So, I wrote this story...
By the time Discord reached what he felt was the conclusion of the story, the storm had whipped up into a fury. He yawned wide as he looked over at his clock, and noticed that not only had it changed into the shape of a cat, but that it was well passed midnight, "Wow, that took longer than I expected... Writing's hard."
Discord quickly hit the print button, and watched as the paper came out with his story on it with glee, "I can't wait to send it in!"
A week later, Discord received a letter from Equestrian Printing. Excited, he opened the package expecting to see how many ponies had read his story, only to for his face to fall flat when he found his story inside. He picked up the sheet of paper, turned it over a few times, then finally looked inside the package.
After digging through the over sized envelope a few times, he found a small note tucked away near the bottom. He pulled out the paper and looked it over and read it. Then he read it again, then once more just to be sure. The note read as follows,
Dear Mister Discord,
I am afraid that we here at Equestrian Printing, while we do allow anyone to publish a story for free distribution with us, have strict limits to make it worth our readers, and sponsors while.Your story has several flaws with it, including but not limited to, Author notes in the middle of the story breaking the flow, Improper uses of the parenthesis, flat characters, and lastly, this story is far too short at only Six Hundred and Thirty Six (636) words (we require a minimum of one thousand words per short story). Please correct these issues before you send this story back in. Sincerely yours,
D. McNitpick
Discord was in shock as he looked the note over and over again in hopes of finding something positive about his story, yet could find none. Finally he grabbed the paper and threw it on his desk, "What do they know, I'll show it to Twilight and see what she thinks! After all it was her idea."
Discord quickly snapped his fingers and instantly was in the guest room where Twilight Sparkle was staying, "Discord! What have I told you about entering without knocking?"
Discord groaned aloud, "Fine, Princess..." He said the word princess with a mocking tone as he made a door appear and knocked on it, "There, now may I come in, your highness?"
Twilight sighed as she put a dress in a suitcase, "I suppose, what do you want Discord?"
"Well you see, do you remember last week? How I was bored, and you were all, Hey you should write a story! And I said no. Well you see, Luna actually said the same thing later, so, I wrote this story..." he left it hanging in the air as he held up the sheet of paper for Twilight to see.
Twilight took the story in her magic with a smile, "Well let's see what you did here? Oh, oh my..." she stopped and actually read it a few times in mere moments before lowering the paper to look him in the eyes, "Did you, actually read what you were writing?"
Discord shrugged as he looked at some of the little nick nacks on the shelves, "I don't know, I just sorta shut my brain down and wrote what I was feeling at the moment," he paused to shake a snow globe before continuing, "Why? What do you think about it? Be honest with me, it's good right?"
Twilight tilted her head, then turned the paper over to look at it's back to see if there was more there, then read the whole story again, "Is it supposed to be a love story?"
Discord laughed and slapped his leg, "Really? A love story? Of course not, it's a biting piece of social commentary about how Luna has a nasty temper, and no sense of humor."
Twilight stared at the story for a few moments, and read a segment out loud, "He did as she commanded and looked up into her eyes, as he did he saw all the stars in her mane and was again enthralled. Luna then leaned down and kissed him tenderly on his lips. 'Tell me, what is your name?'" she paused and looked up at the old draconequus with a sly grin, "I never knew you had such a tender side! Why, your just an ol' softy aren't you?"
Discord's face turned red, then a putrid green color, "I think I'm going to be sick, never make such insults about me again. Now just tell me, is it good enough to send into Equestrian Publishing?"
Twilight's smile dropped, and she looked sheepishly at the ceiling quickly before answering, "Well... It's a good first attempt, at making a rough draft."
Discord immediately slumped down, "I told you that this was a dumb idea."
Sensing his sudden change in mood, Twilight quickly waved a hoof and tried to cheer him up, "No no no no no, you did fine for a first try, you just need some help. Maybe somepony that writes can help you work on it?"
Discord quickly perked up and before she knew it, he was right in her face, "So you're going to help me? Oh that's great! With you helping me out with all that, brainy... stuff you got going on I'm sure that this can become as great as I can imagine it to be!"
