• Member Since 1st Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Tuesday



A young and gifted unicorn grows up learning to be a loving, caring filly. Always happy, and always smiling, she brought joy to all those around her. After many years of harmony, the peace is shattered by a mysterious dark wizard, destroying everything and everypony in sight, leaving this young filly to be the only survivor. The sickening losses bring the unicorn into a pursuit for vengeance.

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 43 )

Sound's interesting, think I may track for awhile.

Very nice. I'll have to track this one

I really like this so far! Proceed!

Ill drop by a wall-o-text later as more chapter is up :P

Thanks. :P Glad you like it.

236364 I really like how this is going, once a kind mare, always loving and giving turned into vengeful unicorn. I wonder if this will have happy ending or bad ending or both (alternative chapters)?

236485 Hehe, we'll have to see :P Not sure if I'll have alternative chapters or not.

237500 I think you should have both to satisfy both base of people who likes happy ending or bad ending. Of course, it is entirely up to you to decide upon on that or not.

This story just gets better and better but one big question that popped in my head, what if Altruise was actually supposed to be Element of Magic? Instead it got transferred into Twilight Sparkle, hereby doubling her magic capability? That's just me rambling in my head, you just deserved a fav instead of tracking :ajsmug:

Can't wait for later chapters because I know that it only will get worse due to your summary of this fanfic describing a dark wizard coming in town and destroy everything she loves.

257946 You certainly have some interesting thoughts regarding what is to come, though I don't want to give away too many spoilers at this point. Yes, as the story progresses, it will continue to get darker. Thanks for the fav, I'm glad you're enjoying it. :3

259619 but it seems like to me that her magic is actually specialized in destructive spells rather than daily magic thing that Twilight or other unicorn go by with. If that is, epic! Haha.

Great story. But I found a few mistakes:

"Altruise shrugged innocently, “I’unno, I just wrote down what I like.”"
Shouldn't there be a d after the apostrophe?

"“Those I gather were your father’s spell books?” She asked, pointing her hoof at the big shelf of literature."
Please insert 'books' in between 'Those' and 'I'.

Yeah, that's all I can remember, but this is starting to get good, keep going!:pinkiehappy:

Thanks for the feedback, though both of those were written like that on purpose.
Altruise says "I'unno" like that in the comical sense, as to how it sounds when she says it. You know, the whole "I'unno" when you shrug stupidly or something. XD

"Those I gather were your father's spell books?"
If I put "books" between Those and I, she'd be saying the word books twice in the same sentence, and it would sound funny. She's pointing at the books as she says it, that emphasizes enough of what she's talking about.

The rules of writing dialogue differ from writing narration. They speak by how it sounds, not always by how it should be properly spelled or pronounced; especially considering Altruise's age.

But I don't know, I suppose that's just the way I think; seems every writer likes to use literature in their own different way. Again, thanks for the feedback; it's much appreciated. :)


Yep. this is what I get from being a rushing American:rainbowlaugh:.
But yeah, I would write like that too.

“I want to kill him.” Altruise said with a cold, monotone voice.

*inserts dramatic soundtrack*

This story needs more likes! Great chapter by the way. I would submit this to EqD when it's done. This is going to be an epic battle.
(I like where this is going)

Thank you. :)
Yeah, epicness is on the way. :moustache:

Now where is Twilight among all of this, STUDYING, STUDYING and STUDYING!

Epic battle :D

Nebulous is dead. Why do I get the feeling there be another battle? Oh well, I'm probably wrong.

I am enjoying this story so much right now!
This is great. You, sir, deserve a moustache :moustache:

this is getting good cant wait for he next chapter

*suspenseful music*

NEIN I hate cliffhangers :trollestia:

Read the fight scene while listening to Bangarang by Skrillex.
Pretty sweet combo. FUCK CLIFFHANGERS!

yay Altruise is still alive and can do magic again :twilightsmile:, cant wait for the next chapter if theres going to be one

How many kicks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?


Just one!
Yeah, you got the reference. XD

It was a reference, wow, I thought it was a coincidence.

Haha yep! It was a reference. XD No coincidence there.

Altruise survived a battle against Nebulous, teleported the moon, survived, woke up fine and dandy, and was able to use magic with a broken horn?
I hope this continues.

I love this story at like chapter 17 or 18 I started to shed legit tears but this is so good.:pinkiesad2::twilightsmile:

want sequel cant wait for it if you do it :twilightsmile:

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