The Chronicles of Swarm: The Equestrian Front

by kildeez

Chapter VI: Gathering Forces

In the kitchen, Rarity sprinkled a touch of cinnamon into the large pot bubbling on the oven. “That’s too much, consarn it!” Applejack said, swatting at her hoof with a wooden spoon. “You makin’ hay soup, or a gingerbread house?”

“Any decent dish can be made even better with just a touch of sweetness added,” Rarity replied haughtily. “Honestly, for somepony who makes so many baked goods, one would think you would know that.”

“Are you insultin’ my cookin’?” Applejack snorted.

“No, I just…”

“Don’t forget the sprinkles!” Pinkie Pie interrupted, bounding past them with a trail of confetti billowing out behind her as she threw a jar of chocolate jimmies into the pot.

“Oh Pinkie, now it’s ruined!” Rarity moaned.

“Seriously, hon, you may know desserts, but let the other ponies handle dinner.” AJ sighed.

“What? Everypony knows that any dish can be improved with enough sprinkles!”

“That is so completely wrong Ah don’t even know where t’start.”

“Twilight! Are you going to help with dinner, or not?” Rarity moaned in the direction of the little purple unicorn hunched over the kitchen table, her notebook open in front of her.

“What would a species like his even eat…” Twilight mumbled, obviously lost in her own little world, at least until Fluttershy trotted in with a massive platter containing every single fruit and vegetable in her garden balanced on her head. “Fluttershy! What in Equestria…”

“Well, we don’t even know what Mr. Uris might eat,” she replied bashfully. “So I thought we should try just a bit of everything.

“Oh, let ‘im starve!” Rainbow Dash called from the couch, the helmet spinning atop one of her hooves. “If he won’t tell us why he’s here, why should we bother t’feed him?”

“Fluttershy, that’s a wonderful idea!” Twilight said with a glare in Rainbow’s direction.

“Really? You really think so?”

“I know so! Here, let me help you.” The unicorn balanced part of the tray on her horn and helped ease it down the hall and into Uris’ room.

“Mr. Uris!” She called, backing in through the door, “We bought some…”

The tray clattered to the floor as Fluttershy dropped her end, interrupting Twilight. “Oh, Fluttershy, the food! What’s wrong!?”

The little yellow pegasus just stood, gaping at an empty bed with ruffled sheets. Just above the still-warm pillow, a window stood wide-open, its curtains billowing in a gentle breeze. “Where is he?” She asked in fright.

“Oh, I’m sure he couldn’t have gotten too far…” before Twilight could finish, Fluttershy took to the air, whipping across the room and shooting out the window at speeds that would impress Rainbow Dash. “Wait, Fluttershy! Wait!” Twilight started after her, but she could already tell she would never catch up. The little pegasus already had a massive head start, and with her newfound speed, she was nothing but a yellow speck darting through the wilds of the Everfree forest in no time at all.

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Celestia tapped a hoof impatiently on the barely-existent ground, keeping track of time using the pulse bursts of a quasar some two light-years away. Late. Every last one of them. She sighed in frustration. She had expected this from Swarm and the god of chaos. After all, they were…well, Swarm and the god of chaos. But Luna? Heaven knows Luna should have been here by now. “What is keeping you, sister?” She muttered under her breath.

“Just a wish to see thee concerned, sister dearest.” Celestia turned just as Luna appeared, seemingly materializing from the dark matter swirling about them. As was her trademark, her cape swiftly disintegrated into a flock of bats, which flew off to God-only knows where.

“Luna,” Celestia smiled warmly. “Longing for the days of Nightmare Moon, are we?”

A shiver traveled up the Princess of the Night’s spine. “Never, sister. But thou doth knoweth what they say about old habits.”

“Of course, sister, I was merely poking a bit of fun.”

“Speaking of poking fun, I hope that’s all thy letter to summon me here was,” Luna stifled a giggle. “I mean, really? Teaming up with the Lord of Chaos himself? To fight some non-descript evil in the twilight between realms?”

