Heroism?
My Dear Princess Celestia,
As you have asked, I have written a research paper based upon the fundamental sciences of heroism. Through a series of extensive field tests, I have derived the emotions, motivations, ideas, and thought processes of heroes of different degrees thrust into different situations.
I have set up and tested three categories of heroism: a humble hero with a secret identity, a proud hero with a secret identity, and a proud hero without a secret identity. In the end I selected Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash, respectively. Also, I decided to try my hoof at being a hero as well; having first-hoof experience should make for better general results. Each of the subjects, aside from myself, had no knowledge of the experiment...
~~~
“So, Rainbow, how would you describe your current emotional state?” I had already gotten notes from the other two, now I just needed Rainbow Dash to answer a few simple questions. Although she seemed to get over the whole incident fairly quickly, I was certain Rainbow still harbored some degree of bitterness or annoyance.
“Fine,” was all I got from her. From the one word response it wasn’t difficult to derive that my previous hypothesis was correct. I exhaled calmly and began to plan out a method to procure the information needed.
“Look, Rainbow, this is kinda important. Could you help me out here?” She just turned away. “Come on, please?” No response. “For me?” I spoke in the sweetest tone I could muster.
“Ah, alright, but just because it’s you,” she looked back at me with a wide smile on her face; I never thought much of it. “What do you need from me, Egghead?”
“Oh yay! Thank you!” I wrapped her in a hug. “I thought it was going to be much more of a challenge to secure your cooperation. Thank you.”
She scoffed, “Yeah, whatever. You can go ahead with your questions now.”
“Oh, right,” I cleared my throat. “How would you describe your current emotional state?”
“Umm, well, let’s see,” she paused a moment in thought. “Annoyed, shocked, let down... infatuated.” She mumbled the last word.
“Infuriated?”
She looked a little flustered, blushing slightly, “Uh, yeah, sure.” I made a little note of her reaction, but again I thought very little of it.
“What was your general emotional state when you were performing your heroic deeds?”
“Oh yeah, those felt awesome. I felt adrenaline, speed, pride, power. Just good in general, I love being noticed by everypony... especially you.” Once again she trailed off and I was unable to make out the last couple words she had said.
“What was that?” I asked, listening more intently.
“Ahh forget it,” she simply waved it away with her hoof. “Next question.”
“Fine. But please, I do insist, please stop mumbling and speak clearly. Enunciate.” Rainbow just rolled her eyes. “Moving on: how did it feel when the Mysterious Mare Do Well stole your spotlight?” I looked up from my clipboard and was greeted by an angry glare.
If looks could kill...
“Alright, I’m pretty sure I can fill that one in for you; let’s keep going.” When I finished writing I saw her relax again in the chair. “How did you feel when you became obsolete as a hero?”
She threw her hooves in the air with a loud groan. “C’mon Twilight, do I really have to answer these? How many are there anyways?”
“Only two more after this one. Then we can go grab some lunch together, how’s that sound?” I could certainly go for some food.
Rainbow perked up at the idea, but again, I thought nothing of it. “Alright, how did being obsolete feel... Not fun, I can say that much. Like a cheap shot to the chest, kinda knocks the wind out of you.” She was beginning to look dejected, sighing heavily to punctuate her sentence.
“Oh,” I quickly scribbled down some notes. “Okay, the rest are just ‘yes‘ or ‘no‘. Overall, was this a positive experience?”
“No, not even, just- no.” She slowly shook her head.
“And would you be a hero again if you had the choice?”
“In a heartbeat. Now it’s my turn to ask you a question: Sugarcube Corner or the cafe?”
~~~
In the end, Fluttershy and Applejack responded very positively towards the post-experiment questionnaire. Rainbow Dash, however, did not enjoy it. I was able to get a few more details off of her during our lunch together. It seems that although she hated the idea of being outdone by a masked vigilante, she genuinely loved being a hero. This makes for an interesting contrast to the other two subjects‘ desire to merely just help others, while they personally received no pleasure or gratification. This may have a direct correlation to the possession of a secret identity. Yet, even still, it may just be Rainbow Dash’s personality that gives her gratification as a hero; her loyal nature has only been magnified by connection to her Element of Harmony.
In conclusion of the questioning I have derived this theory: Rainbow Dash may have inherent personality traits of a hero, while Applejack and Fluttershy may not have such qualities. More research is needed to verify these answers. In the end it may just be the stark contrast of roles that causes the variation in results between subjects.
