- Member Since 28th Mar, 2013
- offline last seen Monday
Craine
An old writer polishing his ways, giving feedback, and helping fellow authors. Nothing more.
Craine
Joined 28th Mar, 2013 ·
Offline
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I don't get it. Is Applejack dead? Is Rarity dreaming? I was trying to figure this out but its too hard.
-Ginger
I don't fucking get it either.
I doubt Applejack's condition (could not guess at what it is) will catch up with her soon, but I'm glad she forgave Rarity for being so silly. (love like that's going into denial sometimes).
Keep on being you author!
I'm probably going to come back and read it again, sounds like another print worthy tale.
Damn, that's sad. Applejack dying, jeez. I didn't get that until the final party statement, must be thick. Your writing style is a bit unclear to me at times, but I like the story and it feels very real emotion wise.
Well I got emotional and cried.
All the feels.
Great story,great writing. First I was a little confused..but in the end it all made sense.. and I cried like a baby
An ending is what it is missing.
The question is, how?
As per usual, you do a good job with showing emotions. All the same, I would really like an explanation for why Applejack is dying and why Rarity is so angry at Applejack for it.
woowee that was a spicy meatball of an ending. A pretty good story but out leaves me wanting more like why did Rainbow come out so confrontational or how did they get to this point at all but good story and a great song for sure.
That was different...a good different...and the song is awesome to.
This is what I had playing in my head however,
If theres another chapter to this...title it 'This Fire Burns.' you know it'll fit
These parts really pushed me to the verge of crying.
The ending, however was a little odd.
Oh god....No....That was too much...too many feels
Wow. Indeed, you delivered when you'd say it be heavy. My heart is actually hurting at the pictures that were painted. Last moments...last throw of passion, the sense of bitterness and betrayal and heartbreak... Damn!
I would have to agree with some of the comments that the story is a bit... out of sorts? Were some of these scenes memories? Did they actually happen? I also waited for Rarity's damn to burst, but all I got was the scene with RD. Interesting read none the less.
Could someone please explain the ending please.
good story none of the less
4450780
They dun fucked, son.
(Pre Warning: I will be talking about this story themes and imagery alot and won't be using the spoiler tag; otherwsie the whole things would be nothing but a black box. Don't read fruther if you haven't read the story yet)
You know, going into this I expected something really disjointed and weird; something that would take one or two reads to get into. Insted, I sat down and read it, only to find that I was very impressed with how you handled the whole thing. If i may go all literary ponce here (Fnar, Fnar) I honestly don't think it could have been written another way.
The whole concept of seeing it from Rarity's mind is well done. Maybe it's because I myself suffer from depression, but I honestly could recognise that same mindset in this story; the disjointed thoughts you have, the denial you find yourself in and the sheer animosity you feel to people sometimes when they try to bring it up. It sounds bad, but it is the case that sometimes you don't want to talk about it; even though you should. The way her mindset deteriorates through each section too is well crafted; the way in section two she's in sweet denial, cutting to the next one - after her confrontation with Rainbow - where it's all too clear she feels like eyes are upon her. This eerily feels similar and I applaud for how you handled this aspect.
I also think you handled Rarity's dealing with this condition tremendously. I liked the way it seems as if her world is crumbling apart; which I suppose, in a way, it is. She always strives to hold this image of perfection and control, and now here comes something she cannot fix which drives her, litearally, to tears. This is contrasts really well with Applejacks way of dealing with it - putting on a brave face and accepting the inevitable - and honestly, I think this really paints a picture of hwy this RariJack shipping works; I really can see that in normal day to day, both their attitudes would play off and bolster each other. The ending had a nice outburst of emotions to it and really was a great wrap up to the whole thing; the way Rarity's emotions come boiling to the surface and explode and the way Applejack is described with that simple, understanding look was quite powerfull imagery.
Sorry if the whole thing felt a little gushy - I'm not even sure if I really conveyed my thoughts properly - but I really enjoyed reading this and felt I had to show my appreciation for you writing it. I read that in your authors notes that you felt that something was missing, and I admit I got the same feel. But like you, I honestly don't know what it was. Everything fir nicely where it was and I'm sure what you could add. But I know one things, this was a great read and easily deserving of much more views than it gets.
Feels are killing me
Awesome and perfectly paced, especially the way rarity's depression was done
I think you were missing why Applejack was sick in the first place.