Rainbow Dash shows a surprising amount of manipulation to get Twilight out for a romantic night. Rarity might have helped a little.
Cover art by DoktorRainbowFridge
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 9th Jul, 2012
- offline last seen 37 minutes ago
Kavorke
I should be writing. Chances are I'm not.
Kavorke
Joined 9th Jul, 2012 ·
Offline
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Dislike because of text color, also because rainbow dash, fuck that bitch.
This is looking good. Not a mistake to be seen, and it was orchestrated well, I think.
Yep, this is funny. And good, can't forget good.
Well, so far I think it was cute, and well written. I don't know if it's finished now, but if it is, it was good.
2779118
WUPS
It's complete. My mistake.
2779126
Then yes, it was good.
Well, that was an enjoyable story. However, it feels incomplete, even if it says complete. We have Rainbow likes Twilight. We have Rainbow gets Twilight out on a date in a way that she won't stress over it and can enjoy herself. We get some bonding. And we get Rainbow confessing in the form of a kiss.
...but where's Twilight's answer?
I got some high hopes for this story. I haven't read very much yet, but your structure is very neat, and the storyline seems like it could be nice.
I'll toss you a like and a favorite. Nice work, sir of madame!
2779229
She didn't walk out on the date; she decided that she did enjoy the night and Rainbow Dash's company. She leaned against Dash on the hill and during the walk home, and didn't lean away from her paramour when she went for a kiss.
2779254
But, given how little Twilight actually knows about dating (Rainbow hit that on the head), up until the actual kiss, it could have been friendly and - for the kiss - embarrassment. If we don't see how Twilight responded to actually being kissed, for all we know she might leap back, stammering like crazy and run off to her room slamming the door, and Rainbow walks out realizing she blew it big time.
"Show me, don't tell me,"
What you did there,
It was seen.
This should get more views/likes. This is a beautifully written story with a really good plot. Thank you for writing this
2779336
That makes me feel all nice inside. Thank you for the kind words!
A sweet little dessert of a story. Lovely.
I wonder who she is...
Oh. My gosh.
This was the most heartfelt, adorable thing I've ever seen.
I mean, you just did it so well that I don't have any words for you... just wow.
Ok, this seems good... Short, but good.
~Skeeter The Lurker
HAHAHAHA. NICE!
SHe wins by nose boop!
~Skeeter The Lurker
That was a damn good one. They were in character, and I could see them doing all of this as well.
All in all, nicely done, if a bit short. But then again, not everything needs to be a 100-chapter epic.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2778903
Either a troll or a moron.
I think it was short and cute. Nice and light. Very nice. Shows that a good story doesn't have to be ~10K words. You do a lot with the few words you use. Very impressive.
Possibly the most believable way to get the two in a date possible for Rainbow. She sure knew how to push Twilight's buttons.
2780094 Indeed...
Why u be lurkin?
2780425
You haven't see me around? You're new aren't you?
~Skeeter The Lurker
Did anyone else start humming 'a whole new world' when they saw the cover art?
Aww, that was cute!
2780498
2780193
Those things tend not to be mutually exclusive affairs.
Also too short. You told the story you needed to, sure, but the ending was a bit... Abrupt. Don't take that harshly, though, because mate, it just means I crave more
2779075
I got a very waffy feeling from this
2780936
Um.......what?
That title....is that a pun to the whole "Show, don't tell" thing?
That... was a very nice story. I'm completely speechless. Just amazing. And very cute. You have no idea.
2780429
everybody knows this guy
awesome story. great characterization and flat out adorable. how could anyone not know skeeter, christ its the only tag ive seen that comments on things more than i do.
Quite a few words come to mind when I read this story. "Beautiful" was one of them. "Romantic" was another. "Well executed" and "In character" and a host of others, as well. I offer you an applause and a like.
ah yes the nose boop
2781869 Gotta love the nose boop ^^
Wow. For once someone managed to write a well written fan-fic for Twilight and Rainbow, that wasn't over ten thousands words, was sweet, simple, and gave out a bucket of feels! Not too mention it wasn't to cliche, which is really hard to find with these two in stories. Thanks for a splendid read
I think I'm dying of a cutegasm.
2782867
Wow. Even Fimfiction is plagued by these things?
I was a bit skeptical looking at the length, but I was pleasantly surprised, and happy that I was
This was a excellent little story, and nicely spread out and executed. Everybody seemed to be in character, and I loved the originality of the overall story, nice to see an original TwiDash fiction.
And the cuteness of it all,
Great work on this, I shall be checking in on your other works.
Beautiful and cute,
i.imgur.com/djjrzly.png
i.imgur.com/ZaEN90U.png
Well, that's one way to start a date.
Short enough to not drag on, but not so short that it felt rushed. Good characterisations, nice pacing, and feels-worthy moments of d'awwwsomeness.
I like this.
I approve and congratulations on being featured.
Hm. Not bad. They were in character. Good descriptions. The ending was a bit.... corny, but in a sweet way.
It reminds me of "Pick Me Up At Seven"
It's few enough words that you could probably have it all in one chapter, but it's still good.