The day after the questions came neural inspections to see if any activity in the brain can give an accurate prediction as to whether or not a pony is or has the qualities of a hero.
~~~
“Seriously, Twilight? Are all of these wires necessary? Don’t you just have like an x-ray thingy?” Rainbow Dash grumbled incessantly as I wired her up to the machine. None of the others, not even Rarity - whom I included to get a baseline of a pony who had not, to my knowledge, performed any great acts of heroism in the past few months - had squirmed or complained this much. But then again, none of them were Rainbow Dash.
“Just sit still, please,” the pleading tone in my voice apparently seemed to soothe her. “Thanks. And yes, there is a soft-tissue scanner, I just need to take a few readings with this instrument, then we can move on, okay?”
“Fine,” she spoke with the sulking tone of a little filly, which elicited a slight chuckle from me. The giggle brought a smile to Rainbow’s face. I was beginning to wonder if there was something more happening than she was letting on, but I quickly pushed the thought away and busied myself with wires.
“Alright, lay down on your back, I’m almost finished,” I grabbed the last couple wires as Rainbow shifted and laid down on the couch. I placed two of the instrument leads on her belly and she stifled a giggle. “Ticklish are we?” My studious concentration broke as I silently debated whether or not to unleash an assault of tickling hooves on my friend. I quickly decided against it, realizing that the humor would not be worth all of the work needed to reattach all of the leads.
“I’m not ticklish, I’m just-” she tried to sound convincing, but when I gave her a knowing glance she stopped talking. “Just hurry up, ‘kay?”
I attached the final lead and checked the monitor on the instrument. “Alright, that should do it. Now just relax, it won’t shock you unless you move around too much.”
“Shock? What?” her voice shook in trepidation as I flipped the switch.
I gave an impatient sigh, “Just sit still, you’ll be fine.” Her body locked up as she attempted to freeze every muscle in her body. “You might want to relax, this will take awhile.” Rainbow exhaled as she relaxed her body.
We sat in awkward silence for a moment before she spoke up, “So, how have you been?”
I found the question rather irrelevant to the current experiment, but I decided to entertain her desire to break the silence in order to keep her mind off the intimidating scientific instrument. “I’m fine, although I have been quite busy with this research paper for the Princess. She wishes to learn more about heroism; she thinks it may be of some use to the Royal Guard. In the end, this whole Mare Do Well incident was quite beneficial to my work.” I turned my gaze away from the small chart produced by the machine to see a blank expression on Rainbow Dash’s face. “I’m writing an essay for the Princess.”
She blinked rapidly to rid herself of her clueless appearance. “Yeah yeah, I gathered that much, but don’t you think all this,” she looked around the room, “is a bit much?”
“Being thorough never hurt anypony.” I stated as I turned back to the machine and resumed taking notes.
“Didn’t curiosity kill the cat? That’s a saying, right?”
I sighed and replied without looking up, “Well it’s a good thing we are ponies then, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, whatever, how much longer?” Her tone made it clear that she was becoming impatient.
“Please calm down and try to relax, Rainbow; you might skew the results and have to do this all over again. Just a couple minutes.”
“Okay. Umm, say, would you like to grab lunch again when we’re done here?” The question wasn’t big, but it did catch me a bit off guard. I closed my eyes to think for a second. There was really no reason not to, I had plans for a picnic with Fluttershy, but at this rate I was going to miss it anyways. Rainbow’s voice interrupted my thought, “I mean, if you’re busy then that’s fine. It’s just, well I didn’t have any plans and we’re both already here, so I was just wondering- ahh horsefeathers. Nevermind, forget it.” She sounded dejected, and when I looked at the monitor, I could see that her heart rate had increased ever so slightly. I would like to believe that this was when I first noticed the signs, but I’m quite certain I was still oblivious.
I opened my eyes and spoke, “I’d love to.” I thought nothing more of it than a lunch outing with a friend. “Alright, looks like we’re done with this machine, I’ll unhook you.” I stood up from the seat I had taken next to the large scientific instrument and walked over to the pegasus. I began removing each of the leads. The adhesive pulled a few strands from Dash’s coat, eliciting winces and twitches each time I pulled one of the wires off.
