• Member Since 17th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 26th, 2017

CeresBane


Comments ( 11 )

Mein Gott! Another troll! I must burn my trail so he doesn't see me! My reputation is ruined!!!!

Also a little funny, a bit too serious and dry for my taste though.

2553697

only trolling the mods.

I mean seriously... not allowed to write about the fandom? Are you high?

2553797
Yeah... Probably high, maybe a little high on life... or something else... Paint... Retardation... Alcohol.... Pixie sticks.... Ahhh..... Pixie sticks.

I thought it was all right just a little too dry and serious to be really good.:trollestia: Good concept but just a little meh. Sorry man but feedback will help you excel right? Better than not doing your best anyway... Unless that's what you want? Freakin' confused.

Well! Time to go grocery shopping! I have a potluck to go to!

Oh yeah and good luck with the mods!

2553913

I know what you mean by dry and serious.

It's impersonal because the narrator is informative and doesn't put much of himself in it.

Traditionally this story should tell like funny face. Where you are a person who meets Lyra heart strings.

But... if I did that I'd lose the fear factor of the mystery of Lyra. Since I'd need to reveal whether Lyra was actually in the real world chopping up hands and driving people crazy or if its some psycho.

Tried to make the scariness, the mystery of it all as people mysteriously post en mass and disturbingly in an organised mass hijacking and spamming of forums and message boards to such a point that normal people can't fight it.

And those that do try to argue or fight, end up joining these people with no hands and hooves.

communication on the internet breaks down in secluded pockets of community, since going on public places on the net would make you a target for "them."

So you think my internet version a zombie horror, not scary? The fact that anything you're told by the narrator is completely from his observations and conjectures. Where the only fact is... he's a person telling you these things and something has been happening out there. that no one with any certainty can explain.

2554181
Hmmm.... I understand.

I think I know what was missing in this story that would have made it more along the lines (at least from my perspective) of what you were going for though. Maybe if you had a person who was seeing these things in the story it would have made the delivery a bit better.

Not to say that hypothetical character should have had a detailed background or even much of a personality. Personally I think that this level of serious delivery with a character that people could try and think of as themselves (letting their minds fill the gaps and immerse themselves in the story) the guy seeing this spookiness and well losing it in the end.

Reading the story (NO offense) it came off like a good idea for a short video without that anchor to let the reader feel scared that it was they that had their wrists on the line. Kind of like the book world war Z. The book came off as so detached that it was more fun than a 'scared' fun when I read it at least.

Good concept though.

2554181 I actually like the informative writing style. The broader discussion of the topic - as opposed to what happened to a single person - gives the reader subtle hints that the "Lyrafags" can attack anyone. It gives off the same vibe as any creepypasta I've ever read. So, "hands down" this is a pretty good read...oh, wait maybe I should've said something else. Oh, well what's the worse that can hap--

I am terrified its late I'm half asleep I just read a creepy story and I'm hearing creaking noises through out my house. They just started when I finished the story and I swear I heard something scratch my window. God save my soul I'm terrified! I am not kidding!

I found this rather amusing.

Twilight's best pony, hands down.

Come at me, bro.

... lyra, what have you been doing?
Lyra: fapping
... ewwww... I sometimes sit there
Lyra: men, what's... nope!

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