• Member Since 1st Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 10th, 2019

Bad Pun

Comments ( 77 )

you really bring out the contriversary of the talons, covering the differences between them and everything well, wonder what prancer is gonna do now? stay with the talons? run off to find his father? i look forward to more.

Prancer will find his way. It'll be tough for him, of course. Then again, he's never had it easy, has he? :ajsmug:

Thanks for reading! I appreciate the feedback, too. :ajsmug:

Also, don't worry too much about Lightfeathers, There's more to him I have written up! :trollestia:

You my good sir have got yourself another reader keep up the good work:ajsmug:.

Thank you very much, and there is more on the way... soon...

Looking good so far :yay:

Thank you both! I'm glad to be moving it into the meat of the story now. :ajsmug:

First two chapters of FoE: Burned Feathers. Not bad. Fairly relatable type stuffs. Sad and violent, but not super-angsty. On the other hoof, not particularly funny either.

Nice to see more Griffon lead characters. I'm willing to give at least a few more chapters a try. Not entirely sure what I'm expecting, though.

3220072 Thanks for the comment! I do appreciate the feedback!

Prancer's story isn't a very happy one, though there's sure to be a few gags here and there, it's my intent to have a more serious tone to this story. It's not from the perspective of a pony after all.

Anyways, I do hope you enjoy what I have in store!

First chapter's a little rough, but by the end of it you got some polish going. Second is much better. Also, nice to see that little hint you dropped about the cave being furnished, then being built upon towards the end of Ch2.

Poor Harry... :fluttershysad:

Yeah, poor Harry. :applecry:

I do plan to polish up the first chapter soon, after I get a little further with the current works. If you would be so kind, I would greatly appreciate a hoof in finding what needs a bit of work! :ajsmug:

o.O Harry... well, I suppose he traded his unlife for a leg... Not a very good deal though. :fluttercry:

Congratulations on winning the 600 member competition with this story! :rainbowdetermined2:

I hope you continue to have fun writing it. :twilightsmile:

Hey, thanks!
...and of course, thank you for creating the whole FoE thing, too .:twilightblush:

Still need an eye patch. :raritywink:


And an update. :fluttershysad:

((Then again, I'm one to talk! :trollestia:))

You know I'm working on it! :applecry:


Doesn't stop me from wanting to read it. :pinkiecrazy:

B-but... eyepatch... :raritycry:


So close, I know... but no eyepatch...


You're a horrible tease with that! :fluttershysad:

That was an entertaining chapter! :pinkiehappy:
The Awesome: Nameless seems kinda interesting. At least the way he handled the conversation with that one guy early in, and the way he got dealed into the card game with his weapons and whatnot. He seems to carry himself well, even if his past might have been something unsavory (Guise of Chaos's Ripple comes to mind, but this guy seems considerably more collected.), he's alright thus far. Kinda. Though I get the impression a reveal with this guy is probably gonna blow up all over Prancer, regardless of if the reveal directly involves him or not.

The Fun: Oh neat, a game of cards. And Prancerwhatshisface seems to be learning how to play it by... playing it. Neat! Yay for hanging out with friends! Or. Something.

The Surreal: Man things got kinda nuts as Prancer got drinking. Aaaand it just so happens that I like weird, surreal, bizarre, mindscrewy, whatever the frigs. And this had a lot of weird, surreal, bizarre, mindscrewy, whatever the frig his drunknness was. YAY!~ And the whole friends-seen-as-family-nightmare-perspective thingy or something.

The Sad: Considering how he just had his first binge drinking experience and his exposure to it from associating it with how his mother used it, he's all set up for a self destructive life of alcoholism. As he learns more, he might not derp as hard as that first time, but it seems like he'll probably end up trying to use it to make the hurt go away. And eventually probably follow the rest of the patterns his mother seems to have followed. Plus the fact that he's having dreams about committing suicide reinforces that likely end. I suppose if it weren't tagged as tragedy and instead as adventure or something, I'd assume they'ld learn from what they suffered through, struggle, and become a better and stronger being for it.

I feel sorta bad, but since I also liked how out of it he was, I had fun with that part and then it was OK in terms of my pleasure-tainment VS do-not-want factor. ^.^ Or. Something.

Chapter was about as long as the typical Project Horizons chapter and took me a while to get through. (I think I had been listening on and off to my Text to Speech conversion for about four nights now?) Was a mostly fun misadventure though.

3925539 Thank you so much for your very thorough review! It's nice to have a pony out there to help "keep me honest" in it all! I'm also quite glad that you enjoyed it!