When I got to the leads on her belly, pulling them off almost made her laugh, so I decided, just for fun, to tickle her just a teensy bit. I justified it by telling myself a monotonous day of science needed a dose of hilarity. I gave Rainbow a few pokes to the abdomen and she began to laugh. After that I may have gotten a bit carried away.
I continued to assault her with relentless jabs, and her slight laughter turned to guffaws. She’d only been laughing a few seconds, yet her face was already a bright red. I would’ve guessed that she’d be begging me stop, but she just kept laughing without saying a word; I guess that’s just her stubborn competitiveness for you. She managed to squirm her way to an upright position, desperately trying to escape. In a last ditch effort she tried to jump away from me and ended up propelling herself over the back of the couch, landing on the floor with a thud.
I quickly ran around to the back of the couch to make sure she hadn’t been hurt. She was lying on the ground on her back, rubbing her head and giving me a mischievous grin. “You little... that was cheap and you know it.” She continued to rub the back of her skull as I laughed and extended a hoof.
“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” I said, trying to sound as innocent as possible.
I helped her up, “Well give me a warning next time, ‘kay?” Her face quickly returned to a red shade.
“Well that kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?” Dash shrugged. “C’mon, let’s get back to work.”
She sighed, “Fine, what’s next?”
“I’ll be scanning for more in-depth neurological activity and getting some readings of your brain chemistry.” As I explained, her face went blank again. “Another machine will take pictures of your brain so I can see what goes on inside your head.”
“I know what you meant.” Dash immediately became defensive, which only reassured the idea that she had no idea what was going on. Her eyes widened as if she’d just realized something. “Wait, so that thing can read my mind?” She began to blush more furiously than before.
“No, nothing like that. It just takes some measurements. Why?”
“Oh, no reason,” she said as her eyes took sudden interest in the floor.
~~~
Ponies generally expect a hero to always be heroic; this is unfair. Everypony experiences moments of weakness. As such, it is very possible for this to happen to any hero. They may experience moments when their virtues may simply falter and they stumble. Therefore, we must not judge a hero based upon a single mistake or mishap; we must look at the good they’ve done before we curse them for any unintentional evil.
If we were all judged based on mistakes, this world would never move forward.
~~~
“Alright then, I need you to lay back down on the couch, this time on your belly, and close your eyes.” I didn’t want to tell her, but I also needed a blood sample, and Rainbow Dash hates needles.
“Hold on a second, you’re not just going to tickle me again, are you?”
“I swear, no shenanigans,” I tried to reassure her, but she remained skeptical. I sighed, “I Pinkie promise.” She was still unconvinced. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” That seemed to satisfy her; she walked back to the couch.
I waved my hoof in front of her eyes to be certain she was unable to see then quickly set about setting up all of the tools necessary for the blood sample. "Alright, I need you to give me your hoof." At my request she extended out her right foreleg. I felt up and down it, searching for an adequate blood vessel, and all the while hoping Dash didn't catch on to what I was doing. I took a deep breath to prepare myself then... In one deft movement I secured the rubber band, applied the alcohol wipe, and inserted the needle.
"Hey!" She jumped a little, but I was able to keep her leg still enough for the needle to remain in place.
"That wasn't so bad now, was it? No need to be such a crybaby. Fluttershy wasn't even phased when I took her blood." I laughed as she stared daggers into me. "Come on, if I told you then there would be no way you would have let me. I know how much you hate needles."
"Fine," she relented, "you are the scientist after all."
I removed the needle and placed the test tube of blood in a cooler. I wrapped a bandage around where I took the sample, "Now we can move on to the scanner, this time no needles.” When I finished the bandage, I looked up to see a pouty expression on her face. I had to admit that she looked quite adorable. “Chin up, Dash,” I nudged her chin, bringing a smile to her face. “Tell you what, since you’ve been such a good patient, I’ll get you a lollipop from Sugarcube Corner after lunch.”
She smiled even wider, “I’m not a little filly, Twi.”
“Then stop acting like one,” I teased, but she merely laughed. Then I realized something, I loved that sound. That beautiful, melodious murmur that does proceed from a pegasus equally as beauti- wait, what? My thoughts were suddenly in a jumble as I tried to process what had just gone through my mind. I must be tired; maybe I’m going crazy; it’s probably that romance novel Rarity’s making me read getting to my head. All of these explanations made more sense than the most simple: I genuinely thought that way about Rainbow Dash. There’s no way that could be true, was there?
