Dreamflow

by KitsuneRisu

The Awoken

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The Awoken

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“To tell you the truth,” Princess Celestia said, slowly, choosing every word carefully, “I was about to summon you tomorrow if you hadn’t already come up here yourself.”

“Yes, Princess,” Applejack replied. “I believe we do... owe you and Princess Luna a bit of an explanation, perhaps.”

“And she’s here, because...?”

“Pinkie’s the one who’s been helpin’ me through all this, Princess. From the start, she’s stuck by me and helped me figure this out.”

“Of course.” Princess Celestia smiled, a warm, generous, loving smile. It was a smile that was, above all other things, true in its intent, and was filled with strength of heart. “Thank you for helping Applejack through this entire ordeal. It has been... taxing, I am sure.”

“No problem!” Pinkie bubbled, bouncing on the floors, her hooves clattering on the marbled tiles of the grand hall. It was the room in which Princess Celestia received all her guests, and its familiar stone pillars and ornate dual staircases gave a comfort of intimacy to Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

“But perhaps we should not tarry here in the halls,” Princess Celestia suggested, moving past them and motioning for the two to follow. “We have things to talk about.”

Her guests moved in tow, stepping in rhythm beside the Princess. She led them down one of the many hallways, passing guards and doors and windows, and it was not until she was deep into the boughs of the castle that she began to speak.

“I heard about it from Princess Luna last night. What you did. And what... she did. First of all, I must extend my apologies for what she had put you through.”

“Princess. Please. Don’t say another word of that. In fact, I’m th’ one who maybe... I guess there’d’ve been better ways I mighta done it, but...”

“No. I believe what you did was... the wisest thing. The most honest thing. Perhaps not the smartest, but... there is a thin line between smart and wise, sometimes. And in this case, I feel that you made the right choice.”

Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief.

Princess Celestia eyed her strangely.

“Thank you for your blessings, Princess.” Applejack bowed, offering her apologies in any case. “I’m not sure... if... if’n... um...”

“Please, Applejack. Don’t stand on ceremony. We’ve known each other in quite a... personal way for many years now. Please feel free to speak openly. That goes the same for you as well, Pinkie.”

“Oh, thank goodness! I was just about to burst! Applejack told me that I tend to be excitable and talk so much and bounce off the walls and she told me that maybe I should behave myself and-”

“Well, maybe a little.” Princess Celestia chuckled. “Please speak your mind, but remember we have pressing matters to discuss. Hm?”

“Of course, Princess! I can keep it down! I had loads of practice over the last week! Applejack made me... be serious.”

“Well, if I could kindly ask you to indulge me for one more day...”

“Definitely, Princess!”

Pinkie whipped out a chef’s hat, fitting it snugly upon her head.

“Ah...?” Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“It’s... her serious hat, Princess. Don’t mind her. Please,” Applejack explained. “But... as I was going to say, I wasn’t sure how much of the story Princess Luna told you. Or in fact if... our stories are the same. Does she remember everythin’ from the start?”

“I’m afraid she does, Applejack. If there’s one thing about her... well. She’s been dreamwalking for many, many centuries now. It’s not something she’s unfamiliar with. When she awoke... she remembered it all.”

A somber look came across the Princess’ face. One that bore the markings of guilt, but yet, hope and strength. It was the look of sorrow that came from a place deep within – sorrow for many things, and the ones who were hurt along the way.

“I am... very sorry, Applejack. I truly am,” Celestia continued, her voice lowering in volume as she controlled her emotions. “Even firebreathers must respect the flame.”

“What do you mean, Princess?”

“Well... just because she walks dreams, and controls them, and helps the ones who have nightmares themselves... does not mean she isn’t also a victim of them, nor does it mean she has immunity from its... undesirable effects.

“Anypony... may still be burnt by a fire, if left unfettered to control,” Celestia explained.

“I never did blame her, Princess. Not once. At least, not once I figured out what was going on.”

“You have a kind soul, Applejack,” Celestia mentioned, as she led them further down winding passages and halls.

They stopped in a tranquil part of the castle that overlooked the gardens – a small balcony where they could have some peace from the patrolling guards and other prying ears.

