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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, I think this a great start to your story. Huge too, at about 20,000 words, maybe you should think about splitting it into smaller chunks. Well maybe not, although I think ~20,000 words should be about the upper limit.
I didn't notice any grammatical errors (not surprising given that you have some pre-readers and editors) so all good on that side.
One thing I would enjoy seeing is his SPECIAL levels (not required but it's a nice touch).
Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I...have.....FEEDBACK!!!!! Party time!!
I'm soo....happy...Anywho....ask and ye shall recive. I added Shadow's SPECIAL to chapter one there just for you my friend.
Its about as close to it as I could get using the Fallout 3 rules for the points i think he's a bit more Lucky then that, but that can always be fixed later. Oh PERKS, how I love thee.
As for the length, originally chapters one and two were one chapter. One chapter of nearly 40000 (over 9000 sorry I had to) words. My editor hit me soundly with a rubber hose and told me no. He then beat me some more for the many MANY errors in spelling I had made.
I want to keep each chapter around about the 15000 to 20000 mark as I think it makes for a feeling of, 'I wanna read more, but this is the right amount'.
Also, in case you didn't notice, I appreciate your feedback.
231588
...Impressive now release your anger
You must have sensed
that your friends are
in danger...
...wait...I mean, thanks.
Chapter Two should be up soonish.
Hmm...no more u tube video marathons for me before bed.
absolutely amazing
this needs more views
235636
Wish I had the same said about me lol.
Any who, I am going to miss my average FoE time and read this just cause it looks like a nice read! But dang 19 k words thats not even funny. Well it kinda is but not in a bad way. 232129 Yeah this is to you.
I'm going to read it, comment on it with complete honesty which will probably result in me going OMFG THAT WAS ARSOME. But It will probably take me roughly 2 days to read, looks like have something to read for the next few days. Congrats I will track dis. However I will hold my rating/favorite till I get done reading this. (I will probably like it anyway lol)
This looks like a very interesting story. good work! Going to have to read more later.
Oh Celestia... Another promising fallout fic...No sleep for me it seems.
Yes, I FINALLY got around to reading it like I promised I would.
I don't like to make judgements on first impressions, but it definitely was a good impression!
Excellent - it's rare to find a story of this caliber in the FO:E genre. Your writing has a real character, descriptions are vivid, the pace is intense, and looks set to only improve in later chapters. I'm a sucker for fics with ridiculously long chapters and consistent quality, it usually being a testament to how invested the author is in the story. Interesting that you chose to open with something that may/may not be the end. Anywho, looking forward to working my way through this behemoth.
All the YouTube links are working perfectly! Which is actually a problem, as there's three links to the same song all lined up next to each other for the phrase 'A storm of lead struck the wall beside me,'. It boils down to 'A storm of lead struck the w', 'all beside m' and 'e,'.
Yes, I managed to empty my Read Later list! Or rather, I realised that Read Later lists are never empty. Well, mine never is.
18 chapters? Okay, I'll bite.
500,000 words? Jesus fuck, it's M#7 all over again...
Nothing but positive reviews? Fine, I'll read it...
And since you seem to be so appreciative of feedback, I'll be sure to toss some at you.
Jesus fucking christ... That was some fine wordsmithing... Only minor errors with grammar/spelling and the like, but the story basically stole my attention right from the beginning.
This is your first story you say? Well jesus fucking fuck, keep at it. I will definitely be reading more of this. I thought I might end up wasting my precious time on leave, but no. This was time well spent.
A few things that annoyed the Army guy in me, you called a 'magazine' a 'clip'. These are two distinctly different things.
The other being how to clear a jammed bullet casing. Eject the mag, and cock the weapon. That will clear it 99% of the time, because it was probably a double feed.
It just goes to show though how hard I have to look for actual errors in the story... Seriously though, keep up the good work.
If you ever need to know just general military tactics or the such, let me know, and as a member of the CF, I can hook up.
Man I hate raiders! die die die stupid raiders! And I like the story, even though I HATE those damn raiders, they make me want to write my own Fallout Equestria story where those damn raiders die in the most horrible way possible, heh maybe them breaking into a stable (one full of Steel rangers would be appropriate)
3063723 the combat shotgun in fallout lacks a removable magazine. Although I prefer to use the term clip when ever I play games, its quicker, stop complaining about it, and a clip is used for older weapons like the M1 Garend. the last part was directed at my Marine Bro in law.
The National Rifle Association of Equestria. Who without their support, we’d not be able to blow away so many brightly colored raiders and bad ponies.
you should have called ME I have 20mm super enchanted assault rifle IT got enchanted magazine that bigger on the inside and LOTS recoil reduction enchants OOOOOOOO and folds up IT 20% COOL than thos stupid bloody raiders auto-canon
I only have a minor nitpick of a problem with this story. It is New Vegas with ponies and a start in a stable. However, these are good horse words, despite not being FO:E like the title claims. So, I am moving this to my finish later pile because I am binge reading FO:E stories.
5942286
Hey i dont mean to argue but an easy way to explain clips and mags is clips are almost always non removable without taking the gun apart note that i said almost in the m1s case it cannot be removed until youve spent all the shells in the clip qnd mags are detatchabe like a magazine on a pistol or modern ar