Chapter 40 - Heroes
Chapter 40 - Heroes
The narrow mountain path wound its way along the side of the mountain and had, much to everpony’s relief, started heading downwards. The wagon had been abandoned a couple of days ago when the path became too narrow to safely take it any further. All their saddlebags now bulged with a mix of Wheat Thorn and their steadily dwindling supplies.
Pausing, Sunbeam looked down into the valley, and it’s long lake, before looking up and taking a deep breath. A few steps away was a wide ledge with some large boulders around the edge. Boulders just large enough for a mare to cower behind as she hid from a mountain troll.
She jumped when Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder. “You okay there sugar? Your leg playing up again?”
Sunbeam shook her head as she walked onto the ledge, her eyes darting around, looking for anything suspicious. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of a bundle of cloth wedged under a boulder. ‘No! Not after all this time! It can't be...’
Walking over to it, she reached under the boulder and pulled the bundle out. Sitting back on her haunches she held it up.
Sunbeam stared at the mouldy cloak.
Walking up to her Applejack shook her head. “Oweee, looks like something's done a right number on that.”
Sunbeam just stared at the cloak, at the side that had been reduced to nothing more than tattered strips. ‘Buck! Good thing I wasn’t wearing it when...’ She tilted her head as she looked closer at the item. ‘Wait! This isn’t a guard cloak! The cut is all wrong and they certainly don’t have flower patterns hoof-sewn onto the pockets.’
Her ears folded flat as noticed the dark stains around the tears and the broken clasp.
“This isn’t my…”
Sunbeam dropped the cloak and started frantically looking around, her mane whipping from side to side as she did so. “We need to get moving! We need to keep moving!”
***
Sunbeam trudged through the light pine woods, occasionally throwing a glance behind them. ‘So glad to get through mountains without getting eaten. Again. Suppose I should take a moment to show my appreciation.’
Stopping, she turned and adopted a dramatic pose as she faced the mountains… and proceeded to make an obscene gesture at them.
‘Ah, that feels so much better.’ Sunbeam looked ahead, ignoring the shocked look on Rarity’s face. ‘And now to try and -not- think about what awaits me in Ponyville.’
Looking down, she kicked a pine cone and watched it bounce off as her ears fell flat out to the sides.
‘Oh I don’t need to think about it do I? I know just how this is all gonna play out. This has all happened before.’
Sunbeam looked up at the sky through the trees. ‘Sunbeam -had- a chance to fit in as nopony knew her. Icefang… not so much.’ She grimaced. ‘I doubt the good ponies of Ponyville are going be thrilled with the prospect of having ‘The Monster Icefang’ living with them. I mean, think of the property prices…’ She snorted. ‘Oh I can see it all now, the sidelong glances, the hushed whispers, the crossing to the other side of the street at the sight of me. All the terrified, fake-polite smiles.’
Sitting back on her haunches, she rubbed her face with her fore-hooves.
‘But let’s not forget the best part, the part where scared ponies become resentful ponies. Resentful ponies, given enough time, eventually start lashing out and doing stupid things. Oh, I -will- defend myself if anypony tries anything.’ She dropped her fore-hooves back to the ground. ‘But no matter what happens, or who starts it, it will always be my fault… Buck. Annnd this is why I hate thinking about the long-term future, it’s so depressing.’
Taking a deep breath she set off again, the pine needles crunching under her hooves. ‘Damn, the more I think about it, the more staying in Ponyville is starting to sound like a bad idea. A really bad...’
Pinkie wrapped a hoof around her shoulders and hugged her tight before bouncing off.
Sunbeam watched Pinkie for a couple of seconds. ‘Damnit, can’t a mare mope in peace? Of course, I could be wrong about the ponies of Ponyville.’ She looked around. ‘Of course hope -is- such a double edged sword.’
***
Sunbeam lifted up a mug of coffee as Twilight, sitting opposite her over the campfire, watched her with a furrowed brow.
“You know you’re not going to get much sleep if you keep drinking all that coffee Sunbeam.”
Sunbeam shrugged. “That is the general plan Twi.” The mug was drained and put down before she looked up at her. “Speaking of plans, with Ponyville being a few days away now, what is the plan when we get there?”
“Get the next available train to Canterlot. I’ve done the figures. While it might be slower than an in-flight pegasus, it’ll keep going when that same pegasus needs to stop and rest. Only Rainbow would be fast enough to make a make any real difference in overall travel times. And that’s even before I start factoring in the effects of being weighted down with a payload of wheat thorn.”