~~~
To further understand the basis of a hero, it may be necessary to consider those affected by said hero. Those influenced by the actions of a hero tend to have an affection of some sort towards this guardian. There are the obvious reasons behind this, ponies tend to become attached to those who care for them. However, there may be ulterior motives behind this fondness.
One reason may be that heroes tend to have desirable qualities that one would look for in a mate, this being chalked up to instinct. Another reason is that one may desire stature in society, thus, if they were to become associated with the hero then fame would be more easily attainable. However, the most likely reason is that traits of a hero tend to be traits that cause others to gravitate towards them. As such, those who are famous, popular, or well-liked may naturally have more potential as a hero.
~~~
“Hello? Hey Twilight? You in there?” Her gorgeous voice brought me back to the mortal plane of exis- dammit Twi, pull yourself together; there is work to be done and you can’t let that splendid pegasus distract you from- arrgh.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I nearly barked at her, accidentally expelling my frustration in the wrong direction.
“Woah, alright, cool your jets,” her expression was one of concern.
“Yeah, sorry, you’re right.” I felt horrid for being so uncivil towards such a pulchritudinous mare. I proceeded to mentally curse myself for my lack of focus and restraint. Where in Celestia’s name did these feelings come from anyways? Thinking back, Rainbow Dash has always been quite the specimen: strong, athletic, dedicated but also lax, fun loving and loyal. Oh, and don’t forget downright sexy- I slammed my hoof against the ground as if to scare the thought away.
“Umm, Twilight?” She spoke apprehensively, wary of the possibility that I would shout once more.
I took a deep breath; I clearly had upset Rainbow, and upsetting such a ravishing pony should be a crime. I exhaled cooly, trying not to freak out. “Yes, Rainbow Dash?” I spoke in an overly calm voice, clearly trying to keep myself from verbally exploding.
“You kinda crushed a beaker.” I looked down to see that I had indeed stomped upon a medium-sized beaker that I must have set down there for one reason or another, I’m unsure. I also noticed that a good amount of blood was escaping through a cluster of lacerations made by the glass shards.
“Oh,” was all I had to say, my voice still deathly calm. I stared at the blood as it began to accumulate into a small puddle at my hooves. I stood there staring blankly for a few moments, taking in how ridiculous I must look to the marvelous pegasus.
“Uh, do you need some bandages or something?” Rainbow was clearly uncomfortable with the situation.
“No need,” I quickly used a healing spell on my hoof and a restoration spell on the beaker. “Would you excuse me for a moment?” I didn’t wait for her reply. I simply teleported to the first place that I could fully picture in my head: under the shade of a willow tree in the middle of a field of lavender.
The first thing I did there was scream.
~~~
Perspective may very well shift, depending on what point of view something is observed from. One hero observing another may see that hero as normal. So what is it that sets a hero apart? Action. A hero sees a need then fills it. That much is simple. It is unclear what makes this pony act while others stand idly by.
It may be fear that keeps other away, or maybe even their apathy or self-absorbedness. A hero must not fall subject to these. Rather, they must not act upon these feelings if they occur, they must persevere and act selflessly. This is what sets them above the rest.
~~~
I resisted the urge to ferociously assault the tree and uproot the flowers. This was where I came whenever I needed to think; I didn’t want to ruin it. Instead, I furiously paced back and forth, trying to vent out all of my emotions. What the hell just happened? I began to take emotional inventory.
First and most certainly foremost, where did all those emotions come from? I began to think back, trying to pinpoint the origin of the attraction. I ended up throwing my hooves in the air and relenting; when I really think about it, it seems the emotions have always been there.
Alright, if that’s the case, why did these feelings not manifest themselves any earlier? There have been plenty of times that would have been far more convenient for all this to happen. I guess there’s always been a platonic air between us, but that really is an unsatisfactory reason. It could be the whole “I don’t want to ruin the friendship” scenario played out subconsciously in my head.
The final question was nagging at me, sitting in the back of my head: what now? Do I tell her? What if she doesn’t- come on Twilight, you’re not some little school-filly with a playground crush. I am an adult. But what if she doesn’t like me?
I sighed and plopped down beneath the tree. What am I going to do? Suddenly, a voice in the back of my head brought enlightenment: do what I’ve always done. I’ll observe, watch, learn all that I can about her, and make a plan. It was perfect. I was laughing giddily as I prepared myself to teleport back.
~~~
Heroes often tend to have two types of mentalities: A hot head or a level mind.