Twilight's eyes widened at the thought, "Me? Oh no I can't. I'm leaving back to Ponyville, I don't live here and now that I'm done with all this coronation business, I can get back to my studies. But maybe somepony else can help you."
"Oh," Discord said softly as he backed away, taking the story with him.
"Don't worry, everything will be fine! Why don't you talk to Princess Luna, maybe she can give it the critical eye you need."
Discord froze, and almost could feel the walls closing in around him at the suggestion. The lighting turned red, and a discordant sequel like a poorly played violin over a radio with far too much static cutting in filled the air, "Sure, what could go wrong?"
Discord stood just a few feet away from Princess Luna's bed, the perpetual darkness brought about by thick black curtains over the windows made the room so dark, that he could hardly see Luna, if it wasn't for her glowing mane and tail sticking out from under the blanket.
Discord crept his way closer, flying through the air twisting like a snake. He was upon her and grinned wide as he poked her side, "Wooonaaaa? Wakey wakey!"
She responded with a snort before turning over and grabbing her favorite plushie of the constellation Lupus Major. Discord held his breath for a few moments, only to poke her again. This time she uttered only one word, "Rosebud..."
He rolled his eyes at this statement before finally snapping his fingers. Ten gallons of water suddenly appeared over Luna's bed and floated there for a moment. The draconequus grinned as he pointed down at the bed, making it fall faster than gravity and soaking the occupant.
Luna gasped in shock as she sprung out of the bed, "ABANDON SHIP! PRINCESSES AND FOALS FIRST!" As gravity started to take its effect on the jumpy princess, Discord rolled through the air clutching his gut in laughter.
"What is the meaning of this! How dare thee intrude on my room!" Luna shouted as she rose from the floor, "I ought to roast you alive and serve you to the gryphons piece by piece!"
Discord stopped laughing and whipped a tear from his eye, "Oh Luna, the joy that you have brought upon me! It does these old eyes good to see you still have a sense of humor."
The soaked Luna slipped on the marble floor a few times before finally reaching the steady ground of her carpet to stand upright, "What in the world could possibly be so important, that you had to wake me up five hours before sunset! Aren't you supposed to be in Day Court right now?"
Discord waived his tallon through the air in a carefree manner, "Already taken care of."
Meanwhile in day court...
"So I pass it on to you, my ministers, to put it to a vote. Shall we pass proposal number seven two six b alpha into law? All in favor?"
Celestia watched as fifteen of the twenty five ministers raised a hoof, or in some cases talon, claw, or paw and said "Aye" in unison.
"All oppose?"
The rest of the members raised their right arm's and gave an echoing "Neigh" to be taken into account.
Celestia looked in the middle of the group and noticed that Discord had not voted either way, "Discord, what is your vote?" The cardboard cut out of Discord wearing his wig and robe simply bobbed its head on the spring it was attached to. "I see, so no strong feelings one way or the other?" It continued to bob its head about, "Right, well the ayes have it. Let it now be known that for the rest of the day the members of this court shall enjoy a party in the ball room to celebrate Discord's four months of freedom without turning Equestria into a giant rubber moose," The rest of the ministers applauded at this news before Celestia continued, "We should hire Trixie, that magician that Discord likes so very much, and pizza from Neigh's Original."
Back in Luna's room...
"It's not like I'm missing anything."
Luna snorted slightly as she shook herself dry as she could, "Well then what is it you want?"
Discord then waved his paw and all the water disappeared as if it was never wet to begin with, then passed Luna the story he had written, "I just wanted you to read this, maybe you can help me make it better?"
The princess snatched the paper out of his hand with her magic and began to yell at him again, "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU DOUSED ME JUST TO HAVE ME READ YOUR STUPID STORY?!" She started reading the story, then her face fell. Then a blush rose to her cheeks, lastly she began to shake. Discord sensed that something was wrong and ducked before the explosion, "HOW DARE YOU WRITE SUCH THINGS ABOUT ME!"
"Well, you see, I just wanted to-"
"OUT OUT OUT! And take this idiotic tripe with you!" She yelled loud enough to shake the room itself, then picked Discord up with her magic and threw him out her bedroom door so hard, that when he hit the other side of the hallway, he left a hole in the marble wall.