Sunbeam nodded. ‘Good. Pretty much what I hoping to hear. I can spring it on her at the train station. That way she won’t have time to prepare. Now onto more important things.’
“Twi, I have another tiny question…”
Twilight looked at her.
Sunbeam looked down as her hoof began drawing circles in the earth. “I’m kinda… I was wondering… I’m…”
‘Get a grip! Horseapples, It’s not like you’re going into battle.’
She rolled her shoulders.
‘I -feel- like I’m about to go into battle.’
She licked her lips and tried again. “I’m planning…” Sunbeam’s voice tailed off. She took a deep breath in and tried again. “I’m party a plan… I mean I’m party planning…” Sunbeam growled as she stamped a hoof. “I am... planning... a... party.”
Twilight sat back, her eyes wide.
Sunbeam took several calming breaths. “I mean to say, I am planning a little get together with pizzas and booze. Around my place. At some time in the near future. I… I was wondering if you wanted to come?”
“I…”
Sunbeam held up a hoof. “The rest of the girls have already said yes, but I know you’ve got princess duties. And this is all a bit sudden... Annnd things have gotta settle down a bit first. So if you can’t make it, I’ll understand. But, I was kinda hoping...” She gave Twilight a small smile.
Twilight fidgeted, playing with her hooves. “Well... as you said, obviously we have to wait for this all to settle down first. And I’ve no idea how long that will be! But, but… I will see what I can do.”
Sunbeam slumped in relief. “Thank you, that’s all I can ask. Oh, ummm, by the way, I’ll be needing to borrow some books from the library.” A hoof came up and rubbed the back of her neck. “Anything you’ve got on ‘how to throw a party’ really.”
***
Applejack yawned and stretched before sitting up and looking around the camp. Apart from Rainbow and Sunbeam, all the other girls were still asleep.
'I reckon about an hour to sunrise judging from the light.'
Stretching, she got to her hooves. “Mornin,” she whispered.
Rainbow nodded back as she continued getting breakfast ready while Sunbeam glanced up from the coffee she was holding.
Applejack took a half-step back at her bloodshot eyes. “Tartarus girl, you get any sleep last night?”
Sunbeam played with the coffee mug. “A few hours. Here and there. I’ll be okay when I get back to Ponyville AJ. I just need to hold on a few more days, then it’ll all be okay.” She turned her head away and mumbled something.
Applejack tilted her head. ‘Did she just say something about ‘owl’s sleeping at night’?’
***
It was less than a mile to Ponyville now and the path they were on had wooden fences on both sides. Cultivated fields lay beyond the fences and the ‘Sweet Apple Acres’ orchard was visible in the distance, covering the hills in front of them.
Sunbeam nudged Rainbow and pointed to a solitary tree in a field growing cabbages. Lifting a hoof, she made a long gliding action with it, before suddenly shaking her hoof wildly and then stopping it abruptly in line with the tree.
Rainbow stuck her tongue out at her.
Twilight turned to look at the others. “At this rate, we should get into Ponyville around early-evening, just in time to catch the evening express train to Canterlot. As it gets to Canterlot close to midnight, it shouldn’t have many ponies on it. It’s more a goods train at that time of night.”
She looked back up the track. “But it’s going to be close, so if we can please pick up the pace a little girls. We’ll head straight for the station, that way we shouldn’t run into too many ponies.” She looked down. “I don’t want to appear rude, but we won’t have time to stop and answer questions.”
Rarity flicked an ear. “What about Spike darling? Won’t he want to know you’re back?”
“Spike will be in Canterlot. He went with the guards dressed up as us remember.”
Rarity nodded. “Oh, of course.”
Applejack looked up. “Well sugar, if we’re all catching the train, I hope you brought enough bits to pay for everypony's train ride.”
Twilight stopped dead, her ears falling out to the sides.
Rainbow put her good wing around Twilight. “Well Twi, you said you never wanted to do it, but looks like you’re gonna hafta pull rank and get us all a free ride.”
“They will be reimbursed.”
***
They all looked at Sunbeam as the train stood ready to leave.
Lifting a hoof, she waved them goodbye.
Twilight took a step forward. “Sunbeam… What do you mean you’re not coming?”
“Just that. I am not going to Canterlot.” She held out some papers towards Twilight, who accepted them without thinking. “My notes on how to make the antidote, it’s not that hard. Any problems, well, you’re a smart filly.”