Rainbow Dash is a prime example of a hot-headed hero. She often acts before giving thought. She rushes into a situation and makes up solutions to problems as they arise.
The Mysterious Mare Do Well makes for a good example of a level mind. She evaluates a situation before any action. She calculates every possible outcome and ensures that the best possible result is achieved.
There is truly no way to place one type above the other as far as heroic effectiveness goes, seeing as each may be better suited for different situations.
~~~
With a flash, I returned to the library to see that Rainbow had decided to occupy her time by flipping through a Daring Do novel that she’d likely read at least three times before. She looked up at me, “Hey Twi. You finished with whatever you were doing?” Her tone was casual, as if this kind of behavior was normal for me.
“Uh, yeah. You ready for the last part?” With my full plan in place, I found it far easier to control my raging emotions.
“Sure, whatever. What do you need me to do now?” She stood up, apparently glad to be doing something again. How long was I gone? I was too afraid to ask.
“Just come over here and sit down.” I lead her to a chair with a contraption used for soft tissue scanning. “Oh, yeah, this part requires restraints, you okay with that?”
“Yeah, just so long as you don’t tickle me again.” she said as she playfully glared at me and climbed into the chair. Oh, I had almost forgot about that incident. I began to secure the straps around Rainbow’s legs and body. I had to lean in close to secure a few belts around her midsection, and I’m unsure if the warmth I felt on my face was radiating from her body or just the blood rushing to my cheeks.
“It’s all just a precaution to keep from bad test results, as moving slightly can significantly change the images.” I finished securing the last of the straps. “Just try to hold still, please.”
“Whatever you say, Egghead,” she laughed, and again, that laugh was beautiful.
I placed the scanner on her head, stepped behind a lead-lined curtain, and fired up the machine. Thanks to recent advances in soft tissue imaging technology, the scan took about two minutes to complete; a year ago we would have been here about two hours. I went back out and released Rainbow from the device. “Alright, that’s it. We’re done for today, you’re free to go,” I spoke as I walked back to the machine behind the curtain.
“Oh, okay,” by her tone it was easy to tell that she was hiding disappointment.
I was curious as to what the cause of this was, “What’s up?”
“It’s nothing, I just thought we were going to lunch together.” I froze, how the hay did I forget that? What should I do? I couldn’t tell that I’d forgotten, that would make it seem like I forgot, which I did. I could... I’ve no clue what I could do.
I looked to see that her face was glowing bright red, I felt awful. “Ha, I was just messing with you. Let me finish this one thing, then we can go.” I stepped back behind the curtain before she could see me blush. I set the machine to automatically render and print the scans. “Alright, let’s go, Sugarcube sound good?”
“Actually, I was kinda thinking we could go to that new place that just opened?” She was referring to the bistro that just opened in eastern Ponyville.
“You sure that isn’t a bit formal for your tastes? I mean, I'd love to go, but would you?”
“C’mon, just because I’m cool doesn’t mean I can’t be all fancy and stuff.”
I chuckled as I grabbed my saddlebag, “Let’s go.” The two of us walked out the door.
~~~
Normality, or rather consistency, is often maintained from pony to pony. What is meant by this is that one hundred “regular” ponies will have only slight variation, between their personalities, general traits and attitudes- keeping in mind that normality is a far more complicated subject than is apparent. Drawing a parallel, heroes should have consistent traits. These include, but are not limited to: bravery, passion, desire, toughness, dedication, valor, intrepidity, gallantry, etcetera.
Through this, those who are likely to act heroically can be more easily identified.
~~~
I stepped into the quiet library; this afternoon had been great, no, extraordinary. I put my saddlebag down and plopped onto the couch as I thought over the events of the day.
All of the tests and examinations went swimmingly, if a bit tedious. Well at least until Rainbow showed up, that was a hoot and a half. I’m still reeling from that, although not as much as I was initially.
And then there was lunch.
We ended up going to the new place in East Ponyville, but the place was quite packed. We both weren’t very hungry so we reserved a table for an hour later. We decided to take a walk in the meantime. We wandered around the outskirts of the town until we came across a lake near a grove of willows. We relaxed under the shade of the largest tree, the familiarity of which was very soothing.
We sat and chatted for a while, after a bit she began to skip rocks. It was just so calm and lax, quiet and romantic. It was perfect. We went back to the restaurant after a while and enjoyed the meal. It was a nice place, dark and quiet. I was worried Dash would think it was too romantic, but she never said a word about it.