Discord lay still against the wall for a few minutes and watched the stars spin around his head. Finally after a few moments he responded as loud as he could, "As you wish..."
He started to get up, and rubbed the sore spot on his head. That's when the sound of cracking filled his ears. Discord turned to the sound to find one of the decorative pillars was cracking near the base, "No, no no!"
An open parasol appeared in his talon, he raised it up to help block the falling chunk of marble. It didn't work.
It was nearly sunset by the time Discord was finally let out of the castles private doctor's office, "Now keep that ice on your head until you feel better, okay?"
The draconequus nodded to reply, only for the sharp pain to strike him again, "Yes nurse, I get it," as quickly as he could he made for a swift get away, still clutching his story in his paws.
"I wonder where I should go next? Maybe I'll just go procrastinate in the garden," he thought to himself as he aimlessly wandered. As he did he floated past the huge double doors to the ballroom. Suddenly the doors flew open, and everyone from the board of ministers filed out laughing and carrying on.
"Wow, what a party!"
"I can't believe how modest Discord was through the whole affair, he was so cordial!"
"Yes, I'm glad he approved of my joke about the timberwolf, zebra, and a unicorn walking into a bar. Hey you wanna hear it again?"
"No, just no."
Discord groaned on the floor as the others walked past, not even seeing him. Suddenly he looked up to see Celestia had stopped by, "Discord, what are you doing out here? I thought you were at the table," She turned around to check, only to find the cardboard cut out was gone. She shrugged then offered Discord a hoof up, "That was a pretty good party, I'm so glad that you were there for all the pizza, and cake, and icecream and chocolate milk, cookies pies and soda. Why I particularly loved how good a sport you were about Trixie sawing you in half."
Discord looked up at this news as his eyes grew wide, "Wait, all that happened?!" He then groaned loudly as he took the hoof up, "Glad I enjoyed it..."
Soon enough the two were walking down the hallway, headed to the kitchens to let the staff know about the left overs. Celestia was in a cheerful mood as they walked, when suddenly she noticed the paper in Discord's hand, "Hey, what's that?"
Discord held up the paper to look at it and frowned, "It's a story I wrote, Twilight and your sister both said I should, but Twilight said that it needs work, and your sister... Your sister did not like it much at all."
Discord felt the paper suddenly leave his paw as Celestia took it in her magic, "Let me see this for a second," she glanced at the paper for a few moments, then continued walking. Discord, having nothing better to do, followed.
Soon enough the two were in the castles kitchens, as soon as the door opened, the head chef ran over and bowed, "Princess Celestia, and Lord Discord, thank you for stopping by my kitchen! How might I help you?"
Discord rose his talon to make an order, only for Celestia to interrupt, "I need you to get a staff together to clear space in the fridges for the leftovers in the main ballroom, waste not, want not and all that."
The chef bowed politely, then ran off to gather a crew. Celestia then put on her serious face, and a pair of reading glasses appeared on the end of her muzzle, "Now let's see what you have done here," she then began to read the story.
After a few moments, a smile appeared on her face, and it grew wider, and wider. Finally she took off her glasses and gave Discord a hug, "Oh how creative of you Discord! I'm so proud of your latest little hobby!"
Discord smiled a bit, "Well thank you! Maybe you can tell me how to make it better?"
"Oh, make it longer, but other than that I loved it!" She then walked over to a fridge and stuck it on with a magnet, "This is going to go right here. Right here, on the fridge, so everypony can see it. Right along with this fine art by Sticky Hooves," She then pointed out a crude drawing of a castle, and a stick figure Celestia and Luna, clearly drawn by a foal.
"Uh, thanks," was all Discord managed to get out.
That evening, Discord was once again in his room. Thanks to Celestia's over enthusiastic love of his story, it was now lost forever, and he did not feel like rewriting it. So instead, he brought back the computer, and was wasting time on the inter-dimensional-net, watching videos of cats.
As he did so, he suddenly got another idea. Quick as a flash, Discord opened up the word program and began to type, "Yes, YES! This will be my best idea since the stuffed deep dish thin crust pizza with anchovy, jalapeno, garlic, and pineapple! With cheese!"
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Hi. I'm the masses. Boo
Nah seriously though I love this story
Pff, corner of shame...
