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My faithful student, Twilight. I ask that you please come to Canterlot immediately. I have an important task for you to take. This task will help us get a better understanding of species other than pony kind. Your teacher, Princess Celestia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What could Princess Celestia have for me to do? What will happen to me!?
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I like the idea, not new, but promising... I shall give it read.
...a bit fast-paced, but pretty interesting.
So...a random orphan in Equestria.
Would be fun to see her reaction to Spike.
Awaiting further releases.
a reverse my little dashie i like this alot you my friend have a new follower
I am interested go on.
So it obviously wasn't Earth where Twilight went...
it feels very rushed, but it is a good idea
I like the idea on where this is going, but could you hire some proofreaders or editors? I see a lot of mistakes.
A Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitle fast in the prologue. But I'm sure that it will be a bit more fleshed out in the actual chapters.
I await chapter 1 with GUSTO!
Welcome back to the land of the living. Saving this story for later.
You have my interest... And my favorite
For once a little girl gets her wish and some where out there a men breaks down and cries....
I like this. It's kind of rushed, but I like it.
So I like the idea, and I kind of like the idea of sending Twilight into the world with no real plan... cause usually something like this is planned with no real... chaos. But there in lies the problem, Celestia just sends her into that world with no real explanation on what she is supposed to do and then she just randomly finds Crystal. I noticed a lot of capitalization errors such as i being i instead of I. Also, there is a lack of explanations for Twilight's surroundings. She is in another world and it is her first time seeing humans... I'm just saying it should be more surprising to her. So, slow down for one. Get a proofreader if you can, and try to explain what they are doing when they talk. Like when the girl goes THIS IS SO COOL! After that maybe put something like she is jumping up and down or beaming wide. This is a neat idea and reminds me of Finding Harmony from before that was never finished.
I'll give it a shot.... so MOAR!
as others have said its a tad rushed and the people chasing her was a bit random but other then that it wasnt bad. definitly can be improved but not bad :) tracking and upvote
Not what a child can say: "and I can do all I can to respect you.” But the rest seems fine so far... MOAR!
Very intriguing.
Also, damn you sirs for treating her like a thing.
Hopefully that will be taken care of eventually.
Awaiting further releases.
“Would I send you to a place where you would be harmed?”
Oh let me count the ways Celestia.
First you send her to save Luna from Nightmare Moon, were they almost die a number of times.
Then you send them to take care of the sleeping dragon, once again almost killing them a number of times.
Then Discord happened.
Then the changelings.
And then the Crystal Empire.
And that's only naming what I remember. So yes Princess, you would send her to a place where she could get hurt.
Other then that, like everyone else is saying it's a little fast. Hopefully the next chapter will be slowed down a little.
2605167 ya i agree not something a child is prone to saying
but anyway this chapter was pretty cute near the end :) and hope to see more soon xP
IT BEGINS
"SHUBALUBALOP GUTEN VI ASCOT OND MAE HI'N AWESOMIO DA WELL CHUPACABRA MOMMY YAHSEEVEN D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!!!!!1!!11111one11!!!!!!11!!!!!"
"Doctor, we're losing him!"
"Not twice in one day, dammit! CLEAR!"
*BUZZ*
"NOT TODAY!"
*BUZZ*
"Sleepy time......"
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
"SON OF A-"
I do believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, that 'protoje' is actually spelled 'protege'. Anywho, great story. I really like it so far. Keep it up!
this is amazing
2617777 thanks
fixed it now 
I foresee great chaos, with hands powered by a young mind assisting the CMC...
I wish the human could get a cutie mark....................that would be Cool!
Also this deserves a follower and like
read it later, but it judging by the description and the tittle, it should be in motherhood is magic group
Very cute.
...hopefully, this does not simply veil the dark outcome brought on by the wretched other ponies.
She must act with tact as a complete alien to this society!
Awaiting further releases.
Crystal is with the CMC of course she isn't 100% safe xD
Hmm stories getting really good and can't wait for the next chapter :D
Why did you say that?
I can think of two Dimond teria and Silverspoon
Oh indeed.
There's always conflict.
After all, otherwise a story would not be niter tinting, no?
Awaiting further releases.
Typically during a Perspective change you alert the audience with either something like **POV CHANGE TO HUMAN XXXX** or a small icon of something. Say for example if its switched back to Twilight you would have an icon of her Cutie Mark and if it switches back to Crystal you have an icon of a human etc... just a heads up. Its not confusing here but if you do it back and forth it will be.
Ugh now,just waiting for,the,insuferable bitch and her lacky this wont go smooth...
'MLikin this...even though im super tired.
The story has potential but due to grammatical errors and a rushed plotline is boring to read... I doubt that within a day of twilight picking up crystal she would be called mommy. The best I can recommend to you is to maybe do a rewrite? great idea just needs more development.
So it seems that spoiled ponies will always be spoiled ponies until the end.
I wonder what that moron Filthy Rich is spending his time with that's oh so more important than teaching his daughter how to exist.
At the very least Crystal has friends.
Awaiting further releases.
But, but, you're the author! You can make it betters! MOAR!
I like the premise and the obstacles now in Crystals path. But the beginning of the story feels rushed and glossed over... There doesn't seem to be much world building in the start. For instance how did the humans now of these talking ponies? Why did they run? How long was Twilight there? did she make any other observations of the place? From what I have so far it feels like someponies have affected the world in a bad way for wherever the humans are. This seems to have led to a tragic local collapse in society that has left more orphans. Or it could just be Crystal was in a country where that unfortunately already happens...
It is not that I dislike Twilight's decision to bring Crystal (though it does seem rushed to get there it does seem right). There is just very little evidence to come to conclusions based off the beginning of the story for what is happening beyond the immediate characters. Not trying to discourage you just a friendly critique.
I want to see it complete, A VERY GOOD STORY
Can i make a cover pic??? It would be AWESOME
2893209
Sure, if you can!
2894717 thanks so much
well it ain't new for DT to ask new pony to go into Everfree forest for the shake of it. She already did that to Nyx ( I know your story has no link to that story but that situation just reminded me of past sins. )
Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Like I said in the last comment, "Murphy's Law", but hopefully this will help you
"Silverman's Paradox: If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will."
MOAR!!! plz?
UnleashedTwilight i got a question when will the next chapter for this story come out
hmmm... maybe we could make...
Crystle x