“No, dearest sister,” Celestia said with a grimace. “I am afraid that letter was very serious.”

Luna froze for a second, then put a hoof to her mouth to stifle another giggle. “Oh, good one, sister! Thou almost hadeth me there! Thou were so serious it almost made it seem like we would be dealing with…”

“…the real deal?” A familiar voice with just a hint of an English accent asked. Luna’s body locked up in sheer terror as Discord appeared just over Celestia’s head, snaking his long body down towards her and coiling around her neck. Much to her disgust, he began stroking her chin ever so slowly while gazing into her eyes. “The real McCoy? The genuine article? The one, the only, the actual,” he sprang from Celestia’s body and burst up towards the sky, a random cascade of fireworks and confetti following him as he tossed back his head to roar…

“Discord!” Luna gasped, backing up into a battle stance.

“Mmm-yes, quite,” he sighed, drifting back down to the solid dark matter plane which formed the ground beneath the Princess’ hooves. “You know, it is very rude to interrupt someone when…”

“HAVE AT THEE, FOUL CREATURE!” Luna charged, lightning bolts cascading from clouds which materialized around her body, held in place by the sheer force of her magic. As she approached, he yawned and side-stepped easily, sending her crashing into her sister.

“Ow,” Celestia sighed.

“Sorry, sister,” Luna said sheepishly.

“Oh, I’d almost forgotten how much fun you and your sister could be, Luna!” Discord sang, hovering just over her body and prodding her nose cutely. “You with your desperate struggling about and futile attempts at combat: it’s just like the good ol’ times!”

“Discord! Enough!” Celestia growled, pulling herself out from under Luna and returning to her hooves as fast as lightning. “I’ve been infinitely patient with you, but if you want, I can call off the deal at any time!”

“Oh please, Princess,” Discord floated over to her and looked her straight in the eye. “If you had any choice at all, you never would’ve even considered the deal. And if you’re in a situation that desperate, you are in no position to make any sort of threat.”

“Maybe she isn’t, but I am.” A calm, collected voice said behind him. He twirled to see a young Asian man, wearing a full business suit complete with black tie and highly-polished black leather shoes, peering at him from behind a pair of designer eyeglasses.

“Ooh, the Chink brother! I’ve been hoping you’d show up!” Discord drifted over to the man, who continued to stare passively off into the darkness. “Let me guess: your counterparts figured I might be able to pull out the stick that’s been lodged in your rectum since birth?”

“Actually, they thought this battle could use a bit more of a hands-on approach,” the man studied his nails coolly. “Besides, I was the only one who could spare the extra power. Heaven knows our forces are spread all over.”

“Ooh, splendid!” Discord clapped childishly. “After all, there is only a billion of your kind running around, right? Who better to make the big sacrifices than the one who can afford it?”

He grinned and danced right up into the man’s face, whispering: “Glad to see our ways of thinking aren’t completely different. We have some common ground after all, isn’t that splendid?”

Casually brushing a small bit of Discord’s spittle from his jacket, the man reached up and grabbed him by the tuft of hair on his chin, dragging him down to glare directly into his eyes. “With a mere thought, I could cast you into one of many supermassive black holes present in one of the universes which has no underlying framework to support magic. And yes, both those things exist, and yes, they are absolutely impossible to escape from. Just you, alone, in the dark, without your ability to conjure so much as a chocolate milk-soaked marshmallow, forever.”

For the slightest moment, the tiniest bit of fear crept into his mismatched, blood-red eyes, then that insufferable smile returned to Discord’s face. He pulled himself free of the man’s grip with ease, “Oh, do quit the melodramatics, little one.”

“If we’ve had enough jabbing at each other for one day,” Celestia stepped forward. “Could we please get back on-task? Swarm…or, I’m sorry, which name did you wish to go by?”

