The Long Road Home

by Wheller

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Surprise was friendly enough on the exterior, however, as Twilight and Vinyl Scratch walked through Whitetail Wood, this didn’t feel like a walk though, this felt like a forced march. Twilight and Vinyl were reminded of the Hoofson Bay, when Gilda had marched them some fifty odd kilometres; Vinyl had carried an unconscious Rainbow Dash on her back without complaint.

This felt like that.

Twilight looked back at Surprise; the Pegasus was humming to herself as she flapped along behind them, her blood red eyes darting every which way.

“Surprise?” Twilight asked of her. The Pegasus turned and looked at Twilight with a bright, yet disconcerting, smile.

“Yessss?” she asked.

“Well, I was just wondering... if we’re going to be... friends, now and all, if we could know a little more about you?” Twilight asked, hesitantly.

“Of course! Wow, it’s been a super long time since anypony wanted to know about me! Hmm... Now where to start? We’ve got a good walk ahead of us to EPMB, and their so much to go over...” Surprise began, her voice trailing off slightly.

“You know about EPMB?” Twilight asked in surprise, though she felt silly for asking that afterwards, Surprise worked for Overdrive.

“Uh duh!” Surprise cried out. “When I was a filly, all anypony ever talked about on the wireless was EPMB! EPMB did this, and EPMB did that... BORING!”

“When you were a filly?” Vinyl Scratch asked, she and Twilight looked at each other, EPMB had to have been abandoned for hundreds of years.

“Surprise... how old are you?” Twilight asked.

“Hmm...” Surprise said, tapping her muzzle in thought. “I am one thousand, one hundred and eighty seven years old! By the Gaian calendar, not the stupid one you use today!”

Twilight and Vinyl’s mouths dropped open.

“Why are you surprised?” Surprise asked. “Such rewards are possible when you serve the Paragon! I’ve dedicated my life to him! And as a reward, he gave me the ability to serve him forever!”

Surprise smiled brightly at the two mares, causing them to recoil slightly in uneasiness, Surprise was too busy thinking about Overdrive to notice.

“He could have given you gifts too if you hadn’t screwed up so bad!” Surprise said. “OH! And just so you know, we might be friends now, but if you even so much as think of betraying the paragon, I’ll cut open your stomachs and hang you from EPMB’s ceiling by your intestines! Then I’ll take your heads and stick them on pikes as a warning to everypony in Equestria!”

Surprise leaned in close to them. “Don’t worry though, if it comes to that, I’ll make sure you’re making silly faces!” she whispered.

Now Twilight and Vinyl were deeply afraid. Surprise was insane, and she was devoted. One wrong move and she’d kill them both in a heartbeat.

“I was so happy when the Paragon contacted me after all these years! Those stupid cultists sealed him away from me! I was so sad when they did! I spent most of my life stalking the Ulhan family making sure nothing happened to my master... then Montana gave me the slip! He put in his notes that he was going to Fillydelphia, I figured out he was going there and I beat him there. I was so disappointed when he never showed up! Imagine my surprise when I learned that he’d met his end in Ponyville! Releasing my master on the world! Nopony has surprised Surprise in a very long time!” Surprise said.

Twilight didn’t want to listen to Surprise anymore, the Pegasus frightened her more than Overdrive or the Siblings Nightmare ever had, likewise, she didn’t want to miss anything, in case Surprise gave away something important, some little bit of knowledge that they would need in the future.

Surprise continued to ramble, continuing to praise Overdrive until they reached the caves. They went down and arrived at the door. Twilight pushed the button to open it up and covered her ears instinctively.

Surprise ushered them into the mainframe room and sat them down in front of the terminal. Twilight, after taking a few moments to get familiar with the keyboard, used her magic to log into Doctor Emerald Sparkle’s account.

They were instantly routed to the history files, Twilight assumed that this was the work of Doppler, the program that had been described to them in the last data reel.

A history of the Kingdom of Equestria: condensed.

Prepared by Doctor Emerald Sparkle for any who would read it.