After lunch, she walked me back to the library. We both stood awkwardly outside the door, as if we were expecting something. Well I know I was, I just don’t know what. In the end, she just quickly said, “Thanks for going out with me, it was nice. Well I’ve got to go, we should do this again sometime.” And then she took off. I could’ve sworn I saw that her face shifted from it’s regular cyan color to a redder hue.
All in all, I had a fantastic time. It was a great way to get my mind of this stressful research paper. I sighed, realizing that I should go record and index the results of Rainbow’s brain scan.
I went back to the machine to see that the slices, the developed film or digital image from a brain scan, were finished. I quickly set them out and began inspection. High levels of adrenaline, but that was expected. Residual levels of dopamine, often the cause of happiness and elation, suggested a recent release of the neurochemical, but I did not have the tools to find the exact time of release, though it looked to be about the time she arrived at the library. Then there was norepinephrine, a chemical similar to adrenaline but more closely tied with emotions, and it was at interestingly high levels. Serotonin, the neurochemical responsible for sleep and serenity, seemed quite depleted. Interesting.
I could swear I’ve heard of this chemical combination before, and that it meant something, something common. Something that had relevance to what was going on. Finally I saw the final ingredient, then it all fell into place: estrogen.
This combination of chemicals is a recipe for one of the most powerful pony emotions: love. Rainbow Dash was in love. Taking a look at how the times of chemical releases lined up, there was only one possibility: Rainbow Dash was in love with me. I continued to take note on this, as the full force of the discovery hadn’t hit me.
Suddenly, all at once, I tried to throw my quill in the air, jump for joy, shout out of elation, and connect my hoof to my face in shame. In the end it just ended up as me jumping in the air and punching myself in the face. I sat on the ground, my head hurting from both the fall and the epiphany. I quickly got up, I knew exactly how to finish the paper.
~~~
I believe I now truly understand what it means to be a hero. Just because a pony has extraordinary strength or speed, this does not mean they are a hero. A hero is somepony who helps, who does exactly what is needed. No more, no less.
A hero need not have great talent and skill; all they need is compassion and a desire to help. A hero can be anyone. There are many heroes in our world that are overlooked because what they do may not appear all that important or because they are nothing special. This does not make them any less of a hero. In the end a hero is one thing.
A hero is love.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle
~~~
I placed the quill down, exhausted from all of the work I had just done. I began to relax again when a knock at the door interrupted my tranquility. I sighed and looked at the clock; it was six, most sensible ponies were eating dinner. I got up and went to the door. To my astonishment, Rainbow stood on my doorstep. “Uhh, hey Twi, I was wondering if you wanted to, I mean since this afternoon was so great...” she trailed off, clearly at a loss for words, which was exceedingly rare for her.
I decided to take the initiative, “Dinner? Sure, but I don’t feel like going out, how about you come in.” She looked awestruck. “I had a great time this afternoon too.” I leant in and gave her a little kiss directly on her lips. She stood frozen as I made my way into the kitchen.
With a smile on my face, I began to prepare a meal for me and my hero.
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Very interesting way of portraying Twilights thoughts as a letter.
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A thoroughly enjoyable read. 9/10 javascript:smilie('
I like it
love it
An enjoyable read, well done.
So freaking adorable it hurts.
Yup, this was a great read. Twilight seems very in character indeed, and the fact that you are using .. well, uh, 'formal'/'sciency'(
) terms when she's thinking or writing, makes that even more evident. Dash also seems wellwritten, she's not really liking the idea of beeing stuck in one place and put through a lot of strange machinery. But, when Twi' asks her nicely she complies. (Could be out of friendship, but in this case, romance)
Great work on characterization and overall story, great idea on the essay that Twi's writing.
Also, this line had me laughing, maybe a bit more than I should have, but, oh well, it was kinda unexpected comedy (aaand it's pretty late over here) haha.
(Spoilered as it's close to the end)
Thanks for putting this up for everyone to enjoy, and good luck in the contest.
Liked and faved!
M
2572672 I believe the word you're looking for is scientific.
Glad you enjoyed it.
2572689 Yeah, that's the word, haha.
I blame the late hour! .. or something
Though, the facehoof-emote kind of actually represented me pretty well while writing that sentence, heh.
Oh well, thanks again.
Delightful. Good luck with the contest :)
Loved it.