“But… but…”
Sunbeam looked away. “I am not going to Canterlot.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I know what’s up there.”
Applejack turned and got onto the train. “C'mon sugar, the train is waiting and we need to get going. If Sunbeam wants to stay here, so be it.”
Sunbeam nodded. “I’m not going anywhere. Pizza party to prep for, remember?”
Twilight kept looking between the train and Sunbeam. “Sunbeam please, I need to…”
Sunbeam pointed to the train. “You’re holding up the train Sparkles. Do you want to be responsible for throwing off an entire train schedule? Besides, you’ve got to get the antidote to the princesses as quickly as possible, don’t you?”
She winced. “I… I…”
Rainbow stepped forward. “I’ll stay with her and make sure she doesn’t get into too much trouble.” Everypony turned to look her as she grinned sheepishly. “Besides, Ponyville Hospital does have my current medical records. And I really want to get this...” She turned and gave her wing a glare. “Looked at as soon as possible. Not being able to fly is driving me nuts.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, this… I can’t…”
Rarity started boarding the train. “Darling, you’re the one who wants to get the antidote up to Canterlot as quickly as possible. I’m sure that Sunbeam can keep Rainbow out of trouble.”
Rainbow smiled. “Yeah what Rares said… Wait! What?”
Twilight looked between the train and Sunbeam and winced. She could feel the stares of the ponies around the station on her. "I..."
The train blew its whistle.
A second passed before she threw her hooves up into the air. “Ugh! Fine! The antidote is the most important thing! Curing the princesses, and others, is the top priority.” She looked at the two on the platform. “Please be careful Rainbow, Sunbeam.”
Rainbow threw a hoof around Sunbeam’s shoulders, making her flinch at the touch. “No probs Egg Head. We’ll be fine.”
Sunbeam smiled wanly. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here when you get back.”
Twilight turned and boarded the train.
***
They were the only ponies in the passenger carriage as Twilight checked the clock.
“We should get into Canterlot station a little after midnight girls, and from there we’ll take the goods delivery route up to the castle. While it’s not the most scenic of routes, it is the fastest by a fair margin.” She settled down into her seat. “We’ll then enter the castle via the goods delivery bay. As it is one of the few, truly, twenty-four-hour parts of the castle, it has the bonus of having a high-level castle official permanently based there.”
Twilight felt herself relax a bit as she went over her plan again without finding any flaws. “It will be the ‘night operations manager’ on duty by the time we arrive, and he is of high enough rank to be kept informed of what’s going on in the castle. So he’ll know just where the Wheat Thorn needs to go without having to waste time going to ask other ponies.”
She smiled. “And once the wheat thorn is heading off to the right ponies, then we can go to see Princess Luna. This way she won’t have to take too much time away from her night-court having to organize things.”
They all nodded.
Twilight turned to look at Pinkie as she seated herself next to her. “I thought you might have stayed in Ponyville with Sunbeam Pinkie.”
Pinkie gave her an odd smile. “I feel Canterlot is where I need to be.”
Twilight opened her mouth before closing it and letting out a sigh. “Pinkie Sense?”
Pinkie nodded with a grin.
Resigning herself, Twilight looked out the window. ‘Pinkie sense aside, everything is going as planned. Why do I feel I’ve overlooked something?’
***
Sunbeam and Rainbow watched as the train left the station.
Turning away, Sunbeam set off. “Well, c’mon then. Let’s go to the hospital and get ourselves checked out.”
Rainbow turned to follow her. “I thought you didn’t like hospitals.”
“I don’t. But I do know when I need to go.” Stopping, she reached up and touched her half ear. “Been kinda in the wars lately, in case you haven’t noticed. Lost half an ear, had my cutie marks burnt off, some maniac tried to hack my horn off and... “ She lifted her foreleg up. “...I’ve got this nasty little gash on my leg.” Turning her head, she smiled at Rainbow. “You know, I’m beginning to think that hanging around you lot is bucking dangerous!”
An innocent expression flitted on Sunbeam’s face as she walked off again. “Oh! And while I’m there, I might as well get my magic reserve checked out. Who knows, they might even say it’s okay for me to take this damn ring off my horn.” Her expression turned neutral. “Won’t Twilight be sooo glad to know she can stop worrying about me not being able to cast magic.”
***
Twilight looked around Canterlot station as they got off the train. A group of ponies had already started unloading the freight wagons behind them.
