The summer vacation is over and school is about to start again. But Sweetie Belle made a bad decision that proved to have unforeseen consequences. As her relationship with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sours, she finds a new kind of relationship with another blank flank from school. And where is Derpy?!
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yay first to read
This is a very odd story. I am not sure how to feel. Intrigued? Disgusted? Confused? Hmm....
Please continue. ^.^
You know, much as I honestly, very, VERY much love Derpy the sub-plot with her is just so bucking random that I'm so confused, sure I get a chuckle here or there but it's honestly not needed, the story with Dinky and Sweets is serious and really should be addressed in a serious matter, I'm very surprised Pinkie is not kicking Sweets out of the shop for what she is doing, though Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are a little to harsh then I would have thought they can be angry but they are kind of taking it over the top with the way they are acting, even more so with knowing Sweets for so long, so as much as the sub-plot is funny, please get rid of it for this story at least.
Other then that the details and length very much draw you in, I shall be reading more, I very much enjoy this story
Other then remembering to say ponies instead of people unless of course you speak of a human and if the sup-plot for such a very serious story could honestly stop, I'm happy to read more of this, Raindrops is awesome and it's a new thing to see her drunk, and Octavia trying to go after the Doctor, well that is something I never seen before, impressive, wonder how the two know each other.
The kiss seemed a bit rushed and forced and.....was that Gluttony? If it was, AWESOME! I love the seven deadly sins, was nice to see Applejack, shame she was not in it so much, as well as Fluttershy, the fight with Dinky and who I'm going to assume is Gluttony was really quick and not much action, honestly a bit of a let down.
Nonetheless I shall continue reading
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The fight with this spirit was just supposed to be an appetiser for the final showdown, which I certainly hope won't disappoint 
I'm afraid the Derpy segments are essential, as they drop a few clues about what will happen. But yeah, they're mostly there for the entertainment. I'll try and see if I can find another arrangement.
And if there's one thing I like, it's messing with the background characters and give them distinctive personalities 
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I'm glad you liked it enough to make not one, but two comments. The only way I can improve is with the help of people pointing out my weaker points.
It's a little more foreign than Gluttony
I'm not used to writing romance, I have just a few stories in my repertoire. I'll try and make the intimate scenes a little more, uh... intimate in the future. The thing about Scootaloo and Apple Bloom is that they're both frustrated to begin with about a lot of things in their lives. The whole Sweetie Belle deal kind of pushed it over the edge.
Only one more part, hope you will stay tuned
This was......honestly confusing, I....I don't know, it was good, I guess, I just.......
I really loved this story because it dealt with not only my favorite of the CMC (Sweetie Belle), but also with weight gain. I'd like it if you wrote more stories like this! :) I really enjoyed it!