Anyway, why does that pizza actually sound appetizing?
I want a deep dish thin crust pizza. Mmm, paradoxes for breakfast.
Celestia is funny as hell, I can tell she's just pulling his strings, putting his story next to a foal's drawing.
I feel more sorrow for the parasol.
The title reminds me of "I wrote this" by Patrick Star
This is an amazing story. It's brightened my day enough to help me get through a spot of stress this finals week. Thank you for it. The very subtle Nostalgia Critic reference was awesome. xD
There are a couple of flaws that I noticed. Most obvious is "We should higher Trixie," which should be "hire Trixie," and "discordant sequel" should be "discordant squeal."
Also, what is [hr[ ?
Other than those that I pointed out, I love this story, and it's gotta be Discord at his most adorable.
2586198
Ah, that [hr[ is an oops. Its supposed to be [ hr ] (without the spaces) to make a page break.
Thank you for spotting the errors, and its so nice to see you again Blitz!
I can tell this was the reason i started
stalkingfollowing you, Phoenix...Please, keep it up!
I really like how this story is going on.
And that part with the refrigerator.
I'm still laughing.
Were thou by any chance craving pizza? After reading thy story We certainly are! Excellent as always.
PRINCESSES AND FOALS FIRST!
2586614
~bows respectfully~ Naturally Princess, I always crave what I can't have!
This reminds me so much of when I started writing.
Especially this part.
Nothing... or everything.
I take it she liked it, but was angered that her life was not as good as it was in the story.
I don't know why, but Celestia just so...out of character this chapter. Other than that, it was a good read.
I loled so hard!
I now want to see DiscoLuna, if only because it has never been done before. Also Twilight feels kind of unneeded in this story, beyond being best pony and therefore being an automatic improvement upon any story here.
Oh Discord, now you know why you must never skip important meetings!
2586939 She just came back from a party. Clearly she's still not completely sober.
On the fridge of all places... My stories never get put on the fridge...
Hmm. That sounds familiar.
Douchey!
*snerk*
Should be " Discord's four months of freedom". Unless of course you did mean moths, in which case I would like to hear more about them.
2590045
Fixed, and thank you for spotting that for me!
Lived up to expectations? It went BEYOND them! I was laughing from beginning to end. And I actually thought it was sweet that Celestia genuinely cared about his story, and encouraged it.
2591132
You are far too kind.
Now I just need to come up with about 10 more ships, and then I can have a fleet!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW...poor Discord missed out on Trixie? Damn, that's a serious fail
Luna seems to not be amused by his tricks and Celestia is a little to hyped about his story, like a mother being happy of her son's grades....save for the fact that Discord is EONS older! Still, loved it very much, can't wait for more
2591949 Oh my gosh! This is awesome. Maybe Luna can get her revenge on Discord by writing a ship fic about him
now that would be funny
. You may earn your self a follow, my good sir 
My god.... its full of references.
Oh Luna.....
2585890 Mwehehehe feaarrr usssss..
Seriously though, even if (The moon crashes into the sun, discord comes to the real world and pinkie admits she hates parties aka NEVER) somehow the fic stops being awesome, we'll still love the first few chapters. Honestly though, I'm really enjoying this.
sorry for making you nervous btw
Very smart on Celestia's part!
With some 'motivation' on writing, Celestia will know that Discord's hooves/paws will be full of 'hard work'!
Oh, Celestia, you!
What's he writing about?! I can't read the next chapter right now cause...well...stuff...
With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese!
that actually sounds like a good pizza.
That is truly chaos.
3006066
Except for the jalapeño it sounds delicious!
HANG ON!
Is that a Douchey McNitpick reference I see there!?
That's SO fan fic! Twilight as the "Advise to revise" comment, Luna is the "I HATE IT! I'M SURPRISED YOU CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT" comment, and Celest as the "What a great fic, but make it longer"
Cardboard cutouts are always the perfect decoy
I've actually no joke put all those topping on a pizza, and it was not bad by any means necessary.
That pizza actually sounds pretty good!
murphy, discord wants to make an appointment.
I lost it at overbearing mother Celestia putting Discord's drawing on the fridge.
My favorite bit so far.