A ton of the science is completely implausible, and estrogen would be for lust, not love, but the rest of the chemicals are correct in their placement, which is enough for me.
Now that was just downright sweet and adorable.
2572962 Lust=Love based on primitive instinct of all animals. I'm not sure about plants
Also pegasi and unicorns are implausible so I took some "poetic license"
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/176/395/shrugpony_earth_pony_twilight_by_imaplode-d49x1q0.png
Glad you enjoyed
2572998 I more than enjoyed.
2572952>>2572148>>2572185>>2572283>>2572584 Thank you, I'm very happy you liked my writing.
2572639 2572975 Mission accomplished
2572742 I had so many moments like that while writing this.
Anddddd this is where the story failed for me. Decent try, but it just doesn't hold up to rational thinking.
2573055 May I ask why not?
next chapter?sequel?something?please this story is amazing.
2573055 And yet, had you kept going...
The way you balanced the essay and story together was done brilliantly. I actually did something similar to this in my story Invictus where I overlapped an italicized, un-narrated conversation with the regular storyline.
The style was great. The delivery was great. The story fit perfectly in the way you wanted it to.
This is how you do a romance one shot.
2574345
I did not actually.
2574442 Don't wanna spoil anything in case you change your mind; let's just say that theories are disproven all the time.
2574479
I won't, not gonna bother. One look at the show and you know it's not the case, and having Twilight think otherwise just makes her an idiot.
Note: If I butchered grammar in my reply to you, I apologize. I'm dead tired, but for some reason I'd rather sit here and respond to you guys.
2574409 Oh, wow. You've no idea how much that means to me. I'm glad I could provide an entertaining read for you. I was a bit unsure if I pulled this off well. Your compliments mean a lot.
2573413 Sadly I have no plans for a sequel, seeing as I feel that the need for a narrative has been satisfied, and that any further writing would be unnecessary. However, I don't plan to stop writing fiction, TwiDash included, any time soon. So yes there will be more, probably not anything directly relayed, but there will be more.
2573055 "May" and "inherent" are the key words of the sentence, explaining how all that prompted RD's heroism was an emergency, where as the motives of those portraying Mare Do Well are not entirely clear. However, I respect your opinion, if you don't want to read it then don't.
2574593
Tell me how that jives, in any way, with the show.
Take dragonshy and Fluttershy coming to the defense of her friends when they need help, THAT is heroism.
2574624 She's writing a paper on an experiment, that's just how scientific method works in this case. When drawing conclusions, you only use the data attained during the experiment.
2574641
And what is she testing for? is there a single quality or character trait that screams 'hero'? or was all that left out for the sake of convenience?
2574647 That's the purpose of the entire fic. It would be easier to discuss if you read it, but I can't make you do anything.
2574593
Yeah whatever kid. Do what you do. Have a creeper eye.
2574668 God, you're coming across as awfully rude.
Sweet story, man. One of the best TwiDash fics I've read in a LONG time. Not since A Bluebird's Song have I read such a great TwiDash story. You've earned a follow, good sir!
It's a good story, but a few things about it kind of seemed a bit out of character to me.
First was the overly formal way Twilight was thinking/speaking. It makes sense in the letter because she's writing it as a formal essay, but Twilight doesn't usually speak so impersonally in the show. It really sounds like she's trying to alienate RD by using uncommon wording that Dash might not immediately understand.
Second was the sentence mentioned above about AJ and Fluttershy not being naturally heroic. I know that Twilight is sticking with the facts brought up in this experiment alone, but she knows both of these ponies very well and she knows that every one of her friends is heroic in their own way. It seems insulting to them to even suggest that Twilight doesn't see them as heroic, and that's extremely out of character for Twilight.
Like I said, I do like this story for the interesting setup to a Twidash relationship. It's only a few of the details that bother me a bit.
I'm really not a fan of TwiDash but I was curious, and this is quite cute, so I just tried to ignore the shipping. The only mistake - please don't hate me - I found was "likely to read this book three times before". A mixture of both past and present tense here, so you might want to look at that: all it needs is a "have" between "likely to" and "read", changing the "read" from *reed* to a grammatically correct *red*
Wow, I feel like such a grammar freak, but I'm only trying to make you aware of a mistake you may not have been. I misread my mistakes all the time. :)
Also, I think you may have meant oestrogen, not estrogen?
loved that ending.