Celestia herself had a faraway look to her as she gazed over the gardens, deep in thought.

“It was Nightmare Night, as you have probably already determined,” Celestia continued speaking, although this time, she gave her attention to the trees and plants, as if they were her captive audience.

In return, Applejack nodded and nothing more.

“I suppose the irony is that you had inadvertently caused the sequence of events to begin. Although, it wasn’t through any maliciousness of heart. Both Luna and I recognize this, and I would like to allay any fears that you might have had. We are not angry, nor upset. Most assuredly, you were nothing more than the unfortunate victim of unfortunate circumstances.”

Again, Applejack nodded. The princess was being candid, of course, and her directness could also be forgiven.

“The nightmares started that very night. At first, they were nothing big. Nothing to worry about. By the third day, my dear sister had started to wake up crying. Screaming. Yelling names long forgotten. Always she said it was just a bad dream, but each night it continued, and she would wave it away as nothing, claiming to not require any help.

“Of course, I suspected what it was. This isn’t the first time this happened. But Luna... she is a guarded pony. A prideful one, trying to make up for the mistakes of her past. She didn’t mean to do it, Applejack, you must understand, although it was her denial that let it go on for so long.”

“Yes, Princess. Of course I understand.”

“I understand too, Princess!” Pinkie cut in, jovially, like a child just happy to be involved.

“Such kind ponies, you two are.” Princess Celestia chuckled, a brief respite from the dour nature of the conversation. But that was over in a moment, and Celestia relaunched her explanation.

“When she dreams, she opens her mind. Because of her unique ability to traverse the dreams of others, she also has the ability to... draw others to her, as well. Normally, this is controlled tightly. But emotions... weaken barriers.”

“So... we were right then, Princess. All this while...”

“Yes, my child. For the past two weeks, you have been stuck inside the nightmares of my sister, as she wished for better days and kinder times. She had unwittingly drawn you in, probably due to the incident on the hill. She must have... found you to be a great sorrow.

“And that is the story. I will be happy to answer any questions you have right now, Applejack, before we continue on with the next step.”

“The next step, Princess?”

“Please. Ask your questions first,” Celestia suggested.

“W-well. What... what did I do? Why did she... pick me? Why was I chosen for this?”

“I should have expected that you would start with the most difficult question of all.” Celestia smiled. “In order to understand this, you have to understand Princess Luna. A princess she might be, but... all of us have our faults. Weaknesses. Even myself. And for the past few years, ever since she was rescued by you and your friends, she has been... struggling to fit in.

“Having a day dedicated to your misdeeds is something that does not fall lightly on a soul. And even though Luna tries, yearly, the day reminds Luna of what she is, what she was, and what she believes she will never be.”

“We... we oughta change that, Princess,” Applejack muttered.

“And perhaps we shall. We will see. Perhaps I should have not given her the chance to experience life as it was during her leave of absence, both bad and good.”

“Why does she go around the place each year, then?” Pinkie pointed out. “Why not just stay at home?”

“I suppose it’s a complicated thing, the heart of a pony. She feels the need to prove something to herself. She feels the need to see how things have changed. Nightmare Night is also an excuse for her to go down and visit, something she is rather not comfortable with in general, because of her beliefs that she is unacceptable in the eyes of others.”

“Is... is that what she thinks of herself?” Applejack asked.

“Yes. It is... unfortunate, is it not? And all the day does is reinforce her views on how ponies act around her. While it is true that there are still some who remain fearful of her and the legends that she has left behind... she has not yet given herself a chance to learn how the minds of most have changed.”

“But that’s... that’s rather silly, ain’t it? If you don’t mind me sayin’, Princess. I mean... all she’d have to do is come down anytime and look for herself.”

“Ah yes, but as I said, the heart of a pony is a complicated thing. She is frightened of what she might find. Nightmare Night is something she can blame for the visit. But otherwise, she is wrapped up in terror, Applejack, terror for what she might learn. For if she learns the truth, and it is something that she cannot handle...”

Celestia shook her head, keeping up strength for both sisters combined.

“Fear... huh?”

“Yes, Applejack. Fear and sadness. I believe you have felt as much yourself. I know you haven’t mentioned it yet, probably because you’re a polite little thing, but I already know that Luna has been casting those emotions onto you as well. What you felt during the dream was a mere portion of what Luna herself feels, and the dreams themselves...