Twilight looked up when she felt several spots of rain. Most of the ponies working on unloading the train momentarily stopped and looked up as well. Some of them mouthed something she doubted was complimentary about the weather team.
“C'mon girls, this way.”
The orange glow from the street lamps gave the empty street a sombre feeling as Twilight marched along it, her eyes fixed on the castle as the rain started.
***
Applejack could see the road they were on wasn’t going to the main entrance. Instead, it was headed directly up to the side of the castle.
She looked up to the night sky and blinked some moisture out of her eyes. The rain had been light, but persistent and they were all thoroughly soaked now. Their manes were plastered to the back of their necks and their sodden tails hung limply behind them.
Turning a corner, and side-stepping to avoid a puddle, Applejack had her first clear view of the goods delivery bay.
‘Oooweee...’
Floodlights lit up a hoof-ball length wooden platform that was set against the cliff face next to the castle. Behind the platform were four large metal roller doors, one of which was up. She could see the thin metal chains hanging from the top of the open door and the bright light illuminating a large space behind it. Several wagons were parked up against the platform as ponies went to-and-fro from them, unloading boxes and stacking them onto pallets.
A large metal awning was set into the cliff face over the platform, protected the workers from the rain.
None of the ponies on the platform gave the approaching party much attention as they carried on unloading the wagons.
Twilight pointed to the edge of the platform. “The night operations manager’s office.”
Applejack looked at where she was pointing. The office was a small wooden building had one large, glass window that looked out over the platform itself. ‘Huh, glorified shed might be a better description there Twi.’
As they got near, several of the ponies on the platform threw them glances, but they all kept on working without stopping.
As Applejack watched, a unicorn mare came out of the open roller door, stopped in front of a small pallet with several open boxes of fruit on it and levitated it up. Turning, she headed back inside with it.
Twilight marched up the wooden steps onto the platform and towards the office. Everypony, once under the awning, took the time to shake themselves off.
Applejack smiled as Rarity started grumbling about the lack of towels and the state of her coat... and her mane... and her tail...
With a knock, Twilight walked inside the office leaving the door open.
Looking in, Applejack could see that apart from a filing cabinet in the corner, the only other item of furniture was a wooden desk pushed against the wall with the window. The wall opposite the window was covered in multicoloured clipboards and notices.
The yellow unicorn stallion, sitting at the desk and hunched over some paperwork she presumed that was the ‘Night Operations Manager’. He hadn’t looked up or said anything when Twilight had entered.
She stepped forward. “We have an urgent delivery.”
Still looking down, the stallion silently lifted a hoof and pointed a hoof at a sign on the wall.
Twilight turned her head.
‘No Deliveries Accepted Without Being Booked In First’.
Grinding her teeth, she turned back to the stallion and tried again. “This is important.”
He didn’t look up. “I’m sure it is.”
Twilight rolled her shoulders before tapping her hoof on one of his shoulders.
He looked up at her. “Look…”
The stallion went white. “P-prince..ss?” He stared at her wingless sides before instinct kicked in. Jumping up, he performed a clumsy, rushed bow.
“Excuse me… Your highness, I didn’t know. I wasn’t expecting... no pony had heard from you...”
Twilight waved away his words. “I have an important delivery. A load of Wheat Thorn. If you can take us to where it needs to go, that would be ever-so nice. You can officially book it in when it’s where it needs to be.”
He gave her a puzzled look. “Err, okay then your Highness. Please follow me.”
Standing up he led her out of the office and towards a smaller door set next to the large roller doors. Twilight signaled the rest to follow her.
The manager led them into a small room filled with cushions, tables, and a large tea urn. The tables themselves were covered with all kinds of mugs and various lunch boxes.
The stallion went through one of the doors on the other side of the room and into the corridor beyond.
Applejack walked up next to Twilight. “Where are all the guards sugar? It seems awfully easy to just walk in here.”
“All the ponies outside have extensive guard training Applejack. Not to mention we have passed through multiple magic wards to get this far. Don't forget that these corridors are set into the mountain itself, to get into the castle from them you’ve got to pass through multiple choke points… and other things Shining was curiously vague about.”
Applejack nodded and followed the stallion into the lifeless corridor beyond. Apart from an industrial green stripe on the walls and the odd black scuff mark, the corridor was a uniform off-white colour, giving the hallway a lifeless feel. The lighting was also too harsh, which only added to the lifelessness in her opinion.
Walking casually the stallion led them past a junction.
Twilight stopped and pointed up the other corridor. “The castle itself is in that direction. You're taking us towards ‘long term storage’.”