2575123
Read is read (pronounced reed) in the present tense and is also read (pronounced red) in the past tense.
Grammar!
Although the have still stands.
Same criticisms about AJ and Fluttershy not being heroic.
Felt a bit rushed to me.
What the hell happened to Twilights hoof? You never mentioned her removing the glass or bandaging it. Did she do that hour of walking around on that with glass still in there? That must have hurt.
Not the best of the TwiDash contest entries I've seen, nowhere near the worst.
2574593 sweet.
2575492 i think it was mentioned that she used a healing spell on her hoof and a restoration spell on the beaker. And because you cant heal a hoof with glass still sticking out, and cant mend a beaker with some pieces still in your hoof... she definetely removed the glass pieces
.
I hope that answers your question
i would have put the quote thing, but I just joined today
2575825 Man, I must have skipped right over that part.
257519 What? I know, I think you misunderstood me. That's what I'm saying. Of course I know that read is pronounced read in the past tense and reed in the present. I was merely pointing out that the sentence didn't make sense.
2575123
That would be my fault, then.
It should be "she’d likely read at least three times before", since it is referring to three distinct occasions of "reading".
Awww, that was adorable!
You're very good.
Even going by twi's metrics here, RD is a poor candidate to be called 'hero'. I think you picked a slightly controversial topic to run a shipping fic out of. Twilight just comes off as a typical biased dame.
General note: Explanation of the statement of AJ's and FS's heroism.
This was really meant to showcase how little Twilight initially understood about heroism. I guess I executed that poorly, instead having Twilight make an out of character statement. I apologize for missing the point I was trying to make while writing. I would say that with Twi's new perception of heroes at the end, she would classify both Fluttershy and Applejack as heroic.
2574841 Glad you enjoyed. Your praise is beyond what this deserves. Thank you.
2575825 I appreciate your explanation. That's one less story point that I need to clarify.
2575137 2576544 Thanks, glad you liked it.
2577222 The story is mostly about discovering her (Twi's) hero, under the guise of a research paper. In the end, due to new-found love, Twi sees love in Rainbow. Your point has complete validity, but this is how I saw it when I wrote it.
2575492 For an explanation of the statement of AJ's and FS's heroism, see general not above. ^ It was most certainly rushed. I joined the competition four days before the deadline. Thus, I needed to create the story, draft the initial, edit, finalize and publish all in four days while other contestants used all seven weeks. Was this my own dumb fault? More or less. I'm quite satisfied with what I did in my limited time frame.
2575123 Oestregen vs Estrogen is an American/British spelling. I usually use British spelling since that's what I'm used to, but G Docs says it's wrong and the red squiggly is infuriating to me.
2574953 My reason for the wording is Twilight's focus on her work, as such she's not really talking to Rainbow as much as she is thinking aloud. For an explanation of the statement of AJ's and FS's heroism, see general not above. ^ I'm glad you took the time to read it regardless.
Loved it. I always love stories where RD begins with a crush on an oblivious Twilight, and having it discovered over the course of a research paper just seems so Twilighty adorkable. The interactions between the two during the research were amusing, and the slow build up to Twilight's realization of her own feelings, and then the discovery of Rainbow's, was great.
I also enjoyed the "research paper" parts of the story, the various elements of a hero and heroism you discussed were interesting, enough so that I wouldn't actually mind reading a real research paper on the same subject.
And dat ending
Between Twilight's last line to Celestia about a hero being love, and her thoughts on Dash being her hero. 
Great stuff, thoroughly enjoyed this!
How I notice these things I'll never know but:
should be off
Great read, high praise and all that.
You should be a bit more confident in your work. This was REALLY nice to read! I found the perspective quite interesting. It's the first story that I've read that was in the first person from Twilight. I now know that this contest has brought out some real talent, so I have quite a few stories to read. I look forward to reading more stories by you in the future. Keep up the great writing!
Grats on the win.
Well worth the second read; Dashie's so cute in this story.
I wish you equal luck in the Abandoned Fic Contest!
This fic was really good. Short and sweet. The only thing was that Twilight's affections for Dash were a little abrupt. I think you could've probably spread the foreshadowing out a little better through the beginning of the fic rather than right in the middle. Other than that, great job.
Normally I avoid first-person stories like the plague- they really rub me the wrong way- but this one is an exception. I found that it was quite enjoyable despite the perspective. Very cute. ^w^ Nice job, keep up the good work!