“They represent her unconscious beliefs, Applejack. They each tell a story of her need to connect with someone else. Her deepest wishes to be... loved again, and how she believes that any time she connects with another... it ends in ruin.”

Applejack’s mouth had run dry. It was hard to speak again, but for a different reason. The truth sometimes was hard to take. But before she could get to that thought, Celestia interrupted her and said exactly what was on Applejack’s mind.

“Do not question your actions, Applejack. You did what you had to. You did more than anyone else could. But to answer your question as to why she chose you? It is because you showed her a kindness. You were the only one to give her hope, and hope is a strong feeling. You became a beacon to her. A representation of hope. And suddenly, her thoughts shaped itself around what you were to her – the possibility of a new friendship.

“But she buried it under her own vicious mentality, and so it lingered, and it expressed itself in the only way it knew how – in dreams.”

They had been skirting the truth. They had been guessing around the border. But even so, to hear the full story from the princess herself... Applejack’s mind wandered, trying to latch onto something – anything – to help make it even a little bit better.

“Princess?” Applejack asked.

“Yes?”

“I... I was gonna mention’ the emotions thing. I really was. I wasn’t tryin’ t’ keep it secret or nothi-”

“Of course you were.” Celestia chuckled again. “Worry not, Applejack.”

Once again, the balcony fell silent, nothing but the wind to generate the ambient noise that was meant to be calming but didn’t really do the job.

Princess Celestia kept on looking out toward the distance, wrapped in her own thoughts, as the other two stood there, uncomfortable with the silence.

It was only two minutes, but it felt like far longer, and Applejack was more than thankful that the princess finally turned and spoke to her directly.

“Do you have anything else you wish to ask?” Princess Celestia gestured with a tone of abrupt seriousness.

“No, Princess, I think... I think we’re good.” Applejack looked out of the corner of her eye to Pinkie to confirm this. Pinkie gave a small shrug and a blank stare in return.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Then, permit me a question of my own.”

“Of course, Princess.”

“Why did you choose to do what you did?”

“What do you mean, Princess?”

“At the very end. Once you realised the door led back to your own dreams... back home, why didn’t you take it? You could have. Luna told me you opened it on the penultimate night, but yet, you chose to stay in order to wake her up. Why?”

“I... I don’t know, Princess. I didn’t even know that I could do anythin’. In fact, I’m still pretty surprised I managed to get this far. To do all that I wanted t’ do...”

“There’s nothing surprising about that.”

“N-no, Princess?”

“No, of course not. Dreams are the manifestation of inner wishes and desires and beliefs, are they not? They are the truths of the soul. The honesty of the heart. I wouldn’t put it past the element of honesty to be able to traverse the realm of truth with much more ease than others.”

“Oh... I see, Princess...” Applejack shuffled in her spot. She didn’t rather enjoy the spotlight like this.

“But, please. Answer me. Why did you choose to stay?”

“I really can’t... I mean, I don’t really have a reason, Princess. I guess I just wanted to help. It’s the same reason why I went up to visit her on the hill on Nightmare Night. I just felt... like she needed a friend. I mean, everyone needs friends, right? And... well. Pinkie here... she’s been stickin’ by me all through this problem. Always been there by my side, ready t’ talk it out or... or just give me somethin’ t’ drink.

“I figured maybe Princess Luna could’a used someone like that herself. I just didn’t wanna up and abandon her. I could’ve saved myself, but... then what about Princess Luna?”

“What about her, indeed?”

“Maybe... maybe she just needs someone t’ talk to. I mean... I guess... I don’t want t’... y’know. She’s a princess and all, and I’m just a lowly farmer, so it’d be kinda...”

“That’s always been the problem.” The edges of Princess Celestia’s mouth turning upwards in a kind repose. “Part of it, anyway. No one thinks that she might just want someone to talk to. Everyone puts themselves beneath her, and that is the last thing she wants. Especially after how she acted before you saved her.”

“But is it... y’know, appropriate?”

“When is it ever not appropriate to want a friend, Applejack?”