He looked over his shoulder at her and gave her another puzzled look. “Yes, I know.”
Twilight was becoming visibly agitated at the lack of urgency being displayed by the stallion.
Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder. “Easy sugar. I’m sure he knows where he’s going.”
The stallion lead them up to a door with two guards stood outside. Opening it, he gestured for them to follow before walking inside.
The guards followed the group with their eyes.
Once inside, Applejack looked around the large storeroom that was taken up with barrels.
The manager turned to look at the Princess and pointed to a little table in the corner with a clipboard on it. “You can leave it there Princess. Somepony will be along to officially book it in later.”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
“If you could just leave it…”
Twilight shook her head as she stamped a hoof. “Yes, I heard you! I can’t believe… Look this is critically important material. This is the antidote to cure the Princesses! It needs to go the proper ponies to start work on it immediately! Not just be put into some random storage room, to be retrieved whenever somepony happens to remember!”
Taking her saddlebags off, she waved them in front of him. “I’m too late for enough ponies as it is. I am not going to endanger even more ponies by wasting time!”
He took a step backwards. “But this is where we are storing all the Wheat Thorn princess.” He gestured at the barrels. “All full of Wheat Thorn.”
Twilight froze. “W-what?”
The stallion turned to look at the barrels. “All full of Wheat Thorn. Commander Whirlwind’s scouts finally found a huge field of it a little over two weeks ago. They've been finding more ever since. Turns out it’s not rare, just that it only grows in high altitude, in hard-to-reach areas.”
He smiled. “You should have seen it, Princess, it was an incredible sight. The air force ferrying Wheat Thorn in from the mountains to the drop off zones, only to set right back off again to go get more. The guard, using earth ponies and unicorns to keep the airspace clear, hauling it off to staging areas for processing and distribution by guard pegasi.”
He shook his head. “Unfortunately, Princess Luna’s notes only listed the name of the antidote and not the method needed to make it. So all over Canterlot, academics, scholars and generally very smart ponies worked around the clock to create a working antidote. Volunteers, mainly guards that were poisoned at the gala, stepped forward to try the untested antidote they developed.” He stood up a little bit taller. “Everypony was cured a little over a week ago princess. And not a single pony was lost.”
Twilight stared at him as Pinkie stepped forward to put a hoof around her. “H-how…?”
He turned to look at her, a frown on his face. “Princess! You of all ponies should know that Princess Celestia does try to pick competent ponies for her staff. Ponies that can actually get horseap… err I mean stuff done.”
Rarity pointed a hoof at him. “But the sunsets… the wobbling sun.
“The antidote was a little stronger than planned, so it muted the magic of everypony who took it, the Princesses included. But hey... the antidote worked. Personally, I’d take reduced magic for a little while over dying any day of the week.” He shrugged. “So what if both Princesses are currently needed to raise and lower the sun. So what if it tends to wobble a bit when they do it. It’s a small price to pay not to lose anypony.” He perked up, looking off into the distance. “You know, there’s talk of a stained glass window to commemorate all the effort everypony put in. I even played a small part myself in managing one of the drop-off zones.”
Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy all stepped towards Twilight as her saddlebags slipped from her grip.
The Night Operations Manager looked back at her. “Everypony will also be so relieved to see you back as well your Highness. If I might give you a little heads up here, a lot of ponies are going to be quite upset at you come the morning. I was present at some of the briefings after it became clear you were missing. Nopony knew where you’d gone! You're not supposed to head off without guards in that kind of situation… Princess. To put it bluntly your highness, there were a lot of ponies freaking out over it. If you’d been lost, along with the other element bearers, it would have been nothing short of a catastrophe for Equestria. Everypony expected you to head back to safety when it became clear that things weren’t going as planned. Everypony thought you’d head back...”
His voice became hesitant as he finally registered the scene in front of him. “… Back to a secure… location.” He stood there uncertain of where to look. “You’re far too valuable to... go risking... yourself… like...”
He tailed off into silence as Twilight’s friends all stood around her, hugging her tight.
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I can't tell if this was a Sunbeam troll, or if this was just luck
Or if the Writer got cheeky-Breeki on us
Either way, great chapter
This is not going to go down well with Sunbeam. The hospital's news or the fact Greywing died for nothing.
taking us
This was a really good twist. You got all the stress for your characters without having to brutally slaughter a bunch of background ponies. Even better, now they can all ask "what was it all for?" All their pain and suffering was for nothing, or was it? The whole mess was a tragic disaster, certainly, but they learned a lot about themselves and each other. Sunbeam is a mess, but she has friends that will stick with her, so she has a better chance at recovery than before. Also, the cult has been partially exposed, so now they can make a more organized effort to properly deal with it.
