmm, I think holding that much guilt for that long would wallow in one's thoughts. Maybe they were feeling melodramatic at the time? ^-^

I tried to not go into details infact, just bits and pieces that would stick out in their mind.

Anyhow, was just a little bit of experimentation to get a pesky thought out of my head, glad you liked regardless!

I just noticed something - there aren't any categories on this story!

2587212

I didn't know what category to put ;.;

2587188 Hey I'm not complaining! xD

D'awww! :pinkiehappy:

2588122

Yay, it got a d'aww. Mission complete!

^-^

2587188
It's alright.:twilightsheepish:
We forgive you, like always.:twilightsmile:

oh the feels. Its stories like this that really make me want to see more of Luna and Celestia in the main series. I would love to see an episode dedicated to them.

Oh, now that was simply beautifully done. I love the way you keep it so ambiguous all the way up to the end, keep us guessing about which Princess is actually speaking their thoughts. :twilightsmile:

Now, lets see how many groups I can spread this around in shall we? :raritywink:

2847468

Eep!

I was trying to keep it uncertain who was thinking, glad it worked!

So far that is a lot of groups. O.o

Oh this cause some heartmelt for me. Simply magnificent. Approved for Twilight's Library :twilightsheepish:

2587188 I say as long as you can write, write however long of a chapter you want... Just make sure it's for AVAtS.... encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRAUV4SqfTddWAq-dau2TkKrTN1LxoimR1vP8gH47Q4sU0lBlq8

I know other people really liked this, but the ambiguity kind of killed it for me. Like, it worked well at first, but in the end since there was no definitive move one way or the other it just felt... I dunno rather confused? It didn't quite get the meaning punch I think it needed.

Still, a great story, thumbs up.

2916421

Hee, well... to be honest, if everyone liked something it would be a boring world! I do enjoy your points though, it was my choice to keep it ambiguous up until the end but I knew it might be a little... wishy-washy, I guess?

Anyhow, I am glad you enjoyed regardless!

2859843

I am glad you enjoy! ^-^

Sorry about late reply!

I absolutely loved the ambiguity in this. For me it gave a true understanding that both sisters had done terrible things, a perspective I have often seen, but never this well. At some point in their conflict they both lost sight of what was truely right and they both suffer for it.

Upon reflection I realize I cake at this from the wrong direction. I puzzled my way trying to figure which sister was the author, but the truth is that it doesn't matter. The words come from both sisters as one, that Celestia is the sister voicing them is inconsequential.



Incidentally I guessed Celestia final answer (with almost no degree of certainty) when she said the other will be happy when they see how the fallen were memorialized. That I was correct I attribute to random chance as you did a great job keeping it ambiguous.

3117978

Thank you, I am really happy you enjoyed it.

Thank you also for sharing your thoughts! I did try to keep it ambiguous for the most part and I am glad you liked that. ^-^

Beautiful. I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner. I was quite nearly at the end by the time I was certain who was talking. The best part is that it all makes sense in hindsight; reading through again, one wonders how they didn't catch it sooner.

You've already completed two fantastic pieces, and you have another two shaping up for greatness. And you know what they say; once is good luck, twice is coincidence, but three times is natural talent.

3267629

once is good luck, twice is coincidence, but three times is natural talent.

True that.

2585624 How could I not read this before? You, my friend, truly have a way with words I literally had
dash.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133546243038.jpg

The feelings this story makes me feel, *wipes tears*

4010607

I really need to commission some cover art for this at some stage. o.o

...Holy crap. 100, now 101, likes and not a SINGLE dislike?!

4283102

I don't know why. o.o

This was just a little rambling I did, but, strangely, it is actually my favourite work too. ^-^;

I'm just glad people like it!

4283102
I'm sure the trolls just haven't noticed this yet.
I hope they won't too.

Amm

Ah, an excellent perspective story. It had me wondering which sister was speaking until the end.

I have no back story but still this is a beautiful piece of writing Tystarr.

T.

Nicely done.

As I was reading, in my mind, I was hearing the voices of both of them, alternating between the paragraphs, some clearly Luna's, some Celestia's--and in the end, they were both thinking these thoughts.:twilightsmile:

Login or register to comment