Nearly 4000 years ago, Equestria was founded by the beloved Queen Gaia, and her mate King Aether. Equestria was governed by Gaia’s divine wisdom... for a time. Faith in their Queen could only give equestrians so much, and as such, society transitioned away from theology and towards the pursuit of science and knowledge, not only with the fair Queen’s allowance, but her encouragement. Research in to all sorts of subjects, chemistry, geology, medicine. Anything that you could think of, someone was working on it, and if somepony wasn’t, then you’d do it yourself.

Equestrians were peaceful by nature, but that did not stop us from creating weapons, sword, shield, gunpowder, nitro-glycerine, the atomic bomb. Nothing would stop equestrians in their thirst for knowledge.

Except them, the Children of Gaia were not thrilled with the way that their mother let things happen. Her four children, Sun, Moon, Order, Chaos, could not sit idly by and allow things to happen as their mother did. Each of them looked out into Equestria and saw something different.

Order’s vision for Equestria was not one of science and progress, rather one of slavery to the royal family; he would rule Equestria with an iron hoof, exerting his will upon the entire populace.

Chaos looked out into the world beyond Equestria, and he wanted it for himself, he would wish to send Equestria’s armies to conquer the gryphons of the north and the Cossacks in the east. Destroying the weak and insuring that the strong would survive.

Moon, perhaps, had the ponies of Equestria’s best interests at heart, she wished for progress to continue, albeit in a more peaceful line. She wished for Equestria to be a republic, where anypony had a voice, and not just the unicorn aristocracy.

It would be Sun, however who made the move. She wished for Equestria to forget it’s hard won, and dangerous, knowledge and return to a simpler time, where the ponies of Equestria would focus on magic instead of science. Late one evening, Sun struck her mother down, destroying her with ancient magicks too terrible to speak of. Sun’s actions enraged her father King Aether, turning him into a terrible creature, the Draconequus, Discord.

Discord; however proved to be more than a match for Sun, she should not defeat him alone. She turned to her siblings, and asked for their aid.

They refused, appalled at her for what they did to their mother, and refused to speak to her ever again. Even her younger sister, Moon, whom she was the closest.

Moon’s refusal hit Sun hard, and she resorted again to the terrible magicks, using them to modify her sister’s memory, forcing her to take her side.

That day, Sun and Moon ceased to exist. They took up new names. Celestia, and Luna, and united against Discord, using their combined power to seal Discord inside a stone prison.

Celestia and Luna then turned their attention to their brothers. Order and Chaos needed to be removed in order to install Celestia’s vision of a new Equestria. Ironically, they did not need to lift a hoof against them. Order and Chaos had long been enemies; cults had sprung around both of them. The Cult of Chaos would strike first, luring Order into a trap and sealing him away inside one of their leaders, and soon afterwards, Chaos himself disappeared without a trace.

Without the leadership of the god-like ponies in which they followed, the cults eventually fizzled out, where history is sure to forget of them entirely.

Twilight and Vinyl came to the end, it felt like there should have been more, but no, that was it.

“Surprise? Do you remember when this all happened?” Twilight asked.

“Uh yeah! I was there! Hello!” Surprise said. “It was around the time when the paragon made me his immortal servant! I was so happy when he did! It was amazing! Dumb old Celestia ordered everypony to destroy all their technology. Obviously, Doctor Sparkle didn’t listen! That naughty mare! How dare she disobey an order? Even if it was made by dumb old Celestia! She was in charge!”

“Are you saying that if Princess Celestia ordered you to do something... you’d do it?” Twilight asked hopefully, an idea popping into her head.

“Uh NO! My master is free from his prison! He’s the highest authority in Equestria, not her! Even if nopony knows it!” Surprise said.

Twilight frowned, that wasn’t quite the answer that she had been hoping for.

“Hey! Turn that frown upside down!” Surprise said grinning widely, which made the mare’s skin crawl. “We got data tape reels to listen to!”

Comments

[DreadedCandiru2]

I can hear the pony Surprise inspired saying "And THAT'S how Equestria was made"; I don't much like the way that makes me feel, though.

[Apocalypse Pony]

Never heard of holding someone hostage via your own personality

[Wheller]

7118

If you thought Pinkie Pie was crazy... Surprise puts her to shame. She's insane. A thousand years without the guidance of her master really did a number on her mind.

[KaijinZero]

...yep. im gonna have a huge headache from suprise.

[Absentia616]

i really want to know if the new lunar republic movement existed when you wrote this.