I have a feeling that Sunbeam's pizza party is going to be a downer though. Poor girl.
I know that the clan's ponies can't be everywhere, but I'm not trusting this pony until I hear from the princesses themselves. Some of the things the night manager said just sounded... weird.
And I'm still waiting for Sunbeam to keel over from exhaustion. I'm actually disappointed that she's apparently able to do all this while pretty much avoiding sleep just so she can dodge Luna.
Yeah Twilight. You doing everything you can to save lifes...was wrong. Like a punch in the gut.
Holy... wow... that's... that's cruel...
whoa
Fishy
6336205 I want to say that it was mostly bad luck. 1.) There was no way for Luna to contact the Mane 6 since their bond to the Elements of Harmony somehow prevents that. 2.) The Night Guard, which were supposed to escort them and could have been contact by Luna via dreams, were not there because that Broomhandle guy threw away the written order for them to do so a few chapters ago, and 3.) while Greywing and Sunbeam could have been contacted by Luna via dreams, both of them had taken a dose of the Owl's Slumber potion that helps them sleep, but blocks dreams. No dreams, no Luna.
Well, now I'm back to square one. I had thought that the whole reason Luna never found them (or Sunbeam) was because she was poisoned and dying, but if she was fine the whole time then I now have no idea why she never did. You'd think that would be a fairly important thing on their "to do" list.
Apparently not.
And that's assuming that everyone is, in fact, cured. I'm gonna be more than a little annoyed if it comes out that pretty much the entire story up to this point has been effectively wasted time.
6336984
Just for the record, title is in fact referring to all the ordinary ponies, ponies that worked their flanks off to save everyone poisoned at the gala.
So while the title is not intrinsically mocking Twilight and co, I will admit that the context is.
6337099 Ah, my mistake.
This was a great chapter! Please keep it up!
So... I'm going to have to agree that this chapter confuses me. Actually I'd say it outright disappoints me.
I know that the next chapter will explain some things I guess, but I really don't see how the story can "recover"* from this.
I mean, as someone said below, this kind of makes the entire journey pointless, of course other than hurting basically everyone physically and emotionally, killing Greywing, and basically murdering a whole lot of ponies for little to no reason.
Yeah, I mean I guess it's... well... no, not even the fact they took out the cultists really makes up for it. Oh, and Sunbeam's attempts at a new life (what this story was supposed to be "about") basically got worse rather than better because of this. At this point I don't see any benefit to anything that has happened.
When I saw the "Dark" tag on this story, I thought the reason was going to be because of dark themes, but now it looks like it was more about the murder and gore (which is a tag this story is missing), and even more than that because the story is a tragedy (another tag that is conspicuously missing).
Again, I have hope, but I don't see how this story can "recover" from being anything but a tragedy: Everyone is either scarred or dead, and nothing of consequence or development actually happened; that is to say, what we have been watching has no pay off, at least as far as the plots we were supposed to be following go.
The only thing I actually feel engaged with anymore is waiting for someone to finally figure out that it's all that one officer's fault (something that, due to the tone thus far, I have a sinking suspicion is going to be a lack-luster event, if it even happens).
My biggest issue is that the only reason I have these other issues is because I didn't want to read a tragedy, and if this story had been properly marked, I wouldn't have.
I hope I'm proven wrong, but if this is seriously how this is going to go down, could the tags get updated so I can just give up now and save myself the trouble? (and the upset comments.)
As tragedy's go I think this one is actually pretty compelling, but then again I don't like tragedies, and try to avoid them, so I'm not to good of an authority.
Let's all keep in mind that while they didn't have any affect on whether anyone got cured, they did manage to destroy an evil, magic stealing, brain washing cult. As consolation prizes go, that's not bad.
My theory is that he's lying, as it's really the only way a whole chunk of this makes sense. It would also make sense if there was an infiltrator trying to stop them from being healed.
6338065 but when re-phrased as "on their way to pick flowers they happened to come across a bunch of brain-washed people and a person with serious mental issues, and killed them all" it sounds less appetizing.
lol
6338083 Oh! hope partially restored!
We'll see, I don't see how they could expect to hold off Twilight from wanting to see her teacher though...
and it wouldn't explain the storehouse full of Wheat Thorn...
hope again waning...