“Chen Li.” The man replied, taking one of her glass slipper-covered hooves in one hand and kissing it. “At your service, Princess.”

Blushing, Celestia quickly regained her composure, “Well, Mr. Li, your European counterpart informed me that you would need time to prepare for battle.”

“Indeed I do,” the man replied, “If you don’t mind…”

“Oh, not at all. Take as long as you need, my good sir.”

Bowing, the man extended his arms out as far as they could go and brought his hands together in a massive clap that echoed off into the eternal distance. Starting at the sleeves, his suit transformed into a silken white robe in the space of a second, glistening in the semi-darkness. The fine shoes became padded slippers, engineered for absolutely perfect motion and traction, and the glasses disappeared from his face. The businessman was now gone, replaced by the ultimate hand-to-hand warrior. “Thank you for your patience,” he said, bowing once more.

“Showoff,” Discord mumbled.

“Brilliant!” Celestia gushed as she returned to her sister’s side. Realizing Luna hadn’t said anything in the past few minutes, she looked to the Princess of the Night and found her staring wide-eyed at the scene, eyes darting from Discord to the man and back again, mouth hanging open.

“Luna, dearest, you’re going to catch flies like that.”

“I…” Luna started, trailed off, swallowed, and attempted a reboot, “I…that’s a human!”

“Yep!” Celestia said cheerfully.

“And Discord!”

“Yep!”

“We’re working with the Lord of Chaos himself and a human to fight an enemy! This is a thing! That is happening!”

“Yep!”

The Night Princess turned to her sister, her eyes still wide as dinner plates, “Sister, there is much you have neglected to tell me.”

“Yes,” Celestia sighed, the smile fading, “It is complicated, Luna, but I will try to explain our situation as best as I can.”

“Take as long as you need,” Li said, “You extended me that courtesy, and so I shall return it.”

“You have my thanks.” Celestia replied, throwing a now-babbling Luna over her back and hauling her off into the darkness.

Discord gazed over at Li and grinned, “I wonder what antics those two could get up to while they’re alone.”

“Oh, do try to take this seriously.” Li sighed with a roll of his eyes, “We are about to face a powerful foe, I would appreciate it if you did not make references to internet phenomena.”

“Molestiaaa…” Discord chimed, “Admit it: it gives you a poner just thinking about it. Just a little hard. C’mon. Admit it.”

Li’s face turned bright red. “I swear that I have no idea what you are talking about, now could we please try to remain focused on the task…”

A small bit of his pants vibrated, and before Discord could crack another smart-ass comment the man swiftly scooped a small cell phone out of a non-existent pocket and flipped it open, leaving Discord to wonder where the phone had really come from and why a man of nearly God-like power was using a leftover staple from the early 00s. “Too cheap for an iPhone?” He asked with a smile. The man raised a finger at him, nodding along with the person on the other side.

“Yeah,” he said, “We’re all together…uh-huh…okay, I know you won’t be able to close them all, but we just need you to close enough. Just enough to keep us from getting totally overrun…uh-huh…okay, Sari, I…yes, I love you too…Okay…I will be, buh-bye.” He smooched the speaker and flipped it shut, shoving the phone into a pocket which promptly blinked right back into non-existence.

“So, who was that little cutie on the other side?” Discord asked.

“That ‘little cutie’ will be responsible for shutting as many of the portals in this region, blocking the vast majority of the enemy’s forces and possibly giving us the small edge we need to survive this day. So I would watch my words if I were you.”

Discord sighed, “Fine, sorry I asked.”

“It is okay. You are forgiven.”

The Lord of Chaos snickered, one of his crooked teeth gleaming at the man, “Well, at least I know why your comrades chose you to help out here.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“You’re the one most likely to get under my skin.”

“I believe that is the closest thing to a compliment you have given me thus far.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

Comments

[Strythio]

Molestia... It does have an odd ring to it if you put it in Discord's voice. xD

Firsts time I've read a crossover story like this, might take me a few more chapters to get used to it and all.