“Well... maybe I should... I mean... I’m really sorry that I didn’t do anything before, but I never thought...”

“No, really. No one was to know. But remember I mentioned that this happened before?”

“Yes, of course, Princess.”

“This is, of course, the first time that someone has ever made it so far but stayed behind. Other kind, honest souls found a way out, but did not hesitate to take their own doors. You are the first to wake Luna up. And this has two very... very big implications.”

“Yes, Princess.”

“The first is that Luna now knows, for the first time, the extent of what she has done to you and to all those other ponies that this occurred to. She is... beside herself in grief.

“But the second thing is that Luna also knows the lengths that a pony would go through to help her. But maybe she hasn’t realised this yet.”

“I... I understand, Princess.”

“So we are left with what we have to do next. I wanted to find out why you did this so I could understand what will happen, and I am satisfied with the answer.”

“I... don’t understand, Princess.”

“That is fine. It is not important.” Celestia looked Applejack straight in the eye. “As I understand, you came to Canterlot to talk to Princess Luna herself, have you not?”

“Yes, Princess,” Applejack replied.

“We brought her something...” Pinkie added, smiling nervously and pointing to the saddlebags on her back.

“She does not want to talk to you,” Celestia declared.

“O-oh,” Applejack muttered.

“But all the more reason why you should go see her.”

“B-beg your pardon?”

“She feels that she has offended you and that you would only... show her harshness. I am telling you this now only so that you understand that she will be unresponsive when you meet her. She will be uncomfortable. She might not even find the words to speak. There is a turmoil in her heart, and I believe you must finish what you have started.”

“But... but what can I do, Princess? I thought... I thought I’d just come up here to have a talk. I wasn’t expectin’ all this!”

“All you have to do, Applejack,” Celestia said as she nodded somberly, stepping aside and motioning to a set of large doors that lay down the hall opposite to the balcony, “is speak to her as you were going to from the start and hope that the truth breaks through.”

-*-*-

The huge doors swung open slowly, and Applejack stepped in.

She swallowed.

She almost wished this was a dream again, but there was no mistaking the nervousness on her face – her slanted eyebrows and gently quivering lower lip – as she stepped toward the large bed that graced the side of the room.

Everything else about the room was pleasantly serene. The warm noon sun poured through the open window, casting light upon the meager quarters. It seemed that Luna herself was not one for much extravagance, and only a single fancy carpet reposed in front of the fireplace, which had not shown signs of being used in a long while.

No portraits hung off the walls, nor were there any pictures save for one single photo of Princess Celestia that found itself on the bedside nightstand.

It was a lonely room, a sad room. Even with the clarity of day, the demons that haunted the space were ever so clearly seen.

Or maybe it was just that Applejack knew what to look for.

Applejack stepped to the middle of the room; there was a familiar mane that defied all laws, a stardusted swirl of night that flew in dead air, a sweeping blue segment of the night given form.

Princess Luna stood outside the entryway that led to her own, smaller balcony, where she stood and watched the small town of Ponyville, her mane wafting in the silence of the room.

Applejack took one final breath, and gently lowered a small basket to the ground.

“Princess?”

Luna’s head turned suddenly, jerking around, her cloud-like mane swirling as she went. Her wide eyes and flattened-down ears bespoke of her astonishment at the sight of who it was. There may have been a million thoughts or more, but none of these would her mind focus on, and to that end she remained, gaping, unable to say a single word.

“Princess. Don’t worry. Please. I’m not here t’ talk or... well... I guess I’m here to talk. I mean...”

Applejack couldn’t help it. Her first line, and she messed it up. It was all so... regular. But wasn’t that what it was supposed to be? Before she knew it, she was looking up toward the ceiling, laughing at the silliness of it all.

It was a few soft chuckles, followed by a soft sigh of resignation, and finally, a smile.

A smile directed at the Princess, who stood shuffling her hooves at the other end of the room, like Apple Bloom did when you caught her doing something rather silly indeed.

Suddenly it became a lot easier.

“Princess, sorry! Sorry. Listen’, I ain’t here for none of what happened. It’s all over if y’ask me.” Applejack nodded her head to the side to accentuate. “We don’t need t’ worry. ‘Specially not you.