Oh... Oh god. Twilight a Gina talk about her dead guard... And all the ponies she ordered killed... For apparently no reason.... This is going to devastate her.
As far as "Break the Cutie" fics, this was a LOT better than the one I use as my 'oh god, why?!' baseline, so that's good. Everything everyone has done has been logical, if potentially flawed. It should be interesting to see how the fallout develops, especially with the Snakes still in Ponyville... assuming they survived the Everfree.
6338118
Who says that they're actually full of Wheat Thorn? As far as I recall, none of them actually looked in the barrels
6336270
I never expected that, even with Pinkie's foreshadowing Pinkie-Sense. Wow, Twilight's gonna have one of those Lesson Zero breakdowns, isn't she? Well, she would if not for the immediate application of ponyhugs.
Oh dear, many tears... so many tears coming soon; regret, anger, sorrow, and relief... but mostly for relief.
I suppose if it make the girls feel any better, they had no idea what was going on in Canterlot. They could only play the cards they were dealt.
And let us not forget about Icefang, those other ponies, and the still-viable plan of setting her off to wipe out an entire city. (I still can't comprehend the utter madness of wanting to eliminate the princesses with it too, I mean, why not just fling open the gates of Tartarus too while you're at it?)
6337078
If I may quote Shadowkeeper's response to Thunder Cloud about Luna not being able to find them as I feel he covers it quite well.
As for being wasted time: hopefully not. The final story arc is just beginning and there are 'a few things' that have that we haven't heard the last of.
Of course, I shall have to await your final judgement on that. My opinion, as always, is biased.
Presuming that this isn't some kind of trick...
Everything's coming full-circle now!
6340123
Who knows.
Maybe next the general populous of Ponyville will band together to overcome something WITHOUT needing any (or all) of the Mane Six?
Wow... That's fucked up.
6337917
And it's still about that. Did you miss the entire conversation with Rarity about her asking what's 'normal' for ponies? Or the plans for the 'pizza party'? Just because there's a set back doesn't mean the tone's changed entirely. This is a major hiccup, but that's what all good struggles have.
The story isn't over yet, so you don't know there's no payoff. Do you remember the conversation Sunbeam and Granny Smith had a long time ago? The Element Bearers are the protectors of Equestria, but they were too soft. This is a wake up call that the rest of the world isn't Equestria. There is a very, very important lesson here, especially for Twilight. Being a leader means sometimes you have to make tough calls, and sometimes those losses from a decision can be pointless.
Finally, just because a story has tragic moments doesn't mean it's a tragedy. Besides, if you go by the literary definition, a tragedy is a story in which the protagonist(s) dies.
6339584
I think it's mostly just that night manager guy's reaction that's making me unhappy. Who the hell talks to their princess like that, no matter how high ranking you are? I'll be k with how the story's gone as long as he gets yelled at or fired or something.
As for the explanation on Luna, I thought Sunbeam's tea had worn off already, and had been worn off for quite some time? I thought that was the whole reason she was avoiding sleep as much as possible, because her nightmares weren't being suppressed anymore.
And that's only one way Luna (or any other pony for that matter) could have contacted them. Unless divination magic doesn't exist, why did no one try to find them that way? Even a simple tracking spell could have given a group of guards a direction to find them, and something more powerful like a true scrying spell could have found them outright.
Or if that wouldn't have worked, why not a sending spell, or some other form of messaging? Surely between two alicorns that measure their lifespans in millenia and the entire staff of the most prestigious magic school in the country they would have more options than "find them with dreamwalking or else we're outta luck".
6342232 First, them having a conversation to remind us that a plot point exists doesn't mean that the indicated story thread is actually going anywhere. I mean, have we seen her develop much? Really? She started out as a murderer fresh into Equestria wanting to turn over a new leaf, torn up about how she inadvertently killed a loved one, and that's exactly what she is now, again. The only thing that's really changed is now the girls know her past.
Second, I know. That's why my comment was basically just whining about how I don't see how there could be a meaningful ending (that gave over-arching plot-relevance to what we've been following). It was not me using my precognition to declare that there wasn't going to be one. I still have hope, or else I would have just given up rather than post about it. I hope to be proven wrong... I just kind of don't expect to be at this point...
Finally, you're thinking of Shakespearean tragedy. Tragedy is a broad concept that doesn't require protagonist death (as you can see).