A side note; I was *SO* nervous about the poker game turning out well, but it seems to have gone just ducky! I am very happy to hear that everypony I've talked to liked it!

Anyways, thank you again, and Prancer will continue on doing the very best he can!

For some reason, I now have the mental image of Prancer casually picking up and tossing fillies and colts with foretalons because reasons.


Sadly, because he was abused as a fledgling, it's something leftover from his childhood. A child with his background tends to be abusive. He doesn't mean to do any of this, it's just part of how he was raised... or the lack thereof...

I await your reviewing words of wisdom with baited breath!

Well, with training, he'll be totally prepared to take on the filly-chucking championships! Also, I suppose it's probably better than slaying them for sexual pleasure or him sexing them up in general. At least in the case of death, it's kinda one of the few inevitable things.

Silly little prancywancy. He needs hugs.

I could try to review. I actually listened to this chapter via Text to Speech twice in the past week or so, but never really sat down to write anything. Would you rather I give my reccount of 'what I remember happening' after I reread it another time (which is almost gaurenteed to not match up with what actually happened) a somewhat silly and fluffed up list of the things I liked in the chapter (which might end up being squicky or something depending) or like. Another form of response to what I read? Either way, I can't promise it'll be today if/when I do. Though i just found out about 10 minutes ago that I have no assignments due tonight in particular, so I dunno.

I have to say, if you're enjoying my story, I'd be honored if you read it again. :ajsmug:

In any case, I love getting feedback from you. However you'd like to write your review of my chapter is already more than I could ask for. Thank you, again!

The jist of what I remember happening:
Oh noes, we're missing a team member. WE MUST FIND THEM
oh hey apparently my other team member really likes hookers but I don't have time to get horny right now WE MUST FIND THE MISSING TEAM MEMBER
Your filly is getting good sleep that I wish I had shut up WE MUST FIND THE MISSING TEAM MEMBER
wait what do you mean our team member was a foal fiddler and went to enjoy the raiders that doesn't even OHSHI SHE'S GOING TO RAIDERS WE HAVE TO STOP HER man I should eat right AFTER WE FIND TEAM MEMBER
and then some stuff exploded and pranciewancy tossed a already-dead filly because high score!
And Nameless totally didn't have saucy hot funtime with Pranciewancy while he was unattentive because darn, unaware saucey hottimes must be freaking hard to achieve anyway. Though I guess it's possibly they didn't notice until it was over or something and then they were like WHERE DID ALL THIS COME FROM and then splode.

Oh. And that really cute hypergriff showed up at some point and I sortakinda wanna hug them.
ctrl+f says it was Gavii, so yay Gavii!

Oh. And then there was the part where they were like OHSHI SLAVERS TOOK OUR TEAM MATE AND WE'RE NOT BEING PAID TO SAVE THEM BUT WE'RE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY and then chapter ends to build up suspence for upcoming adventure and to allow time to think up and write down events of happenings. And stuff!

Inb4 they're being held in some repurposes MoM thingy that conveniently had a bunch of tools and gear for contraining and manipulating living beings without killing them, because productivity! Or maybe it's in the back of a casino and they keep slavework for entertainment. Or maybe it's just some kind of random cave filled with ponies and an adolescent dragon that wants babes to gawk at and touch andor eat.

and uh. Stuff.

"OK, got it! Can't start the party with a bang." She said with a giggle.

This goofball. Sounds like my type of bird. :heart:

Anywho, chapter was neat. Yay, updates! Thanks for all the work and for sharing. :D

Thinking on it, i'm not sure if it would be worse if it's a changeling who's a little behind on the news (please don't like it be a changeling >.<) or if his father actually was that out of touch with what happened.


Thanks, and you're welcome! :ajsmug:

Anyways, I'm not going to slip any real spoilers for ya, but the plotline is pretty much set up already and it does not include changeling infiltrators or assassins or stuff. Though, come to think of it, it does sound really cool!

In any case, back to working on chapter 6!

What do these characters look like, anyway? I mean I'm pretty sure Prancer is the guy in the cover image, and then I know Zebras have stripes. I completely forgot what Razor looks like. I'm pretty sure Gavii has silver wingtips, but I don't know much else about her look ( so I just made up some stuff all vaguelike last night when I was doodling before bed. I can PM you those doodles if you want). And uh... stuff! Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places for their descriptions though. And typically to prevent having an obnoxious block of descriptive text, fics like FoE Heroes and Project Horizons and FoE tend to give a brief desc of a character when they're being looked at closely for the first time, and tend to provide more specific details on appearance as they become relevant (kinda like what with Adler's eye color, or 'a streak of [body color] zoomed by' when looking at a fast moving object.)

