Zander is a thief who gets killed in his homeland and wakes up from death in a place called Lordran. Soon, in his adventures in Lordran, he meets six beings who unlike any creature he has seen. They seem friendly enough but his suspicions lead him to believe otherwise. Will he accept them on his journey? Or will he let them die in this accursed land?
Another Dark Souls Crossover
Page generated in 0.127 seconds
Total duration
673 users online
904,972 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Interesting, I personally don't like Dark Souls but you have my attention.
2557804 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_malwobOSZ01rca02so1_250.gif
2557917 Wat
2557926 Dark Souls is one of the most incredible games I've ever played.
2557937 I've never played it because I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm good at long range, but I can't tell which class is long rage focused..... So Halp!
2557946 ??? How can you be good at long range if you've never played it?
"his suspicions lea him"
Typo in the description? Oh dear...
2559001 fixed it! Thanks for that btw
2559677
lol no problem dude. Watch out for that in the future, typos that early can turn away a lot of readers.
2557962 This is from experience from other games that's in the same genre as Dark Souls.
2560806 A lot of other rpg games aren't like Dark Souls. When I first played it my brother even told me "Don't Skyrim it." You can't just run into a battle. And btw the long range focused classes are Ranger and Sorcerer.
2561011 2 things: 1). figured that out on the first section and 2). thanks.
Good so far, the only thing that really bothered me this chapter though is the lack of paragraph's besides when dialogue is involved. It makes it hard to read, I would suggest going back through the story and separating some of it so that it easier to follow along. Good luck on future chapters
I have seen a play through of the game dark souls, but I did not retain much of the lore. Pardon if I sound a bit imposing, but I saw that you are having trouble with plot, and i would like to help you with my talent for coming up with ideas. If you want more of my help, particularly for editing and more story ideas and advice, you can reply or send a private message. The following are some suggestions I thought up fast, so pardon if they are not what you are looking for.
You could use pinkie sense to find traps. You could use Rarity to find valuables. You could use Fluttershy to stun dragons. These are a few suggestions to make it easier injecting the characters into the action.
I suggest thinking about how you want the plot to evolve from find the six damsels to giving them a purpose for being there. Perhaps they need to find the elements of harmony, and in order to do that they need to prove themselves to various covenants.
To anyone who is really reading this story and is getting into it, if I actually do upload any more chapters it will not be for quite a while. Just informing all who are reading this and are waiting for a new chapter, sorry but you're gonna be on quite the wait. In the mean time, you can check out my other story if you wish, hope you enjoy it if you do, but yeah I'm sorry for the delay or cancellation of this story.
I have a little edit for you; you have, "I crushes through a wall at the foot of the staircase." I think you meant "It crashes through a wall at the foot of the staircase."
*sigh* Goodbye Chosen Undead, you had such potential. But in order to channel said potential, ideas must form and motivation must be present, both of which were absent for far too long for a decent story to be written. While this cancellation does not quite bring a tear to my eye, it is the first story that I have cancelled. Maybe one day I will continue this story, or even rewrite it as a whole, but it seems unlikely as of now. To all the readers: I apologize for ending this tale before its final chapter but it had to be done. The Chosen Undead is hereby cancelled. Sorry guys.