6342513 Sunbeam has been struggling with having to kill again since she was asked to do it. It's been a prevalent theme in the past several chapters, not just one conversation. That was just an example. Just look at how her mood has shifted toward depression ever since she did it.
Also, that's the regular definition. The "Shakespeare" definition is the literary definition. A story isn't a tragedy, even a modern one, unless the protagonist dies. A story with a lot of tragic moments only needs the 'sad' tag. Even then, just because a story has a few examples of something doesn't mean it should fall into that category. Should James Bond be considered sci-fi because he has a watch with a laser in it? Should Terminator 2 be considered a comedy because they crack a few jokes? Yes, Greywing's death was tragic, but it was still just one instance.
6340158 Maybe they already do but we don't see it on the show.
I have to say after all the ups and downs of the story so far this this right here is by far the biggest punch in the gut.
I love it!
ack. Reached the end again.
Well, at least they've been bloodied a bit and will turn out a bit harder. Now for the fun stuff.
Well thank googly goodness. I can't help but think someone's pulling the wool over their eyes though. I don't think I'll be able to relax until they find the princesses safe and sound. It's too quiet...
Okay that was just evil... so poor Greywing really just died for nothing huh...
6474905
Oh yeah.
My attempts at rhyming are best left forgotten, although you may be able to hazard a guess to their 'quality' from the comments.
I stand in awe of his talents.
6480173
Such rings are enchanted to not only prevent the wearer from casting magic, but also to prevent them from taking them off. As they the magical equivalent of 'handcuffs' they wouldn't be much use if the person you put them on could just take them off when they wanted.
As the ring is in physical contact with the horn of the unicorn, the magic can discern if the hoof attempting to remove it is from the same pony wearing it and 'lock itself down' in that case. (There are other safeguards as well to prevent the wearer from simply knocking it off with a stick, or maybe even doing a pony 'handstand' in the hope it'll fall off.)
6481470
I totally saw the end of this chapter coming. The Princesses wouldn't leave finding the antidote to a single untrained group of ponies; that's silly.
And while I like to see my comments replied to, you might want to keep in mind that the author of a comment only gets notified of a reply if the one replying did so to the same chapter. I.E. since your reply is a comment on this chapter instead of the one I actually commented on, I didn't get a reply notification.
Also, while I've been bitching a lot about various aspects of this story, it is one of the best stories I've read here. I just don't read grimdark a lot so I complain a lot when things get overly grimdark.
Incidentally, this story could use a 'tragedy' tag, and it definitely needs a 'gore' tag. You talk about frozen bits of bone, blood and organs exploding from killed ponies. You can't really get much gorier than that.
6488094
I do try to make sure that the responses ponies have to situations are (in context to what they know) logical. I am sure people can point out times where I didn't.
Opps, my bad. Duly noted for future reference.
One of the main reason I chose her skill to be ice based was to try and keep down the gore factor. When it comes to things 'shattering' I mention the colour, but not what is actually shattering. I avoid going into detail, with the goriest stuff happening 'off screen' as it were. I try to let the readers imagination fill in the blanks. It's often sooo much more effective.
It's a fine line between the two, I freely admit to that, and the issue is quite open to debate.
Please do not think I am just dismissing your concerns out of hand though. Consider it that I am taking them on board and awaiting further developments before acting. I do thank you for your comments.
I thank you for giving me a chance in an area you don't normally read.
This is still my first ever story, so while I have improved an awful lot from when I started,I still have a lot to learn (In short, I will still be making mistakes). So all comments that help me improve are welcome.
Glowing, positive comments that massage the ego are also very welcome as well.
6488222
Just to be clear, I wasn't calling anything that happened in the story silly. Twilight thought the onus of finding the wheat thorn was entirely on her, though, and it would have been silly indeed had that actually been the case.
There's more than enough gore 'on screen' to qualify for a gore tag imo, especially given the nature of some of it. Splitting a pony in two and watching the front half run a ways before collapsing is honestly one of the goriest/most disturbing things I've read in pony fanfic. That's on par with the goriest of FoE gore.
Did you mean dead?
6627190
Everypony thought you’d head back.
Thank you, Now added that for clarification.
So, basically, greywing died for nothing. Hoo boy.
Can't wait for sunny to find out.
6971691 Don't forget Rainbow; she killed a pony.
Huh, that's a plot element i don't see being used too often. Important ponies' effort all for nothing. All thy did was suffer and take out a cult that wouldn't really have caused any issues.