“And I know, it’s... kinda awkward, and a little bit weird, so y’ don’t have t’ say nothin’. Just know that what happened? I know it weren’t your fault. I know it weren’t nothin’ you were doin’ on purpose, so... Bad things happen sometimes, and in the end, that’s all it is, and that’s all it ever need t’ be.

“You don’t even have’ta be sorry about nothin’!” Applejack stamped her hoof, that grin still on her face. “I mean, if you wanna talk about it, we can do that too, but only if you want to, you know? But I’d much rather just get on with things.

“So I tell you what, you really oughta come down and visit once in a while. It ain’t no trouble, I promise ya. In fact, all’a us would love to see ya, that’s for sure! You know, just for a social visit, or just t’ say hi. And I know. It’ll be a bit difficult at first but... hey, I tell you what, you can always come and see me anytime you want, alright? We’ll take things slow. And I know how hard it can be!

“But... I don’t think things are as bad as you think they are, Princess. I don’t think there’s anything to be worried about. So... well. I guess as they say, my door’s always open.”

Applejack nodded, finishing her little speech. Through it all, the princess had been silent, her eyes roaming, her chest quaking slightly. She still had nothing to say, but it didn’t bother Applejack at all.

“So, we got you a gift, too. Just to say 'no hard feelings'. I also realise what I did must’a been quite a bit of a shock to you as well. So here’s t’ say I’m sorry! And all I wanted t’ do was help, anyway. So... hopin’ you’ll forgive me.”

She pushed the present toward the princess, who took a step back instinctively, as if being approached by a fearsome beast.

“Well, so long, Princess.” Applejack beamed, heading back towards the door. “I’m glad we had this chance to meet. And please... I hope you’ll consider what I said. It’d be really grand t’ have a chat.”

The door slammed shut.

Princess Luna swallowed.

“I...” she finally said, holding her hoof out to the door. But it was a few moments too late.

She lowered her hoof again, slowly, sadly, as she blinked heavily. She felt her eyes grow heavy with moisture once again, even though she didn’t really understand why.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, to herself and to the wind.

Finally leaving the safety of the balcony, she pulled herself to the small basket that lay on the floor, trudging her way to the lid.

She nudged it open, and with a burst of magic, a small vase lifted into the air from within its nest.

It was a simple thing, made crudely out of red clay. It was uneven along its circumference, and it hadn’t been glazed. It looked hoof-made and even came complete with a little gift of a flower.

No – it was definitely so.

Etched into its side were two comically unsophisticated drawings. If it weren’t for the telltale hat and wispy mane, she might not even have recognized them as the simple portrayals of herself and Applejack.

But it was the word underneath the two faces. The chicken-scratch that that one single pony had put into the side of the vase, the innocent word drawn without the need for elaboration or extravagance. It was the meaning of the word that made her unable to keep the tears in any longer, and that which caused her to hold the vase to her chest, as if cradling a small child.

And as she closed her eyes and bowed her head, her heart pounding against the gift, she realised that one thing was so far out of her reach, but yet, there it was, in her hooves.

As simple as one pony giving it to another.

And it didn’t have to be anything more than that.

‘Friends’, the word read, etched in under the faces of Luna and Applejack.

Comments

[a3V]

The chicken-scratch that that single one pony

"Single" and "one" seem rather redundant. I assume only one of those words was supposed to be there?

Anyways, this chapter made this whole story worth it.

[Borg]

And here I was expecting a muffin.

You know, it occurs to me that I really had a very unproductive sleep last night. I left full of questions, and returned having gained nothing but a theory that was less correct than the one I started with. Everything I figured out, I figured out while reading, on the basis of observations and other inferences I had drawn while reading (some of which I had initially dismissed as silly). You had to give me a princess-sized ancient being of shadows—truly an unmistakeable sign—for me to actually believe that Luna was a player, and you had to give me a dream where AJ was clearly playing only a bit part for me to realize that it was Luna who was dreaming.
Verily, it was a pitiful performance.

[Graphite Scribble]

D'Awwwwwwwwww!

[AisheyruFox]

Aaaand here come the waterworks. Nope, don't mind me. My hearts just swelling with feels, is all good.