Also, if Razor's memories do come back (assuming they aren't already back and being faked up or anything) if that green one or whatever Prancer assisted in killing had previously been close, I wonder if that will affect Nameless's disposition towards Prancer.

Also, between the tragedy tag, and whatever happened to what'sherface the big puss/hen from one of the earlier chapters right when she finally got to be close with Pranciebutt, laughtergriff (Which Text to Squeak seems to have determined to be pronounced very similar to "Giver") is probably going to die in an awkward, relatively silly fashion at some point. Then again, she's already dealing with the fact that bighen she wanted to butttouch died. So there's that aspect of loss and stuff.

(Also, TtS reads Syzygy close to "Scissor+Gee". Which gives me mental imagery of a zebra incredibly fond of a pair of scissors. But I'm just being a goofball now.)


First of all, I'd LOVE to see your doodles! YAY doodles!

I did have some description of each character, although I was never verbose per se... Details will come!

A side note, I am compiling commissions of my characters! Like this one of Syzygy!

4650135 I get a "403 Forbidden" error with the Syzygy link.
Anywho, yay infos!

(The pre-sleep doodles will be in your inbox shortly. Though it's all self-serving silliness, so... stuff!)

Dawwww, cute. 9/10 would very likely boop!


What if it's a changeling pretending to be a changeling pretending to be his father, who was actually a changeling? WITH AN EYEPATCH. :pinkiegasp:

Dang, you got me... Prancer is really half-changeling and he will eventually learn about his heritage and be able to change into any shape known to pony kind. Just with only one eye!
Then he will eventually fight aliens for the right to blow up the fourth wall and assault the human realm!


...No eyepatch! :ajbemused:


Princess Prancer. Has a nice ring to it. :trollestia:


Hmmm... He might not look too bad with a horn and crown... :applejackunsure:

4650214 While it's on my mind, here's a thing I stumbled across.
My mental image of Gavii in a nutshell. http://retlrabbit.tumblr.com/post/92012700704/faedee-pinkie-you-pain-in-the-ass-i-love-you

I wonder how she rationalizes killing others. Is it as simple as not thinking anything of it because it's so commonplace and expected. Then again there's that whole training and upbringing thing where the whole point was to get good at killing. Maybe it's OK because everyone else is doing it? An expected duty of any griffon born to and raised by griffons? Maybe a religious belief or mandate to do so? Maybe it's to purge harmful parasites so the rest can thrive? Is it because it's fun to make them explode like a party game and there's no persevered moral ambiguity tied into that? Break and boom and burst all the things and make such brightly colored confetti and streamers! It's not like our world's videogames don't make slaughter to seem like a fun thing. Even Fallout games try to make it a pleasure. Everyone likes fireworks right? Is it simply because that's what someone else wants? Is it the money? Is it sexy? Is it no different than humans killing bugs and plants and livestock? Is it a carefully calculated balance of karmic transactions in the form of bullets and blood? Is it to defend family, friends, and self? Is it because lives will always end as certainly as they began, and speeding that up doesn't make much difference? Is it because it's all meaningless in the end, so do what one must to survive and prosper and pleasure until it's all over and gone?

I don't know why I woke up so early in the morning with this weirdness bouncing around in my head. I should probably go back to bed.
Anyway. Uh. Yay fic!

4884172 I assume you are referring to Gavii. Her internal feelings and reasoning for things is not necessarily dictated by her outgoing nature. In previous chapters she is shown having deep reflection about important events, even regret and desires for a friend's safety.

Now, a lot of her character isn't shown or narrated, as the story is viewed by Prancer's perspective, leaving most of her nature known to a reader by what is viewed while Prancer is around. This is slanted by his biases as well. I like to think that she has much more to her than just what is on-screen.

Anyway. Uh. Yay fic!
I most definitely agree! :pinkiehappy:

4889745 Yes, that's the one!

Totally unrelated "Red Eye ain't nothing but a puffed up prancer!"
I think that line comes up somewhere in Chapter 6 of FoE, which I was just relistening to. I was reminded of this fic yet again. XD

4894491 That's funny! I totally forgot that line!

Fortunately, Prancer is named independently thereof. :ajsmug:

This is the part where I cross-fic ship a puffed up Prancer with catbird Kari from Fallout: Equestria - Wings You've Earned.
Or not, I guess. There's a particular age gap there that would make that incredibly awkward.

In any case, YAY FIC!

You throw another fic in here for me to check?

Chapter 6 will never come out at this rate!

(not really, it's just going slowly! :applejackunsure:)

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